Follow the Waves

Follow the Waves

“My heart lies to you…you’ll never have me true…” –Melissa Auf der Maur

Chapter 1: My Heart Lies To You

“Yohei.”

“Where are you?”

“I-I’m standing in the street in the rain. H-heh, it’s kind of sad really.”

“Did he make you leave?”

Sakuragi Hanamichi looks up at the streetlamps, his red hair falling in dripping threads into his eyes. “Two more days, man.”

“You mean till graduation?”

“Yeah. Two more days. It couldn’t hurt anything.”

On the other end of the line, Mito Yohei is silent. He hears the crackle of Sakuragi’s cell phone and the soft rain that falloundound his friend. The cell phone was part of a gift, his-and-his cell phones from the redhead’s…ex-boyfriend?

“You know, it seems like at college he’d have lots of freedom to play around. Maybe he did. Maybe he’s just using this as an excuse. Haha, never mind that I said someone else’s name during sex…”

“Hanamichi, are you okay? What happened? You sound awful.”

“I sound happy, dammit,” the redhead responds cheerfully.

“That’s what’s wrong. What happened?”

Hanamichi resumes walking down the street. He is graduating from high school in two days. He has just left the home of the boy that he’s known for a few years now, a boy who has been so loyal even while away at college…supposedly. He is walking with a destination in mind. He knows what he has to do.

“He asked me if I was sleeping with him. I assured him that was not the case. He asked if I’d *like* to be sleeping with him. I don’t think I gave a very satisfactory rese toe to that.”

“God Hanamichi, what did you say?”

“Nothing. Nothing at all. That was the problem. I couldn’t even deny it.”

“It’s been building up for awhile, hasn’t it? I suppose it was just a matter of time before you did something like that. You talk about him more than your own boyfriend.”

“Ex-boyfriend.”

“He broke up with you because of this?” Yohei asks incredulously.

“He said he couldn’t be with me kno I w I was imagining him to be someone else. He said I needed to suck it up and tell the poor ignorant boy and stop using him as a substitute for someone else.”

“Are you okay?”

“Just as wonderful as I can be. I just got to his house.”

A very long pause. “…*His* house? *His*, as in-“

“Indeed. In two days it won’t really matter, so why not?”

“Hanamichi, do you think he even likes guys?”

“He’s never had a girlfriend in the three years I’ve known him. Besides, I mainly just want him to know.”

“Does he even know *you* like guys?”

“Um…I’m not really sure. Maybe if the ex let it slip…since they still…oh shit.”

“Hm?”

“I wonder what’ll happen with the two of them now? They’ve been still playing one-on-one whenever he’s actually home from school. Shit. I wonder if-“

“Jesus Hanamichi, you think he’d call him and tell him he can’t hang out with him anymore because his boyfriend wants him?”

“You never know.” Sakuragi stares up at the dark house for long moments. “Fuck it. I’m going in.”

“Godspeed, young Jedi,” Yohei sighs as he hangs up the phone. There’s no use in talking Sakuragi out of this. In reality, Yohei thinks it’s something that should have happened quite some time ago.

Taking a deep breath, Hanamichi walks up the sidewalk and knocks on the front door of the house. He sees his teammate’s blue car in the driveway so he knows he’s home. Question is whether he can wake him up.

After a few more episodes of knocking, Hanamichi squints as the porch light comes on. The door is opened by a groggy boy, his longish black hair all in disarray.

“What the hell are you doing here, do aho?” Rukawa murmurs hoarsely. His eyes keep drifting shut. “Wait a second. Sendoh just called me an hour ago telling me he wouldn’t be meeting me at the court this weekend. And he said to ask you why. What the hell is going on?”

Hanamichi sighs and bites his lip as he looks over his sluggish teammate. Well, half the battle is taken care of.

“Akira dumped me because I said your name when I was having sex with him.”

Rukawa stares at Sakuragi. A few moments pass by as the rain gently wets the earth. Then he says, “Oh...”

“Uummm...yeah.” Hanamichi shrugs, hoping it looks casual. “So...well, I just…yeah. Figured I\'d let you know. And hey, Akira DID say to find out from ME.”

“Yeah... well....” Rukawa scratches his neck. He is uncertain of what to do with this information so he settles for passing the time somehow. “So, why are you here? I mean, I\'d thought you\'d go to your best friend or something?”

“Haha, oh, well, he already...” Sakuragi blushes and finishes softly, “…knows.” He shakes himself out of his daze. “Anyway, like I said, I figured I\'d just let you know! Since, you know, in a couple days I won\'t see you again, and I figured what the hell, may as well be honest with someone.”

“I see.” The raven-haired boy nods slightly. He notices that Hanamichi is shivering slightly even with the jacket he\'s wearing. “Want to come in? ....We can talk if you want, and you can dry yourself off or something....?”

Sakuragi blinks like an owl at Rukawa. “You...you want me to come in? Um...” He suddenly realizes he\'s shivering, though it\'s probably not from the rain. “Yeah, ok.” He follows Rukawa inside.

Rukawa closes the door behind the redhead and offers him a plain white towel from a nearby closet while Sakuragi kicks off his soaked shoes. “You want anything to drink or eat? My mom\'s out of town so I\'ve got plenty of food...”

Hanamichi gives the fox a suspicious look. He doesn\'t know what he was expecting, but this calm acceptance wasn\'t it. “Um...some hot tea maybe?”

“Ok, which brand?” Rukawa pulls out a basket that\'s literally towering with tea bags of different kinds. He looks at Hanamichi\'s confused expression and sighs, “Never mind, I\'ll just take one.” He starts the water boiler and glances at Sakuragi. “Don\'t just stand there, stupid, sit down.” It makes him nervous having the other boy stare at him, considering what he\'d just confessed to him a few minutes ago.

Sakuragi mumbles, “Sorry,” before sitting down, and proceeds to stare at his hands. “So ahh...what are you doing after graduation?”

Rukawa shrugs. “I dunno, go home and take a nap...” He continues to fiddle with the tea bag.

Sakuragi gives a short snort of laughter. “Um, I didn\'t really mean *right* after...” He sits quietly for a few moments before the silence gets to him. “Ok, you didn\'t seem too shocked that I was with Akira. Did you know about it?”

“Oh...” Rukawa blushes slightly. *What\'s wrong with me?* The mere presence of the redhead seems to muddle Rukawa\'s thoughts. “Well, there were the occasional rumors... plus he never shut up about you. I sorta suspected that something was wrong when he suddenly stopped talking about you. I decided to ask him about it and he just looked at me...”

Hanamichi looks up, stunned. “When did this happen? We just broke up an hour ago!” He thinks for a moment, then says quietly, “He talked about me?” He bites his lip, remembering what Yohei said earlier about how he always talked about Rukawa instead of Sendoh.

“It happened a week ago or so, I don\'t know why he acted like that, you should ask him about it... tea\'s ready.” Rukawa carries over two steaming mugs and curses quietly as some of the hot liquid spills onto his hand. “He mentioned your name at least twice during our games...” *Speaking of which, who am I supposed to practice with now? Stupid Sendoh and his love affairs...*

Sakuragi shakes his head. “I don\'t need to ask him. A week ago is when...when all this happened. It just took him a week to think about whether I was worthy of another chance. Dammit! You know something Rukawa, I feel like such an asshole. Shouldn\'t I feel hurt that I got dumped by my boyfriend after 2 years? Instead I just feel guilty for hurting him, but feel nothing for myself. Not to mention I came over here like an idiot to dump my problems and my concerns and *my* desires on you...and why? What\'s the point?” He stands up and looks for an escape from a suddenly overwhelming situation.

Rukawa, who has been sipping at his tea, looks startled. “H-hey, where\'re you going? You got all the way here, might as well talk about it until you find the answer... it\'s not like I mind you coming over, I\'m all alone anyways....” When Hanamichi seems to ignore him, Rukawa grabs his wrist. “Please, sit down...”

Hanamichi sighs and sits back down. He puts his face in his hand. “I just feel so bad. I\'m not even really upset about breaking up with Akira...what I\'m upset about is that I\'m screwing with people\'s heads and being selfish.”

“Well, at least you\'re feeling something... I mean, it would be a lot worse if you didn\'t give a shit. That\'s one of your better points.”

Sakuragi looks at Rukawa skeptically while the raven-haired boy sips at his tea. “It\'s pretty rare for you to say there\'s anything good about me,” he sighs. “I just...I just feel like it\'s really cruel of me to have spent two years with him when maybe I didn\'t really love him like I thought I did. I mean, he\'s really the reason I\'ve calmed down so much and been so much nicer to people. But you\'re the reason I\'m not *exactly* like him.”

“Hmm? You mean I\'m the reason you\'re.... less nice?” Rukawa says with a slight smirk. “That was just my way of pushing you to get better, you know that. Anyway... I think it would\'ve been much crueler of you to stay together with him without loving him than breaking up with him.”

“I know that.” Hanamichi smiles a little. “I figured that out when we were freshmen. And I figured out I was doing the same thing. But as far as Akira...keep in mind, *he* broke up with *me*. I would\'ve stayed with him if he\'d allow it. I feel kinda pathetic, you know? Being with him is safe. After all this time it scares me to be on my own. And that\'s what makes me selfish. I would\'ve been happy to let him suffer just so I wouldn\'t be alone.”

Rukawa looks silently at the redhead for a few moments before responding. “Has this anything to do... with your past?” He looks hesitant and then continues, “You don\'t have to go into details, but something happened that made you scared of being alone, there\'s nothing you can do about that. Still, I think that the best that could\'ve happened, happened. It\'s better for the both of you.”

“Wouldn\'t it have been better if I never said anything? If I didn\'t stupidly say something that had nothing to do with anything, he wouldn\'t be hurt...” Hanamichi says, forcing back tears, “…And I would still be safe.”

Sakuragi sighs and covers his face with a hand. “Maybe it *is* because of certain things...like my dad dying when I was 13. My parents were already divorced and my mom had gotten remarried and moved to London, of all places. I was gonna go live with her, even though I didn\'t want to. B-but then she died in a car accident. And I\'ve been alone ever since. With Akira, I didn\'t feel so alone.”

Rukawa gives him a sympathetic look. “Hanamichi....” The redhead looks up as Rukawa moves to sit next to him, then wraps an arm around him. “You\'re not alone.... you\'ve got your friends, Yohei and the gundan... and you\'ve also got me.... besides, Akira\'s a nice guy, I don\'t think he\'ll hate you for this. He\'s been through lots of relationships after all. He knows how to get through it.”

“B-but...he loved me. And that felt really good. It\'s not like that with anyone else.” Sakuragi wipes his eyes a bit before continuing. “Why are you being so nice to me? I\'m such a mess.” He laughs a little. “I came over here and woke you up to tell you...well, aside from that, I ended up barging in and crying to you about my stupid shit...why are you listening to me?”

Rukawa takes a napkin from the table and begins to tear it into smaller pieces. He swallows nervously before he speaks. “It might sound crazy to you.... but I l-like you Hanamichi... I care about you...at least I did. I knew that you were together with Sendoh so I knew it was hopeless, and when I finally manage to give up on you completely, you come home to me telling me you\'ve broken up with Sendoh and like me...”

Sakuragi stares at Rukawa with wide, tearful eyes. “Y-you mean...ahh god I didn\'t even know how I felt, I didn\'t even realize it till recently. I never would\'ve played basketball again if not for you. And last year I started wishing I could understand you. Why you were so mean to me on the outside but helped me get better.”

“With Akira...he\'s so open and lets you know everything...The past week was the first time he just shut me out completely. You’re not like that. And I-I-I never really understood why I wanted so much to...to be the person you opened up to. You know last year we started getting along better, and I started thinking maybe we could actually be friends. It never seemed sexual until last week when I was at Akira\'s dorm...I was just not in my right head, I was letting my mind get ahead of my body, and...somehow your name just came out. B-but...” He drops his voice to a whisper. “You got over it?”

Rukawa moves closer to the other boy. “I think I just fell in love again....” He leans his forehead against Hanamichi\'s shoulder. “I can\'t be like Akira.... I never will, but I\'ll do my best to l-love you and...be with you whenever you need me...”

“W-what? What are you saying? Do you rze wze what you\'re saying? That you...want us to be together? A couple? H-have you ever been with a guy before? Oh god...I...I don\'t know what to think of all this...” Sakuragi covers his eyes with his hand as he bursts into tears.

Rukawa is startled by Hanamichi\'s tears. “H-Hana! What\'s wrong??” He hugs the crying boy uncertainly. “I-I\'ve never been with a guy… or a girl for that matter... I\'ve been too concentrated on basketball... I think my feelings are real, you\'re the first, the ONLY, one that has gotten to me like this... please, stop crying... “ He places his hand gently on the redhead’s own hand.

Sakuragi returns Rukawa’s hug tightly. “I-I just can\'t believe you\'re telling me this! I-I don\'t love Akira...I love *you*...” He buries his face in Rukawa\'s neck and cries more.

Rukawa holds Sakuragi and strokes his hair. *He loves me... he actually loves me...* He is still trying to grasp the fact that the redhead has feelings for him. “Hana... my Hana...” Rukawa suddenly notices that Hanamichi is shivering. “Hey, y-you\'re freezing! Want to take a bath? I don\'t want you to catch a cold...”

Hanamichi sniffles and rubs his face against Rukawa’s shoulder. “I-I guess that\'s a good idea...I\'m still all wet, huh.” He sniffles some more and then pulls away from Rukawa in order to stand up.

“Come on, the bathroom\'s upstairs. I\'ll take your things... by the way, you brought jammies?”

Sakuragi giggles. “Uhhh, no, I was hardly expecting to spend the night here.” He suddenly grabs Rukawa’s arm. “Shit, you know what I just realized? I\'ve spent the last two years stringing Akira along and also hurting *you*, and maybe I was with the wrong guy all along! Shit.” He shakes his head. “Now I feel even worse for adding you to the whole thing.”

The raven-haired boy chuckles quietly. “Don\'t think so much about that, what matters is now. I\'m so happy that you came here...” He places a light kiss on Hanamichi\'s cheek. “Hmm, salty… you cried quite a bit, didn\'t you? Hana.... I swear that I won’t make you cry... or at least, try... I felt so bad when you sat there, I didn\'t know what to do....” He takes Hanamichi\'s hand. “Let\'s go upstairs,” he says as he starts leading the way.

“I AM sorry for being stupid for so long...but I\'ll stop talking about it now,” Hanamichi says as he follows the other boy up the stairs and into the bathroom.

“Well, if you really feel so bad I guess you\'ll just have to make it up to me then? And I\'ve got to make it up to you too for being so mean to you,” Rukawa says with a slight smile. “Here\'s the bathroom, take a shower or a bath and I\'ll make a bed for you.”

Sakuragi nods. “Thank you. Hey...come here.” He stands close to Rukawa and gently places his hands on his cheeks. “You are really amazing,” he says, staring intently into Rukawa\'s eyes. “I just-“ Hanamichi forgets what he\'s saying and leans forwardlay lay a soft kiss on Rukawa\'s lips. He pulls back slightly and smiles.

Rukawa blushes and bites back a stutter. He settles for smiling shakily and looking down. “That was my first kiss....” He then looks up at Hanamichi.

Hanamichi smiles at Rukawa\'s shyness. “My god, you\'re so adorable. Was it okay?”

“I don\'t know... it was kind of short. C-could we do it again?” Rukawa blushes more.

“Whatever you want,” Sakuragi chuckles. *This is weird...a cute, shy Rukawa! Wow!* He lifts Rukawa\'s chin in his hand and gives him a slow, gentle kiss.

“Mmmh....” Rukawa sighs and closes his eyes as he\'s taken over by the feeling of Hanamichi\'s lips moving with his.

Sakuragi pushes one hand into the hair at the back of Rukawa’s head and places his other hand against the other boy’s face. He breaks the kiss with a soft suction, then lays little pecks on Rukawa’s lips before kissing him again.

Rukawa feels his knees go weak as Hanamichi\'s lips work their magic on him. When the other boy\'s hand touches his neck he gasps and arches his neck, unintentionally breaking the kiss. “Wh-wh-what the..?! What was that??” he asks as he rubs his neck.

Sakuragi gives the other boy a curious look. “What? Your neck? I just...” He teases his fingertips against the back of Rukawa’s neck again. “Did that feel weird?”

“Aah!” Rukawa clings to Sakuragi to prevent himself from sliding to the floor as the redhead’s fingers tease thee spe spot over and over. “D-don\'t! I... I w-won’t be able t-to stand... a-aaah!! Shit!!”

*Whoa...I can\'t let THIS go!* “Damn, you\'re really sensitive,” Hanamichi muses. He sits down on the closed toilet-seat cover and pulls Rukawa to sit on his lap, facing away from him. “I\'ve got you.” He wraps an arm around Rukawa’s waist and starts pressing lightly sucking kisses to the sensitive spot on his neck.

Rukawa squirms in Hanamichi\'s lap, his body out of control. “Nnnnhhh!! Aah, Hana...wh-what are you doing to me?” He bites his thumb to prevent more sounds from escaping. *Sh-shit! What\'s wrong with me!? I never scream like this.... why\'s it so hot? And what is he doing with his tongue??* “Mmph!!!”

Sakuragi pants against Rukawa\'s neck as he licks at it, almost unbearably aroused simply from Rukawa’s reactions. “God, I can\'t believe how sensitive you are. Mmmhh...okay, I have to stop. For both our sakes.” He lets go of Rukawa and pushes gently at him to stand up. He glimpses the flushed, shocked look on Rukawa’s face and stuffs a tissue up his nose.

Rukawa manages somehow to stand on wobbly legs. “Y-you take a bath, I\'ll arrange a bed for you...” He glances at Hanamichi and blushes before fleeing to his room. *I can\'t believe that happened... hentai do aho...* He leans against the wall in his room and smiles.

In the bathroom, Hanamichi breathes deeply while stripping down and stepping into a hot shower.

*Dammit, why am I so horny right now? He’s so sexy…but I don’t want to make him uncomfortable or scare him off. I have to get control of myself…*

The redhead pauses periodically in his washing to glare at his erection. His body is ignoring his brain. With a sigh, Hanamichi wraps a hand around his own hardness and leans on the wall with his other hand.

*I just need to get this out of my system so I can survive the night…this is already so new and confusing, he won’t want to fool around too much…so I better deal with it now before I get really frustrated later…*

“Nnhh…” Hanamichi grits his teeth against the sounds bubbling up from his throat. He moves his hand slowly, panting as he squeezes harder.

*Hmm, I guess he can sleep on the futon...* Rukawa thinks as he unfolds the couch/bed. *Now, where does mom keep the sheets? ...Oh yeah, they\'re in the hallwloseloset.* He exits his room and opens the door to the closet. *What\'s that sound? Is Hana hurt?* Rukawa sneaks closer to the bathroom out of curiosity.

“Mmmm...” Hanamichi leans his forehead against the shower wall. He moves his hand faster and bites his lip. *Dammit, keep quiet. I can\'t believe this is happening...I can\'t believe he wants me...he\'s so gorgeous...his repressed sexuality is gonna be the death of me….*

Rukawa, meanwhile, carefully opens the bathroom door and looks inside. *H-holy!!! He-he\'s... .... Wow, he looks good...* Rukawa gasps softly at his own thoughts. *Pervert! What if he sees you!?* He closes the door quietly and hurries to take the sheets from the closet.

Sakuragi whirls around at the sensation of cool air that he felt for a moment. “Shit.” He frowns at the closed door. “Did he...” Hanamichi frowns, unsure whether the door was opened or if he\'s being paranoid. “Dammit. Arrggh, I\'m gonna feel worse if I stop now...” He hurriedly finishes himself off. “Nnnhh!” Hanamichi stands with his eyes closed for a few moments, calming his breathing down, before washing up and wrapping a towel around his waist. He then goes out to look for Rukawa.

Rukawa finishes making the bed in his room. He glances at a small mirror on his desk and notices to his horror that his cheeks are still pink. *Sh-shit! What do I do? He\'s going to realize that I saw him! Umm.... gotta think about something disgusting! Uhh, Anzai-sensei in a thong, Anzai-sensei in a thong, Saki ini in a th- DAMN IT!!* Rukawa proceeds to hit his head repeatedly with his fist.

“Oi, what\'s the matter with you?” Sakuragi laughs as he sticks his head into Rukawa\'s room. “Is it safe to come in there?”

Rukawa flinches slightly. “Uhh, sure! I made the futon for you, unless you want the bed, I mean, are you ok sleeping on the futon? Can your back take it?” *Damn it, I\'m babbling!* Rukawa shutsand and settles for waiting for an answer.

Sakuragi walks fully into the room. “The futon should be okay. Besides, if I steal your bed, where would you sleep? Thanks for letting me stay here.” The redhead smiles and squeezes Rukawa\'s arm. *GOD I want to kiss him...* he sighs to himself. *Just a kiss, really...*

Rukawa blushes slightly at the light contact. “N-no problem...umm, what do you want to sleep in? Is boxers and a t-shirt ok?” *Shit, why do I act like this?* helds lds himself. *He must think I\'m the biggest idiot on earth.*

Hanamichi shrugs. “That\'s fine. Whatever you can spare. Ne, Ru, are you okay?” He sighs and looks at the floor. “Did...did I freak you out earlier, in the bathroom? With the...kissing and everything? Look, I\'m sorry I got carried away. It\'s just...” He suddenly blushes. “…You really seemed to enjoy it, and I just wanted to make you feel good.”

Rukawa busies himself with digging through his drawer for some clothes for the redhead. “N-no, I\'m ok. I didn\'t mind kissing you... I really liked it.” *But the other stuff was slightly more than I\'d expected... * he thinks, blushing again. “Here, your clothes. I\'ll go and brush my teeth while you change, ok?” Rukawa leaves the room, trying to walk slow enough that it won’t seem like he\'s fleeing.

“B-but...”

*I don\'t believe him.* Hanamichi muses. *There’s *something* bothering him.* “Dammit.” The redhead sits down on the futon to put on the clothes and then puts his head in his hands while aitsaits for Rukawa to come back. *Assuming he IS coming back.*

In the bathroom, Rukawa applies the toothpaste to his brush with slightly shaking fingers. *What the heck\'s going on with me?? Why am I acting like this??* He glances at the shower and the picture of Hanamichi doing THAT in the shower comes back to him in a flash...the red hair, wet from the shower,mingming his face…his labored breathing, legs slightly spread, and his hand... *Sh-shit!* The raven-haired boy suddenly wipes his nose.

“Dammit dammit dammit...I can\'t take this...” Hanamichi mutters. He jumps up and runs to the bathroom, knocking on the closed door. “Oi, Rukawa. I\'m sorry if I went too fast. I don\'t want to screw this up! I can tell I freaked you out!”

*Ack! What\'s he doing now??* Rukawa opens the door, saying, “What\'s wrong Hana, what\'re you yelling about?” He then realizes toothpaste is running down his chin. “Ah crap, hang on!” He rushes to the sink and cleans his face, then turns to look at Hanamichi again. “What\'s up? I told you that I didn\'t mind the kiss...” He fiddles with the towel he used to dry his face.

“But why are you acting so nervous all of a sudden? Is it the other stuff I did? I don\'t want to make you uncomfortable, but you need to tell me if I *do*,” Sakuragi says. “Otherwise I won\'t know if I\'m going too far.” The redhead blushes and looks down. “I can\'t say I don\'t want to be physical with you, but I do want you to be happy. As I already told you, I love you. And I don\'t want to hurt you in any way.”

*Oh crap, I made him feel bad! Now what?? I need to apologize!* “I didn\'t mind any of it!” Rukawa insists. “It\'s just, well... oh hell, I can\'t lie to you. When I was making the bed I went out t-to get the sheets... a-and, well, I heard some noises from in here... I didn\'t know what they were, I thought you might be hurt or something so I opened the door ..” ..” Rukawa trails off and makes a lovely impression of a tomato.

“Ah so...you...” Hanamichi blushes and runs a hand through his hair. “...You...saw....fuck.” The redhead turns abruptly to head back to Rukawa\'s room. *Dammit, that WAS him. Crap. He probably thinks I\'m a total hentai...*

*Ahh man, now he probably thinks I\'m a peeping tom or something.... * Rukawa thinks as he hurries after Hanamichi.

“W- wait!” He grabs Sakuragi\'s arm as he rushes down the hall. “I\'m sorry that I... I mean, I didn\'t mean to intrude on your privacy... I\'m sorry.”

“You must think I\'m some kind of pervert now.” Sakuragi murmurs, refusing to look at the other boy. “I-I just...I just got too carried away by what we were doing, and I didn\'t want to be all...shikima and make you feel uncomfortable.”

“Ehh?” Rukawa stares in silence for a bit before laughing quietly. “I don\'t mind.... even though I was surprised, I don\'t feel disgusted or anything. I\'m more embarrassed about walking in on you...” The raven-haired boy blushes slightly as he thinks to himself, *He wants me... aah! What\'s this feeling!?* He feels warm and happy to hear of the effect he had on the redhead. “Y-you really want me that much?”

Sakuragi blushes redder than his hair. “*Do* you think I\'m a hentai now? I just...” He shakes his head and continues, “I can\'t even tell you how you make me feel. I think I could spend *days* just kissing you and touching you. But you seemed so shocked by your own reactions and I just didn\'t want to scare you off.”

Rukawa smiles shyly. “I don\'t know what all these feelings I have are... all I know is that I love you and I want to be with you...” He moves closer to the other boy. “And I promise you that I\'m not scared of you. Don\'t think too much of yourself, do aho.” He smirks slightly. The raven-haired boy breathes Hanamichi\'s scent and leans closer to him, placing a chaste kiss onto his lips. “Let\'s go to bed,” he murmurs as he moves toward his bed and takes off his shirt.

Sakuragi gawks for a moment, unsure of Rukawa\'s intentions. “O-okay. But promise you\'ll tell me if you don\'t like something.” He crawls onto the bed and waits for Rukawa to make some sort of move.

Rukawa puts on his night t-shirt and lies down next to Sakuragi. He looks into the other\'s dark brown eyes and says softly, “Umm... g-good night, Hana-chan.” He gives the redhead a short kiss before pulling the covers over them. After a period of silence, he slides closer to Hanamichi and places his arm around his waist, smiling shyly.

Sakuragi returns the gentle smile, but feels his heart pounding and his face heating up. *I don\'t know if I can sleep with him like this...just lying here...DAMMIT you shikima hentai, just give the guy a break!* The redhead wraps his arms around Rukawa and squeezes him gently. He says quietly, “Ne, Kaede, you\'re so warm...it feels really nice to hold you.” *But how long can I just hold him without going crazy?*

“Nnnhh....” Rukawa grumbles incoherently. He nuzzles Hanamichi\'s neck slightly before falling asleep.

Sakuragi gives the sleeping boy a stunned look. *SHIT! He did NOT just fall asleep! I can\'t do this...* Though he feels guilty about it, he still disentangles hif frf from Rukawa\'s arms and stumbles out of bed. *I\'ll sleep on the damn futon like I said I would...*


Rukawa wakes up to the sound of birds chirping. “Mmmhh... Hana?” He feels nothing but cold sheets and glances over at the futon where Sakuragi is snoring. *Hehe, I\'ve got to tease him about that later...* Rukawa gets dressed and goes downstairs to make breakfast.

Sakuragi wakes up to the smell of food cooking and crawls out of bed. *Well last night was totally confusing...* He trudges downstairs to find Rukawa in the kitchen.

Rukawa hums a soft tune as he places fried eggs on two pieces of toast. “Oh, good morning, Hana. I made toast for you. What do you want to drink? Let\'s see....” He peers into the refrigerator as he talks to the redhead. “I\'ve got some juice, milk... other than that I\'ve got coffee and tea. Which is it gonna be?”

“Whatever. Milk,” Sakuragi mutters, putting his head down on the table. “Shit. My back kinda hurts. I guess I should\'ve stayed in the bed last night.”

Rukawa pours a glass of milk for Sakuragi. “Why\'d you switch to the futon then?” He places the glass of milk in front of the other boy before getting some juice for himself. “Here\'s your toast.”

Sakuragi gets halfway through his toast before responding. “It doesn\'t matter. I just...” He decides on the spot to lie a little. “I don\'t sleep well with another person.” He realizes he sounds irritable but can\'t really do anything about it. He sighs, “Sorry if I soundsy..sy...I just don\'t feel too great this morning.”

“You got a headache? I\'ve got some aspirin if you want?” Rukawa stands up to get the medicine.

“It\'s just my back.” Hanamichi glares at the table. *He has no idea at all why I really left the bed. Is there any point in telling him? But he was honest with me last night…*

“Ok, look, I wish I could\'ve slept there with you,” Hanamichi says. “It would\'ve been nice. But I didn\'t think I would be able to lie there next to you all night without going crazy. I don\'t know what\'s wrong with me. I swear to you I\'m not always such an insensitive, horny bastard.”

Rukawa looks away from the other boy as he realizes what he means. “Oh.... well, I guess that explains it... I\'m sorry, I guess it was insensitive of me to just drag you to bed with me without doing anything.” He sits down again and munches on his toast. “You can have the bed tonight. Hurry up with your toast, we gotta go soon.”

Hanamichi blinks a few times. “Tonight? I-I...” He stuffs the rest of his toast in his mouth and swallows it, giving himself time to think. “You are confusing the hell out of me.”

“I am?” Rukawa blinks in surprise. “W-well, unless you don\'t want to stay, I mean, I don\'t mind... like I said, my mom\'s out of town so...” His voice drops to an almost-whisper and he looks down. “I\'d really like for you to stay here…with me.... a-anyway, let\'s go or we\'re gonna be late.” He shoulders his school bag and walks to the hall.

Sakuragi follows Rukawa in silence at first. For some reason he almost feels like crying. “I just don\'t understand what\'s going on. We\'ve both said we love each other, but what happens now? What do you want to happen?” He shakes his head and sighs. “I\'m sorry if I seem really demanding or something...this is what I meant about not feeling...safe anymore. I just...” Hanamichi has to stop as he forces down tears. “Nevermind, we can talk about it after school.”

Rukawa looks back at Sakuragi after putting on his shoes. *Crap... what do I say? Did I do anything wrong? He seems upset.* “Hana... I DO love you, never doubt that.” He kisses the other boy on the cheek. “I\'m sorry that I\'m confusing you, it\'s just that I\'ve never been with anyone before... I don\'t know how to act...” He suddenly pulls Hanamichi into a tight hug. “We\'ll talk more later, ok?”

Sakuragi flinches at Rukawa\'s hug. His current instinct is to pull away defensively. “Yeah, later.” His inner thoughts are in turmoil. *Shit...this is terrifying. He says he loves me...but I don\'t know how to trust it. I miss...no! No, I don\'t. It\'s just that he made me feel secure. It\'s okay to be unsure, isn\'t it?*

Rukawa walks out to the porch and locks the door after Hanamichi gets out the door. “Let\'s go.” He takes Hanamichi\'s hand in his and sets off to school.

Sakuragi allows Rukawa to hold his hand until the school is in sight. “I-I...don\'t think you\'ll like the reactions you might get from this…” He emphasizes \'this\' by gently slipping his hand out of Rukawa\'s. “Trust me. I\'ll find you after school, ok?”

Rukawa nods. “Ok... or shall we meet during lunch break?” He wants to spend more time with the other boy.

“Eh, I have to retake a quiz during lunch. I guess I should be glad I get another chance at it. I\'m barely gonna pass math. But after school I\'ll go home with you, okay?”

Rukawa smiles at the other boy. “Ok. I\'ll see ya later then.” He heads toward his classroom, then glances back at Hanamichi. “Good luck with the test.”

“Thanks,” the redhead nods, heading for his own class.

*~*~ TBC