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Things Change	By : bitterfig Category: Fruits Basket > Yuri - Female/Female Views: 3234 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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- 1-Things Change
- 1
Author: Bitterfig

Title: Things Change

Fandom: Fruits Basket

Pairing: Honda Tohru/Uotani Arisa (Uo-chan)

Summary: AU. Nothing can remain the same forever, even in Tohru�s circle of friends. High school ends and Uo-chan prepares to leave to study abroad.

Rating: R

Warning: Yuri (femme slash), sexual situations, reference to violence.

Author�s note: This story was written for the new lj site furuba_fuh_q�s October challenge.

When you gonna make up your mind
When you gonna love you as much as I do
When you gonna make up your mind
Cause things are gonna change so fast
All the white horses are still in bed
I tell you that I'll always want you near
You say that things change my dear

Tori Amos

Winter

Things Change

I was going to university in the United States. I would be leaving for Los Angeles in less than a few days. We were eighteen, Honda Tohru and I, and we were saying good-bye. That afternoon we walked in the woods around the Soumas� house. She gave me her mother Kyoko�s overcoat. The overcoat she wore when she was my age and a tough like me.

I thanked her. I knew it was a special thing, a precious thing. Everything Kyoko had ever touched or owned was special to Tohru.

Tohru always spoke of her mother as almost holy. Wise, saintly and too good for this world. Kyoko was good; there can be no question that she was good. She was also wise, but she was much more than good and wise.

She was, like me, a girl who made mistakes. Who got involved in things she shouldn�t have, who did bad and foolish things. What made her special was that she learned from the things she did wrong, and in the end her errors made her better.

The example of Kyoko was what convinced me to leave my gang. It was hard--the hardest thing I ever did. I was jumped out, which wasn�t fun. All the girls who had been my best friends formed a circle with me in the center. They kicked me; they hit me with sticks and chains and their fists. They spit on me and cursed me. And that was the easiest part. The hard part was learning to live outside the circle of the Yankees. To be a girl without a gang. To be just Uotani Arisa, to be just myself.

It turned out myself was good enough.

I put on Kyoko�s overcoat. I�d worn it before, but Tohru clapped her hands as if she�s never seen me in it. She smiled and beamed, but there were tears in her eyes. She knew what an opportunity it was for me to study abroad. She knew how hard I�d worked to win the scholarship. She was sad to see me go, but she wouldn�t show it. She didn�t want me to feel guilty.

Sometimes I felt like I was Kyoko, an extension of her, a younger self sent to watch over her daughter. But now, like Kyoko, I had to go away.

�You don�t have to please me, Tohru-chan,� I said. �You don�t have to please anyone. It�s all right for you to be sad. I�m sad, too.�

�You are?� she asked, surprised.

�Of course I am. I�m excited to go, but I�m going to miss you and Hana-chan. I�ll miss my Dad. I�ll even miss the Prince and the noxious red-head. It makes me sad to leave because I love you. You can be sad, too. It lets me know you love me.�

Still smiling, tears began to flow down Tohru cheeks.

�Oh, Uo-chan,� she said. �I�m so happy to be sad. I�m so grateful for this chance to let you know how much I love you.�

I sighed and rolled my eyes, took a tissue from by pocket and dabbed at her tears. Who would protect her when I was gone?

�You have to look out for yourself while I�m away, Tohru-chan,� I said. �You think always of other people. You want to make them happy; you give so much. You don�t need to try so hard. Accept your needs and limitations. Trust what you feel. Nothing will make anyone happier than if you are just yourself.�

�My mother always told me that,� Tohru said, hanging her head. �She didn�t know that the things I feel aren�t always right.�

�So what if they aren�t? So maybe you do a wrong thing or make a mistake. You�re human.�

�I�m afraid,� she told me shyly. �I�m afraid because everything is changing. Is it selfish that I don�t want you to go?�

            Amidst the trees of the forest, we embraced wordlessly. We clung to each other with the fierceness of all our sorrow and fear, but also of our love. We clung to each other, never wanting to let go, but knowing we would let go and years would pass and change would come.

            She kissed me. I kissed her back.

For all my running with a gang and her living in a house of men, we were a couple of virgin girls. We shouldn�t have known to do what we did next, but we did. We made love. It flowed as a continuation of our embrace, our longing to hold on to each other, our desire to be a part of each other. Under Kyoko�s overcoat, her hands cradled the fullness of my breasts, my hand finding between her thighs, coaxing the soft cavern of her interior to slippery openness. She trembled in my arms and I in hers as our fingers moved inside each other till, finally, our fingers were laced together, legs were entwined, enflamed vulvas pressed together.

            I would have told her that she�d taught me I could love and be loved. I would have told her she deserved as much and more. I would have told her she did not need to be perfect or to be holy. That Kyoko was neither of those things, so she shouldn�t expect herself to be. I would have told her to be selfish and angry, to make mistakes but to learn from them. I would have told her I would always carry her with me in my heart. I would have asked her to carry me in her heart and to be tough and fierce when the occasion merited.

            There was so much I wanted to say, but my mouth was full of hers and I was not so wise myself � so we let it all be said by that embrace.

            I left, things changed.

It was not easy to be eighteen years old, a Japanese girl in Los Angeles without family or friends. There was always temptation to lose myself, in drugs or dreams, to women and men who would have told me what to be, but I held on to myself.

Through it all, I carried Honda Tohru in my heart. I hope she has carried me.
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Things Change