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How Much I Feel	By : AlaskanBlue Category: +. to F > FAKE Views: 894 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own FAKE, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-How Much I Feel
- 1
Disclaimer: FAKE and
its characters are property of Sanami Matoh and Tokyopop. This is written for entertainment purposes
only and I make no profit from it.

Time setting: Volume
4 when Diana is introduced and is locked in the room with Rod, the crazy axe
murderer.

How Much I Feel

By: Alaskan Blue

I stared at her as she lay in the
sterile white bed and took in her appearance.
Her hair was unbound, neatly tucked under her by one of the nurses, the
drab grey hospital gown that was bulging out at her shoulder from the bandages
that wrapped the wounded flesh beneath it, her skin pale beneath the tan she
had acquired from hours spent in the warm California sun. I stared at her face, so peaceful in slumber
and marveled at how childlike she appeared when she was like this, her usual
makeup washed away, the sparkling jewelry she adorned herself with stored in
the plastic bags the nurses aides had shoved her clothes and other personal
items in, her naturally blonde lashes were still dusky crescents against her
high cheekbones from the waterproof mascara that hadn�t all been removed. Seeing her like this, it reminded me of the
first time we met, when I had gone down to visit my brother, Zach, for a day
while he was training at Quantico.

He had just come off from a few
hours of the grueling physical training all FBI hopefuls have to go through,
and he and the group he�d been with were heading for the showers. He introduced me to the guys he was with,
Jerry, Bart, Michael then he�d clapped a hand on the shoulder of a small figure
that had been at the back of the group, �And this is Diana! Don�t let her size fool ya�
she�s as tough as any of us here!�

I had nearly fallen to the ground
laughing when the woman had reached up with one hand to seize my brothers while
with the other snaked up behind his shoulder and with a twitch of her hips she
threw him to the ground and placed one knee in the small of his back and twisted
his arm behind him while snarling in triumph, �And don�t you forget it!�

She had looked up at me with an
almost feral grin, her eyes flashing green fire, �I hope you�re not as big of a
pussy as your brother here.�

I had smiled back at her and held
out my hand in greeting, �Why don�t we find out? I just might enjoy being helpless underneath
you.�

I�d expected her to jump up and do
her best to lay me out cold, but instead she had laughed, released Zach and
jumped lightly to her feet putting her hand out and squeezing mine with
enthusiasm, �Diana Spacey.�

�Berkely
Rose, it�s a pleasure.�

We�d gone out for dinner later that
night and I�d wound up talking to Diana more than the blood relation I�d come
down to see. She was the most amazing
creature I�d ever encountered, beautiful, intelligent, completely uninhibited,
and had an ego to match my own. She�d
also been through the same kind of experiences I�d had. We�d both seen the horrors that a person
encountered in police work, we�d had the failed relationships that resulted
from the long hours and stress we suffered because of the job, and we were both
cynical and jaded to the point of ruthlessness.
I didn�t care that she only saw me as a friend and a good lay, and she
didn�t care that I was a hedonist that would sleep with damn near anything.

I think that�s where I went
wrong. I found someone who was too much
like myself and somewhere along the lines what I�d felt for her had grown from
simple friendship with fringe benefits to something that was a lot deeper and
more involved I c I cared to admit. I
never expected the consternation I felt when the class graduated. I could still feel the sadness and sense of
loss I went through as I stood with her and my brother at the graduation party
sipping punch and congratulating them both on receiving their badges and she
announced that she was returning to California
and that she�d already been placed in the Los Angeles
branch.

After the party and the rounds and
rounds of drinks she and Zach and the rest of the guys consumed at the bar we�d
gone to, we had taken my car for a long drive to the shore to watch the sun
come up. We had talked so aimlessly
about nothing for most of the trip, mainly due to the fact that she was still
pretty drunk but when we had finally reached the Chesapeake Bay just as the sky
was making the transition from bluish gray treatreaks of red and pink from the
rising sun she had looked at me with half sober eyes and smiled. �You gonna� mish
me?� She slurred.

�You have to ask?� I drawled and leaned back in my seat trying
to play it cool like the stupid bastard I�ve been for he
past dozen years when it comes to her.

She giggled took my large hand in
her smaller one, and leaned back as we watched the sun peek over the horizon,
we sat in silence listening to the waves come in and the birds screaming, all
the while I was working up the guts to tell her how I�d come to feel. Finally I�d cleared my throat and said,
�Diana?�

The only answer I�d received was a
small snore. She�d fallen asleep just
when I�d needed her attention the most.
I sighed and started up the car, making the long trip back and carrying
her inside the small apartment she�d rented for the duration of her training
and put her in bed.

I told myself that I could wait.

That it was only a
- 1
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How Much I Feel