Slayers Parody
Slayers Parody
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Disclaimer: I don’t own Slayers…nor do I own the plot…for
the most part.
A/N: WARNING this
is a parody, AU with not mentioning of Gourry or Amelia.
it. If you do and decide to flame it,
you’re an idiot. I warned you…it’s your
own fault if you don’t read summaries or Author Notices.
remember, you were WARNED!
WARNING 2: This
is basically beginning like the first of the season…same deal with Shabrangido
(hope I spelled that right…)…just in a different way!
Chapter 1: Meeting with an old friend…
The bandit camp
was noisy tonight. Good, that was what
Lina had been waiting for. She had
overheard that their camp had recently come across a nice big hoard of goods
and Lina meant to take it from them.
“Source of all
power, light which burns beyond crimson, Let thy power gather in my hand!” she
shoutedirebireball!” With those fatal
words the assault began.
“Run!” someone
shouted, “We’re under attack!” Lina let
out a smirk as the smoke cleared somewhat and she saw the boss, of course, he
had to be…only the boss was fat and lazy.
es'> “LINA INVERSE!”
he cried as he recognized her face and began to run in the opposite direction.
“You aren’t
getting away that easily…” she said with a smile, “Fireball!”
chaos she took out a bag and made her way over to the treasure stash.
“Hey, that’s our
treasure!” the boss cried out, letting out a burnt puff of air.
“Lucky me!” Lina
said, ignoring them and taking out gold, gems and priceless artifacts, “This is
what I call a good day!” Bag after bag
she stored and then she smiled again.
“…” the boss
couldn’t exactly complain anymore, he just lay in a heap upon the ground.
“Ray Wing!” she
shouted and lifted off of the ground, with another big smile and patting on the
bag of treasure she held onto, she was gone.
One of the injured parties slowly made his way past burning buildings
and collapsing towers. He was badly
burned himself.
“I’ll get you for
this Inverse…” he coughed up as he made his slow way, “Damn you!”
“Well, it’s more
than a beautiful day…” Crystal Ryu said, stretching her arms, “I should be at a
town sooner or later…warm food, soft bed…
I haven’t had one of those in almost a week!”
she did so. It was just past lunch time,
and she was attempting to stay awake after eating such a large meal of
fish. Food seemed to make her slow for
about an hour after eating, when she overate.
“At least my
habits aren’t like that of Lina-kun,” she sighed and stretched again.
she had earned, Bandit Killer, Dragon Spooker…and by other ones she had called
Lina in her childhood. Of course, she
was subject to nicknames herself.
Crystal was known as Red Eyes Ryu, because there were times when her
eyes glowed blood crimson, and the one she hated most of all, Dragon’s Lost
Child, or what people used when they wanted to be crude, Dragon’s Bastard.
“I am not!” she
always said, “I’m a full dragon!” She
wasn’t one of those Golden Dragons either that she had heard so much about;
rather, she was one of the dragon clan, a very powerful and formidable
clan. Actually, come to think about it,
she was a member of the Tri-Clan, of the dragon, phoenix and fairy, not to
mention other clans that might be in her blood, which was why she was powerful
and was shunned by many of the individual clans.
like an overlord of the other clanespeespected, but feared.
then again, her race of the Tri-Clan was cursed to only have one direct
line…one curse she knew she could break in her lifetime…which was eternal.
“If only Lina-kun
was here, I wouldn’t be so bored!” she let out another sigh and started walking
again. She always seemed to be lost in
thought.
fondly remembered that when the two of them parted a few years back, she
remembered what Lina had said.
“Remember
we’re not small, we’re petit, it’s a very good thing to be.
large,” she had said, and with a very peevish note added, “I’m sure our breasts
still have time to grow…” I laughed at
that and then sighed…it was probably true.
Out of all the girls in their village, they had remained short,
basically flat chested and they had the biggest eyes of anyone, which was why
we were friends. One could consider that
birds of a feather flock together, but it was more like we both liked magic
more than half our village and we studied together and both wanted to seek
adventure. Of course, what Lina said
must have changed, because from what Crystal heard was that she hadn’t grown
much and had become very sensitive to the size of her endowments.
“Aye, she’s
something,” I muttered, “I’ve accepted my sizes as permanent, and what has she
done? Kicked anyone who dared call her
otherwise!” She heard some murmured
voices coming from some bushes nearby and decided she finally found her
adventure.
“Hello bandits…”
she murmured and whispered one of her minor incantations, “I call the master of
the wind…goddess of the wind…”
“Who’s there?” a
voice asked and
continued to cast.
“Northern winds
of ice…enshroud my enemies!”
shouted, “Northern Blast!” Two guys that
were hidden behind the bush were thrown backwards into a clearing, knocked out
cold and shivering in their unconscious state.
and picked their pockets.
“I say again,
who’s there?” the voice repeated. Wait a
minute, that wasn’t a male’s voice, it was a female’s voice!
turned around and looked towards the path to see a familiar black cape.
“Hello out
there! I’m sorry I disturbed you by any
chance. I was taking care of some
bandits who were enshrouded in the bushes!”
replied, and came out back onto the path.
“Yeah, I heard, I
don’t hear many using cheap elemental tricks very often…” she said and turned
around to face
my god…is that…Crystal RYU?
“Are you by
chance Dragon Spooker Inverse?”
asked back with a smile. The girl glared
at
smile.
“And don’t refer to me as such ever again!”
“Why not
Lina-kun?”
mean…not like I don’t have my own nicknames…”
“Don’t call me
Dragon Spooker, I won’t call you Dragon Basta…” she
began but not before
whapped her on the head, “OW!”
“Fine then, it’s
a deal!”
and then gave Lina a hug, “It’s been too long!”
“Yeah, and you’re
almost as violent as I am!” she replied and then rubbed her head carefully,
“You didn’t need to be so hard…I didn’t hit you!”
“You would have!”
it was a preemptive strike!”
“Fireba…” Lina
began and
“Fine, I’ll knock
it off,” she interrupted before Lina could finish her spell, “I know one thing,
your fireballs are the most powerful I’ve !”
“Don’t forget it
either!” Lina said, pleased by the compliment, “So, are you heading up to the
next village?”
“I was hoping to
get a meal and such!”
“Do you want to
walk together? We haven’t seen each
other in forever and all that,” Lina said, taking a few steps.
“That sounds like
fun…” she replied, “Race you!”
“No way, we walk
and talk…” Lina said, “How else do you catch up on lost time?”
“Alright,”
replied, “But only because it’s you!”
“I knew you’d say
that,” Lina replied for a laugh. The two
walked together for a little bit.
“Um…Lina, why is
your cape sort of jingling?”
asked and Lina smiled over at her.
“I had a good
day,” she said, “Lots of bandits!”
“Oh really, was
there anything valuable?”
asked, “I mean, besides gems and rubies?”
“Just a Statue
and a Demonic knife,” she said, “And a few old coins.”
“Any jewels?”
asked with interest.
“Just some
imperfect ones,” she replied, “So, where are you headed…besides towards lunch?”
“I don’t know,”
replied with a giggle, “I was looking for adventure but I found you instead!”
sight, and Lina let out a sigh, they had been catching up on a lot of things
over the walk, especially some of the adventures they had had.
“Well, I’m on my
way to
Lina said as they made their way to an inn.
“Really,”
said, “Sounds like fun!” They sat down
and took the menus handed to them.
“Do you want to
travel with me?” Lina asked after a pause, “I mean, I know it’s been a while
but…”
“No, that sounds
great!”
remember the last time we traveled together at all!”
“No, I can’t
either…well, not very well,” Lina replied, “Do you still have issues though?”
“Some…”
said, becoming very interested in the menu, “Nothing different than last time
we were together…”
“So I’ll be looking out for you?”
“You wish
Lina-kun!”
“I’m willing to
bet you still have that horrible sense of direction…” Lina said, “And besides,
we used to watch each other’s backs before.
What’s so different now?”
“I don’t
know…we’re older…”
an>“an>“Well that may
be,” Lina replied, “But we still are best friends, right?”
“Right Lina-kun!”
she replied with a grin, “Now we can eat something!”
“Must you always
use those stupid honor-fics?” Lina murmured with a sigh, “Must you?”
grinned with a gleam in her eye.
Traveling with Lina would be fun, just like old times…
TBC
A/N: I think I’ll leave it at that.
like those and still read this chapter, you have no right to flame, you
shouldn’t flame…I will use flames to roast my marshmallows…
If it seems dialogue driven, some parts of it will be…Life
is made up of dialogue.
Let me know what you think!
And don’t say I didn’t warn you!