My Strength, My Love
My Strength, My Love
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Author\'s notes and
warnings:
OAV focusing on Tasuki\'s thoughts about Chichiri, beginning with the first time
they met. It\'s written in the first person, as if he\'s telling a story, so his
thoughts will pretty much be all over the place. This is the first time I\'ve
written in this style....I hope I did okay. I only saw the subtitled VHS
version and in those, Tasuki\'s language is not all that bad. But from what I\'ve
read on the net, I can only assume that the Subtitled version is very mild.
I\'ll try my best to live up to all the \'Tasuki foul mouth fan club\', please be
tolerant. The story contains sexual situations but not very graphic or in
abundance, I\'m not THAT brave yet.
SPOILERS for pretty much the whole series and OAVs.
Disclaimer: I do not (although desperately wish that ) ow) own Fushigi Yuugi
and it\'s characters (especially Chichiri-sama). I make no money from this and
only live on the feedback I get. (hint, hint).
Please (on hands and knees) let me know what you think.... as a writer, I can
only grow with feedbacks. Hugs!
Verdana\'>
By Moonraven
The first time I saw him, he scared the shit out of me.
gotten myself into? I\'m surrounded by
weirdoes! First, there is
dressing muscle man…not to mention the disaster prone girl I was born to
protect. Now I\'m faced with a geek who
has no eyes, well two slits don\'t count, with a weird hair-do.
his neck? I FUCKIN\' WANNA GO HOME!
I swear to Suzaku, those were the exact thoughts going through my messed up
mind and pretty much in that order.
Those feelings changed as we spent more time together and by the time we
were in Kuotu, I found that I actually felt safer with him around.
I know, THAT didn\'t take long, did it?
What is it about Chichiri that can make me feel....peace?
remember and it took me a while to put a name to it.yes\"> Peace and something else I still have a hard time naming.
pants) and there\'s a knot in my stomach.
I don\'t like it...but I know I can\'t live without it.
The first time I saw him without his mask, I nearly fell off the fuckin\' tree
we were on. The only thing that saved
me was the fact that I was so stunned, I froze. Makes a lot of fucking sense,
huh? Hell, half the things I feel make no sense at all.
traded it for all of Tama\'s money, hehehe, even though it would’ve been worth A
LOT to see him squirm.
At first, I didn\'t know why he had a mask on and every time the subject came
up, he just sorta looked at me with those itty bitty eyes and smiled.
shit, I think it makes him look fuckin\' hot.
Yeah, yeah, id iid it. What?
without actually having the hots for him?
And NO! Chiri and I ain\'t like
that. He\'s so fuckin\' pure I think the
sun would rise in the west before I ever fucked with him.
guy......and I\'m a guy......and I don\'t wanna go there now.
counterproductive. Whatever the fuck
that means.
Just because it felt damn good to be held by him don\'t mean nothin\',
right? Hell, I was half DEAD!
old advisor hold me. That fuckin\' Tama!
Every time I think about it, I wanna \'Rekka Shienen\' him to a crisp.
know. NOT Tamahome! Chichiri. Stay with
the program, will ya? That fuckin\'
Tama.
Anyway, Mits couldn\'t use his healing powers on me yet ‘cause he’d just healed
Miaka, so after he patched me up Chiri sat with me all night.
found him dozing in the chair next to the bed.
No mask. Fuck, I didn\'t wanna
sleep after that. You don\'t get ta see
him without that mask very often so why waste the opportunity?
Even when he slept he projected this.... strength.yes\"> It made ME feel strongerehowehow.yes\"> I thought maybe I didn’t even need Mits.
talking about? All I know is that I
felt safe. I felt like every thing
would turn out just fine. And I was
haead,ead, remember? Have I mentioned
that he looks damn good without his mask?
Strength. First glance at Chichiri and
you’d never connect him with that word.
He\'s a couple of inches shorter than me and sure as hell built smaller.
another, more hentai, attribute.
Although I have to admit that I would really love to explore ...*ahem*....,
where was I?
Oh yeah, strength.
With Chiri, you can\'t just look at him though, you gotta feel him. (Shit, if
only I could.... )
What I meant was if I had ta go up against some bad ass demon, I\'d rather have
just Chiri with me than all of Hotohori\'s army, any day.
no! But he sure as hell can make you
feel pretty damn confident. I remember
going up against Nakago in Miaka\'s world.
We had no fucking seishi powers but with Chichiri by my side, I felt I
could take on even Seiryuu himself.
Shit! That may not be all that
good after all. I mean, what if I had?
Gone up against Seiryuu I mean.
I would have been more crispy that I ever made Tama.
eh?
I don\'t think it\'s just me, though. I saw others coming to talk to him all the
time. Even Hotohori, the great Emperor
of Konan, asked for his advice. I saw
Hotohori giving orders and leading the troops, but I knew who was behind those
orders. I knew who had been giving
strength to the Emperor. Just like he
had given it to the rest of us.
That\'s his true power, you know. Not
that he can teleport, not his chi blasts, not his magic shit.
of us. The shit he endured alone so we
could be the best that we can be.
Somehow that came out like one of Hotohori\'s recruiting campaign for his
army. I can’t help thinking that if
Chichiri had been a Seiryuu warrior, they wouldn\'t have been as fucked up as
they were. Hell, he could’ve probably
helped Nakago become a better person, if he’d had enough time.
He told me once I\'m hot-headed. Shit,
scratch that. He tells me that ALL the
time. But it\'s the first time he told
me that I can\'t forget. It was
something in his beautiful eye that told me re dre different but he don\'t
care. It told me that he\'ll always be
there for me, he\'ll always be the calm in my storm if I ever needed him.
need him anymore. That look in his eye
gave me hope that this feeling I have may one day be returned.
disappointed.
Hope.n stn style=\"mso-spacerun: yes\"> When Tama and Miaka had that
problem with \'no sex or we can\'t summon Suzaku\' thing, he actually fuckin\'
suggested \'other alternatives\'. Nuriko
and I choked on the sake we were drinking.
He told us that Suzaku is the God of love and fire and that his servants
are required to know a few things.
Nuriko, in his bad ass way, asked how does Chichiri know and who did he
practice with? Chichiri\'s staff smacked
down on Nurio fao fast, I hadn’t even seen it move.yes\"> Our ever-surprising monk blushed a few shades of pink and said
\'no one\', then mumbled something about reading an ancient text and not actually
practicing. Nuriko, not learning from
the fuckin\' bump on his head, asked if Chichiri wanted some practical
lessons. Before the staff could come
down this time though, he offered me as the learning partner.
Chiri\'s face, I will never forget. Do I
dare hope?
So I\'m hot-headed. Like ya can\'t
tell. I got a fuckin\' fan that spews
fire, for Suzaku\'s sake! My hair is
fn\' n\' orange, pretty much like the flames I shoot.yes\"> With all that heat, didn’tcha ever wonder why there ain\'t that
much damage around me? I\'ll tell you
why. Chichiri. All he has to do is
touch me and I can feel the peace slowly flow into me.
voice alone can take the edge off of my fiercest tantrums.
me.
I did NOT just say that. Didn\'t I say I
don\'t wanna go there?
There was a time, though, when I didn\'t think too much of Chichiri.
bastard. Well, I guess compared to a
bawling kid like me, even Miaka looked cold.
It hurted. It hurted real bad to
loose a friend and I couldn\'t see past my own damn feelings.
maybe more so than any of us. I got a glimpse of it that night though, when I
couldn\'t stop crying. He took me in his
arms and held me all night. We slept
like that, with his body curled up protectively around mine.
exhausted and filled with grief, but we did find comfort in each other\'s
embrace.
It was after that very night that I finally admitted to myself that I want more
than friendship from Chichiri. I found
myself wishing I could plunge my tongue deep inside him, swirl it around him
and taste all that is Chichiri. I want
him to screw me until we have no strength left.yes\"> Fuck, I want to feel him inside me so bad sometimes I can\'t
bre.
better person? Or would I make him as
fucked up as I am? I can only hope that
Suzaku knew what he was doing when he made me fall for another of his seishi.
But I can\'t be selfish and think of only my needs.yes\"> Chichiri is NEVER like that. I have never heard him comment on
his \'wants and needs\'. Others\' needs
are always ahead of his own. That\'s the
man I love. Yes, I can name it
now...but will I ever tell him? Not
fuckin\' likely. He’d most likely blame himself for how I feel.
Ya gotta know Chichiri. He takes
everyone\'s problems and responsibilities onto himself. I - don\'t - fucking\' -
know - why. Maybe he thought that since
he was the oldest, he had to take care of us.
Maybe it\'s because he feels bad about his past.
gutter. Ever since he let Hikou\'s hand
go and lost his friend, he’s worked extra hard to not let anyone down.
shit? Naw!yes\"> That ain\'t him. He’d rather run off by himself to take care of it
and maybe die in the process. But he\'d
never come and get you mixed up in it.
Not willingly anyway.
I beat him to it, you know. I knew him
well enough since we’d been traveling together for almost 2 years.
that demon of a friend named Hikou. It
hurt lhellhell to know that he would leave me behind, but I know him.
Well this time I didn’t let him.
It was my turn to protect him.
He was weak, my Chiri, when it came to Hikou.yes\"> Even though his friend was dead, Chichiri still tried to save his
soul. At the cost of his own life and
by my hands no less, if he’d had his way.
What a damn lousy thing to ask me to do.yes\"> Had he fuckin\' forgotten Chiriko?
Fuck that! Hikou had already ruined 8
years of Chichiri\'s life; I wasn\'t about to let him take it away
completely. Not when we still need him.
fuck...do I really wanna go there?
Needless to say, we beat the shit out of that demon.yes\"> Me, Chiri and Tama. Or should I say Taka.
THAT turn of events.
No one is gonna take Chichiri from me.
Unless of course Chiri himself decides to leave me.
thought keeps wandering below the belt.
Did I mention how hot he looks without that damn mask?
Lately he hasn\'t been wearing it, you know.
Ever since he made peace with Hikou, he wears it less and less, usually
only when we\'re in town around people.
That makes it even harder for me not to stare.yes\"> Harder for me to keep my fuckin\' hands to myself.
anymore. Just the thought of him naked
gets me hard so fast, my head spins.
I think he might suspect something.
He\'s been giving me strange s.
But this look is more like he thinks I\'m coming down with something.
Shit! He\'s looking at me again.
"Tasuki, no da." He frowns at
me and puts his hand on my forehead.
"You\'re all flushed, na no da.
Are you feeling ill?"
"Nah, Chiri." I barely
croak. "It\'s just hot and we\'ve
been walking all morning. Can\'t we rest
yet?" I whine a little.
He laughs and gives me a look thlearlearly say he\'s not buying it.
you\'re still very young. You can handle
a little more walking, na no da."
He looks ahead of us along the paths and I can see that his gaze is
slightly unfocused. When he looks back
at me, he winks and says, "There\'s a little lake up ahead, maybe half an
hour walk, no da. You\'ll be able to
cool off there."
Shit! That\'s all I need.
Not only do I fuckin\' hate water, how will I handle Chichiri without
clothes on? Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I should REALLY stop saying that since it\'s really NOT what I\'m getting.
"Tasuki."
Shit! Where\'s the no da?
"Do you think you can tell me what been bothering you, no da?t;
I let out a relieved breath…there\'s the no da.
But I know that I have to tell him my feelings soon.
concentrate on anything any more. I should
get a fuckin\' medal for keeping it to myself this long.
"Yeah, Chiri, real soon. I
promise." I look at him then and
he\'s looking back at me. Quite
intently, too. Then he nods and turns
his attention back to the road.
I notice then that he\'s not wearing his kasa.
His broad shoulders and chest are outlined by the shirt he\'s wearing and
I\'m damn shocked to find that my hand is already moving half way there.
look.
I swat at an imaginary fly and almost die of embarrassment.
silent. We walk like that until we get
to the little lake Chichiri mentioned. He looks at the lake and gives a happy little
sigh. What he does next gets me hard
instantly.
He takes off his shoes. Yeah, his
shoes. You got a problem with
that? And I don\'t have a foot fetish,
either! My mind is just WAY ahead of
the shoes and I\'m already thinking of what he\'ll take off next.
"Chiri..." My voice comes out
like a whisper but he hears me. He
turns towards me with his shirt half buttoned and I can see the smooth line of
his chest where it\'s exposed. He\'s so
fucking HOT!
"Hmmm?" But I am already
there, in front of him. My symbol isn\'t
\'wing\' for nothing. I can be pretty
damn fast when I want to be. I fully
expect him to jump back a pace because I am definitely invading his personal
space. By a whole fuckin\' lot.
expectantly.
I am quite shocked, to say the least.
And he nearly floors me when he asks huskily, "Do you want
something, Tasuki, no da?"
Fuck, if I don\'t know better, I\'d say he\'s coming on to me.
hormonally induced, sexriverived, and overactive imagination.
Fuck! I keep saying that!
DID ask, my rational mind takes a long walk on a short pier and my hormonally
induced and sex deprived mind takes over.
I lean over and kiss him. He doesn\'t
pull away. In fact he opens his mouth
and his tongue swipes my lips gently.
Who am I to deny him anything?
Within seconds our tongues are caressing each other and one of his hand comes
up to hold the back of my head firmly in place while the other rests lightly on
my chest. When we break off the kiss,
we are both breathing pretty damn fast.
He\'s looking at me intently again....shit! Is he mad?
"Are you sure this is what you want, Tasuki?"
index finger. There is no mistaking the
look in his eye, he wants me too. Fuck,
this is too good to be true.
Thank YOU, Suzaku.
"I\'ve beentinnting this for so long, Chiri, I almost lost hope."
sucking vigorously.
He closes his eye and I swear I hear him moaning.yes\"> When he opens it again, it\'s to take out his finger and take my
face in both his hands. The kiss he
gives me next leaves me to wonder where the hell a monk learns to kiss like
that. I thought he said he\'s never
practiced with anyone. Shit, I\'ve been
kissed before. Me and the guys mes
aro
around a bit, but nothing as deep and soul searching as the one I\'m
experiencing now. I guess it\'s true about your first time with someone you
really love. It can fuckin\' rock your
world.
When Chichiri and I finally join, it is fuckin\' perfect.
His movements in and out of me make me catch my breath again and
again. I\'m so close to the edge.
he wraps his hand around my aching member and pumps in time with his
thrusts. Shit!
Chichiri gives me one deep thrust and a final hard squeeze and I blow.
Literally, I come so hard I think I see Suzaku\'s red light engulfing the both
of us. Is it my overactive imagination
again? I don\'t give a fuck.
too.
Wait a minute....He never DID say that he loves me.
Does it matter? Fuck, yes!
"Chiri..." I begin softly, still recovering from the intensity of his
ministrations. I don\'t really know
exactly how to ask him.
As if he can read my mind, he smiles and kisses me gently and says, "I
love you, Tasuki. For a long time
now. That was beautiful.
Shit, only Chichiri would say thank you after mind blowing sex.
"I love you too, Chiri. But why
the hell did you wait so long?" My
voice is somewhat indignant.
"I wanted to make sure you were ready, no da.yes\"> It\'s a big step and I don\'t want you to have any regrets.
I roll him under me and begin kissing the life out of him.
whisper in his ear, "Since I\'ve been very patient, two fuckin\' years,
Chiri, I think I deserve another round."
His laughter is pure music and all he has time to say is "Hai" before
I impale myself on him and we are again lost in the timeless rhythm of our
love.
End .....
For now.....
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Arigatou, minna!
Well…?