Proud to be an American?!
Proud to be an American?!
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I wrote this the day after the primary election in my state
where a constitutional amendment was passed that says that “marriage shall only
be valid between one man and one woman.”
Basica I g I got pissed and this is what came out.
administration :-) conservative Republicans, any fans of John Ashcroft,
President Bush and the Christian Coalition probably shouldn’t read this, you
have been warned.
Standard Disclaimer:
I don’t own them, Sanami Matoh
does, don’t sue me, I don’t make money from this, blah… blah… blah…
Words and Lyrics for the Song “I’m Proud to be an American”
are property of Lee Greenwood.
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Proud to Be an
American?!
By:
Ryo glanced
at his watch for the second time in fifteen minutes and tapped his foot.
stairs for ten minutes for Bikky and Carol to arrive
for a picnic style dinner on the rooftop of the precinct before watching the
fireworks display that would go off in the harbor.
already, where are they?” He wondered
aloud.
“Relax
man! They’ll be here,
you’ve got plenty of time till the show!”
Said Ted asretureturned from the conference room with
a can of soda. “Besides, they’re
Ted flopped
into his chair and cracked off the tab on the Coke and took a long drink then
leaned back while fanning himself with a file folder.
the 27th had broken down early that morning and the city had been
held in the cruel grip of a 102 degree heatwave for
the past two days. “At least you get to
LEAVE here! I’m stuck until
“I already said
you could sneak away for twenty minutes and come up to the roof with us.”
Ted
chuckled and shook his head, “Don’t worry about it bud, I don’t want to intrude
on a family thing, besides, it’s not like I haven’t seen it before or anything,
it’s all the same you know, BOOM!
going off in the air while providing sound effects, making Ryo laugh.
At that Ryo sighed “Um…” &np> “Oh, that Bikky, but then you’re only 15 so we can’t expect you “Okay!” “Yeah?” “About tonight, I want you two to “Aw, come on Ryo! “I’m serious.” Bikky “Hey Bikky, “What?” “Race ya’!!!” “Cheater!” Ryo sighed “Bullshit!” “What’s “What Ted laughed Ted waved “Okay. He took the stairs quickly, hoping Bikky “Not likely,” Ryo said, “The Bikky “nge nge advice coming from Dee and Ryo both gave the boy looks “Not much, went to
point there was a great commotion in the stairwell as two bundles of energy,
one of which was lugging a neon green picnic cooler exploded onto the
landing. “Ha! Ha!
Carol sang.<
<
weren’t for this thing I’d have smoked your ass!”
loudly and looked at them. “How many
times have I asked two to be QUIET in the station?”
as she concentrated and began mentally counting.
was for real?” Bikky
grinned as he stood up, “I thought those were suggestions!”
to grow up anytime soon,” said Ryo dryly, as he lightly cuffed
“You kids head on up to the roof, I’ll be there in a second.”
screaming again before Ryo stopped them with a gentle voice.
be on your best behavior, and that goes double for you, Bikky,
need the usual arguments.”
old perv on his toes.”
cattily.
his ‘cop face’
sobered instantly knowing that Ryo was being serious.
wide grin that nearly split her face.
towards her.
bolted for the stairs.
grabbed the cooler, hoisted it up on one shoulder, and raced after her up the
flight of stairs that led to the roof exit.
and his shoulders slumped as his orders were blatantly ignored for the second
time that day. He turned back to Ted to
find the flame haired officer still sipping on his soda and and
grinning after the teenagers that had just torn through the office.
“You’d give your right arm for both of them and you know it.”
tough decision.” Ryo said and leaned
down to pick up the battery operated stereo and black Hefty bag that sat near
his feet.
so pissed about anyway?” Ted asked.
else?” Ryo rolled his eyes.
again, “If ever there were two people who were more alike…”
quietly then asked Ted one last time, “You sure you don’t want to join us?”
him off, “No thanks man, I’m good.”
wondering what Ted would have said if he’d told him the REAL reason
was upset.
that Bikky and Carol had follwed
his advice and not started any of the teasing they usually did with his raven
haired partner. He reached the door at
the top of the stairwell that led out onto the roof and he steeled himself
nst nst what would likely be intense heat, both from the unrelenting sun that
had beaten down upon the city of late, but from his lover and a blonde orphan
tempers as well. He pushed open the door
and was greeted by the expected blast of heat that radiated off of the blacktop
roof, he shut the door behind him and headed quickly over the section that was
shaded by the taller building that was to the side of the 27th and
was surprised to see the teenagers helping Dee smooth out a large beach blanket
on the blacktop that had been in the shade long enough to bear sitting on.
smile at Carol as the two unloaded the cooler of it’s contents and spoon out
portions of cottage cheese, potato salad, and other cold sides as well as
sandwiches onto the paper plates, “Maybe he’s had a chance to calm down…”
darted over from the side of the building where he had been watching the sun
slowly making its way past the horizon, “It’s gonna
be great!” He yelled.
smaller buildings still block the view of the harbor where they’ll launch them,
but we’ll have a good aerial view anyway.
Of course, you better chow down now if you want to be done by show time,
we’ve only got about twenty minutes.”
dropped down next to Carol and took the plate she offered him, shoveling a
mouthful of potato s int into his jaws.
tossed a Dorito at him and admonished him to eat like
a human being.
you…” Bikky
taunted.
that could freeze lava and the youth quieted immediately.
sat next to his adopted son Ryo asked, “So Cal, what happened with you guys
today?”
Park
who was performing at the Patriots Concert.”
She brightened.
clasclass=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'>
“Sounds nice.”
fruit salad onto his plate. “You two did
stay out of trouble?”
“Who us?”
wickedly. “Always!”
“That’s enough to tell me Ryo’s
laughed in response.
“How about you?”
or are we still going out for a movie after the fireworks?”
“Nope, I’m good for the
Sunday?”
queried.
“Yeah, hey, is it okay if Mark and
Tyler come with us? They’re only in town
for another week before they get hauled off on vacation for the rest of
summer.” Bikky
looked hopeful.
“I wouldn’t call being taken to
visit relatives in
for a month being “hauled off.”
said with a snort.
“It’s fine.”
“Great!”
pleased that his school buddies would be accompanying them on a family outing.
“What movie are we seeing
anyway?” Carol wondered.
“
“Oh I don’t think so.”
head.
“What am I here?
crumbs out of his ponytail.
“I dunno…”
the guys said it was pretty good.
“Don’t encourage him!”
Dee only smiled as
suggested that it was chock full of sex, violence, and gore.
their dinner as the sun sank lower in the sky, the long streaks of vibrant reds
and oranges fading to soft pinks and finally the light blues and grays of
dusk. Just as
was swallowing the last bite of his turkey sandwich, the unmistakable thunder
of cannon fire echoed from across the harbor and through the city.
to see a brilliant sphere of shimmering blue and silver light up the evening
sky and fade away with a crackle.
“Woo hoo!”
to the side of the building to better see the gleaming explosions that would
decorate the
the next half hour.
“Ryo!”
hand and his guardian passed him the stereo. spanspan>
“Just turn it on,
it’s already set to the station.” Ryo
told him.
The boy jogged off to join his
lovely companion and set the box on the ledge and hit the “power” on won with
one hand while cranking up the volume knob to the highest setting with the
other so that the two men would be able to hear the music.
the open roof to where Dee and Ryo still sat.
Ryo stood up and brushed off his slacks to go join the kids to watch the
display and was surprised to see his lover, instead of joining him, begin to
gather up the empty plates and disposable food containers, shoving them into
the trash bag Ryo had brought up. Ryo
knelt back down and aided
saved back in the icy cooler before finally both of them picked up the beach
blanket and folded it silently, setting it on top of the cooler.
another cannon blast signaled another burst of color and sounds of appreciation
from the kids.
“Do you want to talk about
it?” Ryo asked.
“Nah.
direction of Carol and Bikky but a hand caught his
elbow and stopped him.
“Maybe I want to.”
“I just…”
statement go unfinished.
Ryo let his hand slide from
elbow and down his forearm, taking the younger mans strong fingers in his
own. “Come on.”
roof that still offered a good view and yet would be out of earshot from the
kids.
The two men walked over to the edge
and sat silent for a few moments. They watched the explosions paint the sky
red, green, blue, silver, gold, and a dozen other hues.
traditional orchestra to patriotic rock and country, all the while the sky
deepening its pale tint shade by shade until it was a deep
velvet navy with stars scattered across it by a giant cosmic hand.
devoid of all emotion, the only indication he was even aware of anyone else was
that he kept twining his fingers with Ryo’s, so the dark eyed man was startled
when, just as the last notes of “
“I know.”
and moving closer to him as the next song began on the radio station.
*If
tomorrow all the things were gone*
*I’d
worked for all my life.*
*And
I had to start again*
*With
just my children and my wife*
“You know, It
was going to be my Christmas gift to you.”
“Are you serious?”
former partner incredulously.
his head to look in his lovers eyes and gave a wry smile out of the corner of
his mouth, “Yeah.”
“Jeez, I’d never thought of it
really.” Ryo said in amazement.
“Well I wasn’t going to ask you on
the 25th or anything, I would have popped the question around
Thanksgiving or something. You know,
plenty of time to let your aunt know and for me to make arrangements for the
Penguin to have been there.”
“How do you know I would have said
yes?” Ryo asked raising an eyebrow
teasingly.
lost its humor and he stared back out towards where another striking display of
color in the shape of a star exploded in the night sky, “I was hoping.”
Ryo lost his own lighthearted
expression and punched
hand.
cla class=MsoNormal style='text-indent:.5in'>“Hey!”
at Ryo, surprised at how hard his usually calm lover had slugged him.
Ryo glared at him before settling
back to his close position hear
and pushed off of the edge of the building, turning 180 degrees so he could
lean up against the concrete and let the warmth left from the suns rays that
had beat down on the stone all day soak into his back.
at some pebbles and cigarette butts on the ground with the toe of his
boot. “Fat chance of
it now.” He said, disgusted.
Ryo turned so he was leaning his
side against the edge and had a good view of
profile. It never failed to amaze him
just how even after two years of being partners, and then openly living
together as lovers after Ryo had transferred to the juvenile division, through
disagreements, arguments, full out fights, Dee and Bikky’s
endless squabbles, off kilter schedules, and a handful of other inconveniences
that accompanied cohabitation and usually resulted in compnce nce and boredom,
he still found Dee to be the most attractive and virile man he had ever known
in his life and Ryo was proud to know that the darker man was all his.
that the mans sarcasm, boisterousness, and hard-ass
attitude were merely a cover for the tender, caring soul underneath.
fall head over heels for Dee Laytner and want to
spend the rest of his life with the man.
Unfortunately, it was the recent political events that had taken place
in their state that had given that vulnerable side of
a severe blow and made the possibility of a permanent life with
impossible, at least in the eyes of the law.
Ever since the recent uproar that
began almost a year previously over the concept of gay marriage, and the fact
that it was now legal in the state of Massachusetts as well as easily
accessible countries like Canada, it seemed that every state in the country was
desperately trying to change their constitutions so that the official stand on
the institute of marriage was worded so that it would be recognized as valid
only if it “consists of one man and one woman.”
This had been done to prevent the states from having to recognize
marriages between same sex couples that had traveled out of state to be wed as
legal in their own territory. The latest
sweep of primary elections that every state was holding at this time of year
had claimed a dozen states including their own New York as yet another hot bed
of intolerance and Dee had taken it hard.
The darker man raked a hand through his hair and sighed, “It’s so
fucking unfair.”
*I'd
thank my lucky stars to be living here today*
*Cause
the flag still stands for freedom*
*And
they can’t take that away*
Ryo struggled to find words
appropriate to the situation to allay
hurt and realized that there were none, that in fact, he shared
feelings, “I know.” He said for the
second time that night, “But what can we do about it now?”
his shoulders and grinned wryly, “I hear
nice this time of year.”
“Oh right, you keep thinking
that.” Ryo chuckled and leaned closer to
his partner.
“I just might…”
thoughtfully at another bright sunburst of color and the kids’ appreciative
noises.
“
bunch of intolerant pricks that can’t handle the concept of something
different, it’s not something to start packing up and leaving the country for.”
anywhere why not
still in the
and they’re always needing officers in that state.”
“You see me raiding Quickie Mart
for boxes and reserving a U-Haul?”
returned Ryo’s sarcastic stare. “I was
just thinking aloud.”
“Yeah right, I know you too well
“How could I not?”
incredulously and Ryo sensed
getting himself worked up again, “Look around you Ryo.”
sweeping gesture that encompassed the city skyline and the fireworks going off
in the distance. “Look!
States of America
country in the world’ according to that fuckwit in the Oval Office.
July, the day that a bunch of dead white guys who had been oppressed, unfairly
taxed, their homes infringed, and in general, been treated like ten kinds of
shit by a government thousands of miles away said ‘enough already’ and did
something to change it!”
*And
I’m proud to be an American*
*Where
at least I know I’m free*
*And
I wont forget the men who died*
*Who
gave that right to me*
“
them to know just how badly the whole situation was affecting the two men, but
it was to no avail.
was on a roll
“No!
hours and it’s coming out now. If they
hear well that’s too bad, those two are old enough to know just how shitty this
place is.” Dee shook his head
emphatically, he had tried desperately for the last few weeks not to let Ryo
see just how angry he was about the whole situation and had succeeded, only
letting his true feelings be shown a few times, the worst being last night when
the final result had been determined and he had screamed in a few choice
epithets exactly what he thought of the voting majority of the New York
commonwealth and stormed out the door to take a long walk, leaving Ryo so worry
about him and make sure that someone was there to supervise Bikky.
deep breath and continued his voice raised a few decibels above the volume on
the radio. “What happened yesterday goes
against everything this country is supposed to stand for, justice, equality,
fair treatment, all of it!
things have improved for the gay interest but have they really?
since Stonewall* but how far? Look at
you and me! We couldn’t be totally open
about our relationship until one of us transferred out of the precinct and even
then we had to wait a few months.”
“You’re forgetting that was mainly
due to the fraternization rule…” Ryo
tried to reason but
“Okay, look at Rose, yeah he’s an
asshole but he still has to be secretive about his sexuality otherwise he’d be
canned in a heartbeat.”
“
will go after anything with a pulse…” Ryo
sighed, remembering the time he had seen the bespectacled commissioner in a bar
with a meter maid from the 25th precinct and then two nights later
with the bartender that had served them!
“That doesn’t matter!”
statement off, “The point is even now we’re not being treated as equals.
obviously unconstitutional it’s plainer than black and white!”
*And
I gladly stand up*
*Next
to and and defend her still today*
*Cause
there ain’t no doubt I love this land*
*God
bless the
“I’m not saying it isn’t
but we just have to give it time.” Ryo
moved closer and put his hand on
calm him before the kids came over to see what the upset was.
in disgust, “Time, right, that’s all we’ve been doing for the past forty
years. It’s a fucking mantra by now Ryo,
‘Give it time,’ ‘In
time it will change,’ ‘With time we will prevail.’”
“It’s worked before.”
“Oh yeah?
“Ever heard of the Civil Rights
Movement?” Ryo said and the corner of
his mouth jerked into a cocky smile.
“You DO know how many people died
during that, right?”
spat derisively and
frowned.
Ryo sighs hes he realized that he should
just let
learned there were some things he couldn’t talk Dee out of and it was just best
to stand aside and let the 27th’s brashest detective say his fill,
but there was something about Dee’s attitude that hinted that this was more
than just a case of righteous indignation, however justified it was.
thoughtful eyes and raised a hand to cup his lovers jaw and asked quietly
REALLY about?”
*From
the lakes of
*To
the hills of
*Across
the plains of
*From
sea to shining sea*
*From
*And
*Well
there's pride in every Aman han heart*
*And
its time we stand and say*
though Ryo had just given him a slap across the face rather than a gentle
caress. He never failed to be amazed at
how Ryo was always able to see past the bluster and slapdash reasoning that was
only a thin veneer over what he was truly feeling.
and he raised his own hand to cover the one Ryo pressed against his cheek and
his eyes fell to the ground. He let out
a shuddering breath and chose his words carefully.
was a faggot, a freak or an abomination that didn’t deserve to live is being
proven right.”
“What?!”
sexuality and
people who were intolerant about his bi-sexuality, but in his usual method of
dealing with unpleasant memories in his past, he’d never gone into specifics.
“Yeah.”
away from the support of the concrete barrier and Ryo’s touch walking a few
steps away to stand with his hands in his pockets and watching the latest
barrage of luminance. “It didn’t happen
often, just some guys in school who were either total homophobes or just liked
to beat the crap out of “the fags” to hide the fact that they had some of those
tendencies themselves.”
“They did this to you?”
be no.
“Yeah right, they knew better than
to mess with me. I learned how to brawl
while I was still in the cradle and even if I couldn’t kick their asses, the
guys I hung out with sure would have!”
grinned, lost in the good memories he and his friends had shared then
sobered. “It was because of that I was
able to be so open about who I was. I
knew I was bi, it didn’t bother me or my buddies, I didn’t hit on anyone that
didn’t swing the same way as I did but some of the guys in school didn’t
care. They still threw the
in general trying to get a rise out of me.I never let them see that it bothered me, and to be honest I don’t think
it did, at least not much. But it still
made me angry that they got away with treating me and some of the other kids
who were weaker that way.”
“Okay…”
was saying.
“What I’m trying to say is that,
the reason I was so confident in myself was mainly from two people:
what, she was pretty rare in the fact that she was a realist who could accept
people for who they were no matter what and the second was one of my teachers
in school. Mrs. Grady taught history but
she was also really big on Civics. I
think she put more emphasis on that subject than any other,
she wanted us to know what this country was about and what our rights
were. She taught us that our government
was set up so that every citizen could be whoever and whatever they wanted to
be in this life, whether that meant you wore a star of
David, or belonged to a radical political group, altered your body in crazy
ways, or liked to have sex with either gender.
All so long as it didn’t hurt anybody.
That really struck a chord in me and gave me the extra confidence I
needed. The fact that she got fired for
that statement that semester just fueled my resolve to be myself, I knew she
was right and that the government would someday agree with what she, the
Penguin, myself, and a few million others believed.”
a heavy sigh and turned his head to look at Ryo.
protect my civil rights suddenly stopped saying it was okay to be who I
am. It suddenly decided that it needed
to rule who I shared my bed, my heart, and my life with.
the things those fascist fucks in high school and college were right all along.”
*That
I’m proud to be an American*
*Where
at least I know I’m free*
*And
I wont forget the men who died*
*Who
gave that right to me*
“Oh
“I do.
assholes were wrong for everything they thought and said but now this whole
thing is saying they were right. They
tried to change the fucking Constitution for God’s sake.
need to, not so long as the states are willing to do what Congress knew they
couldn’t pass without being overturned by the Supreme Court!
changes, the federal branch won’t need to.
Same ends, different means.”
looked towards where Bikky and Carol were watching
the grand finale as the last of the fireworks were set off in a near deafening
crescendo of cannon fire and radiant explosions filled the sky over
York City
Ryo ran his hands up and down
back in long soothing strokes, hating to hear the defeat and helplessness in
voice. “It will change eventually
weakly and wriggled his hands out of his pockets and pulled his arms out of
Ryo’s embrace so he could put them around the shorter man.
full equality even after Brown vs. The Board of Education.”
“Well I’ll tell you this,” said Ryo
tilting his head up so that emerald eyes were drowning in deep chocolate pools,
“It will happen eventually, and if it takes five years or five decades I
promise you, I’ll be at you’re side when it happens.”
*And
I gladly stand up*
*Next
to you and defend her still today*
*Cause
there ain’t no doubt I love this land*
into Ryo’s soft face and felt a strange burning sensation tickle the back of
his throat, and a sudden moisture sprang to his eyes
that couldn’t be passed off by the smell and sting of the gunpowder fumes that
filled the night air. He swallowed hard
and tried to speak around the lump that had formed, he was sure that Ryo
wouldn’t be able to hear him over tin cin created by the display, and the kids
clapping and cheering loudly and the climax of the song on the radio but the
smile that lit up his lovers face and the way Ryo reached up and pulled his
head down for a soul searing kiss proved the other man had heard his whispered,
“I love you.”
Ryo smiled when he ended the kiss
and just held
the detonations explode in dazzling bursts and fade away into the night.
*God
bless the
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I took some liberties with the
location of the 27th to give it something of a harbor view but just
to be sure, I called the NYPD and they said there is no 27th
anyway. As for the whole election thing,
yes I kprimprimaries are held in August but it worked better for the