A Spirits watch

Title: A Sps Was Watch

Rating: NC-17

Warning: this story contains character death, rape, abuse, angst, darkness.

Authors notes: This is very different to your average story line as you may find out, I had always thought of writing a story on this plot, and only now did I get around to it. It is heavy and dark but please give it a chance.

Chapter one – stray of destiny

 

Saying it hurt I think would be an understatement. It REALY
hurt, I couldn’t do much to stop it, and now I am utterly confused,
I’m still here but I’m not here…confusing ha?

Well let me explain, you see only three day’s ago I
died; yes you heard me, died. I wasn’t expecting it; actually it was the
last thing I expected. I saw myself as too young to end, but apparently I
wasn̵

I guess you want to know how I died? Well it’s easy,
my life has always been dangerous, capturing the Clow cards, helping Sakura,
fighting powerful mages, all I defeated with help from my friends, but finally
I faced a danger I wasn’t ready for, a hunter, as they like to call
themselves.

A hunter is a powerful mage in one kind of way, yet very
different, they hold powers but the powers aren’t theirs, they feed of
others, they duel other powerful sorcerous and when or if they win they drain
the life essence out of the victim and absorb their power, then they are even
more powerful and find another mage to duel and beat.

Well one of these found me, they duelled me and I lost,
it’s as simple as that. They took my powers and life and I died, now I am
nothing but a spirit, I can travel through walls and other solid objects, I
watched my friends and family mourn over my body, and trust me, looking down at
your own lifeless body is rather scary epically if you haven’t quite come
to terms that your dead.

Anyway, I watched as everyone I knew and loved mourned for
me, they buried me in the family cemetery at home, I watched Sakura, my cherry
blossom cry for me, her eyes red, Tomoyo her best friend hugged her and tried
so desperate to stay strong, but I watched late at night in her room she would
cry with no one to comfort her.

My mother, shed no tears for me, as was expected, she was
sad though that was obvious, my sisters where in tears hugging each other. It
made me sad, I wanted to tell them I was okay, that I was still with them, but
they couldn’t see or hear me.

I settled on watching over them, I didn’t understand
why I was condemned to walk the earth as a spirit, why no normal\'>‘light’ as they call it came to take me to the gates of
heaven.

But soon I grew use to it,  I began to enjoy watching people, spying
if you wish to call it, no one judging me on what I did, no one I needed to
impress, I was free to do what I liked as I liked. It was pure bliss, sure I
felt bad for leaving everyone, for being so weak that I allowed a mere hunter
to destroy me, but now I just don’t give a damn, I really don’t.

Hunters have always been around, they are us magical
people’s enemies, Sakura didn’t even know of their existence until
that fateful day of my death.

I hate to have hurt her, but right now I was happy, content
on watching them.

And that’s what I am doing right now, it’s been
almost three months since my death and I am watching Sakura, she is crying into
Tomoyo’s shoulder, saying if she had been there she may have saved me,
ever since my death I haven’t seen her smile, she has been gloomy her
usual spark of happiness gone.

Tomoyo was soothing back her hair as she whispered
comforting words into Sakura’s ear, she rocked back and forth settling
the girl until she was in silent sob’s, her tears long since stopped as
she clung to Tomoyo’s waist like her life line.

“I cant go on Tomoyo, I miss him so much…at
school it hurts to see his chair empty, hurts to pick up the phone and then
remember I can no longer talk to him” Tomoyo nodded, I watched as she
pulled Sakura back so she could look to her face and emerald eyes.

“He has never left us Sakura, he is in our hearts and
memory, he would not wish to see you upset, he would wish for you to move
on”

Would I? Yes of course I would, Sakura should not hold her
self back on my account, she should move on in life, find another happiness to
hold onto, I hate seeing her upset for me when I myself am not.

I watched as Sakura nodded, brushing back her tears with the
back of her hand. So many times Tomoyo had said those words to her, and yet so
many times Sakura would fall back into her tears.

“I loved him Tomoyo…I can never move on”
these words truly hurt, she loved me, this I knew, we had been dating for
almost a year, Tomoyo nodded, her eyes were sad it seemed like she too were
close to tears.

I felt sadness again, how couldn’t I, watching two of
my closest friends in pain over me, my girlfriend without smiles
everyday…I hated it.

But that’s when I was surprised, to my shock I watched
as Tomoyo leaned forward, she hesitated, her eyes searching Sakura’s and
then it was Sakura who closed the gap, pushing her lips to the other girls.

Their arms held tight to one another, Tomoyo was slowly
pushing Sakura back until she was lying on the bed, they were slow and hesitate
in their moving, but I soon realised what had happened, Tomoyo had replaced me,
she offered Sakura love, and Sakura took it.

I turned my head from them, this was not right, I should not
be watching this display of actions, I know they cannot see me but I can see
them, I heard a moan from Sakura, and unwillingly my eyes glanced back, Tomoyo
was trailing kisses along Sakura’s neck, her hands had moved under the
shirt she wore and were now moving up and under the bra. Sakura’s arms
were moving also under the shirt to unclasp the lace bra her friend wore.

I should not be watching this, I turned and without glancing
back I walked through the wall, I made my way out of the house unable to stand
knowing what was happening in the room. My Sakura and Tomoyo, MY Sakura…I
shook my head I know I must allow this, but it seemed too quick.

I was angered and I didn’t understand why, I should be
happy that Sakura has found another, I should be happy that Sakura has another
chance to move on, to have a life, to be loved. But I felt jealousy and rage,
how could Tomoyo do this to me? How could she betray me like this? How could
she use Sakura’s weakened state against her like this?

I left the house and now stood at the open street, my gaze
back to the house, the window that I knew was Sakura’s room my my
mind’s eyes I saw their tangled arms and legs, I heard their moans I
witnessed their caresses, their touches of passion. How could they do this to
me?

I know I wanted Sakura to move on, to be happy but for
reasons unknown to me I was not happy, this angered me beyond belief, I trusted
Tomoyo, I trusted Sakura, and yet there they were, in that very house I had
first asked Sakura out in, the very house I had first showed Sakura the small
touches of passion, the very house I had told her over and over again how much
I loved her, that very house my girlfriend and best friend where making love,
were pleasuring each other with touches.

My fists were balled as I took my glare off the window,
their was noting I could do, and I knew that, Sakura disserved this, and these
words I continued to tell myself, she no longer needs me, I may as well leave
her to her newly found love, it would only hurt me to watch them, to watch her.

I walked down the street in directions I no longer cared
about, I just walked, my eyes on the ground, there was no sound as my feet hit
the concrete ground, as I walked through the park over twigs and leaves, to
others I may not even be here, I had or was meant
to have parted to the spirit world, but I didn’t, why? Why hadn’t I
past on? Was there something I was meant to do? Someone I was meant to help?
Talk to? Some unfinished business I had not completed?

I stopped walking and looked up at the sky, the stars where
bright like fireflies, the moon was full and white casting a glow over the
world.ouldould feel tears as I watched it silently cross the sky, it was moving
I knew it was, but it was moving at such a slow pace that I did not see it.

“Kid, hey kid, what’s up with you?” I
looked over to the voice and found a elderly man looking at me, close to the
age of eighty most likely, he was wrinkled all over, he wore a brown knitted
jumper with long pants he had grey hair with the hint of brown his hair was
long and shoulder length, much different to my traditional Japanese fighting
outfit, the green suite and white pants, the golden bells hanging of the long
sleeves with the small green slippers that covered my feet, my hair messy as
always falling over my honey brown eyes.

He gestured for me to come over to him, but I
couldn’t, I couldn’t move, this man saw me? But how? I’m
dead; I’m nothing but a wondering spirit-ghost in my mortal bodies form.

H seemed to read my mind as he laughed such a delicate but
elderly laugh. He smiled to me, his eyes twinkling with the reflection of the
moon in it.

“Yes I can see you, I have always been able to see
your kind” he stated, he again gestured for me to move over to him, and I
did, I slowly walked over to him.

“Ahh, so young” he
said as he eyed me, “So, so young, and beautiful” I blushed, I
could feel it, the blood – if I had any – rushed to my face, he
laughed againseeiseeing my discomfort, “I did not mean to embarrass you
young one, I was merely speaking on what I saw, forgive an old man for his
words, but I have not seen beauty such as yours, your eyes matching your hair
so perfectly, they dazzle me, and I am old, I have seen a lot of beauties in my
life, but you top them all.

Again I blushed as I stopped just near him, now looking him
over, yes he was around the age of eighty, dying, he was dying…cancer,
cancer in the lungs…how I know this I can not tell, but I had the
feeling, I just…‘knew’
it could be a power that comes with my outer body life or it could just be
something I had developed long ago and not come to realise it.

He was smiling at me, “You are new” he said, his
smile unfading; in fact it grew as he eyed me again.

I nodded, that was all I could do, I had not spoken to
anyone in three months, I had been alone for so long, just watching, a spirit
watcher.

He looked away from me and craned back to see the sky, his
face his gestures were so childlike, it was obvious he enjoyed life.

“I don’t see many your age, not many at all, its
sad to see young ones, you were seventeen, am I correct?” he looked back
to me, there was sadness in his eyes, I nodded.

He laughed “You can speak to me, I can hear you”
he said with amusement, and so I did, for three months I finally spoke, not
just to myself or to someone who could not hear me, but to someone who style=\'mso-bidi-font-style:normal\'>‘would’ hear me and respond
to my words and questions.

“How can you see me?” was the first question, he
smiled, his twinkle reappearing in his eyes, he seemed too childlike, it made
me curious of his life, of him.

“I have always seen spirits such as yourself, ever
since I was a young lad, I don’t know how, but I think I know why”
he stated, he stopped and looked at me, I was now even more curios then before.

“Why? Why can you see me?” he smiled, expecting
that question, “So I can help, So I can help you move on” he stated
with wisdom.

I was drawn in straight away, help me? This is what I
wanted, I wanted, no, ‘needed’
help.

“Please do” I said, no, begged. I had enough of
watching the mortal life, my friends, I did not wish to watch them grow old.

“Why? Why did I not move on?” the man smiled
friendly to me, “Because it was not your time, your destiny to die when
you had. You have not ‘moved on’ so you call it because it was not
your time to, you must wait, and as you wait you must watch over people, you
must allow their new destinies to play out.”

That’s it? That’s why I was here? Because it was
not my time? But what was I to do? How can I help those around me? How could I
do anything?

The man smiled, again seeming like he had read my mind
“You watch them, if you do not keep your self busy until your time comes
you may fall into insanity and then you will miss your ride to heavens gates,
you could be drawn to the dark spirits who lost their sanity” this news
scared me.

My sanity? Dark spirits? Miss my ride?

He smiled to me reassuringly, “You can help people
around you, you must have already discovered my fate? Felt it in some
way?” I could only nod.

“Yes…you have cancer of the lung” I said
and he smiled with a nod “Yes, these ‘powers’
as you may like to call them are born when your mortal body dies, you will
learn from them, you can help people through them” I was coed, ed, I
didn’t understand, everything was happening so fast.

“But how?” I asked and he smiled sweetly as he
studied me, “You are beautiful, and you will be with another beauty,
beauty with beauty” he said, before looking back to the moon. His words
confused me but he soon continued.

“You will find you have more then this, not only will
you be able to feel the condition of the people around you, but you will be
able to look into their soul, you will in time, be able to move objects with
your mind, send telepathic thoughts to others” he said as he looked back
to me, I was stunned, I could do all this? I now carried all this power because
I had died?

“You must learn to harness this magic to protect those
who are not meant to die, there are dark spirits, dark entities out their that wish
to change destiny as one had done for you, they wish to cause mayhem over
lives, and you and those who had died because of this are kept in the mortal
world to prevent this.”

I was watching him with shock, before I finally found my
voice “Bu…but how will I know…how will I know if it is their
time?” I asked, he smiled gently at me.

“As you knew of my destiny, to die of cancer, you will
know of those who are not yet meant to die, there are many spirits like you
wandering, protecting mortals from the dark spirits, keeping destiny
intact” this time I frowned.

“Why was I not saved? Why had no spirit saved me from
straying from destiny” to this he shrugged, “You can not expect all
to be saved, there are so few of those who are turned from destiny, very few that
take up the purpose to help others from the same fate” I found myself
understanding him.

He smiled at me, “You must help your friends, you are
now bound to them, all those who were close to you are now bound to your
protection” I nodded, I felt again a purpose.

But I found a question tugging at me “But when is it
my turn to leave? What happens to those in my charge when I leave?” I
asked, he laughed as he shook his head, “Your time will let itself known,
you will feel it, as for your charges, they will once again be left to fend for
themselves. But do not worry for them, another may take your place, or you may
choose to stay, to help them and their children and their children” I
nodded, the man smiled as he looked at me.

“You are so young, so beautiful, and I know your
friends and family are in the right hands” and with that he turned and
left me, I watched him leave, I meant to call out to him, I had another
question, but he was gone.

How will I know if one is in danger of straying from
destiny?

 

TBC…