Believe in You
Believe in You
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normal\'>Believe in You
The rhythmic back and forth echo of Kikumaru and Fuji’s game
held Kawamura in absolute thrall – so much so that he’d become oblivious to the
practices and conversations around him.
He sat, a rare study of motionless focus, cataloguing each and every one
of
while he passed time with his friend.
Kikumaru teased
with playful banter and false challenge and
responded as he always did – with very little reaction whatsoever.
pessimistic outlook regarding their relationship or, at least, Fuji’s
potentially mercurial feelings regarding Kawamura, it was near impossible for
Kawamura to stare too long at Fuji without somehow thinking he was making memories
to help him through when Fuji decided to pull up stakes and move on with his
life. Not that Kawamura would ever admit
that he was, in fact, doing it.
grew somewhat impatient with him if he suspected Kawamura’s thoughts were
headed in that direction.
So absorbed in his own musings as he was, Kawamura didn’t
notice that he’d drawn some attention of his own until Oishi had already lowered
himself onto the bench. When Kawamura
realized that he was no longer alone, he glanced over quickly, flashing his
teammate a brief, self-deprecating grin, embarrassed to have been caught
staring and being unproductive.
“Oi, Oishi.”
Oishi smiled easily and rubbed at his face with a small
towel before draping it over his shoulder and turning his gaze on the scene
that had drawn Kawamura’s attention. “I’m
about to call a halt to today’s practice, actually.
Kawamura didn’t answer, but smiled again before sneaking
another glance at
his hair as he moved against it.
never looked so beautiful as when he was in motion –
graceful and at ease with the wind teasing the edges of his shirt, lifting it
occasionally to offer the smallest glimpse of pale, perfect skin.
Kikumaru laughed then, and Kawamura’s attention was drawn to
the vibrant boy that Oishi was staring at in the exact same manner that
Kawamura had been staring at
only moments before. To the best of the
team’s knowledge, Seigaku’s Golden Pair was nothing
more than the closest of friends. Sure,
their bond went deeper than that of most friendships, but that was something to
be admired, not regarded in any suspicious way.
Kawamura knew better, though. The
only proof he needed was there in Oishi’s eyes.
didn’t think anyone was looking spoke volumes of just how deeply their bond
ran.
Kawamura was careful not to let on that he’d noticed.
and their vice-captain was an intensely private, traditional sort of
person. Kawamura didn’t doubt that he
would be mortified to discover that the rest of the team was speculating on
whether or not he kissed his doubles partner goodnight each time they parted
ways. He watched Kikumaru for a moment,
trying to see him as Oishi must see him.
He considered his feelings for
and tried to draw a parallel that would help to put it in proper perspective.
Or, better still, a parallel that might validate
He found it wasn’t difficult to do, really.
he wasn’t the sort of person Kawamura would find himself attracted to, he could
understand Oishi’s preoccupation with him.
the net to fling his arms around
neck and swing them in a little circle.
Oishi laughed, unable to help himself, and he blushed
faintly when Kawamura smiled at him.
He faltered, cheeks reddening and Kawamura patted him
awkwardly on the shoulder. “You don’t
have to explain, Oishi. Not in the
least.”
Oishi laughed softly and rubbed the back of his neck – just the
way Kawamura did when he was feeling particularly scrutinized or bashful.
“That Eiji.”
too.
“He’s a handful, your Kiku-chan.”
Oishi grew silent, then and his smile faded a bit.
Kawamura tapped his racket against the blacktop, exhaling
slowly. “Am I not sitting beside
you? Staring just the same?”
Oishi blinked, brow furrowing.
completely different reason. “You…you’re
watching Eiji, Taka-san?”
Kawamura sat up a little, blushing hotly at
Kikumaru. “No!
Oishi looked horrified and put out a hand to Kawamura,
though he didn’t touch him. “
Kawamura laughed then, despite his embarrassment.
eyes hesitantly. “
Oishi’s eyes widened, despite his
obvious desire to keep his expression neutral.
Oishi would never make it as a card sharp.
was clearly displayed on his face for all to see.
Kawamura nodded, glancing back to watch Fuji shoo Kikumaru
back to his side of the court, that serene smile there to soften the edge of
his admonishment. Kawamura felt a little
warm. “
be angry at him for discussing it with Oishi?
Oishi made a soft, affirming sound.
had been seeing someone, but I never imagined that it was you, Taka-san.”
Kawamura watched
deliver a particularly vicious backhand return and he didn’t miss that
was smiling when he did it. “I know it
seems strange. To imagine someone like
with someone like me. I haven’t told
anyone.”
Oishi squeezed Kawamura’s shoulder quickly, not lingering
overlong lest he risk embarrassing Kawamura.
“Not strange, Taka.
covertly and he lowered his voice to speak his next words.
Kawamura tore his gaze away from
and met Oishi’s eyes squarely.
Oishi smiled at that, a true, sincere smile.
“Yes, that’s really good. Eiji
thinks very highly of
“Do you love Eiji, Oishi?
Do you love him so much that it hurts to think about it?”
but he couldn’t pass up this chance to discuss his feelings with someone he
could trust and who might possibly understand.
Oishi’s expression softened.
But it doesn’t hurt.” He shook
his head, quick to qualify his words. “Not anymore, anyway.
Eiji. It’s like I’m understood, without
ever having to say a word. That can be a
bad thing sometimes, though. Like when
he’s being obtuse and selfish and I know
he’s aware that it’s affecting me. But
then, Eiji is just…Eiji. And I remember
that I love him as he is.” He
blushed. “Gomen,
Taka. You probably don’t want to hear
all this.”
Kawamura shook his head, eyes wide.
No, Oishi – on the contrary. I
spent so long thinking what I felt was wrong that now I can barely see my way
through to the fact that
the same way I do. I’m so, so afraid of
messing that up, somehow.”
Eiji spotted Oishi in that moment and saluted him crisply
before springing backward to return
serve. “Hoi, Oishi.
a lesson!”
Kawamura smiled at
soft, indulgent laughter and he realized that he felt lighter somehow for
having shared his secret with Oishi. “It
was unexpected, you know?
Oishi nodded. “I felt
the same way as you, once. For a while I
tried to ignore it – I mean, it’s not exactly normal for a guy to fall for his
best friend, right? It was Eiji who put
it in perspective for me.”
Kawamura tilted his head.
“What did he say?”
“He grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me and he said ‘Oishi
Shuichirou, you love me just the way I love you.
it.”
Kawamura blinked. “And
what did you do?”
Oishi laughed. “I
kissed him.” Oishi looked at Kawamura,
expression understanding and serious. “And
I’ve never been this happy in my whole life, Taka-san.
of something good.”
Kawamura was silent for a long moment and then, finally, he
nodded. “You’re right.
been telling me that all along.”
Oishi stood slowly, clapping Kawamura on the shoulder in
easy camaraderie. “You should listen to
him, then. If they weren’t so clever, we
wouldn’t love them so much, right?”
Kawamura ducked his head, embarrassed still, but so very
grateful for Oishi’s kind advice.
Oishi only nodded and tossed his towel to Kawamura before
heading over to join Kikumaru, who bounded up to him happily, obviously not
concerned with what anyone might read into his attentions.
It was then that Kawamura turned his gaze back to
with the object of his affections and he wondered how long
had been watching him.
But then
odds with the soft look in his eyes.
Kawamura smiled in response and rested his right hand over
his heart. It was in that precise
He was going to believe himself.
as important as that.