Behind Eros Eyes

Behind Eros Eyes
By: Karie

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HELLO! I am the grand authoress, Karie and this is my forray into Under the Glass Moon. *peers down at her manga sitting by her on the desk* Boy those two are pretty boys. Very much so. And some of those pages give me very strange ideas. *shine* If you already know me, then you have an idea of what I am about to do to dear Luel and Luka. If you've never heard of me, then here's a bit of information, I'm a yaoi writer. You know, boy and boy go get naughty in the bed room sort of things. *smile* So, if Luel and Luka getting together squicks you something evil.... TOO BAD! If not, by all means, read. OH! I am broke. I own nothing. I make no money, not even from my job. Enjoy Minna!!!
~~~

"Luel, why don't you just tell her and be done with it? You've been killing yourself over that demon child for YEARS."

"She already hates me! I don't want her to hate me anymore than she does now."

Ahhh, Luel.... You poor, pathetic, misguided, nieve soul. You would be my only brother and my favorite.... Ahh, poor Luel. Slaving after the little girl, and she won't give you a second glance. Me however, she won't get off of. Luel, Luel. You care a little too much about me, and Nell is the only girl you've ever looked at. Even that woman, Sage, she never caught your eye like that. You specifically told her that you detested her, disliked her. She of course, threw a princess hissy fit.

Really, what can I do for you, Luel? I've given you my countanace for an evening and it only made the brat even more my shadow. What can I do? Tell me, please, so I can stop worrying about you!

Do I have to worry about you forever, Luel? Do you I have to spend my life with you, to keep you out of harm? Especially when you tend to be a bit destructive in your working with alchemy. And of course, that brings Nell running and screaming, 'Mr. Luel Reinhardt!' And you'll crawl out of the mess, shoving back handfulls of your fine blonde hair, smiling in soft regret with your intense green eyes behind your silly glasses. You ought to get contacts.

But, when you take them off to clean them, suddenly I think, this is why he wears them. You look like such a child without them, they give you a measure of dignity. You look at me appologetically, your green eyes so bright without your glasses, they're blinding. Then you slide them on.

"Did I wake you too, Luka? I'm sorry."

It softens the glare of your Eros coloured gaze, I think you wear them to protect the rest of us from the full effect of your brilliant eyes as much as you wear them because you can't see.

"I'm fine, I was already up."

"Oh, of course. I'm sorry Nell."

"Luuuuuka!"

I am thrown into the doorway by the force of the monster throwing herself at me. Luel, you look positivly crushed, but you hide it behind another smile and go to look for food. I think, I want to see behind the love for Nell and the smiling mask in those Eros green eyes.

Finally, in a rare moment of peace, Madame Batolli and her demon child have gone out for the day on witches errands. They may be over night, which leaves me alone with you. Of course, Madame MUST take my 'apprentice' with her, leaving me alone with you entirely. You sit at the table, pouring over your books, noting things quietly.

Suddenly you take your glasses off and set them aside, your gaze rising to the fridge. I stand at the sink, watching you as I wash some of our dishes, watching you lean into the fridge. Then you back out and straighten, empty handed. You look fairly bored and I finish the dishes quickly. You glance around and those Eros green eyes catch me again. They are so intense and so vivid, even though you look so young without those glasses you normally will go no where without.

"Luka?"

"Hm?"

You walk over and put your arms around me and bury your face in my shoulder, like a child, like a lost child. I stand there for a moment before my arms surround you and I stroke your soft blonde hair slowly, murmuring calming nonsense. You just hold me, breathing into my shoulder. Gently I lift your head, brushing at tears that I hadn't known were falling.

"Luel? Are you all right?"

Only when you are concerned am I soft, and gentle, and kind. If you're hurting, tell me, Luel, I'll try my damnedest to make it all better for you. You stare at me and I try to remember if your green eyes were always so beautiful, so expressive and so full of conflict.

"Luka.... You're never going to leave, are you? You'll be here always?"

"Of course. Where in the hell am I supposed to go, Luel?"

That must have come out a little sharper than I had intended because you look hurt and now its my fault and I feel so guilty. I hug you and brush your hair back, kissing your forehead, little brother. You cling to me and hide your face in the curve where my shoulder and my neck meet.

"I'm sorry, Luka.... I just, suddenly everything just felt so..... Differant. We used to be alone, just the two of us.... Now we're surrounded by people all the time and I felt like I was loosing you to them. Your women, Madame Batolli, dear sweet Nell, and your apprentice, Neo. I felt like I was alone, but you weren't with me."

"I'm here, Luel. I didn't know you felt like that. I'm sorry. You should have mentioned it. I'll always be here for you, you know that. I don't know of any woman that I've known who I could stand to be with any longer than one night. I'm here for you, Luel. I've always been here."

I had no idea, he just clings to me, and I feel his breath on my skin, warm and moist. Then I feel the softest touch to my shoulder and I draw in a breath. Luel jerks back and looks down guiltilly. I have to work to read his expression without seeing those eyes.

"Luel??"

"I'm.... I'm so sorry, Luka!"

He pushes past me and runs through the house and into his bedroom, I can hear the door closing softly like he always does. Even when his emotions are running high, he never slams a door. It's something about him, but he just doesn't do it. I hurry after him and gently knock on the door, before I push it open a bit. He's sprawled on his bed, clutching one of his pillows and crying into it. I've not seen the room in years, and it's differant.

He's got photographs of the two of us, blown up, plastered on his walls, some in frames and some tacked up with pins or tape. There are holidays, birthdays, special occasions, outtings, days where we were just taking pictures, anything where we are together and smiling. He's got the originals spread over a table, with a machine on it, and there is a sheet of glossy coloured paper in one tray. It must be a photograph he has yet to put up.

"Luel? Can I come in?"

"Y-yeah..."

He gulps, sitting up and dragging an arm across his eyes, smiling weakly. I come in and shut the door softly for him. I walk over and sit on the edge of the bed, next too him. He's smiling for me. I smile back and brush his hair out of his face. His is the bedroom with no windows. It's the innermost room of the house, and he had picked it because of that fact.

"Luel, whats the matter with you today?"

"Its nothing, Luka. I'm sorry. I just feel tied in knots for some reason."

"Why? What can have made you this jumpy and sensitive."

"I have no idea."

I gently just keep petting his hair and he seems to be calming down under my touch. Then I remember the tray and the blow up. I reach out and he yelps as I close my hand on it, drawing it up to look at.

"LUKA!! NO!"

It's a picture from a long time ago, one that I had forgotten about, because, well, it was convieniant to forget about this photo. We had been together for days without anyone else and Luel had been feeling alone. So I comforted him. Intimately. No wonder this one wasn't on the wall. It was a picture of that intamacy.

Luel looked ashamed of himself, so I put the thing back in the tray. Then I lifted his head with my hand.

"Luel?"

"I'm sorry, Luka. I couldn't help it. It was my best memory, but I can't display it like my other good memories.... No one would understand."

"Luel, you know that what we did in that photo was wrong, don't you? That it wasn't propper?"

"I know. I'm sorry."

He pulls his feet up and hides his face in his arms which have folded across his knees. He's wearing a white button down with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and a pair of light blue jeans, faded and worn, but they fit him so well. I pull his face out of hiding, brush the tears away from those green eyes, so vivid.

"Luel, you've never mentioned it to Madame or Nell, have you? Sage?"

"No, no never! Absolutly not! I couldn't! Not at all! It's my memory, and I don't want it tainted by another persons disgust so that I am ashamed of my own memories!"

"All right. Thats good. That would be a bad thing to have them know."

I hug him and he leans into me, and I hear him sigh.

"Luka...?"

"Hmm?"

"Luka, can you.... Hold me? Please, just for a little while, hold me like you did then? I just, I feel like my insides are tied in knots and I don't feel warm, I just feel numb and afraid."

"You know you ought not be asking that."

"I know."

I have to sigh, but I give in, because I don't ever want him to feel anything but happy. I gently push him back, and look at him.

"Off, clothes off."

"Right!"

His fingers fly through the buttons on his shirt faster than I thought anyone could undo those damn buttons. I pull my own 'shirt' over my head and then wriggle free of my tight slacks. He's kicking his jeans away and I notice he still insists on wearing boxers. I personally can't generally wear underclothes, they'd be too noticable.

I push him back so he is against the wall and then slide up next too him, and open my arms too him. He moves into my lap, his back against my chest, our legs tangled, my arms around his chest and stomach, his arms covering mine. He sighs and leans his head back onto my shoulder, tilting it too the side, so his breath drifts across my neck like feathers brushing my skin. His eyes as closed and his face looks entirely calm, peaceful.

I hadn't noticed but he's slowly relaxing into me, he was so tense. It's a wonder he doesn't have health problems due to stress. Finally he's just limp against me, and he's practically asleep.

"Luel?"

"Hmm?"

He never twitches but just makes a questioning sound. I look down at him and then lean my cheek against his head.

"Why did you want this? Why do you want me?"

"Because I felt like you weren't with me anymore. Because I felt alone and that you were fading out. Because, I love you, more than anyone in the world, Luka."

"You know you shouldn't love me so much. It's not right. It's very wrong. Brothers shouldn't love each other like that."

"I know. But, I can't help it. I can't help it, as much as I know I shouldn't. Can you help whoever it is YOU love, Luka?"

I have to answer him truthfully. My sweet, innocent little brother always knows if I'm not playing it straight with him. But, I love him just as much as he loves me, and I try my damnedest not too every day.

"No, I can't help loving that person. But, I ought to be able too. I should have learned control."

"I love you, Luka."

"I love you also, Luel. Even if it is wrong."

The poor boy just shifts closer too me, and then twists around so he's facing me, sitting in my lap. I hold him closer, his arms around my neck, his face hidden against my shoulder. I feel that soft touch on my skin and I know at once what it is. It moves to my neck and then my jaw. The touch is like the softest silk and it slides across my cheek before I find those Eros green eyes before me.

"Can I, Luka?"

He whispers it so longingly, that I can only nod and then let him move my head into a place that pleases him as his silky soft kiss touches my lips. I lean into that kiss, and I reciprocate, one of my hands drifting up into that blonde hair, his own hands caught in my hair as it drapes over my shoulders.

We're so differant. Nine years seperate us. He's 22, and I'm 31. He's got heavenly golden blonde hair, while I'm so raven black its shameful. His eyes are clear, vivid green, while mine are more like those of a wolf, golden and scathing. He's so innocent despite our last encounter, while I've tried to deny him with countless meaningless enoucounters with women.

Finally, as much as I don't want to admit it, I do have the need to inhale, and I push him back, breaking away from him to drew oxygen into my lungs. He looks away, his face pink, it's so cute that he's embarassed.

"I'm sorry, Luka. You don't have to stay, if you don't want."

"Luel, you idiot. I'm not going until you don't feel like I'm fading away. I don't want you to be miserable. You're important too me."

Luel smiles so sweetly, it makes my teeth hurt. He clings to me, face hidden in my black hair. I hold him tightly before he shifts slightly and I gasp, clutching him, nipping gently at his shoulder.

"Luel... Hold still, won't you!"

"I- I'm, Luka, I didn't mean too. But..."

He moves closer and I understand far too well why he's having a hard time staying still. I sigh into his hair and gently kiss his neck.

"It's fine, Luel. It's all right. Here, lets move a bit, and pull the covers up, it's cold in here."

He slides off my lap, and tugs the blankets up and pulls them over us, while he lays back under them, holding out his arms too me, welcoming me down into the folds of the sheet and blankets, into the cushion of the bed. I lean over him, braced over him, staring down. He's still smiling at me, he knows. He remembers.

"Luel..."

He looks at the drawer in the table next too the bed.

"There. In that drawer. I kept it. If I ever needed it again."

"Oh."

I reach out and tug the drawer open, and remove the simple, unmarked tube. He's right, I haven't seen this exact tube since last time. It's only for us. No one else. He'd made it for me, as a gift, but we'd ended up here.

I flip the cap open and he sighs gently and takes the tube, squeezing some of the smooth, colourless, but delicate smelling gel into my hand. Then he lays the tube on the table and and bends his kness, his feet flat on the bed. I'm between his legs and gently streach him, slowly, carefully. I refuse to be rough with him, I love him.

"Luka..."

He sighs, eyes flickering halfway closed before staring up at me. They're so green. So enchanting. I use the remaining gel in my hand on my erection, slicking it so that I'll not hurt him. Finally I move so that I'm just a push away from what is still avoidable.

"Luel, do you really- Ah!"

He shoves himself onto me, causing me to thrust hard, going in to the hilt before I can stop myself. His face is open and clear to read, full of wonder and full of relief. I gently pull back and thrust again and his mouth rounds in a soft gasp.

"Oh... Oh... Oh..."

He can't say anything, one leg curled around my hips, the other foot digging into the bed. He's gasping softly, just like the last time. I thrust gently, hard enough to bring about our orgasms, but not so hard as to jar him or hurt him. I thrust over and over again, one hand moving to surround his erection, stroking him in time to the movements I make within him.

"Oh... OH! OH!"

His gasp becomes a gentle cry as my hand slides up and down, and he grinds back into my thrusts. He's nearing his end, and I'm following him closely. I can see it in his face, in those jealousy green eyes. He's so in love with me it hurts. He knows better but there's no hope.

"LUUUUUKAAAAA!!!"

He never screams, just cries out softly, slamming himself onto me before his back arches and his head drags until he's barely on the bed. I nail him hard as my own head flys back and I scream his name, flooding him with myself.

"LUUUUUELLLLL!!!"

Slowly he slumps back to the bed and I pull free of him, moving over to lay next too him, pulling him into me. We've thrown the blankets off because its just much too hot now. He utilizes the one thing I've ever seen him use, and he only used it the last time we were like this. His camera levitates, and I hear the film winding. He's just cuddled against me, his come still splattered on us both. The camera flashes and whirrs again before it sits on his desk.

He closes his eyes, kisses me gently and then sighs against my lips.

"I feel... Whole again... G'night, Luka..."

"G'night, Luel. Don't worry, I'll still be here when you wake."

I close my eyes and tug the sheets up over us. His come is still on us both, and it will be a bitch to scrub away later, when we wake, but for now it's not bothering us, and we'll sleep, spooned against each other, unable to tell one's body from the others, and we'll sleep well for the first time in a long time.

Ahhh, Luel. You poor, pathetic, misguided, nieve soul. You would be my only brother and my favorite lover. Only, you're not so poor, pathetic or misguided now. Only a nieve little man who can't tell his heart no. You're such a beautiful soul. And I know what you hide behind that smiling mask in those Eros green eyes, and behind that love for Nell. I know who you are, who it is you love without confusion and why it is you can't sleep at night.

You're Luel Reinhardt, my only brother and my favorite lover. Someday, we'll go away, and it will be okay to say this out loud.

I love you, Luel, and I want you so bad it hurts.

~OWARI~

*sighs* Luuuuka.... He's so cool. And you KNOW there is SOMETHING there. I mean, he cares so much about Luel. And Luel is just too pretty, but he's so sweet, you know that Luka means everything too him. If you didn't like this, TOO BAD. BITE ME. I don't care. It's a bit AU, since I only have the first manga, but I'll either read or buy the next ones eventually. The referances to 'Eros' green. Its part of a Greek and Roman myth. Eros was Aphrodite's son. He was about 20-something and blonde with blue eyes. He fell in love with a human, and when he got jealous, he turned into a monster with increadibly bright green eyes. 'Eros' green, jealousy green, 'green with envy'. All derived from that tale. Look up the word EROS sometime. Well, Ja!

K. C. *muah* =^.^= *Mew!*