Out

This story
follows the
events in
'Kiss"


I do not own FAKE
and am making
no money from
this story.

This is dedicated to
guregirle because
she suggested it .

No sex , some mature
themes and bad words .


I am Catholic and know
many Gay Catholics .
The events here
mirror a coming
out story near
and dear to me .

I hope to offend
no one !

Moon




Saturday, August 7th , 11:12 am


Drake's visit to his parent's house had gone downhill rather quickly .

" It's a sin ! " his mother had cried . " How will you ever go to Mass again ? ! "

" I've already sinned , Ma , " Drake had shouted back . " I've killed more than once ! Afghanistan , the marine corps , remember ? "

" That was war , " his mother had reasoned . " You did what you had to do . "

Drake stood and grabbed his smokes angrily from the kitchen table . " This is love , Ma . Does that make it worse ? "

He stood now in the tiny back lot that made up the yard he'd played in as a boy . Remembered summers like this twenty five, thirty years ago ; blues skies and blazing sun ; hot , humid heat . Climbing the hurricane
fence to sneak over to Bobby Brewer's house next door . Chasing his younger brothers , Andrew and Tommy , through the vegetable garden . Waiting for Dad to come home , hoping he'd stopped at the corner market to buy them some freeze pops to beat the heat .

And now his mother expected him to chose between all of this , and JJ . Because apparently , if he stayed with the person he loved , he was out . Out of the family , at least .

His hands shook as he tried to light his smoke for the fourth time , gave up , and hurled the cheap Bic across the yard . The back door opened then , the chimes attached to it jingling familiarily. Drake stuffed his hands in the pockets of his cutoffs and didn't turn around .

His father settled with an arthritic groan into the patio chair behind him . Drake heard the crinkle of cellophane, smelt the tang of a match strike and heard his father's deep inhale .

" Here . "

Reluctantly he turned and accepted the marlboro from his father's outstretched hand . A muttered thanks escaped his lips . Matthew Parker lit one for himself and leaned against the chair back , stretching his stocky legs before him .

" Sit down , " he said after a time , and Drake grudgingly dropped onto the back porch steps next to him . Neither said anything for a long time .

" She'll come around, eventually , " his father said , breaking the silence at last . Drake gave a non-commital snort . His father turned a sad face to him , weathered far past his sixty-five years .

" It's a hard life you've chosen , " he said quietly . " Are you sure this boy's worth it ? "

Drake let his jaw unclench . " Yeah , Pop , and he's not a boy , he's a man . A cop , just like me . " He looked into his father's watery blue eyes . " You gonna lecture me now too ? ' Cos you sure didn't get a chance back there with her blowing a gasket like that . "

" Don't disrespect your mother , son , " his father simply said , and took another drag .

Drake stabbed out his smoke . " Sure , Pop , " he said , standing up . " No more than she did to me, when she told me I was going to burn in Hell . "



What an idiot he'd been .

His mother had always ruled the house with a stubborn, fiercely Catholic fist . Had he expected her to be swept up in the happiness he'd felt for the past three months , and blithely accept the bombshell he'd dropped ? His father's passive reaction was no surprise at all ; for a jaded cop of his generation he was actually very liberal . It 'll be a hard lifestyle, he'd advised saddly . You'll be ridiculed, and held back at work . Do you really want that ?

Drake rode the trains home on that beautiful summer day , lost in thought . Numbly he made his transfers, walking street level at times before entering the subway again . He couldn't bear to go to his apartment yet , to the relief of air conditioning and JJ's sweet, smiling face . Everything seemed to be slipping out of his grasp ; the beautiful townhouse they would move into next month , his family , the man he loved .

It's a hard life , his father had said .

Drake was sick of having a hard life .

" Where have you been ! " JJ demanded , half panicked , when Drake finally retuned home at four pm . " You told me you were just stopping at your parent's house for a quick visit ! I 've been calling your cell for hours --"

Drake sighed , his shoulders sagged in defeat , and shut the door behind him with a click .

" I told them . " He looked into JJ's startled , frightened eyes , and revealed with his own bleak expression how badly it had gone .


His siblings, wrapped up in lives of their own , had reactions less extreme . Andrew was his only remaining brother , Tommy having been killed in Iraq four years ago .

" Guess I'll have to carry on the family name, then , " he'd laughed nervously . Drake hated the way his brother looked at him with a subtle difference in his eyes, but smiled at the inside joke just the same . Drew's wife was pregnant with their fifth child now .

Melissa , his youngest sister , was delighted he 'd finally settled down with anyone . She was secretly jelous too , she said . She was a uniform at the 27th , and had met JJ a few times . She thought he was cute .


Theresa was at Angela's house when he told them . Both were shocked , but quickly overcame their surprise by pumping him full of questions . ( "So , do you kiss, and hold hands , and eveything ? " ) .

Connie he'd saved for last . Telling his eldest sibling made him even more nervous than telling his parents .

She was not pleased.

" Did you think I wouldn't find out you'd already told everyone else first ? " she demanded . " You know what a big mouth Angie has , LB ! "

Drake winced at the one -time nickname . Little brother . She hadn't called him that in years . " So ? You gonna kick me to the curb now too ? "

" I ought to ! You're supposed to come to me first ! "

To his horror Drake found his eyes filling with tears . His mother's rejection was bad enough , but not his closest sister , too .

" Don't be mad , " he sobbed . " Please , Con ; don't hate me ! "

At once he found himself in her arms . All the emotins he'd pent up for so long poured into her . The confusion at finding himself in love with his partner , his best friend, another man . The stress of hiding the secret
of his happiness like he was some shameful deviant . The stinging criticism of his mother , the passive disappointment of his father .

" Did you think we didn't wonder , LB ? " Connie whispered . She rocked him in her arms as they sat together on her couch . " You never once had a girlfriend longer than a few months , and they were all a bunch of bimbos anyway . "

" Hey , I almost married Cathy Donohue , remember ? " Drake sniffed , pulling away and swiping at his eyes . The relief at her words was overwhelmimg, but now he'd started crying he couldn't stop .

" Yeah , praise Jesus that fell through , " Connie chuckled . She held him again , rubbing his back . " Mom had a fit when I married Phil too , remember ? " ( Her husband was a Baptist . ) " And she forgets , grandma didn't want her to marry daddy . Didn't think he was good enough . She told me so herself . So , I guess you two are a lot more alike than you know . "

She kissed the top of his head . " She still loves you , LB ; we all do . No matter who you chose to spend your life with . "

Drake cried against his sister's shoulder , and hoped beyond hope she was right .


Thursday , September 10th , 3 : 25 pm

Drake and JJ had been in their new townhouse a little over a week . JJ had the day off while Drake worked first shift . He was hanging pictures in their living room when the doorbell rang .

" Coming ! " he called on his way to answer it . A woman in her early sixties stood on the front step . JJ was sure he'd met her before , but couldn't quite place her .

" May I help you ? " he asked politely .

She smiled , but it was brief . " I 'm Mary Parker , " she said . " Drake's mother . "



JJ met Drake at the door . " We have company , " he began . Drake's eyes slid from his lover's face into the living room . Oh , shit .

" Ma, " he said warily , going to greet his mother . She sat on the loveseat , a cup of coffee on the table in front of her .

" We got your address change in the mail last week , " she said quietly . " I thought I wouldn't wait for an invitation . "

Drake huffed . " You expect me to believe you'd have come if I'd invited you ? " he asked . They hadn't spoken in a month .

" Drake - " JJ interrupted . He frowned at Drake's angry face . " Don't talk to your mother that way . " He laid a calming hand on his lover's arm to forestall his retort . " Please , no more fighting . "

" I didn't start it ! " Drake snapped . He looked at his mother's face , unable to resist . " Well ? Did you get what you came here for ? "

" Drake -- ! " JJ exclaimed , but it was Mary who cut them off this time .

" Yes , I did , " she said quietly , but she wasn't looking at Drake . She was looking at JJ .

" You know , Ma , I have everything you always wanted me to have , " Drake went on , stepping toward her . Behind him JJ threw up his hands and made a sound of disgust , which he ignored . " I have a career , and a beautiful home , and someone who loves me . I want to spend the rest of my life with JJ , but I want to have my family , too "

His voice took on took on a note of anguish . " I'm still your son ! Why do you have to make me chose ? ! "

" This isn't something so easy to accept , Drake -- "

" Do you think it was easy for me ? " Drake cried , placing a hand on his chest . He looked to JJ quickly . "Babe , you know I love you ; but --"

" I know , sweetie , " JJ whispered , tears tracking down his face . " I know , I know . "

" Drake Matthew , " Mary said sternly .

" I'm a grown man , Ma , " Drake said . " This is my home . My life . You're my mother and I love you , but I love JJ too . " He faced her squarely . " If you can' t accept that , then you can't accept me , either . "

The bitter exchange fell silent , the only sound JJ weeping miserably behind them .Drake had a hand around his lover's arm , but his gaze remained locked on his mother's face . She returned his stare just as stubbornly .

" He's a good boy , Drake , " she said at last . " Probably nicer than any of those girls you ran around with . That's what I came over to find out . You bring him our way next time , so everyone can meet him . "

Drake barely dared to hope . He pulled JJ closer . " When do you want us ? " He asked stiffly .

" Sunday ; after Mass . " She stood and gathered her purse , and looked over his shoulder .

" Thank you for the coffee , JJ , " she said with a nod .

JJ managed a watery smile . " You're welcome here anytime , Mrs. Parker . "

She smiled genuinely this time . " Call me Mary . "

Drake and JJ lay in the dark later that night , cuddled together like children . JJ was quietly detailing his two-hour visit with Drake's mother to his lover's horrified ears . Drake couldn'rt believe his sweet natured lover had been at the woman's mercy for that length of time without him .

" It wasn't bad at all , " JJ said , head pillowed against Drake's bare chest . " Until you came home and you two started yelling at each other , that is . "

Drake gave him a squeeze . " Sorry about that , Babe . "

JJ kissed his collarbone . " That's okay, sweetie ... She was really very polite . I was a good boy and answered all her questions . Well , except one..." , he recalled .

Drake made a questioning sound , stroking JJ's hair .

" When I gave her a tour of the townhouse , she wanted to see our bedroom . Then , she sort of asked what we did in here . Who did what to who . "

Drake groaned and covered his face with one hand . " Oh shit , she didn't , " he said . " Tell me you're kidding . "

JJ chuckled . " 'Fraid not . I just smiled and told her in a nice, inoffensive way it wasn't any of her business what we did in here . "

" And you lived ! ? "

" We got along great after that . She asked me about my background and I asked her about your childhood . " He looked up at Drake in the dark . " I never knew you slept with a 'special blankie" til you were fifteen ? "

Drake by now had buried his face in both hands . " Oh my God , do I have any secrets left ? "

JJ laughed and sat up , attempting to peel his hands free. " Stop being such a drama queen ! So what if you sucked your thumb til second grade , or sang 'Jesus Loves Me ' in the shower everynight..."

" Enough ! " Drake begged , face beet red .

JJ giggled , rolling on top of his lover . Drake's hands fell away to grip his waist .

" I don't know about you , " JJ smiled , " but I'm really looking forwrd to Sunday . Most of all , I can't wait to meet your sister Connie..."

Drake squeezed his eyes shut in humiliation . " Is there no way out of this ? "

" Nope , " JJ breathed , leaning in for a kiss . " And I suppose I need to start making you
feel better right now . "

And he did , for the next hour , at least .