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Notes: The italic speech was taken from the Weiss Kreuz DVD . Yohji and Aya aren't my usually muses so any OCC is my own as well as mistakes.

Lyrics from Breaking Benjamin and Imogen heap listened to while writing.

Something’s getting in the way

Withdrawn, that’s what he had been, not that there was anything different about it. Ever since he cut his hair, dyed it that insipid shade of yellow, Yohji had been a ghost to Aya. Europe made it even worse, leading to arguments, silence, than nothing. He missed the blonde, more than he was willing to admit to anyone, his sister included. The teaching position was enjoyable, if not stressful but he had time off from his life. When he was teaching, answering questions and being a role model he could almost forget the dead bodies. Yohji didn’t have that escape; all he had was a woman Aya didn’t trust.

Aya could remember a time when he and Yohji had shared a room, laughing all hours of the night paused for sex and chocolate. Flirting had become a habit for him, and he looked forward to missions with his lover. Asuka was behind Yohji, at least Aya began to believe that, and they were happy. Once upon a time ago. Now he lived alone, all pictures of Yohji hidden. The nights were hard and he missed the blonde. Nothing had changed in months and it hurt.

Something just about to break

They stood across from each other, Yohji’s eyes wild, his wire taunt, Aya in shock, katana lying by his side.
"What are you doing?" Aya’s calmly said.

"Don't move. I can't let you go on. Listen to me."

"You understand, if we fight, it won't be a tie," Aya said, eyes meeting crazed green.

"You or me. One of us will die."

"I want a new life. I'll leave Weiß, forget everything, and become a new person. I will be reborn." Desperation filled each word; Yohji searching Aya to find a flicker of understanding.

"With Eszett's cursed power?"

"There's no greater curse than the one I'm suffering right now." Finding none he closed off ignoring the others as they tried to reason with Yohji; he was lost in grief, seeing the face of Asuka everywhere, and Aya knew it

The red head lifted his katana, a silent invitation, and the two ex lovers fought.

I will try to find my place

Machines beeped in the silence, occasionally followed by a small moan or cough. Asuka looked down at her patient and smiled gently pushing his pale hair away from his brow. The roots had already come in and she studied the honey color. It suited him better, giving this Yohji a softer sexier look, a woman’s dream. He had been unconscious for days, tucked away in a Kritiker hospital in North Tokyo, special assignment written in red. A note stuck under the red writing.

Kudou Yohji
Public records: Deceased
Will form new identity and record if needed. Background on page 8
Contact Persia when he wakes.

She had never treated a man technically dead and almost wondered what had happened, not that it was hard to guess if the news was accurate. Turning she walked out, looking down at his vitals. Perfect as usual.

~~~


He blinked rubbing his shaggy hair and smiling brightly. Asuka was back, her soothing presence a relief and tried to focus on the words. The doctor looked at the chart in his hands.

“Well Kudou-san your CAT scans came back normal. All I can tell you is memories and the brain are a delicate area. There is really nothing we can do and you may never remember who you were.”

Face fallen, Yohji sighed, hand unconsciously reaching for Asuka, and at the squeeze said “Maybe its better this way starting a new life. I was pretty beat up. Just wish I could remember if anyone is waiting…”

“If you had any family they would have come by now.” Asuka interrupted.

“That’s true, Kudou-san. Just look forward, and be thankful you survived and are alive.”

So tell me how it should go…
Trying to find out what makes you tick

He had given up cigarettes years ago, but tonight the need came back. Pulling a Camel Silver from the pack, Aya lit the stick, breathing in harshly, eyes closed as he tried to find a way to tell Ken he was leaving. The team had fallen apart and Japan held to many memories of a blonde man, blood, sacrifice, death.

Aya’s shaky hand pulled the camel back, smoke filling the room as he exhaled. Ken wouldn’t be able to understand, only hold on to Aya and plead. He wasn’t strong enough to carry another person. Eszett and Yohji had made sure of that, each team member filling his mind, two dead, one with no memories, the other a hated Takatori, and Ken out of control and so like Farfarello. He needed a break, a new mission, and like always he had found something else, Mamoru ready in a moment’s time. It all spoke of guilt but it was an escape. New York. It sounded good.

~~~

Heavy footsteps followed the red head, hands jetting out to roughly grab one of Aya's hands.

“Aya wait! You can’t leave, what about the rest of us? The team?” Pleading eyes met violet, Ken holding onto the hand as tightly as possible, his own turning white from the pressure.

“I have to go.” Aya said gently, the first time Ken had heard that tone of voice directed at him. It was usually reserved for Yohji.

“But what about me?”

Aya looked back at Ken; “Goodbye Ken. Take care.” Pulling away hard, his hand slipped past the grip and he smiled, one last rare time. Ken looked away, hiding tears and when he turned back Aya was gone. The depression hitting Ken hard, he turned and walked away.

As I burn another page,
As I look the other way,
I still try to find my place

Yohji proposed to Asuka while in the hospital three weeks after being told he would never remember who I was. That was two years ago. Now they lived in a nice apartment near Yoyogi Park, a happy couple ready to try for a child. Yohji found a job in sales for Toyota near the hospital Asuka worked in. It sometimes worried Yohji that Toyota had practically waited for him to leave the hospital, reviewing and hiring him a day after his resume was submitted but it was Asuka’s idea so he let it go. They met for lunch, had quiet dinners at home and an active sex life. Everything was perfect on the outside.

Yohji still had no real memories just impressions of places, senses of déjà vu, and an instant attraction to dark red hair or dark violet eyes. The dreams of twisted bodies and strangled women came once in a while, but Asuka was there to sooth Yohji back to sleep with kisses and soft words. It all seemed so similar. Often Yohji told himself he should be happy; he was a lucky guy to have Asuka, but he craved something more, excitement, strong arms, pale skin, and a hard cock. He knew he liked women and after trying to kiss a man discovered men were not his preference except for one. He just wished he remembered who.

Secretly Yohji kept a watch filled with wire he had made a year ago in his pocket on an impulse. It made him feel more secure, stable and alive. Every time he put it on he smiled, and walked taller, twisting his hips slightly in each stride, looking like pure sex. Familiar but wrong. Often he wondered why.

~~~

“Get down!” A scream sounded off, making Yohji snap up from reading his deposit slip. Three men in black stood in the lobby of the bank, guns in hand and masks on. Customers ducked, Yohji among them, and huddled together. He ended up with a group of women, holding them close as they quietly cried.

“Listen up! As long as everyone is quiet and doesn’t make any sudden moves you will walk out alive!” the tallest of the three said, the other two walking to a blue eyed teller.

The women cuddled closer, Yohji immediately reaching for the watch in his pocket. Slowly he put it on, the sound of water rushing in his ears, and stood up. In seconds wire flew, gripping the man speaking and he pulled, choking the man as he struggled. Jerking his wrist, the wire let go and he turned to one of the masked men with the teller. The wire wrapped around the man’s arm as Yohji felt a sharp burning pain in his shoulder.

”Shit!”

“Let go of him or I will kill you.”

Gun pointed at him, Yohji smirked and winked, letting his wire fly.

His last thought was of a man bathed in light, pale skin and flaming red hair gazing up at him, eyes full of love. It felt like home.



Britain was cold, damp and new, everything Aya needed and wanted. His new team was coming together, made wonderful by the arrival of Ken. They lived together, worked in a floral shop and bonded. The red head found another blonde, slimmer and more spoiled than Yohji but willing to fuck and easy enough to back off when Aya asked. Chloe was nothing like Yohj; a sweeping man full of poetry and laugher, shaded with joy not regret, and Aya allowed the relationship to happen, holding all promises and love to himself, just happy to find a shoulder to cry on.

Chloe understood and tried to make each day a reason for Aya to smile, to lose the haunted look in his eyes for a moment. The blonde understood he was a rebound for Aya’s Yohji being used, but Chloe didn’t care. Aya passed the time and was sexy as hell. It worked and each man accepted the boundaries.



Yohji sat in first class, books on the tray notes next to them. When he had woken up from the bullet wounds his memory was there, as well as Asuka. All three of them crystal clear in his mind. It made him sick to know Mamoru had orchestrated his marriage down to the name of his wife and where he would work. Omi didn’t exist anymore in that twisted Takatori. After demanding to see Mamoru he was driven from the hospital to the office of Takatori. Their meeting lasted for an hour and when done Yohji had the complete file of Aya and Ken. It was good to know the head injury and bullet wounds hadn’t hurt his charm and wit. Two days later he filed for divore and boarded a plane to Britain.



The doorbell chimed, signaling another customer and Chloe looked up smiled, hands readying the bouquet he was working on. Aya sat at the second table a few feet back, his arms deep in greenery, orchids and roses on the side; Yuki manning the register. Yuki’s and Chloe’s eyes followed him as the blonde walked in. With one foot holding open the door, Yohji shook his umbrella semi dry and closed it. Green eyes followed Aya’s movements, not bothering to answer the cheery greeting.

Chloe narrowed his eyes, trying to place the face and moved toward the man. “What can I do for you?”

“I came to see Fujimiya Aya.”

The red head glanced up and when he saw his Yohji stopped working and dropped the skeleton of the arrangement. Blinking, he stood rooted in place and tried to speak.

“Been a while but same cover as last time? I would expect something else.” Yohji softly said in Japanese, keeping the conversation as private as possible.

Cutting in, Chloe exclaimed, “I remember! Yohji!” Closing his mouth and placing a hand over it after his scream.

Aya just stared, emotions running across his face from relief to worry, making Yohji lose his breath. Aya had changed, looking rested and at peace, not to mention shocked. The two stared at each other, so much to say hanging between them and just examined each other. Yohji re grew his hair, the normal much loved honey color back, and he looked healthy. Aya on the other hand cut his hair and allowed it to be its original color.

Sighing, Chloe rolled his eyes and placed a hand on one hip. “Hug already.”

Aya let out a laugh and in a blur two were embracing, running hands over each other and trying to not cry. They failed miserably. Pulling back, Yohji kissed Aya slowly, trying to memorize the softness and texture. Tongues swept in and they cried.

He had finally found home.