The Letter
The Letter
xmlns:st1=\"urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags\"
xmlns=\"http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40\">
The sun is bright – too bright – and, for only a moment, Eiji
considers swiping Ryoma’s baseball cap. His
expression is one of intense concentration and, every so often, he wrinkles his
nose and scrubs his eyes with the back of his hand to clear his vision again.
His brow is creased in consternation – he doesn’t have much time to finish this
letter before Oishi will stride out of the club house
and make his way to Eiji’s side. It’s a habit of his
and, as nervous as Eiji is, he takes that particular
habit as a very good sign. He doubts that Oishi even
notices how close they stand to one another at every possible opportunity. He
doubts that Oishi realizes that he looks for
always waits for him after practice so that they can walk home together.
They are best friends – it’s expected that they spend most of their time
together. But for Eiji, it goes much, much deeper
than that. He wants to hold Oishi’s hand and snuggle
with him at the movies and he wants to dance with him and buy him flowers and
kiss him while they watch the sun set.
Eiji wrinkles his nose again and re-reads the letter
one more time.
I don’t have secrets like other people. Not from you, not from the rest of
the team. There’s no mystery that I can use to keep you interested, like
with my strength like Momo-chan or Taka-san. I’m not
brave or disciplined like Kaidoh. I can’t pretend to
always have the answers and there’s so much that I don’t know - I can’t be like
Inui. I’ll never be like Tezuka – I will never be the
leader that he is. I don’t possess Ryoma’s skill and
the only real drive I have has nothing to do with Tennis.
But I want to win, Oishi. I want to win so badly that
there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to make it happen. If I lay down my racket and
never pick it up again I will still go on with this game we play. The stakes
are higher and I have more to lose but I’m not a quitter.
This is how I choose to tell you, Oishi. I’m not
perfect and I’m not the only one who cares for you but I am the only one who
will ever love you more than anything else in this world. I don’t mind telling
you all the things that I’m not – as long as you let me show you all the things
that I am.
You’re walking toward me right now – smiling and happy and completely clueless
as to the thoughts I’m having about you right now. I’m going to tell you today,
though, Oishi. You might be shocked and you might
need time to think it over and I don’t mind if you do. I’ll still be here when
you make up your mind.
I love you, Oishi. That’s the most important thing
you need to know.
When the sun disappears, finally, it is behind Oishi
as the taller boy moves to stand over Eiji. The
redhead looks up, the smile he offers a bit softer than before.
cants his head and smiles in return.
“Homework, Eiji?”
Eiji laughs while he folds the letter into a small
rectangle that will fit easily in Oishi’s pocket.
“Hoi, who does homework when they’re not at home,
He takes Oishi’s hand, when it’s offered, and allows
the taller boy to tug him to his feet. They’re close for a moment – close
enough for Eiji to look deeply into
someone else. Oishi notices and Eiji
doesn’t miss the quick intake of his partner’s breath as he stands just where
he is and stares back, just as entranced.
Eiji smiles, one hand on Oishi’s
shoulder when he slips the letter into his partner’s pocket. Then he bends to
pick up his notebook, beaming a smile in Oishi’s
direction before he rushes off toward the clubhouse.
“I need to go change or else Tezuka will make me run
laps, nya!”
Oishi only smiles and shakes his head as he watches
his best friend dart away and then he reaches into his pocket to retrieve
whatever Eiji had slipped into it. He looks at the
hastily folded piece of paper for a long moment before he finally begins to
unfold it. The sun is bright and hurts his eyes but still he reads on even
while his heartbeat quickens with every single word.
When he’s read the letter three times and is certain he can commit the whole
thing to memory, he finally looks up. Eiji is
hovering near the edge of the courts, big blue eyes apprehensive but completely
unafraid.
And Oishi smiles.