Camels Straw

Camels Straw

By InspectorZenigata
AKA Coventry Cullipher


~~~~~~~~~~

"Oh, I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, there they are a sitting in the road.." Lupin giggled, mind more on the set of coconuts he was after, and less on the flowers he was arranging in the Ming vase he had stolen just a few hours before as, with any luck, an engagement present.

"I'd like to see them sitting on my head...." Looking up from the manhandled and drooping roses, Lupin perked an eye at the ball of nicotine smoke that hovered over his couch. "Ya know, sometime I might want the security deposit back on this place...and that's not going to happen if the tasteful eggshell white trim is chain-smoker yellow." A large plume of smoke blowing past his face was the only response he received as Jigen turned to regard him, then settled back in his seat

"Well, if I do survive all the heists I could want, its nice to know I'll die of cancer for years of living two feet from you, Mr. Chimney. Now if you don't mind, do be a dear and clear the hell out while I prepare for my date with Fujiko." The thief sighed, folding his hands long the side burned jaw. "Oh Fujiko my darling, you can't wait any longer? You must jump into my arms right at this moment?"

The gunman sighed and turned his back to the man as he began kissing the air, murmuring words such as "pink little bows" and "just a love bite..."

“If you give that bitch a single thing I had hand in stealing, I will take if from her mangy hide with interest.” Another roll of smoke “And yours too.”

“Well, if I do give her anything like that, I’ll let you know. Until then, take a hike. How can I have any hope of getting busy on that couch again with you plastered to it like gay to Goemons hair cut."

“I’m not going anywhere, my funds paid for this room too...and….Aw Hell No!” Jigen sat up right, staring at the giggling thief.

“Hell No! Did you say-“ he pointed at the man, who begun to lapse from giggling to full blown laughter. “-here-“ Eyes wide, Jigen scurried backwards, crashing off the arm of the couch in the shag carpet of the room.

His hat... where was his…

“Son of a Bitch, that slut-and you-and... I... Oh For Gods SAKES!” Jigen’s dark skinned hand came up over the side of the couch, pausing a few times before finally getting up the courage to pat around for his hat.

“I’ve been there all day! I even took a friggin’ nap there! I had a damn good dream Lupin! Ya hear me? A DAMN GOOD DREAM!” The gun-man’s voice raged from beside the couch, only one gangly leg of the thief showing. “and now it’s ruined! I can’t even think about it… without… oh, son of a bitch, you bastard! All I can see is you and he- ugh! I’m going to bed! Wake if the whore’s STDs finally eat her alive, got it?!”

Standing with an angry grunt, Jigen glared at Lupin and checked his hat over while mumbling under his breath.

“Aww…. Now don’t say such things about her. No point mumbling if I can read lips.” Lupin taunted at Jigen’s passing form.

The blue grey suit stopped, the gunman’s hands clenched into tight fists. Then, as suddenly as it happened, he sighed, his lanky form relaxing. Head low Jigen backed up a few paces and silently wrapped his fingers around the Jack bottle he had left on the table, drawing the booze closer then a lover. “Don’t wake me up even if she does get eaten alive... I just don’t care anymore.”

~~~

He didn’t even put the effort into slamming the door. Just shut it 99% of the way and let himself fall onto the lumpy bed.

Jigen groaned, grinding the heel of his hand in his forehead, but no matter the pressure from it, it did little to chase away the headache sneaking up on him like a an elephant at a disco.

Uncorking the slim necked bottle with his teeth, Jigen spat the stopper across the room, listening to the pocking sound as it landed smoothly in the slightly open drawer he had neglected to close earlier.

The front door opened just about the same time the umber liquid began cutting a burning swatch down his throat, and he swallowed faster, praying the sound of the woman’s crooning voice and Lupins answering call would drown in his sodden mind.

~~~~

“…Jigen…”

He started the sound of his own name cutting through his drunken haze like a chainsaw through a defenseless animal. What was going on?

“..It smelled awful! And now the scent of old smoker is never going to leave this dress.” Shit. Why couldn’t he have just stayed asleep? There was much better ways to wake then to the voice of Satan herself. Jigen use to joke that he sold his soul to the devil, but those dried up after he met Fujiko.

He wouldn’t want to be sold to something like her.

“I’m sorry Fuji-cakes… he wouldn’t leave. And I was looking forward to reenacting our last date on that couch.”

The gunman reached for the bottle, fingers sliding along the cool glass a few times before finally snagging and allowing him to drag the bottle to his mouth.

“Well, I refuse to get any more Ode of mafia dog on my clothing. There is a bed in here.. I’m sure it will work better then the couch anyways. Last time, you hit your head something awful.”

Karma must have had some damn good dirt on him, Jigen mused, eyeing down the thin neck of the bottle, to the empty bottom, graced only with a thin circle of booze.

“Maybe it’s all those bastards I’ve killed...” he muttered, tossing it aside. The words spoke in the next room shifted in and out of his minds ear, him ignoring all he could, pretending he had ignored what he did hear.

The clink of dishes on silverware, silverware on dishes, teeth on cups of liquid he wanted badly, mingled with sounds from each, words, thoughts, small nods and smiles. He could hear it all.

It made him sick, listening to her purring voice, knowing she was just supping on his stupidity towards her, slipping more money free from their hands then he dared to let himself think about.

But he had warned Lupin this time. And if he went ahead with it, Jigen was ready to just leave him and the whore to each other. See how long it lasted when he wasn’t there to help in his heists, without the funds to keep Fujiko happy.

“Did you get it?”
The gunman sat up a little taller, alert at the words.

“Did I get what? The most perfect diamond ever to rest right on your most perfect rack and invite me to dive right in? Of course Fuji baby”

The wastepaper basket rebounded of the far wall, the echoing clang of it ringing in Jigen’s ears still as he walked across the hall and kicked open the door to Lupins room, anger cracking about the dark man.

“Jigen?” Lupin asked, confusion on his monkey face as he looked up from the floor, from where he was kneeling at the bitch’s feet.

The gunman breathed deeply, fast and deep, eyes locking on the Sarci Diamond that he had almost got his ass shot off getting.. Lupin hadn’t been there, in the middle of it all. The bastard had been miles away, distracting Pops!

“Lupin… can we talk?” He asked, the words forced out in a growl, unwilling to look at the affronted redhead that sat on the room’s large bed.

“Jigen… can it wait? I'm sorta in the middle-EIPP!” Lupin yelped as he was dragged to his feet and into the hall before he had a chance to react.

“Wonderful timing Pal… just great. Do care explaining just what the hell that was, hmm Jigen?!” The younger man raged, angry words snapping in the gunman’s unfazed face.

“We- you and me- WE stole that gem. You have no right to just hand it off to her. She did shit for it, and I got a busted rib for it.”

Lupin laughed, shrugging off the enraged man glowering inches from him. “We can always steal more Jigen… but there will only be one Fujiko.” He turned, not even giving his partner a second look as he stepped back towards his room and the waiting bombshell.

He should have been expecting it, what with the way Jigen had acted, snatching him from the room. But he didn’t. Lupins hands went to his neck, clawing a bit at the momentary feeling of choking as Jigen dragged him backwards in one powerful movement; giving him no time to realize what was happening until the door to the gunman’s room was locked behind him.

“That’s it Lupin.” Jigen’s words were ignored as Lupin studied the locked door, unblinking in the disbelief.

“Lupin... Lupin!” The thief jumped as Jigen’s strong hands closed over his shoulders, slamming him to the wall and pinning him there. The shudder rippled the room, a small knickknack meeting its end as its perch quaked.

“Listen to me!” The wall shuddered again as he was bounced off it more, as if to emphasize the gunman’s words. “Fucking Listen to me for once!”

Lupin gulped, unable to take his view from the deep dark blue eyes boring into his, and the rage that smoldered there. He had never seen the gunman this angry before.

“O…okay Jigen Chan... we can talk this out. What’s up, my crazy friend?” He laughed nervously, the sound spoiling in the air.

“That Whore is Not getting anything else WE steal! Got it?” The smell of Jack wafted over the thief’s face, strong and bitter as Jigen raged. “We stole it, WE keep it! What the hell do you see in that bitch anyways? Why do you keep coming back to her?! She is a whore and a double crossing slut!”

Lupin could feel his heart beating out of control, fear digging at his body, at the unreadable expression that had slid onto his partners face, almost as if he was just playing a part.

“Why?” He asked again, the word barely coming across the liquid drowned lips.

“Because… because she is always the same. I know what she wants me for, she knows what I like best about her... and she will always be there for me, as long as I can bring her what she wants. No one else stays around, no matter what, as well as she does. She may be using me, you think I don't see it? That I'm blinded by her charms? I'm not stupid Jigen, I know her game enough to recite the rules… its just better then playing nothing. As long as I play, she will always be there, no matter what. No one else has ever been.”

Lupin sighed as the gunman’s deceptively strong hands let go of him, letting him step away from the wall. “Jeeze.. I don’t know what crawled in your ass and died, but its making you a pain. And this is something I don’t want to talk about… ever. I hate to do it, but I'm going all boss order on you. Never want to talk about this again.”

The thief’s lips pressed into a thin line as he turned to face the mirror, adjusting his tie. “The girl likes gems, I like having her around. She will either be here for the loot, or try to con me into something worse if I don't give it to her.”

“…no one else has ever been there for you?” Jigen asked softly, the words so quiet that Lupin only glanced at his reflection with a peaked eyebrow, unsure if the moping gunman had said anything at all.

“..no one else..” That time he was sure the fedora’d man had spoken “Better not be talking about that thing I said I don't want to ever talk about..” Lupin warned, struggling with getting his yellow tie to knot correctly.

He saw it. The flash of metal, even in the dark room, he saw it a moment before the mirror exploded in a cataclysmic shower of light and pointy parts.

He didn’t even blink, just stood there, dark brown eyes watching the red as it threaded down his face, visible thanks to an unbroken sliver of mirror that reflected his frozen state back at him.

“I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THERE FOR YOU!” Shocked, the thief slowly looked over his shoulder as the drunken man raged, gesturing with his gun, which Lupin suddenly had a healthy fear of.

“That bitch would sell you out for a dime, and I’ve been tortured, shot, stabbed, and lord only knows what else for you!”

“…...Jigen?” The younger man blinked, then raised his hand, brushing away the blood that had begun to drip to the floor under him.

“But you never saw it, did you? All you can see are the whore’s breasts and nothing beyond that. If it didn’t have tits and a nice ass, it’s not worth seeing, isn’t that right, Mr. Lupin, world famous womanizer?”

Lupin frowned “Hey now, there’s no need for name calling now Jigen.. I don't know what the hell your friggin’ problem is, and there is blood on the carpet!” He yelled back, stalking towards the gunman, shock having faded into anger. “I’m never getting my deposit back now!”

“Money… you and your god damn MONEY!” Lupin stumbled back as Jigen rushed forward, closing the space between them and shoving the master thief like a school yard bully.

“Money you are losing to her.. money you are giving to her, stealing for her.. her, her Her!” The liquor and rage fueled gunman kept advancing as Lupin backed up, crashing against the dresser, mirror crunching under foot as the bruising pushes kept coming.

For once, Lupin was too stunned, confused.. too… everything to fight back.

Jigen was attacking him. And it was him. Not some brainwashed or drugged shell of his friend. Unless you counted booze. And in truth, if there wasn’t liquor, it wouldn’t have been Jigen.

A grunt jarred lose from his lungs as the wall came up behind him again, framed items slapping against the wallpaper as he did.

“Money and the whore… the whore and money. So that’s it huh? Boobs or Bucks? Cans and Cash?” Jigen s normally hidden eyes searched Lupin frightened face, before the hate and anger drained from them.

Unsure, Lupin held still, worried both about himself and his partners well being. “Ji-Ji? Do you need more jack.. or less mayb-“

Soft.

Warm.

Sweet.

Even with the bitter rake of alcohol and the fine layer of nicotine on them, those three words were the first things on Lupins mind as Jigen dragged him close, mouth pressing to his with an animalistic need, as if trying to forever claim the thief’s lips as his own.

Even with the flavor of his own blood tingling on his tongue.

“I was hoping loyalty and friendship…” The stormy blue eyes slid shut, a bourbon soaked sigh brushing past Lupin. The fingers digging in his skin loosed, dancing in slow sorrowful movements along his arms before falling free and dangling like useless string at the gunman’s sides.

“Decide what you want.. what’s important to you. I can’t stay here.. not with her there. I’ll be back in a week. If you are here.. I know. If not, I’ll pack my things and head back to Chicago.”

The crisp October wind ruffled the open curtain, scattering a few stray papers from the nightstand about the room.

And he still stood there, the cold soaking him to the bone, ignored as Fujikos demands and pounding on the door.

Jigen was gone. He has stood, unmoving as the man stepped out the window and out of his life. And stood watching the last spot he had seen the dark suit, knowing it wasn’t going to just reappear…

One week.

He had a lot of thinking to do.