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Nightmares and Dreams	By : Mabis Category: Digimon > General Views: 1338 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon: Digital Monsters, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Nightmares and Dreams
- 1
    Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon, Toei Animation
does. I merely have fun with the characters. ^^

    Warning: This fic contains shounen ai, (boy x boy
love) and eventually explicit sex. The pairing is Joushirou,
and sprinkled with mentions of Taito. If that is a problem, leave
now and save everyone some grief.

Nightmares and Dreams
By: Mabis
    Kido Jou sat at a table in the college cafeteria,
waiting for his best friend Izumi Koushirou to arrive. As he was waiting,
he decided to start eating his lunch, and pulled out the brown bag lunch
he had almost every school day.
    It had been eleven years since their first Digimon
adventure, and eight years since the second adventure. They were now both
in college; Koushirou was a third year student at Tokyo University, while
Jou was a fifth year student at Tokyo University's medical school.
    "Hey, Jou, sorry I'm late. I had to meet with the
professor after class."
    Jou looked up and saw Koushirou walking over towards
him. Koushirou had grown slightly in the past eight years, but he still
was short for his age. He had also grown out his hair, almost to the same
length as before he first cut it. Jou, on the other hand, looked about
the same as he always had, except now he was 23.
    "Don't worry about it," Jou said, "I only got here
a few minutes ago myself."
    Koushirou sat down and pulled out his own brown bag
lunch. "So, did you hear," he said as he pulled out a sandwich, "Mimi's
now an official US cen. en. Taichi told me about it yesterday."
    "Oh really?" Jou replied, "I guess that means she
won't be moving back to Japan any time soon."
    "Yeah. She seems pretty happy there, or at least,
Taichi said she was."
    Jou and Koushirou were once fairly close to Mimi,
but had drifted considerably after she had moved to the US. Jou couldn't
remember the last time he had an actual conversation with her.
    "So, how is Taichi, anyway? I haven't talked to him
or Yamato in a while." Jou asked. Taichi went to a different college then
they did, the same one as Yamato. Usually he heard from them every few
days, but school had kept him busy recently.
    "Well," Koushirou replied, "Yamato wants to get another
band together, but Taichi isn't very crazy about the idea."
    Yamato's first band had lasted a few years before
eventually breaking up, as most bands do. It wasn't much later that Yamato
broke up with Sora, while still remaining friends. The biggest shock came
less than a year after that, when Yamato and Taichi became a couple. Jou
was indeed a little surprised by the way things played out, but was glad
the two were happy together.
    "Well, knowing those two, I'm sure they'll work it
out."
    "Taichi also said that Sora was planning on taking
a week off and visiting Mimi, probably sometime next month."
    Despite the long distance, Sora and Mimi were still
good friends and usually managed to see each other at least once a year.
Jou could only imagine the price of all those plane tickets.
    "When's the last time Mimi came over to Japan?" Jou
asked. "It seems like Sora has been the one going over to the US recently."
    "Not for a while, anyway," Koushiru replied, "But
remember, Mimi was the one that was always visiting us when she first moved
to America."
    "True enough, it's just that the rest of us haven't
seen her in so long."
    As the two continued talking, Jou couldn't help but
think about everything that had changed throughout the years. He and Koushirou
had become best friends, Taichi and Yamato had become lovers, and Mimi
had just about fallen off the face of the earth. Jou figured that this
sort of thing was inevitable, and indeed, Koushirou and himself had become
better friends even before the second Digimon adventure. Even the younger
kids had changed. Takeru, Hikari, and all the others were now in high school,
and Miyako was even in college. For a moment, Jou felt himself wondering
where all the years had gone.
    "Well, I should probably get going," Koushirou said,
finishing off the last of his coke, "I'll call you later tonight."
    "Okay, be sure to have fun in class," Jou said with
a touch of sarcasm as his friend got up to leave.
    As he watched his best friend leave, Jou got a strange
feeling. He couldn't explain it, but as it was gone as soon as it came,
he dismissed it as nothing more than nostalgia and quickly left for his
own class.

*    *    *
    A month had gone by, and Jou had just returned from
Sora's apartment. He, Koushirou, and the rest of the Chosen Children had
come over for a get together before Sora and Miyako, who had convinced
her parents to let her go, headed off to America the next morning. His
mind was a complete mess. So many things were going through his mind, all
he wanted to do was lie down on his bed and hope that sleep would quiet
the noise. Unfortunately, as soon as his head hit the pillow, his mind
started racing twice as fast.
    It all started a month ago, or maybe earlier, he
wasn't quite sure. He started looking at Koushirou, his best friend, a
little differently than usual. He started looking at his features, his
hair, his face, the way he dressed. He started wanting to spend more and
more time with him, and started missing him when he wasn't around.
    Tonight had been the worst of it, however. He caught
a glance of Taichi and Yamato about ready to swallow each other through
the barely open bathroom door. Jou had only seen the lovers give each other
quick kisses, certainly never anything this intense before. Yet, instead
of feeling a little nauseous, as he would imagine he would feel at such
displays of affection that are meant only for the people involved, he imagined
doing the same thing with Koushirou.
    That immediately made him freak, and he remained
incoherent for several minutes. Luckily, everyone around him didn't notice
his behavior, and he especially felt lucky that Koushirou didn't look in
his direction during his moment of confusion. He spent the rest of the
night in a daze, unable to think clearly. At one point, Koushirou had even
asked him if anything was wrong.
    Yes, something is very wrong, Jou thought to himself
as he recalled the night's activities. He thanked everything that was holy
that he was able to give Koushirou a coherent reply. He had told him that
he was merely tired, gra gratefully, Koushirou had accepted the answer,
even going on about how tired he was feeling that night himself.
    If Jou knew any better, he would have said he was
in love with Koushirou.
    That can't be possible, Jou thought to himself. There's
no way on this planet that I could ever possibly fall in love with Koushirou.
He's my best friend. We tell each other everything. Not to mention he's
also of the same gender, which would mean that I was gay.
    Jou froze on the word gay. He never really thought
of it like that, he was mainly concerned with his feelings for Koushirou.
He never realized what the implications of those feelings meant. It meant
that he was gay. Jou certainly didn't want to think about just how bad
the consequences of being gay were; he was having enough trouble struggling
with how he felt towards Koushirou. Being labeled a freak wouldn't help
any.
    Regardless of all that, however, Jou could not deny
that he felt something for Koushirou, something stronger than just mere
friendship. Jou was indeed in love with Koushirou, and that meant he had
to accept that he was gay, even if the thought of it scared the living
hell out of him.
    He lay there, staring at the ceiling. He was going
to have lunch with Koushirou again the next day. He had to act like nothing
was up. It wouldn't be easy, but he had to. Koushirou had never given the
slightest hint that he liked Jou in any other way except friendship, and
besides, Jou thought, there wasn't any real chance he was gay. If he told
Koushirou that he was in love with him, or even gave enough hints for Koushirou
to figure it out, their friendship would most likely be ruined. Jou could
only imagine the awkwardness and discomfort for Koushirou, not to mention
for himself, if he ever found out.
    He wished Gomamon was there, if anything just so
he could tell someone about his problem, but he hadn't seen his digimon
partner in years. Of course, knowing the ever-playful digimon, Gomamon
probably would've told Jou to quit moping around and do something about
it; in other words, tell Koushirou how he felt. Maybe it was a good thing
that Gomamon wasn't around.
    Jou let out a rather large sigh. Being best friends
with Koushirou was good enough, right? They had become rather close through
the years, and Jou was truly happy with their friendship. Why ruin it all
by telling him how he really felt?
    He turned around, feeling only somewhat comforted
by his resolution. Beyond all the fear and doubt, he still hoped that Koushirou
felt the same way about him. It seemed almost impossible, yet Jou still
held on to that tiny bit of hope.
    As he felt himself finally surrender to sleep, Jou
thought that maybe, just maybe, anything was possible.

*    *    *
    As Jou ate lunch with Koushirou in the cafeteria
the next day, he paid careful attention to his actions and words, but also
to any possible hint that Koushirou might also share the same feelings.
    "So," Koushirou said as he bit into his lunch, "Did
Sora and Miyako make it off okay?"
    "I think so," Jou replied, "I'm actually a little
surprised Mo wao was able to convince her parents to let her go at the
last minute."
    "Yeah, that was a little unexpected, but then again,
Miyako hasn't seen Mimi in a few years, and they are fairly good friends."
    "True enough, so I guess it was going to happen sooner
or later."
    As Koushirou started talking about what was happening
in his computer club, Jou caught himself admiring how the sunlight from
the windows illuminated Koushirou's auburn hair. Jou scolded himself for
letting his mind wander like that, and tried to focus on what Koushirou
was saying.
    "And then I started talking to this girl Keiko, who's
also in my computer club," Koushirou said as Jou snapped back to reality.
"She's really outgoing, and also kinda cute."
    Jou immediately got tripped up at that last word.
Cute. He called a girl cute. True, they had often talked about girls before,
but this time, it seemed like another nail in the coffin. Jou let out a
mental sigh, deciding that he was reading way too much in what his friend
said, and began listening to Koushirou once more.
    "She said that I would make a good candidate for
the club's elections next month. I told her I'd think about it, but I'm
not so sure if I want to run."
    Jou almost let out a gasp at what Koushirou just
said. A girl, who Koushirou thought was cute, had just given him an unsolicited
complement. That usually meant something. Jou was about to delve even further
into whatever horrible consequences he thought that meant when he chastised
himself for his irrational thinking.
    I can't believe you're acting like this, Jou thought
to himself. Of course he's going to interact with other girls. Hell, I
even think he'd make a good president of the computer club. Why am I suddenly
reading life stories into Koushirou's words, when he himself doesn't give
them a second thought? I have got to stop doing this, otherwise I'll turn
into a complete nervous wreck. Or, even worse, Koushirou will start wondering
if anything's wrong.
    Jou paid even greater attention to Koushirou, and
was quite relived that the rest of their lunch went off without a hitch.
Deciding he needed some time to think, Jou came up with an excuse to not
see him the next day, a Saturday, and the two agreed to meet at Koushirou's
apartment on Sunday. Maybe then Jou would have calmed down a bit, and have
stopped overanalyzing everything Koushirou said and did.

*   *   *
    Jou spent all of Saturday trying to sort out his
feelings for Koushirou. He honestly had no idea what he was going to do.
If he kept up what he was doing now, namely letting his mind run wild with
thoughts of Koushirou and trying rather unsuccessfully to figure out what
he might be thinking, he'd be a mental wreck in no time. There were only
two other things Jou could think of doing. He could either try his hardest
to forget about his feelings and move on, or else tell Koushirou how he
felt. Neither one of those options gave Jou much comfort, and the thought
of telling Koushirou flat out scared him. Of course, tucking away his feelings
in some far off corner of his mind never to be found again hardly seemed
likely, either.
    Sunday was only a little better for Jou. They had
spent the day looking for computer parts for Jou's computer, as his was
taking a turn for the worst. It was good that Jou had other things to keep
his mind occupied, yet he still found himself overanalyzing truly insignificant
details. He also spent much of the day thinking about what he was eventually
going to do about the whole mess; or not do, for that matter.
    You're obsessing, Jou thought to himself as he walked
home, just calm down, and let this whole thing cool off before you do anything
you'll regret later. He resolved to focus on something else for the next
few days, his upcoming research paper would be a good candidate, and let
the initial rush of what was happening wear off before deciding what to
do next. That seemed like a reasonable course of action, and Jou figured
he'd start regaining sanity in a few weeks at most.
    Jou did manage to gain some sanity, but in return
found himself routinely depressed. Instead of overanalyzing every little
thing Koushirou did, which would always result in anxiety, Jou found himself
with a sense of longing for his best friend. He would often spend several
moments doing nothing but thinking how beautiful he was, or how much he
loved him. Knowing that Koushirou would most likely never return the feelings
Jou had proven to be quite painful. More than once Jou found himself crying
when thinking about the one he loved. There were days when he wished for
nothing else to be rid of the feelings he had for Koushirou, but yet he
found himself longing for him even more.
    Perhaps I should just tell him, Jou thought to himself
one day after another bout of tears. After all, there is the possibility
that he loves me back.
    But what if Koushirou didn't love him back?
    It was the thought that had kept Jou telling Koushirou
ever since he realized he loved him. He could only imagine the uneasiness
that might result if he told his best friend. In fact, Jou would be surprised
if Koushirou didn't flat out hate him afterwards.
    Jou let out a long sigh. Instead of getting better,
as he hoped it would, the problem was only getting worse. Who knew how
bad it would get? At least by telling Koushirou, he wouldn't be keeping
these feelings inside any longer.
    Perhaps Jou was feeling particularly brave that moment,
or maybe he just needed to do something to relive the pain, but whatever
it was, Jou picked up the phone and dialed Koushirou's number.
    "Hey, Koushirou? Can I come over? I have something
very important I have to tell you."

*    *    *
    Jou was tempted to turn around and go back several
times before he finally reached Koushirou's apartment. His stomach was
in knots, and his mind was racing. He was finally going to tell Koushirou
how he felt. And to think, it only took two months.
    As with most college students, Koushirou still lived
with his parents, and they welcomed Jou when he finally entered the apartment.
Jou was hoping for some privacy, but figured they wouldn't be able to hear
what would be happening in Koushirou's room.
    "So, Jou, what's up?" Koushirou said as he settled
himself in his desk chair.
    Jou, who remained standing, took a very deep breath.
His eyes remained on the floor, unable too look at the one he loved. "There's
something I really need to tell you."
    Koushirou immediately frowned, and asked, "What's
wrong, Jou? You seem awfully upset."
    Jou took another long breath, before finally continuing.
"Koushirou, I can understand if you hate me after this, but I really need
to tell you." He paused for another moment, building up his courage, before
finally letting it out, "Koushirou, I love you."
    Silence filled the room as soon as the words left
Jou's lips. It was a heavy silence, one that Jou had prayed he would not
hear. He looked up to catch a glance of Koushirou, and saw a look of total
shock on his best friend's face. Jou's worst nightmare had come true.
    Koushirou did not love him back.
    "I'm sorry, I knew I shouldn't of told you," Jou
mumbled as he returned his eyes to the floor, feeling the tears roll down
his face.
    "Nononono, don't be sorry," Koushirou said, finally
getting to his feet, "I'm glad you told me."
    "I can understand if you don't want to see me anymore."
Jou began crying harder, and the tears were now dripping off his chin.
    He felt a hand on his shoulder. "It's okay," a comforting
voice said, "I know this is difficult. I'll do everything I can to help
you through this. We're still best friends, right?"
    Jou looked up, and saw Koushirou's concerned face.
His worst nightmare had not come true after all; he still had his best
friend.
    "Thank you," Jou said, almost whispering, "I'm glad
we're still friends. I was convinced you'd hate me afterwards."
    "It would take a lot more for me to start hating
you, Jou," Koushirou said, smiling.
    Jou smiled in return, already feeling the tears dry.
Perhaps it really would be all right. In fact, when he left later that
night, after Koushirou showed him his latest feat in computer programming,
Jou felt reasonably optimistic about the future.

*     *     *
    Despite Koushirou's promise to the contrary, Jou
saw that their friendship had indeed changed since he disclosed his feelings.
It was a gradual thing, barely noticeable at first, but eventually it was
obvious that they were no longer as close as they were before. Koushirou
seemed less open to him, a sure sign that he was uncomfortable with the
recent events. On top of all that, the words 'Help you through this' uttered
by Koushirou that night regularly plagued Jou. Koushirou sounded as if
this whole thing would blow over soon enough, like this was just a phase.
For the life of him Jou wished that were true, but it wasn't. What Jou
felt for his best friend was much, much more than a phase, and would never
truly go away, no matter how much he wanted it to.
    Jou tried his hardest to be the same friend as he
was before, never making even the slightest advances towards his friend,
but Koushirou continued to pull away. Deep down Jou knew this would happen,
despite his hopes otherwise.
    This became painfully clear one day while Jou was
waiting for Koushirou at lunch. He waited for almost an hour, but his friend
never showed up, nor did he call him up that evening, explaining why he
wasn't there. Jou figured Koushirou was feeling especially resentful to
warrant such avoidance.
    I knew he would eventually avoid me, Jou thought
as he lay in bed that night. He probably no longer feels comfortable around
me, if he doesn't flat out hate me. Why did I ever tell him I loved him?
The only thing it did was drive Koushirou away. Now I'll probably loose
his friendship as well.
    Jou felt tears stream down his face, and wondered
if he'd ever get through this. He wished more than anything that he could
just stop loving Koushirou, and return things to the way they were before.
That wasn't possible, however, for as much as he tried, Jou could not push
away the feelings he had for his friend.
    He wished Gomamon was still with him. His feisty
digimontnertner would never abandon him, and would always try to offer
support or advice, or at least listen while Jou went on about his problems.
Of course, Jou hadn't seen Gomamon since the second digimon adventure,
and now that he was an adult, he couldn't go back to the digital world,
no matter how much he wanted to. Jou sighed, thinking about his digimon
pal. He had always missed the little seal-like creature, but now his absence
was especially felt.
    He began thinking about Yamato and Taichi, and about
how relatively easy it was for them to get together. Taichi didn't fall
in love with Yamato until after the latter broke up with Sora, so that
right there made things easier. Being the ever-forward Taichi, he just
went up to the blonde haired musician one day shortly after he realized
his feelings and told him. In return, Yamato responded by giving Taichi
a rather long kiss on the lips.
    Why couldn't it be that simple for me, Jou thought,
why is it that I, along with Koushirou, had to go through all this grief?
Why is it that I had to fall in love with my best friend? It just wasn't
fair, but then again, rarely was life ever fair.
    Jou sighed once more, tired from thinking so much.
As he drifted off to sleep, he wondered if he would ever be truly happy.
*&nb*    *    *
    Jou did see Koushirou the next day, but only by chance.
Koushirou apologized for the lack of communication, saying he was really
busy with school, but Jou could tell that both of them knew what the real
reason was. Koushirou agreed to meet for lunch the day after tomorrow,
but as they departed, Jou wondered if he really did intend to be there.
    Koushirou did meet Jou for lunch, but Jou almost
wished they hadn't. He could feel the tension in the air, and the conversation
between them was strained. Jou wondered if this really was the end of the
close friendship he had with Koushirou, and began thinking that breaking
it off all together might just be for the better.
    Koushirou beat him to it, however.
    "Jou," Koushirou said as they were getting ready
to leave, "I think we both know that things aren't the way they used to
be." He paused for a moment, but Jou already knew what was coming next.
"I think we should stoeingeing each other for a few days," Koushirou finally
continued, hurrying to end the awkward moment. "It's not that I don't want
to see you anymore, it's just that I think we need some time apart. And
we can eventually see each other again, it's not like this is forever."
    "Yeah, okay, I understand," Jou mumbled, not wanting
to look at Koushirou's face. He knew just how bad things were between them,
and he figured 'some time' would eventually mean forever, despite what
Koushirou said. Jou had just lost his best friend, and it hurt more than
he ever imagined it could.
    Koushirou said something about wishing him well and
seeing him later, but Jou wasn't listening. He was too busy trying to hold
back the tears. As soon as Koushirou left, Jou hurried to the nearest empty
men's room, locked the door, and let the now familiar tears roll down his
face.

*    *    *
    Jou spent the next week in deep depression, often
crying himself to sleep. He had lost everything, all because he was cursed
to fall in love with his best friend. The thought of talking to Taichi
or Yamato crossed his mind, but decided against it, figuring they wouldn't
fully understand what kind of pain he was going through. Love came too
easy for them, for they never felt the sting of one-sided love or the pain
of losing a best friend.
    That weekend Jou found himself home alone. His parents
had gone away to a conference for the weekend, and Shin and Shuu had long
since moved out, leaving the apartment to himself. He was glad for the
time alone, especially since he hadn't told his parents a thing about what
was happening with Koushirou. For all they knew, they were still just best
friends, and Jou planned on keeping it that way, or at least until he had
to give some false excuse as to why Koushirou no longer came over.
    He spent Friday night studying, and was relived that
his books remained dry that night; too often they were getting water stains
from the tears that fell from Jou's face. He did not leave the apartment
on Saturday, but rather did everything he could to keep himself busy so
that he wouldn't have to dwell on his depression. As a result, Jou had
never seen the apartment so clean in his life.
    Unfortunately, that left Jou with nothing to do on
Saturday night. He was about to pick out a book to focus his attention
on when he heard the doorbell.
    As he went to the door, Jou wondered who that could
be. He wasn't expecting anyone, and his parents weren't supposed to get
back until late Sunday night.
    Jou was utterly stunned to find Koushirou standing
at his door.
    "Um, Hi, Jou, can come in?" Koushirou asked, looking
more than a little nervous.
    Jou was silent for a moment as he tried to get over
his shock. Finally, he managed to blurt out, "Uh, Yeah, come in. I'm home
alone for the weekend, so it'll be just us. Can I get you anything?"
    Koushirou shook his head as he came in, and the two
settled on the couch in the living room. Jou was about to ask why Koushirou
came over, when Koushirou spoke.
    "Jou, I really have to tell you something."
    Jou looked at his friend, and saw that Koushirou
was even more nervous when he was at the front door. He wasn't sure if
this was a good thing or a bad thing.
    "I know things have been strained between us," Koushirou
continued, "And I'm mostly responsible for it getting so bad. I'm really
sorry for that. It's just that I was confused and didn't know what to do."
He paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "Jou, I love you. I'm sorry
it took so long for me to finally realize this, but I love you."
    Jou sat there, completely dumbfounded. He could hardly
let himself believe it. Koushirou loved him. Koushirou actually, truly
loved him.
    "Jou, are you all right?" Koushirou came over and
sat next to Jou, looking concerned, "Jou?"
    Jou turned to look at Koushirou. "You have no idea
how much I've been wanting to hear you say that," he finally whispered.
He then leaned over and kissed the auburn haired youth gently on the lips,
savoring the moment before finally drawing back.
    Koushirou sat there for a moment, as if absorbing
everything that just happened.
    "Don't worry, I still love you," Jou replied, smiling.
He leaned over and gave him another kiss, this time a little harder, and
a little longer.
    "I'm so glad you still love me," Koushirou said after
their lips parted, "I was afraid you had-"
    "I never stopped loving you, even when things were
at their worst." Jou said, cutting him off. "And I promise that I will
always love you, no matter what happens."
    Koushirou was visibly touched by what Jou had said,
and was silent for a moment before replying, "Jou, I promise to always
love you, too." He leaned over, and gave the blue haired boy a rather long
kiss, before finally pulling away, a little devilish glint in his eyes.
    "Let's go to your room," he said, with a grin on
his face.
    "Are you sure you want to?" Jou asked, a little surprised
that Koushirou would propose doing something of that nature so soon.
    "Jou, there's a reason I picked the day your parents
weren't home to come over. Yes, I'm sure."
    Jou wondered for a moment how he managed to find
that out, but quickly pushed it aside. There were more important things
to think about, such as this new, bolder side of Koushirou. Jou didn't
mind it, but it would make things just a little bit more interesting.
    When they got to Jou's room, he gently laid Koushirou
on the bed. He had been waiting for this moment for so long, yet he knew
he shouldn't rush things. He leaned over and gave his lover a kiss, allowing
their lips to part, and gently slid his tongue into the younger boy's mouth.
    While they kissed, Jou let his hands slowly unbutton
Koushirou's shirt. When his lover's chest was bare, he pulled away from
the kiss, and started nibbling on his neck. He slowly made his way downwards,
stopping at one of Koushirou's nipples, tickling it lightly with his tongue.
He heard a small gasp of pleasure, and continued downwards, nibbling lightly
at his lover's skin.
    Jou stopped right before Koushirou's pants, and rather
remove them, removed his own shirt. Koushirou took this opportunity to
completely take off his own shirt, and after some quick handiwork on both
parts, they were soon naked.
    "I never realized how beautiful you were," Jou said
as he looked down at the auburn haired boy.
    "I could say the same thing about you, but let's
get going," Koushirou responded, with a grin on his face.
    Jou gave out a chuckle, and gave the auburn haired
boy another long kiss. He was again mildly surprised at Koushirou's eagerness,
but then again, hadn't they both been waiting too long for this?
    Jou eventually broke off the kiss, and reached for
the tube of lotion he had got on the way to the bedroom. He poured a generous
amount on his finger, and ever so gently slid the finger inside Koushirou.
He felt muscles tightening at the intrusion, but continued, lubricating
the skin and eventually finding the spot he was searching for. Koushirou
gasped louder as the new feelings of pleasure came over him. Jou, satisfied
that he would not be hurting Koushirou, removed his finger, and poured
some more lotion onto his hand. He rubbed the lotion over his erection,
again making sure that it was slick enough.
    "Are you ready?" Jou asked as he positioned himself
straddling over Koushirou's hips, "It will hurt a little."
    "I've been ready," Koushirou replied, the mischievous
smile returning to his face. "Now hurry it up."
    Jou smiled, and gently entered Koushirou. The younger
boy gasped at the pain, and Jou could feel the muscles tighten around him
even more. He went forward, however, and soon reached the same desired
spot, hearing a loud groan from his lover as he felt the muscles loosen
around him.
    Jou began moving in and out of Koushirou, each time
stroking his insides, hearing groans of pleasure with every passing. He
felt his own body getting consumed with pleasure, slowly rising to his
climax with every thrust.
    Jou looked down at Koushirou, and was struck again
by the auburiredired youth's beauty. He looked so peaceful lying there,
so content, like nothing else mattered in the world except them. His eyes
were closed, his body lost in the pleasures Jou was giving him. Jou gently
kissed his lips, and heard Koushirou whisper his name when they parted.
He smiled, as it meant so much to him to see Koushirou so happy and enjoying
the moment so much.
    He eventually heard the sharp cry as Koushirou reached
his orgasm, and felt the muscles spasm as they tightened around him. Jou
followed with his own orgasm, and released his seed deep within his lover.
    Jou collapsed from exhaustion onto Koushirou's chest,
letting himself rest there for several minutes before finally pulling out.
He laid down next to Koushirou, and almost immediately, the younger boy
curled up next to him, his head on Jou's chest.
    Jou put his arm around him, holding him close. It
was hard to describe what Jou was feeling right now. Complete happiness
was the closest he could come up with, but even that didn't quite encompass
what he was feeling.
    "So, how was it?"
    Jou looked at Koushirou. "It was wonderful," he said
as he gave him a kiss on the forehead. "And you?"
    "It was better than I imagined it would be," Koushirou
replied, snuggling closer to Jou. The two lay there for a moment, when
Koushirou again broke the silence.
    "Jou, I think, I need to tell you something," he
said, hesitating a bit.
    "What is it?" Jou asked, a little worried at the
tone of Koushirou's voice.
    "Well," he began, "I really feel as though I should
apologize for the way I acted after you told me you loved me."
    "You don't have to, I can understand what you were
going through,"
    "No, I really should apologize," Koushirou said,
pressing on, "At first I was too shocked to know what you were telling
me. But after I realized the implications, I began to get scared. I was
afraid, Jou. I was afraid of being gay and I was afraid of loving you back.
I didn't want to love you, yet deep down, I did. That's why I started pushing
you away, until eventually I couldn't see you at all. I was too afraid
to love you, Jou." Koushirou paused for a moment, allowing the tears that
had been forming to trickle down his face.
    "I'm so sorry, Jou." Koushirou said, finally
continuing, "I'm so sorry that I caused you so much pain all because I
didn't have the courage to accept my feelings."
    "It's okay, Koushirou, I forgive you," Jou whispered,
gently wiping away the tears, "It was hard for me to accept my feelings,
too. You should have seen me at first, I was a nervous wreck." Jou paused
as he watched a small smile slowly form on Koushirou's face. "But all that
doesn't matter now. The only thing that matters is that we're together
now, and that we were able to admit our feelings for each other."
    Koushirou's face grew even brighter at this, and
said, "Thanks Jou, for understanding."
    "Hey, what are best friends for?" Jou replied, giving
him another kiss.
    A smile formed on Koushirou's lips, obviously happy
about still being best friends. "Are we going to tell anyone about
it right away?" he finally asked, changing the subject.
    Jou paused for a moment in thought, before replying"Wel"Well, we don't have to tell anyone right away, but eventually we can tell
our friends. I'm sure they'll be wondering about our change in behavior."
    "And what about our parents?"
    "I'm not so sure about that. Quite honestly, I don't
think Yamato and Taichi's parents know about them. In fact, we could be
of thf the few people who do know."
    "Well, we'll tell them we we're ready. No use rushing
things," Koushirou said, adjusting his head on Jou's chest.
    "But how are we going to meet if our parents don't
know?" Jou asked, halfway wondering the same thing about Yamato and Taichi.
    "Well, we're just going to have to get creative,"
Koushirou replied with a mischievous grin on his face. "We're both pretty
smart, so we'll figure something out."
    Jou let out a chuckle, and gave the younger boy another
kiss. "I'm sure we will," he replied.
    The two were silent after that, perfectly content
in each other's company. Jou again had that feeling of happiness, like
everything was perfect. As he looked down at Koushirou, who was slowly
drifting off to sleep, he realized everything really was perfect. His best
friend who he was deeply in love with had finally admitted his love, and
was now in his arms. As Jou found himself drifting off to sleep, he decided
that finally, he truly was happy.
- 1
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Nightmares and Dreams