Am I Yours?

Title: Am I Yours?
Rating: M (NC-17)
Pairing: Donuts
Summary: Remembering a night of passion.
Disclaimer: Not mine.


I wonder if you’re already awake?

He is. He doesn’t want to let him know. He’s been awake for a while now, he couldn’t sleep; he kept thinking about him. Five years, for five years they’ve been together and he still didn’t really know how Watanuki feels about him.

We live together, bath together, clean together, we even cook together but Watanuki’s mind is still a mystery to me.

He remembers that day clearly. It was the day he confessed his feelings, of course. He couldn’t forget it.
That day, under a blooming Sakura tree, he gathered all his courage and told him.
Watanuki didn’t believe him so he’d shoved him up against the tree and kissed him right there, under the tree, forcefully; intensely, without pausing for breath. He still remembers the taste of him, slightly bittersweet, like his life before he met him.

The taste of innocence.

He didn’t say I love you that day, but he said the next best thing.
“The thing I love the most is your cooking, Watanuki.”
At that time, it was his greatest love confession, but Watanuki didn’t understand it, so he made him understand, that night.
Being Watanuki’s first exhilarated him and made him go wild with desire. The knowledge that no one else had touched the boy under him brought about a resolution that no one else ever will.

He touched him in places no one else had explored, he held Watanuki that night tightly and didn’t let go. He pushed inside the boy slowly, feeling his tightness. New, unexplored sensations, coursed through his body. His skin tasted salty like many of his foods. It was an unexpected. The only thing he was ever allowed to taste was the food Watanuki prepared, but not anymore. Now he could taste the boy himself. His skin was soft, but rough in places from daily housework, it was unexpectedly erotic.

Watanuki wasn’t looking at him he was just letting him do whatever he wanted and accepting his fate. But as he held Watanuki that night, he also held his fate. He will make sure that it is a pleasurable fate.

He didn’t know much about making love, but he was prepared. He had learned about it just for Watanuki, because he was the only one who made him feel this way, the only one he wanted.
Watanuki was incredibly tight and he was slowly but inevitably losing himself in him. He kept sucking him inside his body, he wanted to make him scream with pleasure, but he ended up screaming instead. That aroused Watanuki’s attention and their gazes met. For the first time in his life, he couldn’t hold it any longer; he came.
He came forcefully, because Watanuki made him.
He didn’t want it to end so soon, so he continued to hold him even while he was still nested inside Watanuki’s warmth. He tightened his grip not wanting to admit defeat.

Watanuki whispered in his ear: “You baka, you can let go now.”
“I won’t.,” he replied stubbornly, not now after holding him so close, not ever.
“I will never let you go.”

Watanuki quickly reversed their positions and slipped away from him.
Doumeki was about to grab him again, when suddenly;

“Don’t worry, I won’t go.”
His body was hot, hotter that he could ever have imagined it to be. Watanuki positioned himself between his legs and looked at him as if saying:
‘You want it, don’t you?’
‘How did he transform so suddenly from a passive observer to this sensual being?’ he wondered. He felt his cock stir, waiting impatiently for more.

“Yes,” was all he said as a wet mouth engulfed him. A playful eager mouth that made him want to experience new sensations. Pleasurable sensations. The pressure was unbearable; he was lost in that moment in time and just snapped.
He pushed Watanuki onto the floor and takes him forcefully without the preparation and care like the first time. Then, he had insisted on doing it properly. Now, all he cared about was fast and furious, the only way he really wanted him.
He wanted to possess him, make Watanuki feel that he was his.
Watanuki cried in pleasure for the first time that night, panting and pleading for more. This was how he wanted Watanuki to react.

“More, Doumeki!” hearing his name spoken made him lose all the control he had. All that remained was the feeling of Watanuki under him, completely lost in his own pleasure.
Biting him, marking him, he wanted to brand him with the seal of his family name. Then everybody would know he was his. He didn’t understand the feelings Watanuki awoke in him, the dark pure need to possess. That wasn’t the way he was brought up, but he couldn’t deny his feelings any longer.

He didn’t want anybody to know about those feelings, because they were his and only his, and most definitely no one else’s. They emerged from deep within him; only Watanuki could bring them to surface so easily.
His nails dug deeper into Watanuki’s skin while his persistent mouth continued to mark that smooth skin. He could almost, yet no quite, taste Watanuk’s blood. No, he won’t let him go.
Watanuki was lost in his pleasure. This was the first time he’d seen him so wanton and pleading without reservations. The explosion when it happened took him by surprise, this time he wasn’t the only one who reached climax.
He never felt so utterly drained while tasting happiness for the first time. He could feel a coppery taste in his mouth; Watanuki’s blood left him strangely calm. Strangely, because from the moment he met Watanuki, the peace he had known had shattered and had been replaced by worry for the boy’s safety. This unstoppable longing to protect him was painful. Tonight, he hurt him too. He could still see the marks all over his body. He felt as if he had the rights to them. He traced them with his fingers, feeling them slowly, making him feel absurdly proud. No one else could touch Watanuki now. He was his.
The line between pain and pleasure had been blurred, because now they’re one. They completed each other in a variety of ways that brought them inevitably closer.

This is how this boy…, no, man makes me feel.

He was utterly unprepared for him. His family had taught him how to be prepared in many different situations, but nothing prepared him for Watanuki.
He’s still asleep as usual. He can always dream peacefully afterwards.

I’m the only one who’s awake and I wonder…
Is he finally mine?