Uncalm

UNCALM

*You make me feel uncalm and I think I like it
Make me think of a song that I could not write yet
Melodies create themselves I'm just a conduit
You make my heart accelerate and I'm on to it

For you baby there's so much that I will do
to be near the sweetness on you
Funny everything seems so new
when with you* - 311


Saturday morning. Sakuragi Hanamichi finds himself sneaking in Rukawa’s window again. Halfway into the room, he glimpses a scene that he hardly expected. “Ack!” He stumbles in his shock and falls into the room, landing on the floor. “H-holy...uh...sorry.”

Rukawa looks up from his bed and freezes as he recognizes the shock of red hair. “... Ha... Ha..na...?” He then yanks the covers from beneath him to cover his body. “What the fuck are you doing here?!” he cries, as red as a lobster.

“Ah...um...well, you know...it's Saturday...and we usually...ah...what are YOU doing?” *Is that the...whoa...*

*Saturday... fuck...* Rukawa thinks to himself. “Wh-what's what? L-learn to use the door, do'aho!”

“Excuse me, but I thought YOU wanted me to use the window so your mother wouldn't get suspicious of what we do...what? I said what are you doing, not what's that! But...what do you have there?” The redhead struggles to stand up and makes his way to the bed, where he starts crawling over the bed toward Rukawa.

Rukawa tries to squirm away from Hanamichi's hands. “Go away, bakay-nnh!!” He can't help it as a moan escapes his lips and he squirms more violently than before.

Sakuragi crawls over Rukawa till he's balanced on hands and knees above him, then pulls the covers down. “Looks like you were getting impatient,” he grins as he looks over a naked Rukawa. “Now what is that you have in your hand?” The grin turns evil. “And where's the other end of it?”

Rukawa feels his face burn in embarrassment. “I- I- I- I just wanted to, I mean, you said that YOU wanted to.. I mean.…” He gulps as Hanamichi grins lecherously.

“*I* wanted to? What exactly did I want?” Sakuragi taunts Rukawa by slowly reaching down toward the area between his legs.

“Y- y- you wanted... this...” Rukawa turns to his side, revealing what his hand is holding: a thick, dark purple vibrator. As Rukawa squirms some more beneath Hanamichi’s gaze, each movement sends small jolts of pleasure into his body, making him sigh in pleasure.

“Damn kitsune, you look so fucking hot right now...” Sakuragi murmurs. He reaches for the vibrator and wraps his hand around it, giving it a tiny push. “You want some help with that?”

“Nnh! Ah, hai...” The dark-haired boy’s voice becomes slightly huskier at Hanamichi’s praise and he lets go of the rubbery length.

The redhead bites his lip as he watches Rukawa writhe in pleasure. “You are the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen, you know that?” He slowly pushes the toy deeper inside Rukawa. *Damn, this is the closest I’ve gotten to actually doing him...*

“A-aahh, mmh, that's so good... nnh, Hana...” Rukawa gasps as the vibrator’s length brushes against his inner walls.

“You wmoremore?” *I haven't hit any resistance yet...oh, there it is.* When he can't push it any deeper, Hanamichi slooowly pulls the toy out a bit.

“A-ahhhn.…” Rukawa turns slightly and looks up at the other boy. “Prick, don't be so slow...” He wiggles his ass slightly to make Hanamichi go faster.

“Oh, you're in a hurry now?” Sakuragi teases. “Why'st? At? Are you so hard you can't stand it? You need it *now*?” He asks as he pushes back in somewhat hard.

“A-AAHhh!!” Rukawa grasps the bed sheets as he cries out. “F-fuck, more...” He looks up at Hanamichi with slightly wet eyes. “Please...”

“If you say so, kitsune.” Sakuragi decides he likes Rukawa being completely naked and at his mercy while he is still fully clothed. *He's so hot...* He starts moving the vibrator in and out, still rather slowly, and slides down Rukawa's body to take his erection into his mouth.

“A-aahh! Nnnh, oh yeah...” The double sensation of the rubbery length inside him and the moist mouth on his dick causes shivers to run along Rukawa’s body. He gasps for breath as he tries desperately to stay in control. “Nnh.. mh!”

*Ah god, I want him so bad…* Sakuragi moves his head up and down as slowly as he moves the vibrator. *Hey wait a second, shouldn't there be a way to turn this thing on?* He feels around with his thumb for a switch on the vibrator, which is not on, and pushes it all the way back, suddenly feeling the intense vibrations through his hand.

Rukawa’s eyes widen as the piece inside him suddenly sends jolt upon jolt of tickling, teasing pleasure through his body. “A-AAaahh!! Mmmmh! Oh god, yes! Ha-Hana!!”

The redhead grabs one of Rukawa's knees and pushes on it so that he moves his leg out and up. He starts moving the toy faster and sucks harder. *Mm, kitsune...only I get to hear you scream like that...and maybe the neighbors, heheh...*

Rukawa brings his hands up above his head to keep them from grabbing Hana’s short, red locks of hair and using him as his fuck-toy. “Mmmh, ahhnnnnn... ah, Hana... shit, you're too good at that....” He bites his lower lip in an effort to remain calm.

*Come on Rukawa...let it go...* Sakuragi suddenly forces the toy in harder, angling it up in hopes of hitting Rukawa’s most sensitive spot. *I can't take this...*I* want to fuck him...*

Rukawa’s back arches and a wordless cry escapes his lips as he releases his pent up desire in Hanamichi’s mouth. “Ughh... ah yesss....” He rocks his hips slightly in Hanamichi’s mouth and then back to meet the plastic toy as the first waves of afterglow start to sink in. He shakes his head and looks down the length of his own body and meets the other boy’s eyes. “Ah.. arigatou...”

Sakuragi stares up at Rukawa heatedly for a mombefobefore quickly crawling over him and straddling him. He swallows a bit of Rukawa’s fluids but keeps most of it in his mouth. Quickly glimpsing Rukawa’s look of surprise, he leans down and gives Rukawa a rough kiss, forcing his tongue into his mouth, sharing his juices and allowing them to drip out of their mouths. He whispers harshly, “Oi, Kaede, I have got to have you. Please?”

Rukawa closes his eyes and shivers in excitement as he imagines Hanamichi’s hardness inside him instead of the vibrator. He looks up at Hana and meets his heated gaze. “Show me what you got.”

Flames practically shoot from the redhead’s eyes as he removes the vibrator from Rukawa’s passage and then quickly unzips his pants and licks some stray fluid from Rukawa’s jaw. “What I’ve got is this outrageous hard-on you've given me...” He grabs Rukawa’s legs and pushes them apart a bit roughly. “You ready?”

Rukawa gasps at the sudden change of position, but need soon wins over most of the nervousness. He looks at Sakuragi and he can swear that the redhead is shaking from holding back. He then says in a husky, low voice, “Hai... come and take me, Hanamichi.”

“Mmmm.…” Sakuragi doesn't bother getting undressed anymore than he already is, with his pants open and underwear shoved down a bit. “You're so hot…” He grabs Rukawa's shoulders and shoves inside in one hard thrust. He meets almost no resistance, as the other boy has already been loosened rom rom the toy.

“A-AAAH!! Mmh, oh yeah...” Rukawa wraps his legs around Hanamichi’s waist, and puts his hands on his powerful biceps. He glares slightly at the boy above him, as if asking why he's not moving.

Sakuragi gives Rukawa a rather fox-like smile. “Does that feel good?” He pulls out slowly and then pushes back in hard, but not very fast.

“Nnnh!!” *Fuck yeah! Come on, move already!* Rukawa lifts his hips and urges Hana to move against him. Sakuragi continues his slow, hard thrusts for a few moments before realizing how tense his whole body is.

“Nnhh...Kaede...you're such a sexy bitch...” he groans, then starts moving a bit faster.

“Mmh, ahnnn...” Rukawa gasps for air as his body is taken over by the slow, sensual rhythm of the rocking motions. *So this is what it feels like?* he muses. *Mmh, I feel so stupid for having waited... and he looks so good...* Hanamichi’s face moves above his, chocolate brown eyes now blazing with lust and...something more.

“Hmmnn...ah god kitsune...” Sakuragi gradually increases his speed. “You're so...uhn-so...I can't even explain...” He leans down and kisses Rukawa fiercely. Rukawa kisses him back with equal passion, murmuring his appreciation in between meetings of their lips.

“Mmh…ah fuck…give me more- ahn!... Fuck me harder!!” Rukawa cries.

“Yes, baby...” Hanamichi thrusts in harder and faster. “Nnhh...ahhh god....” He grits his teeth together to keep from getting too loud. “Hnnh, you like this?”

Rukawa throws his head back as Hanamichi’s thr bru brush against a gland inside of him from time to time. “A-aah!! Ah yesss!! Mm! Oh god... Hana!!” He looks helplessly at Hanamichi as the burning fire within him rages more violently in time with Hana’s thrusts.

“Hnn, ahh, fuck...Kaede, I’m so close...nnnhnn...so...” Sakuragi is moaning and talking mindlessly. “God you're beautiful...so perfect...” He stares at Rukawa with half-open eyes. “P-perfect nnh-blue...”

Hanamichi’s seemingly unconscious praise of his eyes makes a small jolt touch Rukawa’s heart. *He said... I...* “H-Hana... Hana! I... you...” Rukawa’s eyes fill with tears for some reason. They run down the sides of his face as he clenches his eyes shut and reaches his orgasm, back arching and Hanamichi still thrusting inside of him.

“Nnh, oh god...” *What...why is he crying? Is he hurt?* Sakuragi worries in the back of his mind. But his body still has a goal in mind. “Ahh god...oh fuck, KAEDE!” He squeezes Rukawa painfully tight as his whole body spasms with his climax. “Oh GOD...nnhhh...” He continues to thrust erratically as his fluid pulses out of him. *Oh my god...*

Rukawa whimpers in pleasure as Hanamichi releases inside of him. He can feel each tremor that goes through Hanamichi’s body where they are connected.

*We... we are truly one now...* Rukawa thinks this without realizing he said it aloud as well. A few more tears run from his eyes. *Tears? I'm... crying?*

“Nnhnnh...” Sakuragi gasps for breath and sags against Rukawa as he comes down from his high. Had Rukawa said something? “Wh-what? I...what did you say? Neh, Kaede, are you okay? Did I do something wrong?”

“No....” Rukawa responds. He swallows a lump in his throat and tries to talk without a broken voice. “I just... I just realized something... about you and me...” He wipes his tears away and calms down slightly. “When you looked at me... and when you moved in me... I felt something that I've never felt before, something warm and.…” He thinks hard, trying to come up with an appropriate word. “... Something precious, important...”

Hanamichi gives Rukawa a concerned look. “What do you mean?” He feels tears welling up for no apparent reason. *Wait, now we're BOTH gonna cry? What...I don't understand...* “Do you...do you mean that...it's more than just fooling around?” he ventures. “Is that what you mean?” He stares searchingly into Rukawa’s eyes, as though afraid to look away, afraid to miss something important in a split second.

Rukawa feels his throat burn and his eyes are leaking tears again, and he nods and smiles, crying in slight confusion and happiness.

“Please don't cry...” Hanamichi murmurs. He hugs Rukawa tightly to him, feeling a bit odd with his waning hardness still inside the other boy. “Why are you crying? I mean...I thought we were just doing something physical...but I’m confused now...” He runs his hands gently through Rukawa's hair. “Why do I feel so scared all of a sudden?”

Rukawa covers his face with one hand and presses the palm of the other against Hanamichi’s back, wanting him close. “I- I- I don't know why I'm crying. It's just…” He swallows and more tears run down his pale cheeks. “I... think that... oh god…Hana, I think I love you... do you hate me now? I know that you only wanted it to be casual but... I can't help it...” he finishes with a whimper.

Hanamichi feels his breath speed up, not in excitement or any such thing, but as though stifling sobs...or a panic attack. “Wh-what?” He pulls Rukawa’s hand away from his face so he can see his eyes. “Y-you...are you serious?” He gives the other boy a distressed look. He again feels tears creeping into his eyes. “I don't know what to say...”

“Th-that's ok...” Rukawa sighs. “I mean, I don't even know why I'm saying it. I just, just felt it and.…” He looks up at Hanamichi. “Ne, you don't have to say anything. Just... can I hug you?” *Oh god, now he hates me... why 't I't I shut up? And why can't I stop crying?!*

“Of course!” Sakuragi responds. He pulls Rukawa close and holds him tightly. “It's just that I have all these weird feelings and I don't know what it all means...I mean, how do you know that...that's what it is?”

“I don't know... “ Rukawa sniffles and, to his own embarrassment, hiccups. “I just knew... just like I know it now. All I need is to look in your eyes and all these feelings come alive.”

Hanamichi bites his lip and stifles a sob as the tears finally begin to escape his eyes. “What do you see? When I look in *your* eyes...I see...” He shakes his head. “It scares me, shit Kaede, it scares me...I don't know what that is that I see, but it's...tell me what you see.” He still stares as though hypnotized into Rukawa’s eyes...and he sees some strange light that makes him feel warm...yet terrified.

Rukawa closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, opens them, and looks into pools of dark brown. A sudden wave of comfort and calm overtakes him. “I see…something I never knew I dreamed of. Something strong, warm, caring and.…” He blinks and looks as if he just realized something. “It's... it's just you.”

At this, Sakuragi whimpers and covers his face with his hands as he bursts into tears.

Rukawa looks stunned for a brief moment before he puts his arms gently around Hanamichi, shaking him slightly. “Hana? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to disgust or hurt you. Please, stop crying. We can pretend none of this ever happened, okay? Just stop crying, please?”

“No, no, I can't pretend it-it didn't...” Sakuragi laments. “I just...I'm just shocked, you know?” He flings his arms around Rukawa. “I mean, why would s-someone like *you* say that to someone like *me*? There's not a girl in the school that wants me, and you...you're just...” The redhead pauses to sniffle. “…You're perfect.”

“Do'aho...” Rukawa kisses Hanamichi's brow. “Like I care about those sad excuses for girls? You're the only one that matters to me.” He quiets and strokes Sakuragi's hair in slow, calming motions.

“W-why are you being so nice to me now?” Hanamichi sniffles and snuggles closer to Rukawa. “You've never been this nice to me.” The redhead closes his eyes and squeezes the boy in his arms. “I never knew how sweet you could be...”

“…Maybe I thought a real relationship would be too hard to hide. If…if it was just meaningless fooling around, we could hide it and not have to face anyone else.” Rukawa pauses to think, and his eyes shimmer with fear and stubborn courage, almost forcing the next words from his mouth. “But being found out wasn’t nearly as scary as…I was so scared, Hana, of what you'd think of me. I don’t t I c I could take your disgust and hate... not anymore. I know what it’s like and it would be so much worse now.”

Hanamichi strokes Rukawa's hair. “I never hated you. I guess I was just freaked out cause I was attracted to you, and I didn't want to be for a long time. Ne...are you sure this isn't just because of...s-sex? You know, first time and everything? Well, I mean, at least that was my first time...”

“It was my first time too...” Rukawa murmurs. “With, er, a human that is.” He blushes faintly as he thinks back on his "experiments." “You know... it hurt a little, even though I used the vibrator before we did it, but it felt better than anything else,” he murmurs as he strokes Hana’s cheek, “Because it was you. At the risk of sounding corny, Hana, you make everything okay. I can do practically anything as long as you're with me.” As soon as he finishes speaking, he looks embarrassed and fidgets.

But Hanamichi smiles slightly. “Wow. That’s the first time anyone's ever said I make things *good,*” he teases, then kisses Rukawa's cheek. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I didn’t realize it might be painful for you, since it...” He blushes as he thinks about what he wants to say. “…It seemed pretty...ah...easy to move. Ne, when you're around, I...I still feel kind of...not uncomfortable, but...uncalm. Like everything's bouncing around inside me. You don't calm me down usually...you kinda me me crazy.” He grins sheepishly. “Until now.”

“You know...” Rukawa says softly, “I think that's the nicest compliment I've ever gotten.” Suddenly his small smile turns into a small smirk. “... Aside from the things you said while... heheh…”

“What's a good compliment, that you make me nervous??” Sakuragi scoffs. “But like I said...I don't really feel that now. I feel...hmm...like I don't want to let go of you.” He thinks for a moment. “Oi, what do you mean, what I said while whatever? What did I say?”

Rukawa moans and imitates Hanamichi. “’Nnhh...Kaede...you're such a sexy bitch...’” He groans some more, then grins his mini-grin. “Sound familiar? You sounded sexy as hell, you know that?”

Hanamichi blushes. “I-I said...um...” He bites his lip. “Sorry. I...ack, I sounded sexy??? Oh my god...” He hides his face in embarrassment.

Undeterred, Rukawa responds, “Yeah... and you looked positively... mmmmmelty.…” It’s his turn to blush as Hanamichi looks at him in confusion. “I can't help but thinking that your eyes…they look like chocolate,” he explains.

The redhead giggles. “Really? Your eyes are so much better than mine though. Mine are so...average. But you're beautiful and unique. You...” He stares into Rukawa's eyes for long moments before realizing he forgot to finish his sentence. “You're everything I could possibly want.”

Sakuragi suddenly catches a glimpse of his denim-covered leg wrapped around Rukawa's naked leg. “Ah, damn, I guess our first time wasn't very romantic, ne? Next time...I mean, if you want there to be a next time...I’ll be more sensitive.”

“Heh... I don't mind,” Rukawa smiles. “You can be as rough as you like.” As if to emphasize his point, he then pinches Hana’s nipple. “Ne...want something to eat?”

Sakuragi blushes. “I could always eat. Ne, I really didn't mean to be rough. I mean, yeah, sometimes I feel like I can't control myself around you. But I also want to...I don't know...take care of you. Not that you need to be taken care of, I just.…” Hanamichi frowns in confusion, not sure how to express himself. “I don't know what I’m trying to say. I guess that...you deserve to have someone who will work to make you happy. And I..I just hope I can do that. Ne, Kaede...” He puts a hand on Rukawa’s cheek and gives him a gentle kiss, then whispers, “I love you.”

Rukawa’s face softens and he whispers back, “Love you too,” and gives him a long, sweet kiss.


THE END!