controlling emotions

Controlling emotions

Hey guys, by the way, this is my first waffle. I didn\'t intend for this to be written. It wasn\'t planned out but I thought it\'s going quite well. There will be lemon I am sure. No adult fan fiction would not not have lemon in it! :) And loving adult fanfic doesnt mean you\'re addicted to porn! Never never! Oh ya! Rurouni Kenshin and the names included are not mine and will never be mine. Hiks hiks. how sad. N\'ways just enjoy!!!!

Chapter 1: beginning is always like this

Blank blank blank

There I was, surrounded by the most intoxicating flowers and the breeze of fresh air. What is that? Oh! Water! I surpassed and thought it was sand. No! it is water. The clear blue water. I am walking on sand and the clear blue horizon clinging on to the sky like a drape. beautiful. nothing there but the salty sea


Wait
Who is that?
Red?
It is?
But what kind of thing would stay red at a beach like this?
Crimson?
Wow
No wait
It is a guy
There !!there!! there he\'s turning around!
Ah! he looks...
Looks like...
What
??????


WAAAAIIIIIKKKKKEEEEEE UUUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


AIEH ! I screamed and jumped out of what seems to feel like my bed. But I stood up so quickly that I banged my head on to something really hard. Ouch!!!!! huh? I slowly opened my eyes, pain crawling all over my forehead.


Ah! Misao-chan,!!! I said in response.


She was holding her forehead, crouching on top of my bed. \'Kaoru-chan... uhk... You know ... Your head.. is really...really...\'


\'Misao-chan, I am so sorry!\' I exclaimed ready for any punishments. Without looking up, she showed me a large mini clock. The time showed 7:51. Huh?


Silence¡...

\'Misao-chan!!!!! Why didn\'t you tell me it was late!!!\' I yelled and scrambled quickly out of bed and start to get dressed. She was looking at me with those you-have-got-to-be-kidding-me-right-? type of expression. I couldn\'t be bothered to look at back but scrambled out of the room and yelled \'bye.\'

My name is Kaoru Kamiya. Please to meet you. Me and Misao lives in an apartment just near the big city. I am 17 and Misao is a year younger. We don\'t go to the same school though. Her school is only a minute away while mine is 10 minutes away. We were friends since kindergarten. But use use of high school, we went to different school. She was sick when we had the test and in response we couldn¡¦t make it to the same school together. It was a shame. Misao is a really smart person.

TENG! TENG! TENG!

The bell rang just in time. I was about to get in deep trouble. Thank god I had quite a speed. I am quite a sport myself. Most of my friends call me tomboy even though I have this huge long and heavy black hair. But I love my hair. It goes with my style. Misao always said it is good to know that you can look sporty and feminine at the same time.

\'You are in quite early Kaoru\', I looked up and saw my friend goggling about above my head as I sat down, recovering my breath. The class is about to begin.

\'Yeah! this is as early as I can get Megumi\', I mumbled as I put my face between my arms, resting on my desk.

\'How can you not not be late!\' said Megumi, her hands crossed. She is such a good friend. Just when I really needed her. Ha. Ha .ha. I feel so sleepy. Last night I couldnt sleep. I couldnt sleep for the past 3 days. Something is bugging me and I dont know what it is... and make sure that you lose ...----\' Megumi\'s voice faded away as my eye lids grow heavier and heavieR...and heavier and heavi------


^^^^^^^^


I awoke very slowly. My eye lids are still heavy and I just stared with my eyes half closed. The evening sun shown above my face. The smell of grass heavily filled my lungs. It is summer. The gentle summer breeze¡K

All of the sudden something is blocking my view. Dark! it cast a shadow!. Argh! I want to see the evening sun God Dammit!!!

BRUUUKKK!!! I heard a sound of ... wait... was that...\'oro oro oro!!!\'

I suddenly opened my eyes. I realized that my hand had shot up in the air and I was sitting down on a chair. The class is empty.

Now...! I am wondering why I had my hand up. Hm... that is weird... I stood ud td then I tripped over.\'OUCH!\' Me and another voice said that. I was laid spread eagled on the floor but something was underneath me. It was a leg ... two legs...

I looked up to my right and saw that my skirt was lifted. And as I was about to push it down in embarrassment, I saw a face. It had red hair and a face just like an angle. He looked very pretty. (Am I supposed to say that to a guy?)

He closed his eyes quickly and holding on the edge of the desk, he forces himself easily to stand up. I tumbled off of him, clearly very embarrassed. He was groaning a little, and while still holding his head with his palm, he looked at me. I stood rigid. He had these piercing amber eyes that struck me so deep. I couldn\'t swallow. My legs couldn\'t move. I don\'t know what is happening to me but I can tell that if I do anything wrong this person could tear my head off.

He shook his head and started to leave the room. I sighed in relieve.

\'You were the last person here. I just thought you might want to wake up.\' He said. His voice is so deep and husky. For a moment there he looked really cool, and very breathtaking. His figure just gracefully combine with his un tucked shirt. His tie loose and his pants reaches down to shut the view of his shoes. He was short and I couldn\'t help but think that this guy is not as tall as any other guys.

He started out of the door when he paused and looked at me, melting me with those beautiful eyes. \'and... just so you know... no other guys would find bunnies sticking out of your bottom attractive.\' He then left the room.

I stood there shocked. What? I could feel myself burning. What the hell did he just said? What kind of guy would safe up his breath just to say... just to say...---
\'ARGH!\' I stomped my feet.

For another minute I stood in the empty classroom, mind blank with fury. I couldn\'t think. I need to cool off.

The bell rang, and by the next two seconds, the students have already milled up in class, picking up their bags to continue home.

\'did you see that guy----
\'---I think he¡¦s too short---
\'he is just so gorgeous---
\'did you see his eyes?\'
\'---I¡¦ll put his name on my list---

Whispers clouded my ears. Were they just talking about¡K?

\'Kaoru-chan!! I knew you\'d been asleep by then, but you\'ve missed the most important part of the whole school.\'Megumi reaches me and hugged me on my shoulders.

\'Arg!!! what the hell are you talking about Megumi.\' I pushed her hand aside, but she is too busy dreaming. \'why... that guy of course...!\' I pushed her hand aside again and asked, \'what do you mean?\'

Megumi picked up her bag and headed towards the door with her giggling girlfriends. \'why... that graceful guy with those eyes of amber...\' she went out of the door.

Balancing myself, I ignored to confusion. Him...!!! That ... that... horrid most...just....... HIM!!!

There was not much more in my head but knowing I must get back home. I was the last to leave the school because I remembered to take my art sketchbook along. It was a big A3 portfolio that I have to fill in the next year. my time has come to be even more independent.

Cruising through the soft wind, my hair blew away the stress and confusion. I kicked a can out of my way. Then found how much fun that I started to run with it just like a soccer ball. No mean to be so eased but I am a great sports player. I kicked the ca man many directions, catching it easily with my feet. My skirt blowing here and there, circling me as I jumped and spin.

Suddenly, a strangers\' leg took charge of the can, and I struggle to get the can back. The person, whoever it wast sot so fast that I didn\'t have time to think. But I am not the type of person who gives up that easily. Without looking at the figure\'s face, I scrambled and took a very high concentration in taking the ball. Never give up! Spinning here and there, running back and forth trying to gain enough speed and concentration to get the can out of the way.

\'OUUUCCCHHH.\' My legs began to weakened and fell down, butt first. Somehow that fast play made my legs cramped. All the spinning and sliding. Maybe because I wasn\'t used to it. As I move my leg the pain increased all over my leg. \'ugh...\' I whimpered.

The figure bent down and released his tie. I looked up and saw those eyes. Those eyes again. This time though, I couldn\'t figure out his emotions. His hair tumbled down on my leg, clear red and long. As a girl myself, it is hard to take care of hair that long, especially for a guy.

\'you span too much.\' He husked again. I stay silent. ¡¥when you are not used to spinning, your legs can bend and you can get into much more pain.\' With his tie, he wrapped it very tightly on my left leg. It felt much better.

My left leg felt well but my right leg kept getting worse. He then bent down and draped his arms around my neck. My heart skipped a beat. What? Confused at first, he quickly took my tie out of the collar. And then started to circle my right leg with my own tie. Oh¡K I reddened.

\'can you walk?\' he whispered. I shook my head a little. \'then you will have to stay here.\'He stood up and walked to another direction.


................................ WHAT???

\'stay here? What do you mean?... I can\'t walk! how am I suppose to go home... right... great....h myh my legs are damaged all because of you... if it\'s only a leg than... he he...yeah... I can do it-----\'

\'I was just picking up my bag and yours.\'He came back again, holding his backpack and mine on his shoulders. He bent down suddenly and picked me up with his one hand. The other hand holding our backpack\'

he started walking when I started \'um... you know... you don\'t have to do this...\'

he was silent.

\'I mean... I can go by myself... you don\'t havepickpick me up... and your knapsack must be heavy as well as mine...\' I couldn\'t help but feel sorry for him.

\'where do you live?\'

\'you know... you don\'t need to...\'

\'where do you live?\'

I was silent. Sighing I said, \'apartment near the pub.\'

* * *


I stood with my shoulders heaved to the wall. I am in front of the door of the apartment but I didn\'t ring the bell.

\'you must be getting in quick.\'He said, his breathing normal, like as if that whole walk was only walking on clouds. \'I have a medicine here for you that can help you release the pain.\'

\'¡K what is your name?\' I asked, blushed.

\'... do you really want to know?...\'

\'your name?\' I said, blushing more.

He was quite for a minute and then spoke in a gentle voice, \'I go with the name Kenshin.\' After that, he held up his hand to give me the medicine. I took it with no further hesitation. He turned back and started to walk away.

\'Kenshin!\'

he stopped.

\'...I just want to say... thank you.\' As red as a tomato I can feel.

\'it was partly my fault\' his voice was husky again. His eyes amber, left traces along my spine. I swallowed.

I stood staring at his figure riding away. Why don\'t I see him at school? Is he new? Will I ever meet him again? Stop it I told myself. I don\'t have time to know all of this. And what? Am I interested? Ha ha ha... no way... I am not falling again.


* * *


I can still trace that expression on her. She wanted to know me, I laughed at myself. What a pity. Just a trace of my amber eyes and she¡¦s melting already.

But it wasn\'t me. I wasn\'t myself. It wasn\'t me that gave her my real name. Usually I go by the name Himura.

I walked towards home. No. I am headed towards my apartment. Ever since I came here there is no home. I completely forgot about it. It\'s in the past. And no more shall be said.


* * *

I ran to the door as fast as I can. My lungs are racing rapidly. I will be late again no doubt about that. I lrealready one minute late.

The school door was just in front of me and I can see the policeman ready to fall asleep. He is a very kind guy and ageing. I don\'t want to interrupt him. So with my fast speed and the super ability to jump high, I raced from my end and towards the fence. It was a high fence and not many people can jump just like that.

I am so lucky I am good in sports. Grinning I passed over the fence. But... unfortunately, there was a guy in front of me. No! You can get hit! The person turned around, and then again I see very warm and mysterious eyes I have once seen before. It was him! Kenshin!

With embarrassment I lost my concentration and it happened so fast. One minute I was up in the air. The next minute I was held by the most soft and warm arms.

Slowly I opened my eyes, only to see his beautiful face. He was smirking at me. That horrid creature! I creased my eyebrows and frustrated, I fought my way to stand up. He was looking at me dumbly. Yeah right!

\'Don\'t I get another thank you?\' he asked with his usual husky tone. That tone sends chills.

\'You don\'t need a thank you!\' I spat back, turning my face so he couldn\'t see the blush creeping up my face. \'I should thank you for making me even more late.\' And with that, I ran as fast as possible to the school door.


* * *


The bell rang again, signaling the first brake. My pen is still clutched to my hands. Shaking so hard because I have been writing so much. What a day. My mind couldn\'t even get past that exam. If I am not mistaken, number 3 was right. Oh, and I forgot question 7... how can I be so stupid. And on question 17------- Kaoru!!!\'
\'Huh?\' I looked up to see a smirking face.

¡¥Exam is over! Hand me your sheet!\' Megumi points out towards my sheet. I glanced at it quickly before handing it to her. I can never be able to keep still before I get my results. I was really frustrated. I was never that nervous in an exam. Usually I take exams quite finely.

Yes! It\'s because of him. That boy is sitting right next to me and somehow my mind flashes back to that annoying moment. The time ran so fast that I couldn\'t help but write fast. His figure while sitting down is so graceful. It is annoying to see the way his brows creased in concentration, his mouth sucking the end of the pen, his hair falling down his shoulders, his legs underneath the table...

Oh! The yearning! That moment where he was holding me just couldn\'t pass my mind. I need fresh air. Seriously!

Before I stand up, I glanced at him. Well, let\'s say I didn\'t get a glance at him because as soon as the bell rang, all the giggling girls have already crowded over him. I couldn\'\'t see his face, and I noticed that some of those shrieking giggling girls are ones from the seniors. Most of them are juniors though. Typical! Those girls wreck the name of maturity and women.

Annoyed, I slid out of my chair, grabbed my lunch box and my art sketch book, and headed towards the most comfortable place in the school... the tree. Yeah, the best place to eat is beneath the blossoming sakura trees. Green and white mixed together with the soft wind and the sunshine. What a wonderful place.

Quickly I sat down between the roots and the soft grass and gladly opened my lunch box. Misao-chan is a great cooker. She is even a better cooker than me. Everything I make would turn out black and brown.

After I finished my lunch, I grabbed my folio and flicked through it. On the end of the page, there is a letter. It was once written by my mother. Oh, the pain! There is no other in the world that I wanted to see the most than my mother.

I read her letter over and over again. It was the first and last letter that she has ever sent me. After she was taken to the hospital, she asked the doctor to write it for me. A few minutes after she finished the letter, she breathed the last breath. I didn\'t believe. I couldn\'t. She is too young, too young to die.

I looked at the date. It has been a year since she\'s left me. Again, a drop of tears spread to the letter. It was soaked enough the first time I read it. Every time I do read it, my heart just couldn\'t handle it anymore. Always, fresh tears grow rapidly inside of me. One year and I still couldn\'t forget you. How I missed you mom. Oh, how I want you back.

I ed ted the letter and closed my eyes, tears flowing down my cheeks.

\'Stupid!\'I said to myself. \'Why? Every time I see this...?\' more tears flow. Chuckling softly I whispered \'you\'re a wimp Kaoru. It has only been a year.\'

Whipping out the tearom mom my face, I inserted the letter back inside my folio. The book is precious to me as well; it was the first book that my mother has managed to buy from a really expensive store. She told me how she was expecting me to grow up and be who I wanted to be, with that art book. Hugging it, I smiled. Things just never change.

Slowly I stood up and heard the bell riSighSighing, I walked slowly towards class, not noticing a flash of amber eyes that followed me through the bushes.

* * *

okay okay! so probably this is not the best beginning to a chapter. But hei, more fun stuff is coming right at you! more interesting stuff that is... ^__^
oh ya! I want to know what you think about this chapter and tell me some ideas that I can put in after that... I appreciate what you guys think so I am open to any critics...that is... not too sour! N\'ways move on to the next chapter!