Sohma

AN: Hello! Thanks for taking a look at my fic. It's a darker look at Yuki's past, and the next chapter will be moving right into the present. obviously AU because I'm making up his past, and pairings, and anything else that doesn't fit was done because I felt like it. :) Hope you enjoy, please R&R!


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A child in the Sohma family often lives a quiet life. Whether it's a quietness preserved by the high stone walls surrounding the estate, or the tall walls closing a small boy in darkness made no difference to me.

His hands were always cold when he touched me, making me shiver and cringe away, until he pulled me tight against him and my skin warmed his body.

He often played with my hair as he began to kiss me. Starting with my forhead and trailing down to my abdomen, he peeled away each layer of clothes that barred his descent, and told me that I was special. He never did any more than kiss me, but he kissed me everywhere, taking extra kisses from places I hadn't thought to kiss before. Then he carefully returned me to my clothing, and stroked away my tears until I was quiet.

When he was gone, I rose to the highest room I could find and gazed as far as I could over those Sohma walls.


"Yuki...? Don't you want to speak with your cousins?"

Hatori was always so nice to him. He held out his hand and helped the little Yuki to his feet, but the boy didn't answer.

Shigure bent down and looked his little cousin in his vibrantly violet eyes.

"Yuki-kun, we're all worried about you. Tell us what's wrong?"

He shut his large eyes and turned away.

Shigure glanced up at Hatori and silently cursed Ayame's absence. The boy was his brother, god knew they didn't act that way, but Yuki was more likely to speak to him.

"Did something happen to you?"

Yuki found himself on the ground again. Why did they keep asking him? Why didn't they understand that he didn't want to say. He didn't want them to know.

He drew his knees to his chest and shut his eyes hoping desperately that they would leave.

He heard them both sigh and listened as their footsteps withdrew from the room. Hatori and Shigure found Yuki's mother leaning beside the door. She smiled sadly as they faced her and swallowed.

"Thank's for trying boys," she said. "Almost everyone has been by to see him now."

"Does he speak at all?" Shigure asked.

She shook her head.

"No, but please come again to see him. I still think that everyones company will help."

"Of course."

"Oh." She grabbed Hatori's arm as they began to pass. "If you find Aya, can you send him home? I know they're not close, but he hasn't even spoken to Yuki since it's started."

Hatori frowned.

"He hasn't? I'll speak to him," he said.

Yuki listened distractedly to the discussion outside of the room. It was funny. They acted like he couldn't hear just because he wouldn't speak. Well it was better that way. Maybe they would stop speaking to him altogether. Maybe they would leave him alone.

"Yuki?"

He started and looked up surprised to find his younger cousin watching him from behind the doorway.

Hatsuharu stared at his older cousin, his eyes wide as he took in the sight of Yuki, curled in a ball on the floor. He inched forward into the room and closer to Yuki.

Yuki backed away until his back was against the wall and Hatsuharu stopped. He sat down watching Yuki closely. He had never seen him like this, and it wouldn't have taken the worried whispers of his parents and aunt for him to realize that something had happened to his cousin.

"Did someone hurt you?" he asked.

Yuki was suddenly unable to breathe. He stared at the black eyed boy before him, and suddenly he was crying.

There was a thundering of footsteps and his mother ran into the room followed closely by a maid and his uncle. Hatsuharu backed away staring as the three tried to calm the screaming Yuki.

He fought his way from their grasp and bolted from the room still crying. Why? Why was this happening to him? What had he done?

He stopped, gasping for breath. The cool air easing against his face dryed his tears and slowly began to calm him. It was so different here from that dark room that it almost seemed like a different world. A different life.

Maybe...maybe he would be able to leave the Sohma home someday. Maybe.

"Yuki?"

He looked up and a sudden rush of relief flooded him at the sight of his brother, Ayame. His goofy brother who always made him laugh.

"What, were you crying?"

Yuki swallowed and nodded, instantly regreting it as his brother began to stare.

"You're a big boy," he said. "You shouldn't cry." He stepped forwad with a sigh and handed him a handkerchief.

Yuki stared up at his brother, his eyes instantly filling with tears, but he attempted to hold them back. He took the handkerchief and forced the words past his mouth.

"A-Ayame-," he choked. "Help me, please-?"

Ayame stared down at him. He brushed back a stray lock of hair that was blowing fretfully in the wind.

"You're talking," he said. A sudden smile lit his face. "I guess you don't need any help."

Yuki shook his head, choking back the tears fighting to escape.

"N-no, Ayame I want to leave here- help me please!"

"What-?"

"Ayame," he reached forward and clung to his brother. "Take me away from the Sohma house?"

Ayame stared. With one swift motion he pulled his shirt from Yuki's grasp and stepped back.

"You can't be serious?" he asked. "Don't play games Yuki. You're not going anywhere."

Yuki didn't move as his brother turned and walked away. He waited until long after he was out of sight until he began to cry. He didn't scream this time, or sob. Silent tears ran down his face, as he realized leaving the Sohma cage was an act done alone.