Why?

Summary: Ryoma wonders Why, and decides to go find his answer.

Rating: R, for the context of YAOI interrelations =_= Sorry people, nothing explicit. My first PoT fic... didn\'t want to try and dig
myself a hole... *to go die in*

Warnings: Umm... you know, Ryoma, and Tezuka, they\'re kinda both guys, as far as we\'re aware right? So yeah. You\'ve been warned, this is Yaoi. Whoot.

Disclaimer: TeniPuri... watashi no... ja naiii... *pouts* I wish... nyahahaha, then think of all the things they would be made to do... Actually, I am thinking about it, and thus writing. Anyhow, not mine.

Dedication: To Suteishichic - if you have not read the glorious workings of this author, then die a thousand horribly deprived deaths. *nods very seriously* My inspiration to write my very first TeniPuri fanfiction~

Spoilers: People, I warn you, if you haven\'t seen up to at least Episode 146, then, you probably shouldn\'t be reading this. This is a little bit of a play on what goes on in that episode, and some related ones. Trying to follow a theme here people. ^^; Nyahaha. Anyhow. Some of what is said, is taken directly from the anime version, Anime-Otaku\'s subbing. Love you guys for all the work you\'ve done, *applauds*. Now on with the show!

(Flashbacks and their ends will be shown by =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=)


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Disappointment.


Harsh reality.


He had finally been able to see Tezuka after quite a significant time apart, and yet, this was not what he had expected; not how it was supposed to be. Echizen Ryoma, young Prince and prodigy of Tennis, was simply in shock. He had come to this camp expecting to be part of the team. Expecting it so much, that he had practically taken it for granted, this fact that he would most definitely get a place, if only because he was that good. But things weren\'t as they should have been. Fact had not actually turned to reality, and the strangest thing about it all was that Ryoma hated data tennis. Data tennis involved calculation and manipulation, it did not account properly for human variables, and in this case, it did not account for one Tezuka Kunimitsu.


It hurt. It wasn\'t a simple hurt; that of a sore loser, nothing like that, for Ryoma wasn\'t that type of person. Why then, you might ask, does it hurt so? It\'s because Ryoma had promised himself that he would grow, that he would definitely move forward, closer and closer till he could tightly wrap his arms around the figure in front of him. So close, but apparently he was still mada mada...


Lying on his bed, Karupin coiled up tightly sleeping comfortably on Ryoma\'s gently rising chest, the cat-eyed boy merely stared, unseeingly, at the ceiling of his room. To tell the truth, he no longer felt like moving, even though his father had only just called him to play a match with him. Che. He didn\'t want to play tennis... not right now at least.


And so, Ryoma\'s response had simply been, to pretend that he had gone out. His dad seemed to have bought it. But then again, it was also hard to predict things with the somewhat psychotic Echizen Nanjiroh.


Lazily, Ryoma reached a hand out towards his ceiling, his eyes focusing beyond his outstretched arm. All he could see was his Buchou. Slowly walking further, and further away. The sight, imaginary though it may be, had an intense affect on the young boy; his chest tightened, perhaps even so much so that his cat noticed and was disturbed by it, and had thus chosen to flee. Ryoma didn\'t even really notice Karupin tearing out of the room. He just lay there, unfeeling, but in so much pain. It was only when he felt tears welling in the corners of his eyes that he sat up sharply, deciding that this would not do at all. He had to go see Tezuka.


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The walk to Tezuka\'s was uneventful, if a little cold, given that the sun had set quite some time ago. However, it wasn\'t even something Ryoma considered out of the norm; after all he had made many previous journeys to this exact destination. Only... that had been before Tezuka went to Germany.


Not having seen someone who was really important to you, but then having them pop out of the blue... Ryoma didn\'t know how he was supposed to act. Had things changed since Tezuka had left? Was anything, and everything, that had happened meaningless in the onslaught of time and space?


Once again, Ryoma felt that sharp prickle of uncertainty twinge within his chest. He rubbed the spot absentmindedly as he kept his steady pace, onwards towards where he needed to be. He didn\'t even realize that his fingers hand been delicately brushing over the exact spot where his heart was located, perhaps trying to sooth his inner turmoil.


He just kept walking. Legs feeling heavier with each step, as he turned onto Tezuka\'s street, and finally reached the outer gate.


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\"Kunimitsu! A member of your tennis club is here.\"


Ryoma waited patiently for Tezuka to come get him. Be it to let him in or turn him away.


The door opened fully, and the invitation was put out, requesting that he enter. Standing in the familiar entrance, minutes passed as the two stood silently. Ryoma\'s eyes fixed somewhere in the vicinity of Tezuka\'s feet, almost as if lacking the power to raise them.


\"What is it, this late at night?\" How strange of him to ask that; Ryoma had never been turned away before or questioned for being there in the first place. But then again, that was before, and this is now. How different the two are, in all the similarity that exists between them.


An internal struggle, but one so brief those watching would never guess upon its existence, \"I have a favour to ask you.\"


\"What is it?\" Ever the swift and succinct returner. There wasn\'t even a pause at what may have been seen as a strange thing under normal circumstances for the young tennis prodigy to ask. However, one could suppose that these weren\'t normal circumstances.


\"I... I want to be on the Junior Invitational team!\" The most passion Ryoma had shown in awhile. But then again, such feelings had only ever truly been brought out by the actions of Tezuka.


\"The members have already been decided.\" Harsh reality. Disappointment. Is there nothing that can be done?


\"Then what are you saying I should do?\" A slight wavering of bitterness floods into his tone. \"You won\'t let me be in the match yet you won\'t let me plan an unofficial one either. What am I supposed to do?!\"


Frustrated tears slowly start to well, but not wanting his Buchou to see his weakness, Ryoma looked down, his pristine white cap covering the crack in his facade.


As if sensing this, Tezuka frowned. \"Come with me.\" And so they walked; Tezuka, leading, walking always a few steps ahead. Ryoma grimaced, this in itself was proof that this was indeed Tezuka\'s territory, that he should stride forward always confident as he does. Would he choose to leave him behind, Ryoma wondered to the blanketing silence that surrounded them.


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There was a single chair in Tezuka\'s room, which Tezuka currently occupied. Ryoma sat upon the floor, hair shading his still slightly watering eyes. They had been like this for awhile now. Sitting. In silence. Things definitely didn\'t feel the same; and this time Ryoma knew he had to take the initiative. Still, he was hesitant in showing his heart to the one before him. Despite his fears, he steeled himself.


\"I understand now. It\'s true; my fighting spirit did not ignite even though it was for the Junior Invitational... Buchou, you said it yourself, right?\"


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\"Echizen. You have opponents whom you must fight now.\" A strong and steady presence before him, one that was impossible to ignore.


\"But...\"


\"There are many strong people in the world. When he has a chance to fight that strong opponent right before him... the person who becomes distracted, and doesn\'t fight seriously, has no chance of winning.\" The truth of these words, would not impact Ryoma until later, and by that time, it would seem as if it were too late to change things.


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\"But I\'m different now. I want to play a match against Kevin! Please let me play.\" The fiercest expression shown on that face in along time.


\"Please!\" Eyes quivering, dancing with emotion. Please. Please. Please! ...I beg of you...


Still unwavering, unchangeable power, how much he seemed to have changed... \"We cannot change the seven Invitational members at this time.\"


Almost a whimper, head lowering slightly, so close to breaking this samurai\'s spirit, until, \"However...\" Expectantly, Ryoma\'s head lifted, to stare intently, holding his breath at whatever opportunity may be garnered.


\"...Actually, there\'s room for one substitute. The eighth person, the substitute. It is, so to speak, like a rebirth after your defeat.\" Ryoma\'s heart skipped a beat, and he could almost see the smile lurking in Tezuka\'s eyes, \"Would you accept that position?\"


Determination.


Rejoicing.


\"Yes!\"


\"However, I can\'t guarantee that you\'ll actually play in the match. The playing order is at Sakaki-sensei\'s discretion.\" You could practically hear a layer of amusement in Tezuka\'s tone by now, knowing without a doubt that this fact wouldn\'t faze Ryoma in the least.


\"That\'s fine by me!\" You could see the burning spirit reborn within Ryoma\'s eyes, in the veritable grin, smug and cheshire, spreading across his normally expressionless face.


At this admonition, Tezuka\'s eyes softened even more, \"Is there something else that you wanted to ask?\"


Startled at Tezuka\'s perceptiveness, but knowing that he really shouldn\'t be, Ryoma looked around Tezuka\'s room a little embarrassed by where his thoughts had been. \"I... I was thinking about what you said. About facing whatever strong opponent exists before me.\"


\"Nn.\" A prompting noise, but also a comforting one. Tezuka wasn\'t one to laugh at others. He was too serious for that.


\"Well.\" And yet, it was very unlike Ryoma to skirt around an issue. Subtle didn\'t suit him well. \"I was wondering... what happened... with. I mean, you... and then. Us? I... I said I understood. And I do, but that\'s only about what you said about always fighting. I don\'t...\" he trailed off, unable to find the words for what he wanted to say. Every time he tried to put his thoughts across, they seemed to get stuck in transition. Thus Ryoma was, by this time, bright red, head bowed slightly, although this did nothing to hide his acute embarrassment. Never before had he sounded so ineloquent.


A strange noise seemed to be coming from in front of him. Looking up, he could see Tezuka, shoulders shaking slightly, a hand covering his mouth, muffling most of the sound that was trying to escape him.


\"Che.\" Ryoma pouted, which also seemed out of character for him, but for now, he didn\'t mind. \"Buchou is mean.\"


Finally managing to gain a little control over himself, Tezuka decided to put Ryoma out of his misery, still with a slight smile present only in his eyes, \"You mean you want to know why I didn\'t offer you the position of substitute before now. Why I made you suffer for it.\" There was no question in what Tezuka said. His tone implied his utmost awareness of the fact.


Incapable of speaking, in light of the unanswered question that had been dwelling within him, gnawing and clawing at his insides for some time, and how easily Tezuka had been able to walk into his heart, and find the words he couldn\'t express, Ryoma simply nodded.


\"You must look to what is before you, and face your challenges head on. That was, of course, for your own benefit, and for what you will become to Seigaku. Yet, above all this, I did it, because I was being selfish.\"


Ryoma looks at him astonished. \"But Buchou... how is it that my not being a part of this team can be considered to be your selfishness? I don\'t understand...\"


Only the corners of Tezuka\'s eyes crinkled, the most miniscule evidence of invariably pure happiness, \"Why you ask? It was but a means to an end. Because this way, I knew you\'d come to me. And now, I can have you all to myself.\"


Slowly, oh so slowly, Tezuka leant forwards, as if afraid to frighten his prey. Lips that had been lonely too long, touched gently, as if each thought the other might break, even though they both knew they were strong enough to bend. Their hot breath intermingled as they reacquainted themselves, sharing themselves intimately, and yet innocently.


Until Ryoma opened his mouth to ask another question.


Luckily for Tezuka, he had much practice with this occurrence, and knew that if he were to slip by his lover\'s sharp tongue, then he would have to use his as his weapon as well. So he did just that, and it worked perfectly, as it had done, every time after that first kiss, such a long few months ago.


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Panting, exhausted from fighting with all that he had, Ryoma sat tiredly on the hard clay surface of Haruno University\'s tennis courts, where he had just been beaten, completely. He closed his eyes; here was his equal, right in front of his eyes, the one he would have to grow to meet, and he silently promised himself he would do so, no matter what. That\'s right, no matter what it would take... His grip upon his racquet tightened minutely. Attempting to get up, he then noticed a hand before his face - Tezuka\'s. Gazing steadily into his Buchou\'s stern, yet now he realized somehow soft, eyes, he too extended his hand and took the one before him. Rough and calloused, he felt at home with that touch, it made his heart beat just that little bit faster.


Now on his feet, he was unsure what to do with the hand he still held within his own. Should he let it go? Even though he really, really didn\'t want to? Even though at practically all other times Ryoma loathed being touched by others? He couldn\'t bear to let go, and his eyes grew slightly shadowed in confusion, at his indecision, as well as at the twinge in his chest at the thought of losing this anchor. But why? Why was it important to not let go? To keep hold of this hand, no matter what?


Tezuka\'s voice broke through his thoughts, \"Become Seigaku\'s Pillar of Support.\" This was the second time he had said this, the first being but a few minutes prior to this instance. But there was something different in Tezuka\'s tone this time, something... new.


Eyes wide, Ryoma opened his mouth, closed it again and tried to clear his throat, from this tightening he was experiencing. \"I...\" Suddenly noticing that he still held Tezuka\'s hand in his own, though there was no need for it, a light blush took control of his cheeks; yet, nevertheless, Ryoma didn\'t let go.


Tezuka continued to stare right into the depths of the young Prince\'s cat-like eyes, as if weighing something up. Retracting his hand from the boy\'s, much to Ryoma\'s acute disappointment, Tezuka repeated. \"Become Seigaku\'s Pillar of Support.\" A pregnant pause; then finally, \"And mine.\" Hands reached for the smaller one\'s shoulders, and suddenly Ryoma found himself in Tezuka\'s strong, warm embrace. Tilting his head up, he tried to get out a \"Why?\" but before he managed to finish the word he was cut off in a most decadent way. Lips meshing with his own, and a warm tongue invading him. He went limp in Tezuka\'s arms, while other parts of his anatomy perked with sudden interest.


Still, once Tezuka was done, he seemed to want to answer Ryoma\'s half un-asked question. \"Why?\" Ryoma could only nod dumbly. \"Because, I need you to support me, you\'re the one for me, the one who will love me for me, and not just my tennis.\"


Seeming to have regained his footing, \"Why do you say that?\" Was Ryoma\'s blunt reply.


Tezuka smiled, not a huge tooth-y grin, or an \"Ore-sama\"-super-smirk; it was a Tezuka smile, small, swift and sincere. A smile not smiled with the mouth, but with the soul.


\"I know this... because you took my hand for support, and didn\'t want to let go. That\'s why.\"


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All Ryoma was capable of saying was... \"Mada mada dane,\" and then he kissed him. Why? Because that\'s what you do, to say \'I understand, and thank you\' to the one you love.

~Owari~


A/N: For anyone who might think to ask, I\'m aware of the fact that in episode 25-26, Oishi is watching what is going on in the game, and later goes back on the train from Haruno tennis courts with Tezuka. ^.^ Oishi\'s a perve, and that\'s why he loves Eiji. Lol. ^^; It thus also cracks me up when later in the episode as they are getting on the train Tezuka says to Oishi \"You were watching?\" and Oishi replies \"You didn\'t say you were going all out\". Nyahahaha.

Jaa, Minna-san, hontou ni arigatou gozaimashita! *bows*
Review, onegai shimasu!