Tainted Drugs

disclaimer: nothing here belongs to me, but the twisted little story you are hopefully about to read. But ya all know these two hot men arnt mine, mores the pity. They belong to monkey punch, the lucky guy.


Tainted Drugs
A one shot that became much more
By InspectorZenigata

Please see Tainted Time for the rest of this story.


Lupin grimaced as another loud snore seemed to shake the whole damn cabin. Cabin, huh? More like a glorified lean-to. Why the hell was he here while Jigen and Goemon were out having fun? Fun was different for the thieving companions. Jigen was browsing the nearby town's liquor stores, and Goemon off being Goemon somewhere.

Lupin sighed again and flicked another wad of paper at the man sleeping on the shack's only bed. Lupin yawned, adding five more to the sleeper's collection. At least he wasn't going lose his money at the blackjack table tonight, but he sure as hell wasn't going to win anything either.

"He's your friggin' shadow, you watch him,"

Jigen had said as the two left, ignoring pleas, protests, promises and threats. Okay, so he hadn't threatened, but right now more then a few choice ones were running through his head.

The snoring started up again as Pops rolled over in his sleep, the bed squeaking in protest. Little wads of notebook paper rained to the floor, testimony to Lupin's boredom.

Damn it. Zenigata had shown up at the wrong time. It wouldn't have been so bad if he could have just left the downed man behind, but the fact people much scarier then the old man were chasing them made that not a choice. Lupin had never meant to shoot Pops. Hell, he didn't even realize the guy was there! Either the thief was slipping or the inspector was getting better. He would rather that the cop was improving then the alternative.

Not that it mattered. The outcome was still the same. They had been laying in wait for their pursuers and out popped Zenigata. Before he was able to discern the owner of the large figure descending upon him, Lupin shot; hitting Pops with the sleeping dart he always loaded into his gun first. So now he was playing nursemaid to the snoring lummox. How the hell long was the man going to sleep? Yawning, Lupin walked over and poked his long-time pursuer.

"Hey, Totosan, wake up."
Zenigata mumbled in his sleep, rolling over again, wadding his long coat underneath him. Boy, did that look uncomfortable. Maybe he should have removed it.

Lupin glanced at his watch. 12 friggin hours. That's how long the cop had been asleep. Well, that was the last time he bought darts from a guy beckoning from a dark alleyway.

Whistling, the thief turned Zenigata over, removing the coat one arm at a time.

"You really should get this repaired, old man,"
Lupin stated, flapping it out in front of him, eyes roving the tattered fabric. Another yawn and he gave up.

"Move over."
Zenigata grunted as the elbow dug into his ribs, but moved away from it all the same. Red jacket abandoned on the floor, shoes and socks hidden under the fabric, Lupin slid under the small part of the blanket that wasn't twisted around the inspectors legs, wriggling onto the mattress.

"I almost hope you wake up before I do, Pops,"
Lupin snickered sleepily, imagining Zenigata's reaction upon waking to find himself sharing a bed with the master thief. . The best part would be the fact that, well at least with the darts he normally used, the darted awoke dazed and confused. And remained that way for a few minutes, very open to suggestion. An evil thought floated through Lupin's lack-of-sleep-warped mind, a sly grin slinking across his monkeyish face.


"Sorry Pops, its far too good to pass up."
He slid out of the bed, giggling as he moved down to the feet that dangled over the edge. Shoes and socks were quickly stripped and tossed aside. The thief's nose crinkled as he backed up.


"Damn Pops, you can stop chasing me long enough to change your socks every now and then."
Lupin moved up to the man's shirt, snickering at his little bit of evilness. His hands froze on the inspector's top button as Zenigata gave an extremely large snore, followed up by a string of random mumblings, a few Lupin’s and ICPOs recognizable in it.

His heart was pounding, but Lupin's love of toying with other people overrode his mini wave of panic and he went back to work. Huh. This was the first time he had seen Zenigata's chest up close and was surprised by how smooth it was. One would expect a man with Pops' build to be at least a little bit hairy or something. Cloth puffed before his eyes, confusing him for a moment, as well as ending his self-disturbing train of thought.

"Ooooooo, so I take it you are cold,"
Lupin chuckled, tossing the shirt aside as the now half naked man pulled the blanket up around large shoulders.

"Now for the last part of my masterpiece..."
Lupin laughed, as he rid Zenigata of his pants with a few swift movements and one quick tug. Lupin gave a loud snort at the sight of Pops' boxers. What the hell?

Smiley faces, wearing bunny ears. Face red with a rampage of suppressed giggles, snickers, chuckles and other assorted bits of mirth, Lupin shed his own clothes with a speed only he could claim, leaving merely his striped boxers behind.

"I can't wait for you to wake up, Old Man,"
Lupin chuckled, sliding into the bed, a yawn rounding out the thief's words. Turning to his side, hands cradled beneath his neck, Lupin was quickly slipping into sleep.

He couldn't have been out for more then 5 or 6 minutes before he awoke to a warm arm wrapped around his midsection, a face in the crook of his neck and something entirely different pressed into his lower back. Oh my god. Lupin froze, not that he was moving much before, but he sure as hell wasn't going to move now.

"Aah... Totosan?"
Lupin queried, his voice a bit shaky. Zenigata gave a sleepy mutter, followed by a low snore before he wrapped a leg around the thief's and tightened his grip on the man's chest, pulling him closer. Lupin let out a stifled squeak as he was crushed against Pops. Something the back alley pharmacist had said flooded into his mind;

".....Sexual Side effects....."
Blah blah friggin blah blah. Lupin had waved him off, not caring to waste his time listening to talk about Bob Dole Brand E.D. What other sexual side effect could there be?

Obliviously more then one. And what Pops had pressed against the thief's back would have made Mr. Dole proud. Lupin began to struggle, trying to break free. It seemed no use; Zenigata was simply stronger then him. Those arms weren't budging and the legs had a death grip. But still he fought on, trying to wriggle his way free, until he realized his little grunts of struggle were not the only such sounds floating about. Lupin went still, his heart pounding as Zenigata lightly moaned, his mouth less than inches from the man's ear.

"Oh man..."
Lupin whined, his eyes bugging out as he felt the Inspector moving against him. Only two thin layers of fabric between the men. Nope nope nope. This was way to weird. The tiny snores were proof that the cop was still asleep.

"You're so pretty.."
He stated in a voice full of sleep, his breath fanning out across Lupin's ears a split second before he bit. The thief yelped, shivers running down his spine. The Inspector continued nibbling, bringing a tight yet fluttery feeling to Lupin's abdomen.

The ear had always been his trigger switch, his weak spot, and his On button. The fact that it was Pops doing it may have dampened the sensations, but they were too strong to squelch entirely. He gave a light gasp as teeth dragged across the ridge of his ear, coming off the edge with a small snap. Oh God. The man knew how to work an ear.

As interesting as things seemed to be getting, there was no way in hell he was just going to lay here and let things happen. Just what the hell was going on in that drug-soaked brain of his? As if reading his thoughts, Zenigata spoke, saying something that would of made the thief's day, if it wasn't for the odd situation he was in.

"I'm so glad you gave up your life of crime, Fujiko..."
No way! Pops had the hots for Fujiko! He was laughing now as he fought to get free, but the giggles ended as Zenigata renewed his attentions on the man's ear. His amusement forgotten, shoved out of the way by more disturbing emotions, the trapped thief only wriggled about harder in the death grip, trying his damnest to break free, but it achieved only one thing, which he learned the hard way.

His boxers had slid down, and somehow Pops' had too. But all that mattered now was that it was skin against skin.

"GOEMON!"
Lupin shrieked, hoping the Samurai was meditating nearby, his panic now overriding the embarrassment the rescue would result in.

"GOEMON COME ON!"
He yelped as Pops pressed forward, seeking entry that just wasn't going to happen. Or so Lupin hoped.

"Oh Shit!"
He gasped as the man's grip somehow tightened again. He gave a small wiggle to test it. Nope. Not going anywhere. And he left all his gadgets on his clothes. He wasn't getting out of this, and he knew it. The drugged man was prodding forward with more and more force, almost as if he was getting impatient. Nope. No. Not happening. Lupin began some very strained humming, the "I can't hear you ..." kind.

Until teeth nipped at his ear again. And again. And yet again. Lupin moaned, a long drawn out sound. He couldn't help it. That jittery sensation that had floated around in his stomach returned, bringing pals along. As Zenigata's mouth was working magic on his neck and ear, Lupin found his fight growing softer as other parts slowly began getting harder, but there was no way he would let it go down like this.

He flinched as Zenigata put more pressure against him, almost as if he was planning to grind his way in. And it wasn't exactly comfy.

It was a damn good thing Lupin had what his mother had always called monkey toes. Stretching, he reached for the one thing that would help. He had noticed it earlier, lying there broken, when looking for a weapon of any sort. All that was within his reach was one sock, a comb, and a small vial of the stuff they used to make sure rusty doors didn't squeak.

That was what he was reaching for. His toes curled about it, almost dropping it several times. With a skilled flick of his foot, it landed between them. Had it been bigger, Lupin could have used it to slither away. But, alas, it was small, broken and only half-full to begin with.

But it was enough to make the next few minutes or more a bit more bearable. He gave a small sigh of relief as he felt the slippery liquid splash up between them, dousing him as surely as it got Zenigata. Lupin then relaxed and decided to wait out what was going on.

Mostly because he saw no escape, but partly because he found himself enjoying this more then he felt he should have. But damn, Zenigata was doing all the right/wrong things to his neck and ear, his shoulders also joining the party. Regardless of his choice to stop struggling, Lupin yelped and tensed up as he felt Pops' hardness pressing against that reluctant opening. A moment of hesitation and then the thief yelped in pain.

"Ahh Fujiko!"
The still sleeping cop groaned, slipping a wet tongue into Lupin's ear.

"Holy Shit!"
He gasped, his voice a mix of pain and pleasure. Mostly pain, but there was pleasure in there as well. The air-cooled the damp trail Zenigata was leaving along the thief's shoulder and neck that was the source of that small pleasure. He found the pain was seeping away as time passed without a movement from either man.

Slowly, Zenigata inched forward, moving deeper into the man he held. Lupin gave a barely held high pitched sound of pleasure as his prostate was hit.

"Oh Sweet Jesus, what the hell was that?"
He gasped, voice shaky, but filled with awe. Nothing like that had... his thoughts were cut off as Zenigata began thrusting into him, sparking moans from the thief as that once secret spot was repeatedly hit. And Pops wasn't being quiet himself.

He was murmuring Fujiko's name into the man's ear, intermingled with low gasps and grunts. It seemed a dream one would suffer after drinking Goemon's sake and Jigen's Bourbon at the same time. By this time, Lupin was bucking back against him, his body crying out for release. The shack's only bed that once protested a mere rolling over by the Inspector, was now almost screaming as the two men began moving faster, heat building between them, sweat rolling down flushed skin.

Eyes closed in the intense pleasure he was feeling, Lupin clawed at the strong arms that held him in place. He had never imagined anything could feel like this, feel so wonderful and so very wrong at the same time.

Zenigata was thrusting, was thrusting into him at almost a bruising pace, slamming hard against Lupin. The small, one room building was filling with sounds of passion. Oh, God, Oh, God....Lupin could feel himself slipping, each thrust bringing him closer to the edge. Only a few more...

Lupin's entire body tensed as he went over, giving a choked cry of bliss. Zenigata groaned as the thief clenched tight around him, and slammed in one last time before biting hard on Lupin's shoulder as he too went over. The thief was still gasping for air when the arms released their hold, setting him free.

The bed gave a very quiet squeak as the now satiated cop rolled over, mumbling things about Fujiko in his sleep. Lupin stood on shaky legs and pulled his clothes on. No friggin way he was going to sleep after that. Quickly scribbling a note to his partners in crime, he left the shack. Let Pops look after his own damn self. Lupin had some business to tend to.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hearing the door shut, Zenigata cracked open one eye and slowly glanced about. Good. Lupin had left. Climbing out of the very mussed bed, the Inspector headed over to the note Lupin had left behind.

Hey, Jigen and Goemon,
I will be back, I have a bone to pick with a certain someone who sold me some defective goods. If I can find him.
Tootles,
Lupin the 3rd.

Zenigata smiled as he read the note. He would make sure that Lupin found the man, because he knew exactly where the seller of the darts was. Lupin wasn't the only one who could play dress-up, and he was more than willing to do it again. Wasn't it great when one's plans worked?