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Fear, Contentment and Lemon	By : Akuma Category: +G to L > Hunter x Hunter Views: 5845 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Hunter x Hunter, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Fear, Contentment and Lemon
- 2-Contentment
- 1
- 2
Disclaimer:
Can I have them, Togashi-sensei? I can? Thank you!!! *Thud* (falling from bed) A
dream? Damn!

Note:
actually nothing. I just felt like writing �Note� there.

Warning:
Shounen ai, incest� that�s pretty much all� I�m in my sap mood�
Lemon's coming as the final chapter...

Fear

He
wasn�t sure how it started. First it was just a simple attraction turn to
simple lust turn to simple affection turn to simple love� A relationship
doomed from the start somehow last so long, got so far�.

He
didn�t know when it started. In the beginning he was captivated by the smile
and the innocent wide eyes, then he became addicted to the sight of the flush on
the pale skin after sex and the fear on those eyes at his sight, then he longed
for the sound of his name uttered in the most erotic way by those pink lips even
when they weren�t having sex, then he worshiped the way those eyes opened in
the morning to greet him�.

He
used to enjoy the fear. Before, it was a symbol of his superiority, his power.
Then he realized it had instead become a symbol of his weakness, his jealousy
when he learned that it was he who felt the fear. And he grew to dread it,
despise it, welcome it and it left him surrendering, submitting to fate�.

Before,
he thought he saw submission in those eyes, too. But then he remembered his
lover wasn�t one to submit to anything. His lover became his, only because he
chose to, because he didn�t want to bother himself to fight and not because he
was forced to.

Sometimes
it made him felt like he was the submissive one in their relationship. Just like
yesterday when they had a fight and somehow his lover managed to solve their
problem clearheadedly and simply kissed him in a way of apology and submission
that, in fact, infuriate him. At times like that he would become rougher, colder
just to feel a bit of superiority that his lover willingly gave him with such
elegant calmness that upset him that he was never satisfied. Making him ask
for more and more until the need maddened him, leaving him in the dark abyss of
his tainted soul.

Then
those eyes would open, a dark kind of light in his windowless chamber, just like
it did just now, reminding him of his need and calming it at the same time.
Briefly he wondered when he started to stay long enough to see the blankness,
submission and challenge in those eyes. There were so many things he couldn�t
recall. He used to think those were unimportant matters, now he wished he
cherished those little facts and preserved them in his quiet yet crowded mind.

There
was no pain in those eyes, he noticed. And somehow his body became cold and his
heart became warm at the observation. They remained silent for a while,
thinking, musing, watching each other until he felt it was too unbearable and
greeted his lover with a slightly raspy good morning.

The
answer, a cheeky yet indifferent reply was anticipated but never ceased to
surprise him. He guessed he half expected his lover to snap at him and left him.
Chills ran down his spine at the thought that quickly pushed aside when his
lover pressed soft lips on his and he responded by pressing their naked bodies
close together. The dry remnants of their passion felt sticky on their skin, but
none seemed to care, being otherwise too occupied.

He
felt his fear expanded when he broke their kiss, so he wrapped his arms around
his lover�s slender body. A small part of his mind kept telling him that his
lover would not return if he let him go. Because his lover chose to be with him
thus he was free to choose to leave him.

His
lover made a protesting sound, his discomfort to their sticky situation was
obvious, but he refused to let go. Finally his lover gave up, mumbling something
about his habit to stay in bed till afternoon making him lazy. Then came the
deafening silence that made him feel alone like his lover weren�t there with
him and he must pushed his lover away to see him to convince himself that
he�s still there. His lover, though, had other plan and used the opportunity
to leave the bed, avoiding his reaching hand by an inch and pulled the curtain.

He
must shield his eyes from the glaring light as the realization that this was not
his chamber and his lover was no longer the little boy he was, dawned on him. So
he watched his lover across the room mutely, quietly enjoying the view. The pale
body naked to reveal some telltale marks on his neck and chest, wild silver hair
a glowing halo with the sunlight behind him, eyes staring at him dark night sky.

Sometimes
he thought everything about his lover was black and white. Which made the
yellowish glow billowing his slender built seemed a little out of place, yet
oddly fitting. He stared at the body he claimed last night and many nights
before that, musing, marveling, thinking, seeing, watching, feeling the fear
started to consume him again. The time had passed so quickly, giving him no time
to breath. Now in front of him were a young man and not a young boy that needed
his constant support. It struck him that his lover could leave him anytime now,
as he was no longer in need of him, and especially after that fight yesterday.

Suddenly
his lover shifted on uncomfortably and looked away. Perhaps the bitterness of
his thought had shown on his face and scared his lover. He noticed slight
wariness on his lover�s face.

�I
want to take a bath.� Care to join me?

He
could felt the question hung in the air, a rude yet shy invitation, but an
invitation nonetheless. He felt a strong urge to get up and carried his lover
into the bathroom right away but fought it and stayed on bed, staring. His skin
tingled with relief and he fought back a sigh.

�Illumi?�
came a hesitant call as his lover turned toward him when he didn�t answer
right away, his expression bordering between challenge and insecurity.

He
made an indecipherable noise and got up. When he stood before his lover, he let
himself enjoying the familiar face for a moment longer before dipping down to
taste the sweet lips that had serviced him for years. As he broke the kiss he
felt the fear lifted partially, if not completely.

�Let�s
go for that bath.� He said as he held his lover�s hand and pulled him to the
bathroom.

Maybe
his lover would leave him one day, but that day was certainly not today.
Quietly, he saved his fear for another day.

O~WA~RI

A/N:
As I wrote this I thought about making a fic about their fight and the making
up. But we�ll have to wait till my smut mood return. I ignore other
character�s presence mostly bcuz I want to focus on how they view each other
and their relationship and especially the feeling that they had to each other
that you�ve never considered before. So that�s my attempt on showing the
aspects of their relationship I�ve never even considered exist until recently.
I hope I accomplished that mission all right. Read the sequence for this fic,
which I�ll probably post if you gave me good reviews. So start reviewing
minna!!
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Fear, Contentment and Lemon

Fear