Last Breath

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Pairing : Not exactly yaoi, but I guess it would be Saga x Kanon (might end up evolving into yaoi in the next chapters).
Rating : R (for mature content and utter angst)
Warnings : Quite possibly death fic.
Disclaimer : I do not own Saint Seiya.
Saint Seiya is (C) of Masami Kurumada, Toei, Shueisha, Akita Shoten and quite probably some more people. No copyright infringement or disrespect intended here. This is a work of fanfiction, done completely for fun. No profit is taken out of it.

Completely unrelated to the disclaimer, but drop by my website if you want to see Saint Seiya fanarts I also do. ^_^ *lol* It’s here --> http://tokyo.cool.ne.jp/sagakure/index.html

Been fearing to write this fic for some days now…But the idea keeps crawling in my mind, and I ended up deciding to write it after all… I hope it won’t be too depressing. (even though I often write angsty fics, even I am afraid of this death fic. ^^;;;; )

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The sun was low in the sky and would soon set, but it was still too hot in Greece.
Especially for someone who had walked for so many days, and came from so far.
And especially for someone so full of doubts and unsure of how to proceed.

One unsteady step at a time, Kanon staggered up the hill. Days had passed since he started his journey, and he almost couldn’t believe he had made it to the Sanctuary. Miles and miles of a mad runaway, trying to leave behind the enemies who might be tracking him, and trying desperately to reach Greece before the last of his forces would wear out.
And now, he was so close to his goal, but the hardest part was yet to come. That is, if his tired body would accept to carry him any further.

How do you suddenly come back into the life of someone you haven’t seen in so many years?

You can’t possibly simply appear in front of their door and say : “Hi, I’m back. How d’you do?”

How do you talk that person into letting you back into their life, or at least into their house once again?

And most frightening of all, how do you convince them that you’re not there to hurt them again? How do you beg them not to hurt you anymore? What if not even begging worked?
After all, the twins’ last meeting didn’t go very well either. At the start of the Hades battle, Saga seemed adamant in rejecting Kanon. Unless it was all an act too fool Hades, but the younger twin had lost too much to cling to such a fool’s hope.

What if Saga threw him out and refused to see him? Or worse?

What should he do? Lay down and wait for the cold embrace of death on the stairs of the Gemini House? That would maybe be fitting after all… He had fallen so low…

The image of vultures gathering around his nearly dead body, not even patient enough to wait for him to let out his last breath, made a shiver of revulsion run through the weary man’s spine. He wondered if he was delusional, considering how far his imagination was making things go. Certainly the Gold Saints wouldn’t abandon his body out in the sun? No matter how much his brother would deny him, he would still bury him. He hoped. Although he wasn’t even sure he really cared himself. He was just so tired that maybe nothing mattered anymore.

Whatever would be his brother’s reaction to his sudden appearance, Kanon certainly wouldn’t have the strength to walk back from where he came. Back where, anyway?
Not like he had anywhere to go. Or anywhere he wanted to go.
He let out a sigh that that ended up sounding more like a strangled, hoarse sob, and stumbled forward, his unsure steps still leading him up the hill, towards the twelve temples.
The secret passageways that only the gold saint apprentices learned. He still remembered them. And if only his overstrained legs would accept to support him a bit further, he would soon behold the glory of the House of Gemini.

A ridiculous thought crossed his mind. What if Saga wasn’t home?
He hadn’t heard about his brother in almost four years now.
Since the end of the Hades battle.
Finding himself alive after all that happened was so unexpected that Kanon didn’t know how to cope with it. Something inside him told him that nobody was expecting him in Sanctuary. That even tough they had all been brought back to life, he was the only one who wouldn’t be welcome. How could anyone welcome him after all he did? If they had accepted his help during the Holy War, it was most likely only because they were short on Gold Saints…but not now, oh no. And now there was a saint in the Gemini house, a saint for the Gemini armour. He wasn’t necessary… He never was anyway. So he left, once again. And he wandered, for he had no place to return to, even back then.

But now, things were different. He was as lost as ever but he had to see his brother. Even if it was just to look at his face once. Even if it was to see hatred on those eyes.
And even if Saga would maybe kill him with his very own hands.
Kanon would probably welcome such a death.

The dull pain felt like it was eating at his insides. But the worse was the fear.
Constant, overwhelming fear, that wouldn’t leave him no matter how many miles he would put between himself and those who were hunting him down. Could you really run away from a deity, after all?
Fear was a familiar feeling for Kanon. As children, the twins knew it very well, for the struggle for survival was even harder for orphans so young.
As apprentices in Sanctuary, their powers grew so much that Kanon almost forgot that feeling.
Until Sounion cape.
In that prison that almost became his watery grave, fear was Kanon’s ever present companion. Made bigger by each wave, by each tide of the sea.
He got out of the cave, but during the time he spent in the Seabed sanctuary, Kanon experienced a different kind of unrelenting dread. Manipulating a god walks hand in hand with the utmost distress… The very thought that at any moment, any day, Poseidon could wake up and utterly annihilate you isn’t something you can daily live with without being scarred for life.
Prisoner of his own schemes, Kanon had to convince himself to forget that fear, in order to survive and remain sane.
And that made him reckless. Even more so than he already was.
His doom would come from this.


Reaching the top of one of the smaller hills adjacent to the main one, Kanon stopped to wipe the sweat from his forehead and gasped for breath. If he was in his normal state, this would be nothing, but right now, he had to look down and see the third temple to be able to muster enough strength to go on.
As he prepared himself to slide down the rocky wall and attempt to jump from boulder to boulder onto the main stairs of the twelve houses, he sensed something that brought a surge of feelings in his heart and made his tired eyes burn as they welled up with tears : his brother’s cosmo, calm and powerful, coming from the inside of the temple.
So he was here after all. And he didn’t sense Kanon’s presence yet. Not surprising, considering how exhausted and hard to spot the younger twin’s cosmo must be by now.


The sun had started to set, filling the sky with a vast array of colors, but also making the stairway behind the rocks sink into the darkness.
Only a few footsteps left now.

Too tired and weakened to tell if the Gemini labyrinth was up, and not wanting to risk going through it if it was the case, Kanon avoided the main entry and skirted towards the farther aisle of the building, and the private apartments of the Gemini saint. The colossal old wooden door was still the same. Thick, weathered by the decades, perhaps even centuries, it stood there proudly, its engravings a symbol of an old age and philosophies that were still alive here, for Sanctuary was a piece of the world spiritually out of time and space. Its inhabitants still carried the values of another time, and would forever do so, no matter how many generations of saints passed through this place.

Facing so many contradictory feelings and fears, Kanon started to feel dizzy, and his determination wavered. The need to see Saga, at least once, was so strong it was painful, but he was so scared of his brother’s reaction that he felt unable to push the door. On top of that, his forces seemed to be leaving him as fast as the last strands of sunlight disappeared from the sky, and he felt like his legs were about to give out. Nothing felt real, only the pain in his body.

Right when his inner turmoil was reaching a peak of despair, the door suddenly flew open and he found himself facing his mirror image. Only the mirror didn’t have the same tired eyes reddened by tears, nor the tangled and darkened hair soiled by dust and sweat, or the lividity of the illness. The mirror image was perfect, and stared at him with a mix of awe and incomprehension, as if stricken by the surprise.

Saga.

And against all odds, Kanon suddenly answered his unspoken question, with a voice so calm that he felt like he was floating in the eye of a storm, and speaking in a dream through his daze :

“I came to see you…”

“Come in.” – the eyes of the mirror image softened, and he gently touched Kanon’s elbow, ushering him inside.


Maybe it was okay to die in peace, after all.



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[End of the prologue]
[To be continued]

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Sagakure, April 20th, 2005