Gendo\'s Gift

Disclaimer: You people do realise that these are pointless and unnecessary right? Oh yeah, this fic does contain sex among minors, so beware! Read the story codes to see if anything else in this fic will offend you.

Gendo’s Gift



An adult fanfic by Sahaqiel



Prologue: Confounded Christmas Conundrums

Gendo glared bemusedly at the paper in front of him, a look of intense concentration on his face. One who didn’t know him too well would simply assume it was his daily crossword face.



But it wasn’t his daily crossword face, nor was it even his constipation face. No, it was even more intense than that.



It was none other than his fabled ‘Christmas list’ face.



“Let’s see,” he said, his gruff voice reverberating around his empty office. “Dr. Akagi gets the pleasure of my body as usual. Katsuragi gets a chemistry lab so she no longer has to use her kitchen to produce her favorite variety of curry based explosives. Aoba, Hyuga and Ibuki get their vacations canceled - they have families to support so I’m sure they’ll be most happy for the chance to earn some extra money. Professor Fuyutski gets coal - he’s been naughty lately. Sohryu gets a toy doll. . .that should be amusing. Rei gets a bottle of Tylenol - she’s been getting injured a lot lately. Shinji. . .”



Gendo had always prided himself on his gift giving ability. For as long as he could remember, he’d had an incredible knack for finding gifts that could actually make people cry tears of sheer joy. Like the one time when he was a kid and he dug up the bullet that killed his father and gave it to his mother to remember him by. It was a lot of work to to dig down to the casket and search through the skeleton to find it, but the look on his mother’s face when he explained its significance made it all worth it.



It was because of this natural talent that his pride suffered so when he was forced to admit he had no idea what to get his son. He had originally considered giving him the only remaining photograph of Yui, but decided against it when he realised Shinji never knew her all that well and would therefore gain little happiness from it.



He eventually grew frustrated and huffily threw the notepad down onto this desk, reaching now for Section 2’s weekly pilot reports. Same old, same old. The First Child was fulfilling her usual amount of window-starey time. The Second was getting her usual amount of German-shoutey time. Gendo narrowed his eyes, he really had to get someone with at least a fourth grade education to write these things. He flipped the page to the Third’s report, hoping to at least get a small idea of a gift for his son.



“Hmm. . .constantly brutalized by red headed savage. . . A subscription to Masochists Monthly?. . . No, too awkward. Baka: 313 times, Dumkopf: 53 times, -that’s down from last week- Hentai: 562 times. So my son’s a pervert? Hmm. . .perfect.”



Inwardly smiling with satisfaction at having successfully picked a gift, Gendo adopted his “underling ordering voice” and flicked on the intercom.



“Fuyutski here.”



“Professor, prepare Rei III.”



Gendo could almost hear Fuyutski’s quirked eyebrow. “Um Sir, you’re getting ahead of yourself again, Rei II isn’t dead yet.”



Gendo glared at the speaker. “I’m fully aware of that Professor. And while you’re at it, can you stop by the pet store and pick up a dog collar and leash?”



Kozo gulped. “Sir, please tell me you’re not actually thinking of using Rei as your sex sl-”



Gendo interrupted. “Don’t be an idiot Professor, of course not.”



Kozo sighed audibly.



“She’s for Shinji.”



END PROLOGUE



A/N: ‘Kay peeps, this is how it’s going to be. I’m going to trade off updating both of my stories until one gets finished or I hit a road block in one of them and need a little “away time.”



I must say that this is turning out to be more light hearted than I originally envisioned(not pictured, not visualised: envisioned). I rarely laugh at my own writings, but even I couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought of Asuka getting a doll for Christmas.



I have a yahoo group now! If you\'re interested in reading some of my other fics or getting to read this one a week in advance, go ahead and join! It\'s listed as the homepage in my profile.



PLEASE REVIEW FOLKS!