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Separation Anxiety	By : KiraDouji Category: +. to F > Card Captor Sakura Views: 2463 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Time
- 2-Suffering
- 3-Break
- 4-Static
- 1
- 2
DISCLAIMER: Kind of obvious, BUT, I don't know own the rights to these characters, the show or anything remotely similar to either mentioned above.

Separation Anxiety

Chapter One: Time

�Time
is a cruel thief to rob us of our former selves.

We lose as much to life as we do to
death.�

- Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey

It starts with one thing

I don't know why

It doesn't even matter how hard
you try, keep that in mind

Silence, darkness, this was
where he would always retreat to; if he couldn�t have the one he loved, he wanted
nothing. The cards were too polite to disturb him so he didn�t have to worry
about the only other occupants of the book. He just had to get away, get away
from his other self and that boy. That stupid, silly boy had given up his own
magical powers to support him � no, to support his other half. A little voice
in the back of his mind, or maybe it was Yukito�s,
whispered to use his name. Touya. He thought
back, satisfying the other half of his mind. Not that he needed to be reminded
of the name of the human that had stolen the heart of his other side.

And that was what had sent him
spiraling back to the book again. He couldn�t understand how one half of him
could just fall for that other human when the other was still so devoted to his
first master. It made no sense, especially with the arrangement he had with
Yukito. Yue often wondered about that; was Yukito what he would have been like
as a human? Or was he simply a reflection of himself: a mirror image. Perhaps
they were really not at all alike, and simply shared a body. No, it was much
more intricate than that.

The Moon Guardian still had not
figured out exactly why his master had made, molded, and melded together that
other half of him. Didn�t he love me as I was? Or was that not enough - was
I too cold? Was that why he made Yukito? But the calmer part of his mind
soothed him with reassuring thoughts of Clow�s protective embrace, that warm
disarming smile, and of those few words which, though never uttered seemed to
hang between them still, even after Clow Reed�s death.

A death that Yue couldn�t save
him from and that, strangely enough, Clow hadn�t fought against. Although Yue
was positive his former master could have hung on for centuries longer� He just
couldn�t understand humans. This only furthered his problem with his other
half. Yukito was much more human than himself, he was composed the same at Yue
was; yet he required food for energy, and relationships with others to ground
his own existence. Yue on the other hand never needed food, drew his energies
mostly from his master (Which was why Touya had to help out, all that weight on
still such a young, developing master was simply too much for his kind
mistress.) the moon, and darkness like the one he now occupied.

He sighed as much as one could
in a void and emotionally curled in on him. So much grief still; it lasted for
so long� Why was it that Yukito was the one to escape from their past? It
seemed that no matter what he did, he would forever be haunted by the love of a
former master and a cherished lover.

I
designed this rhyme

To
explain in due time

All
I know

Soft, blurry images of the past
flowed slowly through his consciousness as if trying to comfort him. When Touya
and Yukito had become lovers Yue found himself retreating to his memories far
more often during their times of love� times like now. It was like throwing his
mind into a box, closing the lid and eating the key: anything to get away from
the emotions and feelings that spilled over from his other half.

�To-ya��

No, close your eyes, turn
away, and pull back. It won�t hurt if you don�t let it touch you. He
repeated to himself mentally, walling his senses from this fierce onslaught.
Inwardly, he groaned; knowing that he needed to be touched again; also knowing
that he would feel so filthy if he gave in to the dark haired boy�s stirring
touches. He felt filthy now. Deep down, he knew that the young man cared about
his welfare as much as Yukito�s� though in a
different way. But he could never understand, every time they did this� It felt
like rape.

Distantly, he was aware of his
back, Yukito�s back, touching the mattress, but all
other senses were faded by now. He could no longer hear nor could he watch as
his body was taken against his will � no matter how unintentional it was. The
sensation of tensing muscle slipped over the top of his emotional wall: telling
him what has coming. Yue stole back as much as his mind as he could identify
and fled to the recesses of the book until they finished.

Time is a valuable thing

Watch it fly by as the pendulum
swings

Watch it count down to the end of
the day

The clock ticks life away

Their first time had been under
a tree in the cool spring weather. Yue could easily call the image up to his
consciousness. The Sakura trees were starting to bloom and the grass was green
again. Though the flowers were abundant, none grew in Clow�s backyard. There
had been a rocky path that led to a small enclave of trees a little way from
the house. Clow Reed had liked going there for relaxation, and was there for
that very purpose when Yue had set out looking for him.

The Moon Guardian could never
remember what had made him search out his master that day, but it hardly
mattered anymore. For whatever reason, he had been looking for and eventually found
his master relaxing in his favorite spot under the trees�

Clow�s hair was tied back at the base of his neck,
and falling over the tree root he had laid his head on. His eyes were closed,
upturned gently most likely because of some nice thought. His robes were
colorful and almost glowed in the late afternoon light as they fell over his
lean form lying so innocently on the earthen floor.

Hesitating a moment, Yue took a
few steps closer and kneeled down next to his master. He was a little wary of
how to address this situation, for although Clow had been close lately he
wasn�t sure of his master�s feelings and therefore had not acted on his own
emotions. Still, Clow looked so beautiful lying there like that. As gently as
possible, Yue pushed back a lock of dark hair that had found its way to Clow�s
face. Unfortunately, he found it impossible to return his hand to his lap.
Instead, he trailed a finger down the side of Clow Reed�s face before forcing
himself to stop. He started to get up, when he felt a gentle hand on his arm.
Shocked, Yue looked back down, to see his master watching him while sitting up.

�Don�t you think it�s wasteful to come all the way
out here to find me, and then leave before you give me a reason fordoing so?�
Clow asked quietly, smiling that unarming smile.

Slowly, the Moon Guardian sat down once more, and
nodded silently. Truth be told, though, he�d forgot why he was looking for Clow
in the first place. Taking a chance, he slid closer to Clow, and placed his
lips against the other man�s. At first his master tensed, but after Yue had
prodded his lips open, Clow seemed to relax. As if physically being pulled
away, the angelic creature broke the kiss, and stared at the ground between
them. Astonishment floated through his mind: astonishment at having been so
forward. But it was drowned out but other, warmer feelings, as he could still
taste Clow on his lips.

�Is that what you came out here for?� Came a whisper that was tinged with sadness.

Not knowing what to do, and having no real reason,
Yue nodded, and looked up. �I�m sorry, I know you�re still getting over the
loss of your wife, and my actions were uncalled for.�

Silence bloomed between them, while Yue patiently
maintained eye contact with his master. �You�re that strongly attracted to me?�
Clow whispered, breaking the gaze, and looking thoughtfully sad.

Confused at first, Yue watched his beloved master
sadden so completely. �I�m sorry, forgive my actions, I will not do so again.�
He whispered and moved to stand, but was stopped once more

�Don�t
be sorry, Yue, you can�t help it.� Clow answered, his voice bordering on normal
once more as he stood beside his creation. �It�s not your fault.� He added with
a small smile.

��Can�t
help it?� The Moon Guardian looked to where his charge�s hand grasped his arm
and suddenly understood. �Of course I can help what I feel. I decide what I
feel, and whom I love is my own decision as well.�

Clow
Reed shook his head sadly and released Yue from his hold. �I should be
apologizing: it�s my fault you�re so strongly attracted to me. It�s the spell I
created you with that draws you so close to me-�Yue cut him off.

�You
think it�s not real.� He turned facing Clow evenly in his stance and in his
gaze. �My love is not a spell conjured up by you as a sub-process for ensuring
my loyalty. It is not fake, or then so am I!� His master considered him
momentarily, but Yue went on before Clow was able to respond. �I know I�m not
human, nor will ever be one. I don�t desire to be any different than I am,
because how I am now is how you made me to be, but I have emotions too, and I
am no less a creature for my lack of humanity. Master, I know you see this.�
Lowering his voice and moving forward, Yue laid a hand over Clow�s. �If you
want me to stop my advances, you know I will at any moment you wish, but I will
never stop loving you.�

�Yue��
Clow Reed looked at his creation from the slightly taller view he had. The
perfection he beheld; the angled yet beautiful features, the sharply
intelligent crystalline of his eyes that still held a spark of innocence
within, the angelic wings and smooth, hauntingly stunning body that he knew lay
under folds of cloth. �I�m going to break your heart someday.�

Smirking,
the angelic creature moved closer still, �To break it, you have to take it
first.� Taking a chance, Yue pressed his lips against his master�s once more.
This time, though, it was different: a few strands of his hair brushed Clow�s
face as his own tilted slightly. Watching for a reaction through barely opened
eyes, he brought his right hand to hold the man�s chin gently and pull his face
closer. Slowly, he was able to slip his tongue past scarcely opened lips, and
deepen the kiss further. The Moon Creature�s soft tongue coaxed its creator�s
into a dance that ran along the tops of their mouths and against each other.
Finally, he pulled back.

Clow
ran his tongue leisurely across his lips as if tasting them, and regarded his
creation for a long moment. The kiss had left a light, hazy feeling in his
mind. Briefly, he wondered if Yue knew just how seductive he was being with
that kiss, and the way he was looking at him. His hand strayed to the side of
his angel�s face, swiping back some long strands of hair that had been freed.
He was still uncertain. I don�t want to hurt you�

A
simple mental thought caused Yue�s hair tie to come undone and float to the
earthen ground. His hair fell freely down his back, and scattered about his
feet, while coming forward to frame his face perfectly. Another quick thought
and his sash was discarded to the ground as well, opening the top part of his
outfit, and revealing the cloth still beneath it. His wings disappeared softly,
and the top was dropped from his shoulders as he sought to undo the shirt the
remained on his skin. The entire action was like one ghostly graceful movement.
The hand he held again, and seemed never to have let go of, was brought back to
his cheek and nuzzled softly.

A
smile crept across Clow�s face before he could stop it and he felt himself
moving closer. He brought his lips close to Yue�s again, and whispered softly,
�I can already see your pain to come, but I do not fear it. I know you will
succeed, and I know you will make me happy, but I cannot see if you accept the
relief of your pain to come�� before kissing him again.

Trying
not to let his master�s words worry him, Yue leaned into the kiss increasing
the passion between them to a blinding level. He felt Clow�s hands slip from
his face around to the base of his head and play, tugging gently at the hair
there. Unconsciously, he moaned against his first lover�s lips, and encouraged
the contact. Clow broke off the kiss, but didn�t move away; instead he tugged a
bit harder on his angel�s silken strands, forcing his head to tilt up so he
could lay a path of kisses down his neck. And Yue didn�t even wince, closing
his eyes and letting out a long sigh of pleasure.

The
kisses moved along his collarbone then back to the base of his neck, and Yue
could feel the transfer of his master�s hands from his hair to his right arm,
and lower back. He looked down again in time to catch his lover�s mouth once
more. He reached out with his left hand, beginning to undo the ties on Clow�s
shirt. Finally, he reached skin beneath the fold, his touch like cold fire
making his master shiver from the contact. Then his hand was captured and moved
away, and he looked back questioningly when the kiss was broken.

�Not
yet.� Clow Reed smiled that disarming smile once more, and guided Yue gently
downward so that they were both kneeling on the ground. �You�ve been holding
this in� you�re so insistent.� He chuckled a bit at the end, and leaned forward
again.

Feeling
himself being pushed back, the Moon Creature submitted
to and helped the movement, lying with his back on his dropped clothes and his
master lying on top of him and between his legs. Clow dipped his head again,
this time to Yue�s chest, licking and kissing one nipple while letting his hand
play with the other one. Yue groaned, and arched into the touches, while
finding the cloth of his master�s top and pulling it off. Finally finding bared
skin; he traced patterns along the man�s back, rejoicing in the small groans
the touch elicited.

Clow
drew back to an almost sitting position, making Yue drop his hands and look up
curiously. �Your wings, Yue, grow them back.�

A
little unsure of this request, Yue closed his eyes and arched his upper back
from the ground. The wings had always grown out straight from his shoulder
blades and did not change that now, except, now there was a very solid ground
only a few inches away, which the wings hit rather quickly and coincidently
very hard. He winced slightly as they flared out below him; scraping the ground
and bruising what skin and bone they had on them. Opening his eyes again, Yue
lay back down and watched to see Clow�s reaction.

�You�re
just like an angel�� He whispered, straddling Yue�s hips, and gently ran his
hands over the wing�s structure. The touch made the Moon Creature coo loudly
and his wings quiver. �Sensitive, there, I see.� The man whispered, smirking
and continuing his touches.

The
light contact on such a sensitive area was quickly going to Yue�s head. He
gasped and shuddered as heat raced through his body. It felt so good, a
pleasure he�d never felt before and was not likely to ever be paralleled. Then
the hands went away, and Yue felt himself whimper. For a moment he was scared
Clow had suddenly had second thoughts, and then he opened his eyes again and
realized he was changing positions. Yue watched transfixed, as yet
inexperienced, and showing it from the blush that raised the lower his lover
went.

Clow
left a hot trail of kisses down his creation�s torso, and lower as he divested
the pale body beneath him of its last clothing. The action caused a gasp as the
white skin touched the cool air. Trailing
his fingers back up Yue�s legs, Clow came back to what had been the focus of
his teasing touches. His breath danced
over the tip of his lover�s erection, making him shudder and grab the cloth
beneath him. His angel was so innocent, always trying to please him, even now,
when he was so ignorant of these pleasures, even now, Clow could feel him give
himself over completely. No reaction was kept back, nor any touch ignored, and
even as Clow was teasing and heightening the experience physically, Yue was reaching
out with his senses and his magic, draping it across his master in the most
erotic ways. Yet, he probably didn�t even notice he was doing it. He chuckled
at the paradoxes in his creation.

�Clow...�

He
looked up and was met with the pleading gaze of eyes that seemed both sharply
blue and softly violet at the same time. A pair of cool hands warm with life
tangled in his hair and pulled him closer. He smirked and followed the
movement, licking the tip of the erection before engulfing him entirely. Yue
almost immediately thrusted deep into his mouth,
moaning loudly from his plea being answered so quickly. Clow played circular patterns down Yue�s
length before he felt the telltale shudders and tasted his lover. Yue came with
a yell and grasped Clow�s head as if afraid he might leave.

Finally,
the Moon Creature sank down to the earth again, spent so completely that not
even his wings twitched in the afterglow. His lover drew back, taking off his
pants as well, and then lying back between the pale legs and on top of the
angel. Yue found his hands were once more upon his master�s back. A pleasant
sluggishness clung to his body with the afterglow of passion and he could only
overcome it enough to fold his wings over and around both of them. They
shivered as the open air was let into the cuts received from hitting the
ground.

�Just
relax Yue�� Clow murmured while setting himself on his elbows over his
creation. �This may hurt at first.� A slight nod from the angelic creature
below him, not even a sparkle of fear. The human gave a small smile and
shivered lightly as a magically created substance lubricated his own erection.
He coaxed Yue�s hip up a bit, then captured his mouth in a kiss as he
penetrated in one swift thrust.

Bluish
purple eyes went wide as a cry was devoured by the kiss. His mind was spinning
even as Clow stilled inside him. The pain was still there, raw and open but
also there was pleasure that welled and grew, helping him to relax as his
master had wished. When he had relaxed completely the man began to thrust
slowly inside him. Deeper and longer each time. Lips withdrew from his as his
moans increased and his wings shook with tremors of passion so hard feathers
fell upon their bodies. He sought out Clow�s
face with eyes that lighted at the expression of sheer ecstasy he found there.

At
last, the magician came, thrusting one more time then slipping out and earning
a whimper for his movements. He slipped to the ground next to his companion and
was enfolded in soft wings as he slept in his afterglow under the watchful eyes
of his guardian.

It's so unreal

Didn't look out below

Watch the time go right out the
window

Trying to hold on, but didn't
even know

Wasted it all just to watch you
go

More memories flashed with vivid
detail, each one either destroying his heart or putting it back together. Yue
floated in the darkness of the book and the longer he stayed the emptier he
felt. He knew now that this is what his master had meant about breaking his heart,
but he also knew it wasn�t Clow�s fault. All humans die, even ones that live as
long as the magician had. Of course, that didn�t help the stream of tears he
knew would be flowing were he anywhere else in the world, but in the book all
that amounted to was immense sadness spreading through him. In some ways the
book was worse than a crowded room for mourning.

His thoughts strayed back to
Touya; often he had wondered if that boy had been what Clow Reed spoke of when
he had mentioned a relief for his pain. His master wouldn�t stand for seeing
Yue like this, and he knew it, but what did it matter if Clow wasn�t there? The
Moon Guardian berated himself for that, of course it mattered it had always
mattered�

The
hallways were cool and dark in the early days of autumn, freshly cleaned, and
not attempting to keep warmth present. To some it was eerie, but to those who
lived there, just another part of the house. The moon guardian liked the
hallways; it was his nature to be cold in the absence of others just as the
moon was in the absence of the sun. Yet, the hallways were not without light:
it was still mid-afternoon, and the sun was shining brilliantly onto the thinly
carpeted floor in slits of brilliance darkened every three feet by a wall
between the windows.

�What
are you doing here, Yue?� Clow�s voice floated on the air like light itself.

Yue
turned to his master, with the same stoic aura the walls gave off. �I am not
certain.� He replied quietly respectful. �I find myself wandering today.�

�Are
you looking for something?� Clow slowly walked towards his creation.

�I
don�t believe so.� The creation replied, shifting softly to gaze once out of
the window, before returning to speak to his creator. �Is there something I may
do for you?� He questioned, hoping there was.

Clow
paused a moment, then smiled in that way that could melt you were you stood. �I
was just going to the library to read up on an old friend of mine, but some
company would be nice.�

�Of
course,� Yue answered lightly, starting to follow his master the remaining
length of hallway. Unlike his solitary creation, Clow did not like being alone
in the library for hours on end, or anywhere else for that matter; his need for
companionship reflected any human�s, a need which although Yue could not understand,
he accepted easily.

The moon creature felt his heart
constrict further, he had never understood his master�s need for
companionship until it was given and taken away in one blow. It was like being
giving a taste of some knew, and exotic fruit, then being told you could only
see it, and never eat it again. Deep within his sorrow, Yue felt his mind drift
to more unpleasant thoughts, ones that hurt just to come into his
consciousness. He knew for a fact that Clow would have never furthered their
relationship if he hadn�t pushed, but not for the first time he wondered if his
master had really wanted the relationship to be as it became. Although his love
was quite evident, Clow Reed�s was not. He knew that Clow loved him, but
perhaps not as he had wanted him to: not as he had loved his wife�

Night
had once again fallen peacefully over the estate of Clow Reed, and its
residents had already begun to settle in for the night. All, except for the
master of the estate, whom still sat in front of a warm fire, in a soft chair
within a cozy room, simply watching the flames dance
as he had been doing for most of the day. Yue glanced in as he was walking by,
and paused, putting his hand on the doorframe while watching silently. A part
of him wanted to go inside and see what was wrong, after all Clow didn�t spend
so much time alone. But another part told him to go, not to bother his master,
that if he had wanted to, Clow would have called for one of them.

After
a few moments, the moon guardian looked to his master once more; slightly
shocked that he didn�t seem to have noticed his presence. Slowly, he quieted
his mind and emotions to get rid of his current confusion, and stepped into the
room. A smell of cinnamon wafted through the air and met him as he entered.
Cinnamon� that was her favorite smell. Mourning again, then. Yue had no
illusions about Clow�s feelings towards his deceased loves, this one in
particular. Still, not daring to speak, Yue knelt softly beside the chair his
master rested in, and gazed silently at the fire; if nothing else, he could
offer the companionship Clow needed.

That
night, Clow Reed�s face sparkled with the brilliance of a thousand tears.

I kept everything inside and even
though I tried, it all fell apart

What it meant to me will
eventually be a memory of a time when

The manor had been
cleaned, the lawn tended, magical perimeters established, travelers chased
away, straying animals taken care of� Yue clicked the list off in his head.
�That�s it, finished.� He stated to the large cat panting in the middle of the
room.

�What
do you mean �That�s it�? You didn�t even do anything!� Keroberos
huffed and flopped on the floor.

�I
put up the perimeters, and made special arrangements with Clow.� The moon
guardian answered coolly.

�Special
arrangements my furry butt.� The cat snorted, and sat back up. �You never have
to do anything!� Yue just shrugged in return, and started to leave the room.
�Where are you going now?� Keroberos asked,
exasperated.

�To get ready for Clow�s guests.� He paused, �You should
groom yourself as well.�

Letting
out a long sigh, the large cat picked himself up and padded after Yue. �It
never ends� Hey, wear�s my head adornment anyway?� He growled.

�I
believe you left it in my room that one time you gave it over to be polished.�
Yue replied dryly.

Kero
snorted and followed the other guardian. �It�s amazing how much you change when
you�re around Clow.� He muttered, entering into the room behind Yue and
starting to search for the adornment.

Ignoring
him, the moon creature sat down and started looking for a brush while silently
commanding his hair tie to drop to the floor. He had never liked it when his
master invited friends over: it felt like he was being put on display. �
Finally finding the wooden brush, Yue picked up the ends of his hair and
started thoroughly brushing his hair. �
And it wasn�t like the creatures they brought along were very talkative unless
the magicians hadn�t made them. It wasn�t just pride or arrogance that made him
believe his master was the best out there; he had solid proof.

Yue
was mostly finished with his task when Keroberos
finally managed to get his headpiece on right. Stretching once, the large
feline walked swiftly to the door, and then paused. He turned back and glanced
at Yue, his eyes softening for a moment. �Are you coming?�

�I�ll
be out after a few guests arrive.� He replied, looking as the he really didn�t
want to.

�Hey,
at least you look human.� Kero snorted, �That�s more respect than I
get.� He trotted off.

Sighing,
the moon creature stopped his ministrations and looked at himself in the
mirror. As much as he loathed admitting it, the cat had a point. Well, he could
put up with it, he decided as he started brushing once more. It�s just a few
hours, I don�t really mind�

�Clow
Reed! How nice to see you again!� Chirped an overly
happy young lady as she walked through the doorway and gave him a hug. �So this
is where you�ve been hiding yourself, not bad�� A falcon sat on her shoulder,
looking here and there with eyes that showed intellect. He ruffled his feathers
once then inclined his head at Clow.

The
magician smiled, �It is good to see you too, Soya, please have a seat.� He
answered, giving a smiling nod to the bird.
He led the women over to a sofa where she smoothed out her simple, silk
grey dress and fixed her wavy red hair before sitting down.

She
smiled at him, as her partner fluttered to a roost on the fireplace. �I�m the
first one here, I take it.�

�Yes,�
Clow replied politely, �But don�t think you�ll get to hear anything before
anyone else.� He added lightly. Soya chuckled once and conjured up some tea for
herself. �But don�t worry; you�ll have some company while we�re waiting for
everyone else.�

Keroberos
padded in a second later looking at the new arrival and smiling. �I didn�t know
you had a lady friend coming over!� He laughed and leapt over to her feet,
sitting next to them.

Both
magic-users chuckled, Clow scratched his creation�s ears, �Soya, this is Keroberos; I think you�ll find him very entertaining.�

�Indeed.�
She laughed, and petted him as well. �Well Keroberos,
tell me about yourself��

Clow
Reed left the room to wait by the door for more guests; he glanced once down
the hall, and gave one small, sad sigh before continuing to his destination.

Yue
walked lightly through the corridor, a soft silver light emanating from him as
it always did at night. He didn�t bother with the few stray pieces of hair that
fell over his shoulders because Clow liked it that way. His wings twitched once
as he paused outside the patio door and listened to the light conversation and
soft laughter coming from the half-room on the other side of the doors. Then,
opened one door as quietly as possible, folded his wings back and slipped
through to the lukewarm air of the night.

A
few of Clow Reed�s guests watched this new figure enter, a soft silver glow
flooding the area as the moon might have if it were out that night. More looked
up as the creature that wore a stoic air about him as a cloak moved to stand
silently beside their host. Soya spoke up first, gesturing with her wine glass.

�And
who is this, Clow?� She questioned, smiling brightly and moved closer. �Aren�t
you going to introduce us?�

Clow
chuckled, as his friends moved a bit closer to his icily calm companion. Just the opposite of me, always so closed off and cold in
public. He thought amusedly. �This is Yue.� He spoke aloud.

�So
this is the one we�ve been hearing about.� Spoke a man with graying hair and
dark clothes. �Very well done, Clow.� He added before
sipping his drink.

�He
looks almost human.� Another added, his green eyes sparkling at the thought.
�How�d you do that?�

�Looks
and feels like a human.� Clow corrected, still smiling, �It just took a lot of
extra planning.� He answered politely.

Another
lady walked up and inspected Yue from a short height and through short brown
hair. She moved around to the back. Yue let out a yip of indignation when she
tugged on his hair, and turned to look frostily at her. She chuckled, �That
hair certainly is long, Clow, don�t you think you went a little overboard
there?� She winked back at Yue, ignoring his gaze.

�Well,
perhaps, but I like it.� Clow replied good-naturedly.

Soya
drew in closer, and pushed some of the moon creature�s hair back, causing him
to look at her. She chuckled a bit, �There, now we can see him.� She moved in
real close, as if inspecting his face. �He�s cute!� She chirped suddenly,
dinging his nose and giggling.

It
was all Yue could do not to turn bright red and grab at his nose. A soft
laughter rose among the crowd. �Thank you, Lady Soya; I don�t believe anyone
has put it quite that way before.� He finally answered dryly.

A
third man, this one built like a soldier with a blond beard and hair, and
strange blue eyes that Yue couldn�t place spoke up from the back. �A sense of
humor, how�d you do that?�

Soya
chuckled again and glanced at Clow. � By this point Yue had concluded she was
slightly intoxicated. � �I didn�t do anything but give him life, everything
else is his own.� The host replied casually laying a hand on Yue�s shoulder.
�Come now, I don�t want him to turn into a statue, let�s continue our
conversation sitting down.� He offered, smiling as usual.

Silently
thanking his master, the moon guardian took a seat beside Clow at the table,
while Keroberos sat next to him on the floor. A few
people looked slightly surprised at this, as all their pets were either behind
them or elsewhere. Soya came over and nudged Yue�s wings a bit, indicating she
wanted to sit next him. Groaning inwardly, the guardian managed a small smile
and let his wings disappear.

�That�s
handy.� Soya stated, still smiling, getting a few agreeing nods from the rest
of the group.

Clow
silently withdrew a seemingly bare, leather book from his robes and set it on
the table, a murmur arose from the gathered guests as they looked at it.
�Rather plain for this new form of magic you wanted to show us, Clow.� Commented the man with graying hair and dark clothing.

�Plain for now, yes.� His host conceded. �But you must
remember that both Yue and Keroberos are its judge
and guardian, so they will add to its decoration when it is time for them to
complete it, Adzuki-san.� Yue�s eyes softened ever so slightly, then stared twice as cold as before. Adzuki just nodded a
small smirk on his lips. Gently opening the book, Clow Reed flicked his wrist
once, sending a card out to each of the guests present. �These are what I
wished to show you. They are a combination of summoning, elemental, spirit, and
my own imagination.� He explained.

The
magic-users carefully picked up the card in front of them, and turned it over
while muttering to either themselves of the person nearby. Across the table
from Yue sat the man that looked more like a soldier than a magician, he sat
looking at his card intensely, then paused and drew it close, trying to make
out the odd language on the bottom. �The-�

Yue shot out of his
chair, hand raised, �No, don�t-�

�Windy.�/ �-read it!�
They both finished at the same time. A gust of wind blew as a young wind nymph
sprung from the card. It was a simple matter for Yue to command the card to
stop, of course, but it was rather irritating to the other guests who had their
clothes and flying friends ruffled up. The moon guardian looked to the
offending magician, no amount of respect showing in his eyes, his stance or
tone of voice. �These cards, though made by, and bend to the will of Clow Reed
are also activated by others with large amounts of power when read aloud. I
suggest you don�t do so in the future, Lord Saizu.�
He stated coolly as Windy settled down to floating above the table.

Saizu
looked like he wanted to rip off Yue�s head, but refrained from doing so long
enough for Clow to recall Windy and the other cards to his hand and place them
in the book as his creation took his seat once more. �What Yue has said is
true, if one does not know how to control the card�s powers, then its will
shall guide it. Unfortunately, most are elementally or spiritually based,
therefore the primitive thought process.�

The others nodded, a few
re-adjusting their clothing and calming down their pets. Saizu
stood, �Is this all you wanted to show us?�

�No, I also wanted to
tell you that these cards will be the only magic known centuries from now.�
Some angered and shocked faces, but Clow rose from the table, turning as he
continued to speak. �I, as all of you, am extremely disheartened by this. So
what I wanted to do was show you my advances in hope that it will spark some
thoughts of your own. You are all very skilled, and I do not wish to see such
knowledge be thrown away. What I would advise is to acquire disciples and teach
them, don�t keep the wisdom to yourself anymore. I will do this through my lineage
and have made further arrangements for what is to come; I hope all of you will
do the same.� He finished, standing a bit away from the group and looking at
them with a sad, serious expression.

Kerberos got up from his
spot and trotted over to Clow, nuzzling his leg softly for support, while all
Yue could do was sit and keep to himself. A profound silence settled over the
guests as they let the information sink in. After a few minutes past, Soya
stood, and walked over to Clow, touching his shoulder lightly. �I thank you for
the advice, dear friend.� she answered quietly, and then turned to the group
with a small smile. �Well, I think we�ll all take the advice to heart.� A few
muttered affirmatives and the rest nodded. �Now, shall we not continue sharing
for tonight? I don�t wish to leave burdened so heavily without merriment.�

They began milling around
again, talking with each other; Saizu walked over to
Clow after Yue himself had done the same. �I�m really intrigued to know how you
achieved such animate servants, Clow.� He began, seeming to ignore Yue and Keroberos both of whom were trying for Clow�s sake not to
glare. A small dot of light shown on the ground and a small figure wavered into
a view. It was a young girl no higher than Yue�s waist with deep, large green
eyes that had no pupil and wavy forest green hair. Her hands were webbed and
long, and she was dressed in a simple dress of flowers. She smiled, but her
eyes were blank. �This is Suza; I�ve been working on
her for a while now and haven�t been able to come near what you�ve achieved.�
He explained, almost asking for help.

Kneeling, the moon
creature looked at Suza; she turned to him in
response. It was automatic, he observed, there was no recognition of another
being resting in her pupil-less eyes. Both magicians watched this movement
carefully, one waiting for the other to call back his pet, and the master
gazing down with pride that his own creation was assessing the situation. �You
created a sentient being and gave her response, actions, from what I can tell
personality as well, but you did not� connect her.� Yue finally explained
quietly. �The life is separate from the entity�� He continued trying to explain
what he was feeling from the young girl. He extended his right hand to the
figure�s temple, �Try doing� this.� As he finished his sentence a strong flow
of magic snapped into Suza and clicked into place.
She blinked once, then looked at him and smiled before turning back to her
master, and siding next to his leg, the spark now filling her pupil-less eyes.
Yue stood up.

Saizu
bristled with anger, and withheld it quickly as jealousy from being showed up
like that crept in as well. He smirked, �I see you�ve also taught him some nice
tricks.�

That struck deep, for a
moment Yue wished that the magician had kicked him while he was still kneeling
so he could at least retaliate, but he couldn�t now, so he just bit the inside
of his cheek and tried not to glare too hard. He looked to the cold sky once,
and then turned to Clow. �I�ll go get that extra tea you wanted now, Master.�
He stated as quiet and as respectful as he could manage before walking back
through the patio doors and deep within the house.

I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

The moon creature watched
the last guest leave as he stood beside his master. Clow gave a long sigh,
looking very worn, and for once, old. The very thought
made Yue�s heart freeze over solid, turning his eyes to diamonds that twisted
the light to keep his grief from showing. His master turned from the door, and
started walking slowly down the hallway to his room as if in deep thought. Yue
followed closely, his light illuminating the halls just enough for them to see.
Clow paused in the entrance to his room, on hand on the doorframe, before
turning around suddenly and looking at Yue closely, as if inspecting him.

His
creature stood silently, meeting his gaze once before it swept over the
entirety of its body: memorizing each detail lying beneath creases of clothing.
Finally, that inspecting gaze came to rest on the adornment fitted upon Yue�s
left ear. Feeling the intense stare fix on the piece of metal, Yue looked back
at Clow with a solemn question in his eyes.

�I
made that for you and Keroberos as a gift,� He sighed
and his shoulders drooped as an unseen weight fell upon them. �But they saw it
as a tag. I have marked you as nothing more than pets.�

He
feels bad for what they are like. Yue realized with a shock. �I still see
it as a gift; it always has been and always will be an endearment to me.� His
master didn�t seem convinced, so he went on. �I don�t mind��

Black hair swung softly as
Clow shook his head, �I saw your reaction; I felt your reaction to what Saizu did. If you had reacted differently, I would have
asked him to leave.�

One
of Yue�s wings enfolded, and brushed the man gently. �It�s alright, Master.� He
extended his hand slowly as well, �I have grown used to it, and I have you:
that is enough.�

Clow
caught the soft skin of his angel�s wrist. It was wrong, he made Yue like this,
he make him accept anything if only to keep him happy or in good standing. He
couldn�t stand that cool touch, not tonight� �Not tonight, Yue.� The hand was
instantly withdrawn and the wing refolded. �I need some time to think.�

�As you wish.� The moon creature murmured and pulled back,
sadness and concern welled inside him, gathering like a hot power behind his
eyes, then was scattered through those diamonds and refracted into the light.
�I�ll get you some tea-�

�No,
go to bed.� Clow answered, then saw his lover withdraw and hastened to add,
�You won�t do me any good half asleep because you stayed up all night
worrying.� A smile spread across his lips. �I just have some things I want to
sort out, I�ll be fine.�

Yue
felt torn apart; a part of him wanting desperately to console his master, and
the other part wishing only to follow Clow�s commands and hope that would
please him. He looked away mutely, and bowed slightly, indicating his
acceptance of an order, then went swiftly down the hallway. What did I do
wrong? He thought, leaning against his door a moment before walking to his
bed and making his wings disappear. If he�s unhappy it must be something I
did� but what? I was polite and I followed his orders� Clow, why are you so
sad? Why won�t you let me help? He peeled off his clothes, and slid into a
bed that, like everything else, Clow had provided. He curled up, not tired,
never tired, and not wanting to dream.

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

Clow watched Yue
with soft eyes until the angelic creature had left his cone of vision, then
sighed, suddenly feeling much more tired. Turning, he stepped into his chambers
and closed the door behind him. He began to absently change from day clothes to
his nightclothes. The sounds made by the cloth as it slid off his body or on
were the only piece of reality that made it to his mind. His thoughts were down
the hall, resting silently on his elegant creation. �Pet. he corrected,
sinking into the gentle comfort of cushions on a sturdy wooden frame.

Frowning
as he leaned against the back of the furniture, Clow closed his eyes and let
the light of the moon calm him. He knew that he was the only magician that
truly viewed things like Yue and Keroberos to be
living, breathing, and sentient beings. They were different from a cat or a
slave � not that he believed in that either � unfortunately, not many shared
his views, and he had forgotten that. It was easy to forget now, living how and
were he was, the only sadness left in his life was his dead wife, and the
sadness of life itself. Yet even those
were easily forgotten around Keroberos, with his
playful personality, and Yue� He opened his eyes and looked thoughtfully at the
moon. Yes, Yue, the breakthrough, the one being all the magicians wished to
watch and observe, his Yue.

It surprised him, somehow, that he had never
let himself think of the situation between himself and Yue. He had never meant
it to be such that it was. I have never before been attracted to a man, yet
when I made him it was to bring a sense of companionship� His thoughts
trailed off and he cursed himself silently for being such a fool. Of course
you�d be attracted to him; you made him everything that you�re not. Calm and
reserved where you�re open, cool, when you�re warm. Even physically: long,
silken, thin white hair, versus your short, thick, black hair. Tall enough to
be intimidating to others, but shorter than yourself:
perfect. The word rang across his mind: perfect.

The
moonlight was getting painful to look at, Clow turned away; causing the loose
strands of his hair to fall in front of is face. It�s true that it was because
of him alone that Yue lived and breathed, but it was also true that it was
because of his forgetfulness that Yue now lay in his bed; most likely blaming
himself for something that wasn�t his fault at all. He was putting that
beautiful creature through more than he ever had to go through himself, and he
knew it wasn�t right. Now, nothing was right, but� But I�m still here. I can
make at least some of it right. He thought determinedly, standing and
leaving his room.

One thing, I don't know why

It doesn�t even matter how hard
you try, keep that in mind

I designed this rhyme to remind
myself of how

I tried so hard

He slipped
silently down the hallway, until he reached Yue�s doorway. He paused, watching
the pale form lying still on pristine white sheets. Everything about his room
was crisp, clean, without defect. It was exactly what he needed, and never was
anything asked for, nor wanted for decoration or comfort. A sad smile formed on
his lips, as Clow Reed walked inside without a whisper of noise. Always
perfectly content with what�s been given to you� Soundlessly, Clow glided under the white sheets,
and wrapped Yue in a gentle embrace.

He
nestled his face against the base of Yue�s neck, and inhaled deeply. Slowly,
the realization that his angel was shaking washed over his senses. Gently, Clow
ran his hands down Yue�s arms; warming them with his touch. �Yue,� He whispered. �I�m sorry I never
thanked you for doing such a good job. It�s alright now�� He felt Yue shift
slightly, and pulled his head back, and noticed the dim light catch the silver
adornment on Yue�s ear. Clow frowned slightly from the feeling of utter
happiness that swept through him at the sight of it.

Yue
turned around so he was facing Clow, hands and arms between their chests. He
looked unabashedly into his master�s eyes as tears streamed down his face. Crying, he�s... crying� Clow bit back
a gasp of surprise, and raised his hand to wipe away the tears.

In spite of the way you were
mocking me

Acting like I was part of your
property

Remembering all the times you
fought with me

I'm surprised it got so (far)

Ducking his head
before his tears could be wiped away, Yue leaned his forehead against his
master�s chest. �Master, I�m sorry, please forgive me�
I � I know it�s not my fault, but I am the cause of your problems� I
know I am.� He whispered, placing a still shaking hand to the cloth just below
his eyes. �I never wanted to cause you any pain-�

�You
have never caused me pain, Yue.� Clow answered evenly, as if merely stating the
truth.

�That�s
not true.� Yue stated, looking back up. �I�m causing you pain now, because I�m
crying, I�m sorry, I�ll try to stop.� He tried wiping away the tears but they
never ceased. �I can�t seem to stop though�� He continued, �Just the thought
that there was something wrong, that� that I couldn�t fix�� He trailed off
again, and looked away, whispering yet another plea for forgiveness.

Arms
immediately held him tighter and Yue suddenly found his lips pressed against
Clow�s. His eyes drifted shut as his lips parted to allow their tongues to
meet, pressing gently between them. His mouth was completely invaded; the kiss
going far longer and becoming far deeper than they had previously shared. He
had been claimed. The moon creature relaxed entirely; completely malleable to
the will of the man next to him. When he was finally released, Yue found himself
panting for breath even as his eyes shone brightly from the lack of tears, and
his body stilled from the quiet shaking his crying had caused.

�You
can�t fix everything, Yue.� Clow whispered, pushing some hair out of his
creation�s face. �I had to learn that tonight as well. I was disappointed and
depressed with how they treated you, but I was only proud of the way you acted
in return.� He smiled, and Yue felt any semblance of cold left inside of him
flow out. �And I finally gave myself a chance to think over our relationship.
It was wrong for me to send you away when all you wanted was to help me, for
that I�d like to apologize. I know the extent of your feelings very well, Yue,
remember that.�

The
moon guardian�s breathing that had once been shaky was now soft and easy, his
eyes, once hard with grief, fear and remorse, now shone with tenderness never
before seen there. He leaned close, bringing their bodies together, and touched
his lips to Clow�s. �I know I can never hide anything from you, nor do I feel
the need to.� His hands roamed across the body beside him, exciting it under
his velvety touch, as his eyes met the dark gaze of his master. �Will you let
me comfort you now?�

Clow
smiled warmly and kissed Yue�s forehead. �Yes.� He breathed against the pale
skin while pushing Yue to the bed and setting his already aroused body on him.
His mouth blazed a trail from Yue�s temple to his ear, �I only wish I could
save you the pain to come�� He murmured into his creation�s ear, causing a
shiver to run through the body below him.

�When
you leave me,� Yue stated, giving his body over entirely to his master�s
wishes, �it won�t matter, I will still love you.� He finished simply, nuzzling
against Clow�s neck as his master situated himself. Their eyes met once more as
Clow silently asked if Yue was ready, Yue answering in much the same way. His
neck arched up and his mouth opened silently as Clow penetrated him. There had
been no preparation this time, but Yue would not yell out, would not twist and
squirm, would not cry� As long as master was okay, as long as Clow was happy,
nothing else mattered.

Things aren't the way they were
before

You wouldn't even recognize me
anymore

Not that you knew me back then

But it all comes back to me (in
the end)

The room was painted
white, yet it still felt so dark inside it.
The walls were plain, and there was no carpeting, nor mats lying across
the bare floor. The moon creature felt
cold; colder than he had ever felt in his life. Standing in the middle of such
a room made him want to hug his arms tightly around himself to fend off the
frigid air. It wasn�t even winter yet,
yet� he felt something strange in here.
But, he couldn�t move his arms or even turn around, he was held firmly
in place by a binding spell.

Which was� odd. Clow
knew he would not move from this spot if he had simply told him not to, but he
hadn�t. The man had shown him in, told
him were to stand, given him a light, sweet kiss, placed the spell on him, and
left again. Yue didn�t question it of
course, though he had wondered more than once as to why his master had put him
here. The spell itself was weak, the
moon guardian could easily break out of it on whim, and so he wasn�t too
worried about being able to get to Clow if something happened. But still, something
nagged him, after all; the last time he had been in this room was� when he was
created.

The
thought struck him as yet another thing that was wrong here. How long had it
been since Clow had brought him to life?
Did it matter? No. He thought silently, but he was starting to
wonder what his master had in store for him.
Clow had been gone for a few hours now, leaving Yue to stand there,
alone, in the brightly dark room, surrounded by magic, enveloped in his
emotions. I wonder� Is this nervousness? Nervous of what though: he had nothing to
fear. Indeed, he�d never had to even
think of such things before, especially not around Clow. That worried him, an emotion he was well
acquainted with.

Suddenly,
there was another being in the room with him; Yue could feel the presence
behind him the second it had entered. It wasn�t Clow. He itched to turn around,
to look over his shoulder, to cast a spell, to do something that would
reveal this unfamiliar presence, but he didn�t. His master had put a restraining
spell on him for a reason, right? The moon creature found himself in a
situation that most would find utterly terrifying, and yet, he was only
curious.

Whatever
it was moved, he couldn�t tell how he knew, but Yue had the distinct impression
of a hand reaching to his back. He couldn�t even tense in anticipation. Just
when he should have felt the touch of another being between his shoulder
blades, a strange sensation overcame the same spot. Strange was the only way to
explain it. It felt, almost like a cloud was passing through him, not that he
had ever experienced that. He found himself even unable to gasp at such an odd
feeling. Something had just gone straight through his back, but not out through
his chest, and it wasn�t even painful.

More
of the strange feeling followed the initial touch, as Yue felt something drift into
him. Suddenly, another set of thoughts came to his consciousness. That startled
him. The spell held well, though, and Yue didn�t even blink in surprise.

Its
all right Yue just relax� Clow�s soothing voice floated through his mind.

What�s
happening? Yue asked in return, showing only concern and curiosity. When no
reply came, the moon creature let out a mental sigh and tried to clear his
mind.

Something,
some�one else was there with him, inside him. A small, warm ball of
consciousness was lying comfortably in the back of his mind. Comfortably for
the creature, it made Yue feel uneasy. Who or what was this thing? It was
there, and with a sinking feeling, Yue realized Clow had wanted it
there. Why? Why did he do this? Thoughts of failure screamed through his
mind as he tried desperately to get a hold of something that would ease
his mind. Calm, that�s what Clow said, there�s always a reason�

You kept everything inside and
even though I tried, it all fell apart

What it meant to me will
eventually be a memory of a time when

Clow walked back
into the room he had vacated hours ago. He saw Yue still standing in the
middle, frozen, he hadn�t even tried to move. Clow Reed had not meant for the
preparation to take so long, a feeling of sadness veiled his normally happy,
calm expression. He had not wanted to scare his creature. Yet, even now, as he
felt nothing to indicate Yue fighting his spell, he felt his creature�s mind
stumbling over itself to grasp what had happened.

Before
noticing he had moved, the magician found himself standing next to the
guardian, watching him intently. Yue didn�t see him, didn�t even recognize that
he was there. He frowned, and placed a hand gently on the cool flesh of his
angel�s cheek. Nothing. Taking his hand back, Clow
watched silently, waiting for Yue�s blank gaze to register his presence.
Suddenly, it stopped; all the mental energy just� stopped.

I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

Yue found himself
staring eye to eye with his master, a moment later, he sensed the spell leave
him and he still didn�t move. Thousands of emotions ran rampant through him. Fused. That was
the only thought in his mind now. He
fused me! But why? WHY? His face remained still
despite the one single thought that kept repeating itself. That lump of
consciousness was another life, another soul, another mind but not - not
another body. They had been fused together like two pieces of metal.

Slowly,
the moon creature dropped his gaze to the floor, thinking, hurting, condemning.
I wasn�t good enough. His thoughts
stopped and his emotions ran wild inside him. Empty, he was utterly empty.

�May I be excused?�

His
master touched his chin, bringing their eyes together again. �Yue-�

�Please,
I would like to leave now.� Yue interrupted.

Clow watched him closely for a
moment. �What�s wrong, Yue?�

�I
would like to go outside, master, may I leave?� The moon creature repeated.

��
Of course.� The magician finally answered, something
discernable showing in his eyes.

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

He
hadn�t realized that he had left the room before he was outside. The sun was setting,
and the air was crisp, but he didn�t notice either. The dirt road leading from
Clow�s house to the surrounding villages was empty, as usual, so he didn�t have
to worry about anyone else. The emptiness welled inside him, making him walk
faster, extending his wings to the air, moving him quicker. He had to get away,
had to think, to clear his mind. Yue almost laughed out loud. His mind? Not
anymore. The thought was pulled inside the void with everything else.

Streams
of sunlight thinned as the forest around him thickened, and he came to a part
of the road he hadn�t been on before. One of his senses told him that this was
the farthest he had ever been from his master�s estate. He didn�t pay attention
to it, just kept walking, a calming dizziness settling warmly over his mind.
Part of his logical mind told him that he should go back, should stop and rest
because he had never had to draw from Clow from such a distance, never had to
rely completely on the moon, that he was drained from what just happened, and
so many other things that he knew he should have listened to. But he didn�t,
and the dizziness finally overcame him, causing him to sway and his wings to
tear against low hanging branches. The ground welcomed him with open arms.

I put my trust in you

Pushed as far as I can go

And for all this

There's only one thing you should
know

Light, something
was glowing on the other side of his eyelids. Slowly, he was able to open his
eyes enough to squint at the bright light of the sun streaming in through a
window to his left. After a moment of disorientation, Yue opened his eyes
completely and was shocked to find he was staring at a ceiling he didn�t
recognize.

�He�s
up!� A small voice called out next to him.

He
sat up too quickly, and watched as the far wall twisted and blurred. Delicate
hands caught his shoulders and stabilized him until his vision cleared. Yue
nearly jumped from the contact, and jerked his head to his right, finally able
to see the person helping him. �Who are you?� he asked coolly.

�My
name�s Cela.� She answered, smiling reassuringly.
�Don�t worry, my father found you on the road and brought you home, you�ve only
been out for a night.�

Letting
the information sink in, the moon creature observed the human next to him. She
looked considerably shorter than he was, about 14 years old, with short black
hair and dark skin. Her face was small and round, with large brown eyes, a
small nose and rosy lips. The rough gray dress she wore didn�t suit her, but he
supposed she really didn�t have a choice in clothing. At second glance, the
room looked like it was old and poorly kept. Cela had
moved to get something on the floor; I
should tell her my name: she seems nice enough. �I am Yue.�

The
young girl looked back to him, holding a bowl. �That�s pretty, it fits you.�

Of course it does, he named me after what he
made me like. Before he could comment, though, an older woman entered the
room. She looked like Cela only a bit taller, and
sterner. Her hair was pulled back in a tight bun and had a few gray streaks in
it. Instead of a dress, she wore a smock and pants that stopped halfway down
her shins, with a rope tying the smock to her waist.

�Did
you give him something to eat yet, Cela?� She asked
in a strict, alto voice.

Cela held up the bowl. �I was just about to mother, he just
woke up.�

�I
don�t need anything.� He answered before the soup was offered. Between waking
up and the mother walking, Yue had finally realized that his wings were gone,
probably because he had lost consciousness, and most likely the only reason why
these humans weren�t afraid of him.

�Don�t
give me that, you�re exhausted that�s why you collapsed, you should eat
something.� The mother replied, walking in further. �What�s your name?�

�Yue.� The word was cold, but for some reason, Yue didn�t
glare or fight with the woman. Something about the way she held herself and
talked told him that she was just worrying for him, and utter stranger. It
startled him, after all, the only humans he knew besides Clow treated him like
a pet, and were cold towards him. He watched her curiously.

�Motoko-san said he found you on the intersection that leads
to the Reed estate.� She continued, bringing a cup of water over and giving it
to him. �Are you from there?�

Motoko? Must be her husband� �Yes, I am.� He
said finally, dropping his gaze to the sheets.

�Couldn�t
you tell mother? Look at his outfit, it�s so pretty.� Cela
giggled, and offered the bowl to Yue.

That
was right, these people obviously didn�t have the kind of wealth or resources that
Clow had; they weren�t used to seeing people clothed as he was. Amazed at his
own sloth since awakening, he spoke softly. �I work for Clow Reed; my clothes
are just what he gave me.�

�Does
he treat you well?� The mother asked, sitting down and shooing her daughter
from the room.

�Excuse me?� His head shot up,
eyes staring frostily at the woman beside the bed he sat on.

�You
look exhausted, Yue-san, but it�s not a physical exhaustion.�

He
looked at her in astonishment; someone was worried about how he felt? What he
thought? Clow was the only one that ever cared. His mind swirled with new
thoughts and realizations. �Yes.� He finally managed, looking to her eyes. �Of
course my master treats me well. I just� I had to get away for a while.�

She
didn�t seem to by that answer completely, but was smart enough not to pursue
the topic. �You may call me Aemi. My husband will be
home from market in a few hours, why don�t you eat something in the mean time,
and I�ll warm some water for a bath?�

Yue
blinked, �A bath?� This woman was really confusing him.

She
laughed a bit at his expression. �You were so cold when Motoko-san
brought you in last night. Food to warm you inside, a bath to warm the outside,
and all your fears will melt away.�

That
actually sounded rather nice. For the first time, Yue felt himself smile in the
presence of someone other than his master. He gently picked up the bowl of soup
and tried it, finding that the concoction did, in fact, spread warmth through
his body. The emptiness receded just a bit, and the consciousness in the back
of his mind hummed slightly. �Thank you, Aemi-san.�

I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

A few hours later,
Yue sat outside with the young girl he�d met just that morning. It was strange,
to feel so relaxed around a human, a girl for that matter, so young and na�ve,
and yet� something about her made him feel comfortable. He had never
experienced that from anyone other than Clow himself, let alone a girl, part of
the species he�d had the least amount of contact with. Even with Kerobearos, Yue felt the need to keep some kind of guard
up, but with Cela and her mother, it was somehow
different. Everything was so confusing, and yet, Yue didn�t feel the need to
sort out everything.

A
small hand in front of his face brought him out of his thoughts even as he
heard Cela inquire, �Yue-san� that�s the third time
today! Are you sure you�re alright?�

�Yes,
I am sure,� he replied, sitting up a bit straighter on the grass covering the
lawn behind Cela�s house. �I�m sorry, were you saying
something?� His tone was cool, yet the way he held himself, and the way he
talked didn�t seem to affect these people. Another curious thing, he�d remind
himself to look into.

She
giggled and plopped down next to him, �Yes I was, Mr. Daydreamer.� When he
automatically drew back from their close proximity, Cela
grabbed his hand and jumped up, pulling the poor creature off balance. �And
now, I�ll have to show you instead!�

Yue
let himself be pulled up with only a slight glare of indignity. �Show me what?�

�Yue-san,
is it this beautiful all the way to Reed�s Estate?� She asked suddenly, guiding
him along a dirt path.

The
question took him by surprise, as did everything this child did, but he managed
to answer, �Yes, Kerobearos takes care of the
grounds-�

�Is
he a friend of yours?� Cela interrupted.

��He�s
more of a brother� a younger one.�

Chuckling quietly, Cela pulled her stoic friend up to stand next to her on a
rock. �We�re here!�

Yue
looked around silently, below him was a small stream that looked like you could
easily walk across it, to his right was the house they had come from, and to
his left was the meager start of a forest with some flowers at its base. The
sun shone down gently, warming the scene slightly while a soft breeze blew. It
wasn�t as beautiful as Clow�s agriculture, but it felt so comforting.

�Nice,
isn�t it?� Cela asked, sitting down on the rock slab,
and hanging her feet off the edge and just above the stream. �I come here once
every day, after chores and before afternoon lessons. Sometimes it�s nice to
just sit and relax, you know?�

The
moon creature felt out of place, No, no I don�t know what that�s like, he admitted silently. He sat down beside the young girl, putting
his chin on the top of his left knee. His hair fell to the ground below the
rock and was tugged gently by the wind. Yue closed his eyes momentarily to
enjoy the little moment of peace. �This is pleasant.�

Cela laughed, and leapt to her feet. �Yue-san, I have to
go, but you can stay as long as you want, okay?� Without giving him a chance to
reply, she hugged him tightly then ran off.

And
the angelic creature was left in shock by the stream.

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

Dinner had been
enjoyable, to Yue�s surprise, and although he didn�t need to be nourished as
humans do, he found the food a delightful change of pace. Motoko-san
had showed up about halfway through dinner, and had sat down without so much as
a word or glance to Yue. Afterwards, however, the man excused the girls from
the room, and asked to speak with the moon creature privately. Yue was
automatically apprehensive, and fell back on years of frosty arrogance the
moment the women left the room.

�Don�t
worry, Yue-san, I just want to talk.� The man tried in a gruff voice, but to no
avail, he noticed. He had dark brown hair that was tied tightly into a ponytail
at the base of his neck, and brown eyes that looked at Yue sharply as the man
talked. �You know I�m the one that found you, right?�

�That
is true, your daughter told me.� Yue answered coolly, then added, �Thank you.�

�You�re
welcome, although I must say you were quite the sight when I found you.� He
leaned back a bit and lit a pipe; smoke swirled up to the wooden ceiling.
�First thing I thought I was imagining things, then I thought you a fallen
angel, wings torn and muddied,� he watched closely for Yue�s reaction, and seeing
none, continued, �after that, though, I decided to help you out, and the moment
I pick ya� up, -poof- no more wings.�

The
moon creature shifted his gaze slightly, not sure where he was trying to look.
On the one hand, this man had shown good hospitality, and caring for picking
him up in the first place. On the other, he was asking questions that were
rather personal and surely not his right to add� right? �What is it you want to
know?�

�What
and who are you?� Motoko-san set his pipe on the
table and clicked it once against the surface. �I do have my family to worry
about after all, and although we�re far from the village, rumors can start. I
just need to know something about the stranger I�m harboring, you can
understand that, ne?�

Yue
sighed, Motoko-san did have a point, and both Cela and Aemi had treated him
well. With less than a thought, the angelic creature grew his wings out behind
him, not surprised to find them already healed. �They go away when I loose
consciousness.� He explained in a quiet voice, then looked up to meet Motoko�s gaze with one full of pride. �I was created by my
master, Clow Reed, some time ago, as his guardian. Unfortunately,� he paused,
not sure why it was he had even left in the first place, �I felt I had to leave
for a while��

�You
don�t have to worry; you�re welcome to stay as long as you need.� Motoko-san announced, to the utter disbelief of the
creature in front of him. �However, you should know that your master himself
came by looking for you today, while you were with my daughter.�

Yue�s
gaze flickered to some emotion unknown even to himself. �Clow?
Clow came here?�

�Yes,
he did, seemed pretty sure that you were here too. He just showed up, knocked
on the door �Aemi answered it of course- and asked to
see you. Remember, this is all second hand from what my wife told me, but she
tends to tell a story straight.� The smirked and chuckled a bit, �She off and
told �im that you were getting some �much needed
relaxation� as she put it, and that you�d come back when you were ready.�

�She-�� The thought died on his lips, as Yue struggled
vainly to overcome an onslaught of emotions. Shock, disbelief, fear, even
through joy, the magnitude was amazing, causing the emptiness to shrink again.

�Got
some nerve, that woman; �s why I married her, though. Aemi told me that your master just smiled a bit sadly and
gave her this.� At that moment, Motoko pulled out
something that caught the flickering light of the candles lighting the room and
glittered green.

Yue
took it, studying it intently with crystalline eyes. This used to be his wife�s, why would he give it to me? �That�s
all?�

�He
also said to come back when you�re ready.� The man reclined against the back
wall of the room. �I�m assuming you know what he means.�

�I
do.�

I tried so hard

And got so far

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

I had to fall

To lose it all

But in the end

It doesn't even matter

Yue looked at the
road behind him to see if it was clear, and finding it was, turned back to the
direction he was going and gently lifted into the air. He glanced down at a
pair of small ornaments in his left hand. One was the green lacquered hair
piece that used to belong to Clow�s wife and the other was a small chain Cela had made secretly in her father�s silver smithy. It
was simple, but Cela had been so proud of it that she
practically glowed when she gave it to him. Tucking both inside his outfit, Yue
trailed his now empty hand along the tree tops as he flew.

He
still wasn�t sure how to handle this new presence in the back of his mind, or
the new thoughts the Makita�s had spawned, but at least the small family had
given him a small retreat from his life. Landing gently on the familiar lawn,
Yue took a moment to look around before re-entering the estate of Clow Reed.
Though confused in other points, he knew an apology was in order, which meant
he had to find his master immediately; no doubt Clow already knew that he was
back.

A
small fear sank back into his mind; will
he be upset? Angry? Disappointed? Yue shuddered at the very thought of
displeasing his master so, it wasn�t like him and certainly not what he had
intended. But, if he had, he knew he�d face the consequences even if he did not
have to. Briefly he wondered if Clow had missed him at all, and felt the lump
of consciousness clearly in the back of his mind. It didn�t matter; nothing
seemed to matter any more. If he had bothered to feel around, he would have
noticed that the manner felt like night, like something had changed. But that
wouldn�t be something he would notice until he looked back on his memories some
many years in the future.

Author�s Notes:

Welcome to the reformatted, re-mastered, re� well you get
the point. It�s Separation Anxiety my longest running piece of work I have
published. Still not done, so I�ll warn you now, but chapter five was finally
completed and chapter six is actually being written (shock and awe, I know). This
is much more suited for AFF.net, but I haven�t had the heart to take down the
original from FF.net. For those new to the series: review please! For those old
to the series�. Review please! ^_^; Reviews can be very helpful and encouraging
as well! I want to know what you think of it, what you like (even what you didn�t!), where you think it�s going. I can�t wait to hear from you
all. Hope you enjoy J

- Kira Douji
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Separation Anxiety