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My Enemy is a vegetable

By: larch
folder +S to Z › Vampire Hunter D
Rating: Adult +
Chapters: 12
Views: 1,544
Reviews: 2
Recommended: 0
Currently Reading: 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Hunter D, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
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My Enemy is a vegetable

Since the story has Kale in it, the rules state that Kale needs to have everything D has, only bigger and better, because it’s all about Kale! So here it is, Kale’s Tom Lehrer parody song fic!


About a maid I sing a song,
Sing rickety-tickety-tin
Not only was her story long…
It should be considered a sin
A sin
It should be considered a sin


One day she awoke in slime
Rickety-tickety-tin
And met a man she thought devine
Such a couple should be considered a crime!
When they have sex they make such a din
A din
When they have sex, they make such a din


Big Bad sharks she could never stand
Rickety-Tickety-Tin
So a cruel chapter she planned
Retribution the SPCA demands
She’d kill them and slice off their fins
Their fins
She’d kill them all and slice off their fins


A plot she makes full of holes
Rickety-tickety-tin!
Stew, she makes bowls and bowls
She and her hunter must have sold their souls
You can always count on them to win
To win
You can always count on them to win


She once tried to steal a baby
Oh, rickety-tickety-tin!
Her idea of Civic Duty always hazy
And all of us prayed that maybe…
Endangered species would bite off her chin
Her chin
Endangered species would bite off her chin


Every time she has nothing to do
Rickety-tickety-tin!
She goes out and cooks up stew
She loves it so much it makes me spew!
I wish she would just fall in
Fall in
I wish she would just fall in


Someone teach the author biology!
Sing Rickety-tickety-tin
There’s just too much implausibility!
Kale, a blatant insert of she!
No one should have let her begin
Begin
No one should have let her begin.
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