Loving a Killer

Disclaimer: I don\'t own Misao, Aoshi or Okina. T_T
They belong to Nobuhiro Watsuki etc.

Warning...my English sucks so there are grammar mistakes in this. I am sure of it.
Also, there are spoilers if you haven\'t seen/read Kyoto arc.

\" Speaking \"
* Thinking *

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Loving A Killer
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Misao saw with a piercing clearness the fall of the body of one of the most important persons to her. The body of a man who had watched over her for the past eight years with great care knowing when to hold on and when to let go. *Jiya.*

Blood poured out of him changing the colour of the floor to black red as he crashed. She couldn\'t move, couldn\'t raise her eyes of the body to look at the man standing beside it with bloody kodachis in his hands. Tall man with a face she had memorized a long time ago.

\"It\'s over.\"

Merely few words spoken with a deep, masculine voice, smilimiliar to her, and they broke the numbness that had ended all movements in her. For the first time in eight years she laid her eyes on him. Saw the man that had stolen her heart a long time ago.
...Stolen? No. She had given her heart to him freely, completely. Forever.

And what she saw now was and wasn\'t what she had thought she would see.

Aoshi stood still in his place and Misao watched him looking for a sign that would show her that there was still something left of the man that had watched over her and of the man she loved. The man whose face was the first memory she had, whose name had been the first word she had ever spoken. A man that had been able to smile only to a little girl tugging his pant leg in order to get him to play with her. The man he was now was very different from the man in her memory.

His hair fell over his eyes covering them from Misao\'s shocked and searching eyes. *How can he...do this?* The scent of blood lingered in the air. A tear slid down her cheek, but she didn\'t notice. She was too shocked to move. *Jiya wa....* A wave of pain and sorrow washed through her causing her to hope that everything she had just witnessed was just a nightmare.

Aoshi flicked his wrists and cleaned his kodachis of Okina\'s blood. He sheeted them carefully without paying any attention to the short woman standing frozen at the door, sun shining behind her making the lines of her form unclear and shadowing her front, her face. But Misao was sure that Aoshi knew who she was even though he hadn\'t seen her in years.

Her eyes widened when Aoshi turned and looked at her with ice blue eyes cold enough to freeze. *So cold. He was never this cold before...never.* His eyes pierced through her and left her defenceless against him. She could feel her body shaking in fear. Not of him, but of what was to come.

Despite what she had just seen, she somehow knew that despite everything, he would not hurt her. He would not. She didn\'t have to fear him.

She heard the faint rustle of his clothing as he moved towards her, to her or past her, she didn\'t know. There was a little bruise on his cheek and Misao, to her horror, wanted to go to him in order to see the wound. To treat it and take away the pain of it. More so than to run to the man on the floor in a puddle of blood. Time had increased her feelings towards Aoshi so much, that what she felt towards Okina was nothing compared to the strength of her love for Aoshi. *Kami-sama. Tasukete...*

He moved closer and Misao felt something she had never felt before. A tingling sensation all over her lithe body. She had heard of these kind of feelings that a man could arouse in a woman, but this was the first time she ever felt them herself. Her eyes admired Aoshi\'s body and the way his cloths shifted against it as he moved and at the same time a picture of Okina\'s body on the floor stayed in the back of her mind, almost forgotten now.

He was standing right in front of her and Misao realized that she had forgotten how tall Aoshi was. And how good-looking. Her heart seemed to burst in her chest as she looked into his blue eyes. Despite the fact that the man to whose care Aoshi had left her eight years ago lied on the floor dead or dying by Aoshi\'s hands, she could not deny her feelings. She had never tried or could. Not even now.

\"Misao...\"

The sound of his voice caressed her ears as he said her name standing so close to her that she could almost feel the warmth of his body. She opened her mouth, but found herself unable to say a thing. There was something in his eyes and in his voice that stopped her. A change. The colour of his eyes, the sound of his voice, both were different.

At first his eyes had been unreadable and ice cold, but now there was a feeling in them she couldn\'t quite place. No one had ever looked at her like that. His first words had sounded cold, but now there was a bit of warmth in them. Her mind had been so concentrated on her own feelings that she hadn\'t noticed it.

Her eyes widened in shock when she felt his strong and muscled arms pull her tightly against him. His scent along with his warmth filled her with longing she had never felt in the past. Before she had a change to say or do a thing, he pressed his mouth against hers. Her gasp of surprise gave him an opening and his tongue invaded her mouth in a violent passion. His arms tightened their hold.

Misao was completely mortified. She could not believe what was happening. His mouth and body increased the strength of the sensations in her body. The growing need forcing everything else out of her mind. The feel of his strong body pressed firmly against hers and his hungry mouth against her mouth urged her to answer to his caresses. Very slowly at first she started to answer to his kiss, but soon she had wrapped her arms around his neck and was kissing him with a passion matching his.

She felt him moving and suddenly pain shot through her as her back hit the wall of the small hut fast and hard. A small pained sound escaped her throat. Aoshi shifted her position against him so that he could open her uniform\'s obi.

His hands that had been keeping her up against the wall placed her on her foots, finished untying her obi and threw it and her top away. Misao\'s mind was all tangled up and she couldn\'t follow his movements and before she knew it, he had moved to his knees, his mouth leaving hers as it made its way to the sensitive skin of her throat. His hands ripped the bindings that covered her breasts and he shifted his attention to her erect nipples.

Misao moaned at the touch of his mouth on her breasts. She had never felt anything like this. Such a need for satisfaction, hunger for more eating her up. More he touched her, more she wanted him to.

His teethes played with her nipples and his other hand traced her skin from her back up her side until he reached her another breast and his calloused fingers felt the warm skin there. His another hand cupped her bottom. Misao could only pray that he would never stop.

\"Aoshi-sama...\" her voice was strange even to her own ears. Breathy, deep, full of desire and passion. She wanted more, needed more.

Aoshi gave a small sound, which was muffled against her breast, grabbed her and laid her down on the floor placing himself firmly on the top of her. Misao didn\'t resist at all, only enjoyed the feel of his closeness despite the coldness of the floor. He hastily removed his coat, shirt and the rest of his clothing all the time watching Misao\'s quickly rising and falling chest, her flushed face, closed eyes and open mouth. She was his to take.

Placing his hands firmly on her breasts, he started to trace her skin down to her waist and then took her pants of while his mouth moved along her skin with his undressing hands. Misao couldn\'t do anything, wanted to do nothing but feel him. Her own will had been removed just as surely as her clothes. Slowly she opened her passion-hazed eyes and found her stare fixed on the still figure on floor. Bloody figure of her surrogate grandfather. Then...

The pain as Aoshi filled her with himself. Took her.

She bit her lip to keep herself from screaming and her eyes closed to keep herself from crying out at the pain. Her lip broke at the pressure of her teethes and the coppery taste of blood filled her mouth. Aoshi moved within her and it hurt, but the pain was vanishing, being replaced by pleasure.

Misao opened slowly her eyes and looked once again at the still figure.
Pain and pleasure in her body.
Sorrow and joy in her heart.
Sinful feeling of excitement in her mind.
Emotions were all messed up in her and she forced her eyes away from the still body to the man moving in and above her. To the man who had given her more happiness and pleasure than anyone in the past, but who also had been the reason for her tears and pain.

Their eyes locked and she could see his need and passion in his eyes. Equal or greater than hers. His cheeks were flushed and sweat was glimmering on his skin. He buried his head in the angle of her neck and doing so, broke the eye contact they had had. The hold of his hands on her hips tightened as his thrusts became rougher.

At some point the pain had disappeared leaving only enjoyment for Misao to feel. Misao moaned in the pleasure of his movement and her back arched against him as she strained to be closer to him. Her whole being was reaching for something...something she had never felt. Pleasure intensified inside of her until it reached its peak and her whole body trembled against his as pleasure like nothing else filled her taking all of her strength.

She was hardly aware of Aoshi until warm liquid flowed inside of her causing her body shudder once more. And she somehow knew that he also had felt the satisfaction. The thought that she had given him pleasure warmed her.

Her breathing was heavy and the warmth of her loved ones body still on the top of her kept her secured. He filled all of her awareness. Calmness overtook her being and almost lulled her to fall asleep in the safety of Aoshi\'s arms.

\"What are you doing?\" A blaming voice of a dead and Misao\'s security and calmness disappeared. Her eyes shot open and widened in fear as her head turned towards the sound.

Okina was standing on his foots. His whole body was covered in blood and his eyes were bitch black. He was looking down at the couple.

\"I could have lived if you wouldn\'t have thought only of your beloved killer and his needs.\"

Misao shook her head in disbelief. *This is impossible...* Aoshi moved from on top of her to behind her as she sat up. His mouth gave her neck little kisses and bites while his hands moved lazily over her pale skin. He didn\'t seem to be aware of Okina.

\"If you would have took me to a doctor I would have survived.\"

More head shaking and a weak \'no\'. Aoshi held Misao close to him kissing cheek and neck lovingly.

Okina smiled a haughty smile. \"Oh yes. It is your fault that I died.\"

Misao shot up in her futon her heart beating franticly in her chest. Sweat was pouring all over her and her eyes were full of terror and fear. *Only a dream. Only a dream. Only a--* she breathed slowly in and out, trying to calm herself. *--dream. Jiya is still alive.*

Her body was easily calmed down, but her mind wasn\'t. That dream brought questions she didn\'t want to think about. *Would I really have done that? If he would have... Forgotten Jiya to...* Blush covered her face as she recalled the dream, remembered it in a detail. Suddenly with a start she realised what she was doing and shook her head to clear her mind.

*This is not a time to think about things like that. Aoshi-sama has joined forces with that mummy Shi-shi-o and turned his back on us. He even tried to kill Jiya.* She saw the scene had had witnessed after rushing into that hut. All the blood...
*Betrayed all of us.*
Remembered his words as he walked past her without even facing her. Without answering to her plea to know the reason.
*Betrayed me.*

She got to her foots with an effort. Through the window of her room she could see the beauty of a raising sun and sighed.

There would never be an end, there would never be correct answers. For the rest of her life she would be what she was now. A woman in love with a killer.


OWARI


~Tiian~

Oh bare graze misery
Just a child without a fairytale am I
Dark but so lovely
A Little Match Girl freezing in the snow
Bare Grace Misery
Nightwish