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Anxiety-Ridden Honeymoon ~Mellow Version~	By : AsukaAndShinjiForever Category: +M to R > Neon Genesis Evangelion Views: 10470 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Anxiety-Ridden Honeymoon ~Mellow Version~
- 1
Anxiety-Ridden Honeymoon ~Mellow Version~

Sailor Star Dust Dec.2006, Jan. & Feb. 2007

Rating: NC-17 for H content

Disclaimer: Evangelion doesn�t belong to me, but to the one and only kick-ass Studio GAINAX and Anno Hideaki-sensei.

---

AN: Well, this is my first H fic, though I'm not gonna say that "please go easy on me" stuff because it's NOT the first fanfic I've ever written. And there isn't any actual sex in this, mostly because I wanted to write something different from what's already out there.

Ich Liebe Dich -German for "I love you"
Aishiteru-Japanese for "I love you"

CREDITS: Inspiration for this fanfic goes out to several AsukaXShinji H doujinshi mainly: ReTake, Wonderful World, Asuka Aishisao Kimini, Asuka Trial, the Sonogo no Evangelion series (Shinji & Asuka After Story), as well as the Eva hentai video, the fanfic Body heat by Axel and Disaster, and of course, I can't forget about crediting Evangelion itself. ^_^ By the way, the title "Anxiety-Ridden
Honeymoon" (it's track 16 on disc 5) comes from a description for an unused BGM from the S2 Works Box (A-4: Anxiety-Ridden Honeymoon, Mellow Version with Piano), although the main version of this song, not a variation, was used in EoE during the Pre-Instrumentality train scene.

You could wait a million
years and find Heaven's too far away from you. Love's just a thing that others
do. What is love, till it comes home to you? ~Arianne, Everything You've
Ever Dreamed

The LCL Sea's
blood-red waves softly lapped on the nearly desolate beach, save for two living souls.
The full moon, streaked with LCL from Lillith-Rei's neck, shone brightly in the star-filled night sky. In the distance were the petrified Eva Series and Lillith-Rei's cracked head. Near the beach's shore, objects like
grave markers stood.

From one hung Misato's cross, the nail on the marker having
grown rust.

One of the other markers was knocked down. He had kicked down her marker at the frustration that she of all people didn't return...

Plunk!

Staring at the sky, the wide-eyed and disturbed young boy turned to the source of the noise.

The same feeling of comfort Shinji had around his mother or Rei, he had now.

Rei III herself was floating above the LCL
Sea, he watched her above a mound of something familiar and red. He suddenly remembered seeing the third Rei when he arrived in New Tokyo-3... By Rei suddenly appearing, could it mean he wasn't alone anymore? As he continued staring, Rei disappeared.

Puzzled, he sat upright.

Turning suddenly, he stared at the red thing, expressionless.

He wasn't alone,
after all? Did Rei bring her back?

Asuka, in her red plugsuit�her left eye and right arm bandaged�lay nearly motionless beside him. She was staring at the starry night sky.
He straddled the girl with an unreadable expression.
He had gone through far too much.
All he wanted was to be alive, in reality...
How could she have left him alone for so long? And why did she do that to him?
Sky-blue eyes widened as surprisingly strong hands wrapped around her neck.

The girl didn't resist despite the sudden pain.

Now he was strangling her in reality?
But she didn't want to die, not anymore... The reason she returned to begin with was so she could live on! She... didn't want to be alone anymore.

Hand moving, the redhead slowly raised her injured right arm.
She slowly�tenderly�caressed his cheek.

Shocked at the affectionate gesture�remembering his mother's farewell sometime before�and realizing what he was doing, the boy stopped.
He...he didn't just have to seek pain in life.
Pleasure was perfectly fine, too...
Satisfied that she was able to get him to stop, the girl gently brought her hand back down.
He instantly broke down, loosening his grip, his tears falling onto her cheek as her right eye widened. Broken emotionally, he began
sobbing right into her breasts.
Shocked by her kindness as well as the fact he was indeed alive in reality...with Asuka beside him. After a moment, her right eye moved down to coldly stare at the pitiful boy.
Disgusted he was crying; somewhat disgusted at herself for needing him, after all. She was also disgusted at their surroundings, remembering being LCL while interacting with the others in Pre-Instrumentality.
In the coldest voice possible, she finally broke the silence. "...I feel sick."
Tears halted, his blue eyes widened at the words.
"UAAAAAA!"
Ikari Shinji, savior of mankind from the fate of
Instrumentality, fainted as Sohryu Asuka Langley stared in silence.
----

I really am alive,
after all... Asuka's...with me. I know I made the right choice, but... Asuka...Be
kind to me. Don't leave me alone anymore! Why did you leave me alone?! I...care
about you, so please! Forgive me...! I'm tired...I just don't want to think
anymore. I'm just so...tired...

----

Noticing his quiet breathing, Asuka let out a sigh as her cold
expression softened. "Baka, why was he crying? And just how long was he
alone for?" Even if it was a short
time, being alone period is bound to make anyone lose it...The fact that he
tried to kill me, this time in the real world, shows he has a few screws loose.
Will he ever be himself again?

Asuka shuddered slightly at that, still quietly staring at
the boy.

Extremely fatigued, Shinji had ended up falling asleep on
her chest.

/"This is my mind
within Asuka." "Then, this is my mind within Shinji."/

/"Whenever I see
you, I feel repressed!" "Because I'm like you..."/

/"I want to help
you somehow. I want to be with you forever." "Then, don't do
anything. Don't come near me anymore. ...Because all you ever do is hurt
me." "Asuka, help me! You're the only one who can!"
"Liar."/

/"I hate you! I
hate you! I really hate you !"/

/ "I really hate
you! ...Wimp. But if it's with you, I'd rather die!"/

/"Stupid! I know
all about your jerk-off fantasies about me. Do it again like always, I'll even
watch you. If I can't have you all to myself, then I don't want anything from
you!" "Then, be nice to me..."/

/"I don't wanna
be alone...I don't wanna be alone...I don't wanna be alone!" "Don't
leave me alone." "Don't abandon me." "Don't kill
me!"/

/"Everyone should
just die...I should die, too."/

/"Everyone! I
really hate everyone!"/

/"Don't leave me
alone! Don't abandon me! Don't kill me!!" "...No."/

/"Then, none of
you hate me?" "Are you stupid? You're the one who wants to think
that!"/

/"Maybe...I could
learn to love myself."/

Remembering their encounters throughout Pre-Instrumentality
as well as Pre-Instrumentality itself, Asuka winced.

Remembering all that,
it's no wonder he fainted. Our minds being linked was hard on him, too...

Asuka looked at Shinji, visibly worried.

"Shinji never received any real affection in his
life...That's why I stopped him like that from strangling me, wasn't it? That
caress was probably more powerful than any blow could have been..."

I don't understand,
but I feel like my feelings for him overpower any previous anger I had. But
why? Because I have the will to live on? Because I don't want to be alone
anymore?

A sigh as she shook her head. "I'm thinking too
much."

She sighed tiredly, her eye moving up towards the starry
night sky.

At least I'm alive as
well as myself again. ...Mama...I can't believe it. Your way of protecting me
was for us to die together, after all? I can't believe you were in control of
the Eva during my final battle, after all. To think I dealt with all that by
regressing into a state of violence when fighting...To think I ran away like he
always did...! I hate it! No wonder I stated in that place sometime before
returning! I couldn't live on if I felt conflicted between living and dying!

Her right eye grew sad for a moment.

Looking back at Shinji, Asuka gulped slightly.

As she reached out to touch his hair with her injured,
trembling, arm, she silently prayed that he wasn't unstable.

Lovingly stroking his hair, Asuka gently said his name.
"...Shinji..."

Groaning, the boy stirred slightly, letting out a long
breath.

Gently opening his eyes, they slowly met hers, as if seeing
her for the first time since Pre-Instrumentality.

Blink. "...Asuka..." She nodded slightly as the boy sat
upright. Blinking again, silent.

----

Suddenly, everything that transpired during
Pre-Instrumentality hit him, hard.

Killing Kaworu-kun that day before
it...Suicidally-depressed, begging the then-comatose Asuka for help, only to
masturbate while looking at her breasts...Misato-san dying because she
protected him...Asuka dying at the hands of the Eva Series, and he wasn't able
to save her... Ayanami, possibly Lillith herself, showing him what
Instrumentality was like as he interacted with Asuka and the others.

Each of them being asked what they desired as their thoughts
and feelings were out in the open...

The final decision of an empty world with no others nor
yourself, or reality with pain and pleasure was left up to him...

Choosing reality because he knew his feelings were real,
congratulated in his mind by his loved ones and friends as he thanked them...

Saying farewell to his Mother...

Lying on the beach each day, waiting, until two months
later, Asuka had appeared, lying next to him...Asuka...

Desperately wanting to scream despite his throat being raw,
Shinji could only feel tears in his eyes instead. "I..."

His aching head pounded as he held onto himself, shaking.
"I...!"

Concerned, Asuka hugged him. "Hey. Sh...Shinji..."

He awkwardly held onto her back and began sobbing into her
shoulders. "I'm sorry...! Forgive me, Asuka! Forgive me!"

"It's alright, Shinji...Everything's going to be okay.
Thank you for letting the rest of us live on. And, although I said it before,
congratulations for finding yourself."

"Forgive me...forgive me...PLEASE! Just help me, Asuka!
Please! Help me, help me, help me!"

He sobbed louder, continuing to ask for forgiveness as well
as support.

Asuka frowned at his pathetic self-defeating attitude.

He was somewhat mentally unstable, after all.

"Did you even listen to a word I said? I said it's
alright now! If I didn't forgive you,
Baka Shinji, then why would I be by your side? I..."

Suddenly looking at the sand, regretful, she quietly added,
"I, um, know I wasn't exactly nice to you in the past, so I hope you can
forgive me, too. And Shinji, I will be here to support you. Okay? You just have
to take care of yourself first."

He brokenly replied, "A...Asuka, of course I forgive
you!"

Falling silent, he shivered in her arms. He had nearly
forgotten it was still winter. Especially being on the beach, no wonder he felt
so cold.

Asuka's injured hand gently rested atop his.

The only sound was that of the LCL waves lapping.

The boy couldn't keep his crush inside any longer.

He needed to finally admit his feelings in the real
world. "...Asuka."

He turned to her, nervous,
blushing. "Is it okay if I'm
yours...?"

She turned, her now-wide blue eyes meeting his.
"Eh?"

Sniffling, trembling, he looked up into her eyes.

Trouble saying the words.
"I like you. I...I lo...love you, Asuka..."

He smiled to himself, proud at having said it for the first
time.

Stunned that he did indeed feel the same, Asuka stared,
blushing, as she replied.

"Shinji...I...love you, too..."

At that, the couple embraced.

Until realization suddenly hit her.

/"You only care
about yourself...but you don't even like yourself!"/

"...No, you don't love me." Breaking away, Asuka had that rejected look
on her face.

The same look she gave him in Pre-Instrumentality as she
called him a liar...

"You don't love me!"

He looked hurt, confused. "What? Asuka, I do love you!
Really! I mean it!"

She raised her voice, body trembling.

"No, you don't! You don't love me!"

Eyes wet, Asuka turned red, clenching her eyes and fists
tight while yelling: "You won't even hold me!"

Inches away from his face as she leaned against his chest,
the redhead added, "How the hell can you love me when you don't even love
yourself?!"

His eyes widened, remembering...

/"Maybe I could
learn to like myself...Maybe my life could have greater value."/

/"You only care
about yourself...but you don't even like yourself!"/

/"You hate
yourself, don't you? That's why you hurt others, because you know it hurts you
more..."/

Blink. Nose-to-nose, his serious blue eyes met her
infuriated ones. "But...that's why
I'm still here. I, I WANT to learn to love myself so I can love you,
too..."

He was about to continue, when Asuka suddenly pulled Shinji
into a kiss.

----

His eyes widened as he blushed, his heart pounding.

Asuka's heart was beating fast, as well.

Her soft lips gently pressing against his, she slowly slide
her tongue into his mouth. He groaned softly.

Asuka's arms had long been wrapped around his neck, but
Shinji finally acted receptive by putting his arms around her waist and back.

Letting out a breath at that, Asuka hugged him tighter in
reply as she continued to explore his mouth.

Shinji moaned loudly, his erection pressing against her
stomach.

Asuka retaliated by kissing him harder, deeper.

Finally, the two broke away, both red in the face.

Shinji tried to think of what to say as he wished they could
have kissed that intimately the first time.

At least he could breath this time around.

He took in a breath, hoping his body would soon calm down.
He felt a little embarrassed that he could get turned on from a single�yet
deep�kiss.

Glancing at Asuka, he was stunned to see she had tears in
her eyes after stopping their second kiss.

Asuka was the type who never cried; she saw it as a sign of
weakness.

"You...you're crying? ...Asuka..."

The German girl smiled sadly at him. "Because...I'm
happy. You finally... held me..."

She tried to hold back a sob, but it was no use. She'd gone for far too many years without
crying.

Asuka crumpled onto the sand below her, burying her face in
her hands, sobbing brokenly. Feeling panic, Shinji knew part of the reason she
was crying was because of him. He also knew comforting her wouldn't help.

/"Then, don't
anything. Don't come near me anymore. ...Because all you ever do is hurt
me."/

He was suddenly overwhelmed with memories.

/"I don't wanna
be alone...I don't wanna be alone...I don't wanna be alone!" "Don't
leave me alone." "Don't abandon me." "Don't kill
me!"/

/"Don't leave me
alone! Don't abandon me! Don't kill me!" "...No."/

/"I don't like
anyone!"/ /"Everyone...everyone should just die. ...I should die,
too."/ /"Your thoughts of wanting to die...They are all what you
wished for."/

/"But if it's
with you, I'd rather die!"/ /"Then, none of you hate me?"
"Are you stupid? You're the one who wants to think that!"/

Blink. His hand began
twitching.

If all I can do is
hurt her, then...

He turned, slowly, sadly, walking away.

Then I shouldn't be
with her. I CAN'T be with her. ...Asuka...

Sniffling, Asuka suddenly realized what was happening.

"Shinji...?", she weakly called.

Silence. Panic.

Don't wanna be alone
don't wanna be alone don't wanna be alone don't wanna be alone don't wanna die
don't wanna die NO!

"No! Shinji, you can't leave me!"

Emotionless, "But, I hurt you. That's all I do to you,
so..."

Catching up with him, Asuka threw herself into his arms.

"Damn it, Shinji! DON'T let me be alone anymore!"

Shock. It was just like Asuka said in his mind during all
that!

Nobody hated him, it's just that he wanted to think that...

Whimpering, in a broken voice, she added, "Please. I
need you..."

He slowly put his arms around her in reply.

Tears filling his eyes as well, Shinji nodded. "Asuka,
don't leave me alone, either."

"Never. As long as you stay by my side, I'll stay by
yours."

Smiling sadly, the girl gently added, "Shinji...Baka
Shinji."

Shivering from the cold, Asuka snuggled deeper into the
boy's arms.

He held her tight as they tried warming up.

"Asuka. I just want you to know that I never meant to
hurt you. You said you forgive me, but, I really am sorry..."

She frowned at his words. "Anta baka? What have I told
you about only apologizing when it's your fault?" At that, she got right
in his face. "Don't act so self-destructive, it's annoying! You need to
have more confidence in yourself! Think positive and don't let immature
thoughts control you."

"...Okay." " 'Okay'?! Are you really
listening to me?" "I am! But it's not as easy as you make it
seem." "Just try me. Take my advice for once, okay?"

"...Okay, I will." He suddenly smiled. "Thank
you, Asuka. You're just looking out for my best interests, aren't you?"

The girl looked somewhat smug despite her cheeks turning
red.

"Well, of course! After all, I care about you..."
Neither knowing what else to say, Shinji gently hugged Asuka.

She suddenly let out a slight laugh. Curious, he looked at
her.

"The Hedgehog's Dilemma, huh? Did you know it's false
that hedgehogs� hurt each other with their spines? I mean, the point that fable
makes is interesting, but..." She trailed off. Shinji frowned, replying,
�So, why do people�why do we�keep on hurting each other?� The girl sighed. �I
wish I knew, but I really don�t.�

----

Wanting to change the topic, she softly kissed his neck and
cheek. "...Do you want me to kiss you again?"

The 14 year old smiled shyly at that. "Ok..." Her
lips sweetly met his, though Asuka was surprised when Shinji was the one to
initiate the french-kissing.

"Mmh...Shinji...Uh..." Her breathing grew heavy as
they kept on kissing, their hands roaming the other's body...

Feeling warm from their deep kissing and their intimacy,
Shinji groaned.

Eyes closed, he savored in the feeling, his erection pressed
against her stomach.

"Oh, Asu...ka...I love you..."

Breaking away from his lips, Asuka giggled. "Prevert.
Don't confuse sex with love." He smirked a little at that.

They cuddled while laying down together on the sand, feeling
content.

Neither felt like doing much.

She leaned her head into his shoulder as he put his arms around
her.

Asuka sighed loudly at the sudden silence. "Damn it,
this sucks! What are we gonna do now that it's just us?"

"Keep on living, I think. It's been working for me, so
I'm sure we'll be okay. Mother, Ayanami, and Kaworu-kun all said that as long
as people have the will to live, they'll return."

She frowned at that, visibly worried. "But would anyone
WANT to return? Everything's in such a sad state right now."

Frowning as well, the boy hugged her tighter.

Resolved, he smiled reassuringly, looking to her eyes.

"We're alive and well, right? We'll be okay, Asuka.
Because we'll keep on living, together..."

She smiled gently. "Yeah, you're right..."

Reassured that he had it together, she snuggled deeper into
his chest "You've gotten stronger, Shinji." Blinking, he suddenly
blushed at those words, flattered. "You think so...? Thanks."

He was so relieved that he wasn't alone anymore...

Gently kissing his temple, the girl sighed in his arms.

The peaceful moment was ruined, however, as Asuka's stomach growled.

-----

"Say, are you hungry?"

"Yeah. Just don't expect me to cook for you! You know I
can't cook anything."

"I know, I know. You don't have to constantly remind
me."

"Are you giving me an attitude, Baka
Shinji?!" "N-no, of course
not. I just.."

She giggled at him. "Relax already. I'm just giving you
a hard time, silly."

"Oh. A-Anyway, if you'd like, Asuka, I can make you
something later."

Standing, he stretched his arms. "I guess we should go
back to town and get some supplies. I just ran out of food today, so it's just
as well. " He made sure the toiletries and other needed supplies such as
means to boil water were still inside a bag nearby. He put the backpack on as
Asuka looked incredulous.

"Eh? You only realize all that now? Anta baka?"
"At least I realized it now as opposed to later. Anyway, Asuka, do you
wanna come with?"

"Hmph! I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself.
I don't need you by my side 24-7 you know."

Shinji nodded, though he looked worried at that. Will she really be alright by herself?

"Um, if you say so. Don't worry, I'll remember to make
you something when I'm back."

He walked away at that. Asuka sat in silence, looking at her
surroundings.

The redhead shuddered at Lillith-Rei's face and the
crucified Eva Series.

"On second thought...Um, Shinji?"

He was already gone.

Panicking, Asuka ran after him. "HEY! WAIT UP!"

----

"I wonder if Headquarters is far from here?"

"How should I know? Anyway, you actually wanna go back
to NERV?!" "But...we could find some water or maybe even food
there...."

They both frowned as he trailed off. Neither wanted to go
back there.

"Let's not, Shinji. I have the feeling it's a brunt
hole in the ground what with Lillith did and all."

�You're the one with the College education, so I guess you'd
know best."

She rolled her eyes, muttering, "You really are stupid. You don't need a College
education to figure that out!"

She let out a loud sigh before continuing. "Let's see,
we need to find both water and food, right? So why don't we look for some
intact stores so we can eat something and then try to turn in? I'm beat!"
"Okay. I think I know just where we can go."

As the pair walked in silence, he suddenly took hold of her
left hand as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

Both blushed as they managed to smile at each other.
"Um...Baka...what are you doing?"

Realizing that, he did was about to let go when she held his hand tighter.

"Ah! Sorry, I'll let go�" She giggled. "Honestly, Shinji! I
didn't say stop!" Silence.

He looked at the ground. "You know...I really do like
you, Asuka."

She smiled. "I know. I like you too, Shinji."

Suddenly realizing something, Shinji exclaimed, "Oh no!
Asuka., we have to go back to the beach later!" "Eh? I think I'm
gonna need a heavy dose of Prozac if we have to stay there! Why?"

"Misato-san's cross! I completely forgot about
Misato-san's cross! I can't just leave it there! She...she gave it to me after
I promised her I'd find myself...I have to hold onto it for her sake, I can't
just give up hope now!"

"Alright already! Just calm down, we'll go back after
we eat!"

The boy breathed out a sigh of relief at that.
"Okay..."

Noticing how happy Shinji looked, Asuka suddenly glared at
him. "SHINJI! I know what Misato
promised you!"

He promptly turned pale. "And I thought it was bad
enough you knew about the thing I did near you! But, but Asuka, I would
never�"

She cut him off, yelling: "If you do that with her,
I'll kill you!!"

He was shaking now as Asuka was right in his face, glaring.

"I'd never cheat on you... Besides, Misato-san's twice
my age! I think she was just saying that to make sure I'd pilot Eva!"

Pointing to his chest, she narrowed her eyes at him, adding,
"That's not the point! You're mine, nobody else's! Got that?!"

He nodded, too scared to verbally respond.

Realizing how scared he looked, she smirked a little.

The girl promptly hit his back, sending him flying.

"Cheer up already! I just wanted to make sure we're in
agreement!"

Letting out a yell, Shinji fell onto the ground with a thud.
"Oww..." Making sure he wasn't bleeding anywhere, he looked back up
at Asuka, glaring. "Stop hitting me!"
"Then stop spacing out all the time."

He sighed, shaking his head and mumbling, "Why do I
like you again?"

"What'd you say?" "No...nothing!"

Done with their light bickering, Shinji quietly spoke.
"Hey, Asuka? ...Thank you." "Huh? For what?" "For
being with me." They shyly kissed at that, stopping to kiss every so often
as they walked along.

----

Having finished eating, the two checked their supplies.

"You think we have everything, Shinji?"

He double-checked what he was about to carry.

"Let's see...Some clothes, blankets, a pillow, water,
instant and prepackaged food... Yeah. We should be okay for a week or so before
we have to look for more supplies."

Smiling a little, she helped him by carrying the clothes and
a blanket. "Thanks. I think I can manage the rest. At least we found some
bags to carry all this in."

"We were lucky that we found all this close by, you
know." "Yeah. But Mother and
them probably knew I'd decide this. I don't think they'd let me or anyone else
return without having the means to live on." "Yeah."

----

"Hey, there's the beach!"

Putting everything down to go and get the cross necklace, he
thought about his former guardian.

/"You did a very
praise-worthy thing today. You should be proud. Hang in there."/

/�Are you going to
quit now?! If you don't do anything...I won't forgive you. I'll never forgive
you for the rest of my life!�/

His eyes widened at that.

Misato-san...Would she
say such things now? Even after protecting somebody like me?

Sighing, Shinji shook his head. He had to stay positive.

"Hmm...maybe we should stay here tonight? We can always
find proper shelter in the morning."

"But this place gives me the creeps! Why'd you want to
still stay here?" "Ayanami will protect us... She's Lillith, it seems
to be her duty to watch over humanity...And, you never know. People could
return..."

Snuggling next to the boy, Asuka looked out at the red-blood
sea. "I knew there was something weird about that doll-girl, I just knew
it."

"So I guess you still hate her, huh?" "I
don't know...Since I was able to see everyone's mind, I, I guess that finally forced me to see
things from other people's perspectives. And, First ended up betraying
Commander Ikari to help you, so...My hatred towards her has cooled down."

"I see. Asuka, I'm sorry about with what you had to go
through..."

She blinked, puzzled. "You mean my past? I feel like
I'm getting over it already, and anywa--"

"I mean Pre-Instrumentality..."

"Hey, that's nothing you have to apologize for! And I
thought we already forgave each other for all that!"

She suddenly frowned at something. "Are you okay,
Asuka?" "Yeah, fine. Just lost
in thought. Anyway, it's nice we can be together... And in terms of our
problems, yes, we both treated each other badly and were selfish, but that's
all in the past now."

"You think we should both make a conscious effort to do
something about our depression? So we can be together forever?"

"Yeah. It's going to take a hell of a lot of work on
both our parts, since you have depression and anxiety while I have the starting
stages of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but I think we can get through
this together. I already took the first step of trying to change by reassuring
you, so that better count for something." "Of course it does�"

Shinji was cut off as Asuka suddenly kissed him. "What
was that for?" "Nothing really. Just cause I like you."

With that, the girl hugged him as he blushed, caught
off-guard by Asuka's personality change.

"Wow. You've mellowed out quite a bit after all that,
haven't you, Asuka?"

Glaring at him, Asuka started yelling. "What do you
mean "mellowed out"? I've always been this calm!"

Shinji made a funny face as his eye twitched. Then again...

-----

Not being able to hide his concern, Shinji asked again,
"Asuka...are you really okay?" "Yeah, I�m fine. It's just...My
shelter's gone. So, I have nothing left..." "...You have me,
Asuka." She blushed at that, flattered. "But...I...CAN'T just depend
on you! That's a false happine--"

He kissed her, holding her tightly as she whimpered sadly in
reply.

Breaking away, Shinji quietly said, "I don't want you
to depend on me, Asuka. I just want us to find happiness together." Not
knowing why, she silently cried at that while nodding.

Kissing her cheek, he started to cry, too. "It's the
third time I've seen you actually cry, Asuka." Getting defensive, the girl
snapped, "So? Just because you saw that memory of me crying when little at
Mama's funeral as well as those times I cried after the fifteenth's mindrape and
finding out about Kaji-san's death doesn't mean you have to mention any of
it!" "...But it's okay to cry, you know."

She narrowed her eyes. "That's alright; I'm not weak
like you." He instantly looked hurt.

Wincing, Asuka realized she was falling back into old
patterns that she wanted to break. "Ah, Shinji, n-no. I didn't mean that,
its just..."

"...Is that an
apology?" "Yeah. I'm...sorry."

He hugged her, smiling,
"I don't mind. I'm just happy you're with me."

She blushed at that, hugging him back. "Ye...Yeah. Me
too. Be strong, Shinji." "...Be strong?" "Yeah. We're in
this together, right? Let's be strong for each other."

-----

Several moments of silence had passed as Asuka and Shinji
hugged.

Although it was nice, she felt really bored.

She needed to do something or else she'd go crazy...

Sneaking a quick glance at him, Asuka smiled evilly.

Using the same causal tone of voice when asking him to kiss,
Asuka suddenly asked, "Hey, Shinji... Do you wanna do it?"

Shinji nearly fell over at that despite already sitting
down. "Eh?!"

She rolled her eyes, getting a strong sense of deja vu.

"You know, doing it, having sex, fucking, making love,
ecchi ("H") suru, whatever you want to call it."

Blushing, he somewhat angrily replied, "I know that!
But why? And don't say it's because you're bored!"

She smirked before seriously replying, her cheeks red. "No, that's not it. I may be harsh to you at times, but I really do love you, Shinji. You're finally giving me the love I always needed from you, and...I, I want to become one with you..."

He blushed a deeper shade of red at that. Remembering that dream he had of Misato, Rei, and Asuka when he was absorbed into Unit 1...
/"Do you want to
become one with me?"/
He also remembered feeling very happy seeing Asuka's breasts
in his mind just before Rei turned him into LCL... /"What do you wish for?"/

"Asuka. I, I, want to become one with you, too, but...but we can't. We're kids ourselves, and if anything were to happen to you, I'd..."

"Jeez, what is it with you and Kaji-san thinking I'm
still a child?! Anyway, Shinji, Japanese law says the age of consent is 13, so
we're okay." Smirking at him, she added, "Besides, we're the only two
people alive with physical form. Who's going to know or care?" With that,
she threw him something.

Catching it, he realized what it was as his face turned
bright red.

"Where...where did you get this from?!"

"I found a whole mess of 'em at the store. So, shall
we? I wanna be on top, okay?"
"Asu-ka! I'm telling you, we can't!
Even if you think you're ready, I'm not!"

Sighing loudly, she gave up, putting the condom away.
"Boring! Fine, then I'll just watch you. You can watch me, too, I don't
care."

He turned pale at those words, remembering...

/"I'm...the
lowest of the low."/ /"Stupid! I know all about your jerk-off
fantasies about me. Do it again like always, I'll even watch you. If I can't
have you all to myself, then I don't want anything from you!" "Then,
be nice to me..."/

"No way..."

/"Do it again
like always, I'll even watch you."/

"Asuka, you were serious about that?" "Of
course I was serious! Why else would I say that?!"

To say he was flabbergasted was an understatement.

"But...I mean...you...I...Huh?!"

Asuka let out a sigh, not understanding what his problem
was. "Anta baka?! It's no use playing innocent because I know you want
me."

Sitting on his stomach, she wrapped her arms around his
neck, pulling him into a sweet kiss. "Mmh. Shinji, come on. It's just
masturbating together. Since it's not actual sex of any kind, I don't see what
the big deal is." He let out a breath, knowing he was in a losing
battle. "I know, but..."

Teasing him, she asked, "Scared because you're not
ready?"

He actually got annoyed at her teasing. "I AM ready!
You wanna watch me that badly, then fine!"

In a huff, he began unbuckling his pants.

She placed her right hand over his. "Wait. Wait a
moment."

Blinking from confusion, he looked into her eyes.
"What?"

Blushing slightly, she giggled. "Let's undress each
other."

Suddenly self-conscious, Shinji gulped loudly as he blushed
in reply. "O�okay..."

They started kissing softly; gently holding each other. As
their kisses deepened, french-kissing, their tongues tangled, causing Shinji to
groan. His hands made their way towards her breasts as she squeezed his bottom.
Both were breathing heavily. "Uh...Asuka, I, I feel funny..."

She started kissing his neck, her warm breath tickling his
skin.

"I do, too...I can make you feel even better...Shall we
continue, baka?" "Yeah."

As she slowly began to unbutton his shirt, she giggled.
"You're so funny. Responding to "baka" as if it's your
name..."

He smiled, his cheeks red. "I've...gotten used to it by
now. Maybe because it's coming from you, but I see it as a term of
endearment..."

Kissing his cheek, she threw his white school shirt and blue
undershirt to the side. "Hmm...You
really do like me, huh?" Nod.

She gently kissed his chest, licking his hard nipples as he
shuddered. "Oh..."

She suddenly realized his erection was pressing against her
body.

"You're already hard just from making out? ...Aren't
you a prude when it comes to sex? What changed?"

"I guess I realized there's nothing wrong with
it."

"Good..." Her arms wrapped around his neck to
give him a quick hug.

Breaking away, the girl bent down to undo his pants.

----

His breathing went heavy at that.

Am I just imagining
making out with a girl, Asuka, of all people? This can't be real...

"Shinji! Stop spacing out and start paying attention to
me!"

...This is reality and
Asuka alright.

Looking down at the girl, he realized she was staring at
him, blushing. At the serious look on her face, Shinji couldn't help but blush
himself. "What is it, Asuka?"

Hugging his waist as she nuzzled his stomach against her
cheek, her blush grew as she asked, "Do I have your attention now?"
"Ye...yeah."

She smiled evilly at him, pulling down her plugsuit slightly
so he had a good view of her cleavage. "You're thinking dirty thoughts,
aren't you, Shinji?" He nodded as he stared at her breasts.
"...Yeah."

Wanting to excite him some more, the girl began talking
dirty. "Are you imagining me going down on you? Do I have you in my mouth,
making you come...?"
"Yeah...Because I want us to make each other feel good..."

"I want that, too." Pulling his pants off all the way, the only
thing left were his briefs.

They looked up at each other, unsure and nervous.

"Um...is it...okay if we do this at the same
time?" "S�Sure...I�d prefer that, Asuka."

He slowly began to pull down her plugsuit, fully revealing
her breasts and stomach... Stopping at her belly-button, their eyes met.

"On the count of three? Asuka?"
"Y�yeah."

They both counted, "One...Two...Three."

At that, they pulled the other's clothes all the way off.

Naked, Asuka and Shinji blushed deep red.

They were somewhat self-conscious and excited as they took
time to really admire the other's body.

"Asuka. You really are pretty..." "Thank you,
Shinji. I...I think you look nice, too..." Kissing her forehead, he
murmured, "I'll get those bandages off you, okay? I want to see your whole
body uncovered."

"Huh? Shinji, wa, wait..." But it was too late as
the bandaging for her eyepatch fell onto the ground, the one for her right arm
soon followed.

Taking a good look at her, he gasped. There were deep cuts
on her closed left eye and right arm.

Blue eyes wide, he breathed out, "Asuka...!"

Self-conscious, she bit her lip. "I know it's not nice to look at...but
I'm not in any pain. It's just injuries from that battle." "You
know...You're...still beautiful to me."

She looked surprised at his compliment then looked away.
"Eh? N�no, you're just saying that..."

"I'm not! You really are pretty, Asuka! I mean
it!"

Flattered, her eyes meet his as the couple continued
blushing.

Her eyes quivered as she looked at him.
"Shinji..." "What...?", he breathed out.

Feeling mischievous, Asuka grinned as she suddenly tackled
him onto the blanket. "Now I have you."

He gulped, too nervous to reply.

Realizing just how close they were, she kissed him, hard,
passionately, as they hugged tightly.

"A...Asuka..." "Hmm?" "We can do
other things besides sex to feel good, right?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why do you think I suggested
masturbating together instead? Baka! We can act like adults some other
time!"

Licking her lips, her eyes trailed down to his penis.

His body having calmed down, it wasn't erect anymore.

"Though I can't wait until we'd have sex. Then I'd suck
on you and fuck you until you couldn't take it anymore."

Breathing fast, Shinji felt himself get another erection as
Asuka watched on, curious. "Ah, there we go."

Looking up at him, eyes full of passion, she seductively
said: "Why don't you come for me right now?"

Nodding, he smiled nervously, surprised he wasn't shaking
yet. "Alright..."

Trying to calm his nerves, Asuka quickly added, "But,
first, I want to ask you something. And be honest with me, okay?"

"Um, okay...what is it?" "Shinji...who do you
fantasize about? When you...you know?"

"When I first arrived in Tokyo-3, I...usually found
myself thinking about Misato-san or Ayanami...but, after I met you, I...You
were the only person I thought about. I don't know if it was because you're
really pretty or the fact I instantly got a crush on you, but...I really,
really like you."

Asuka laughed out of embarrassment. "I...fantasized
about Kaji-san all the time. I thought he was the only guy for me. But, after I
met you, the same thing happened to me... Like when I was in the bath, I'd
wonder what it would be like for you to go down on me, or how it would feel for
us to have sex together... At first it upset me because I didn't understand why I liked you since you could be
pathetic at times. But, at the same time, I did
like you and all, so..."

"I'm...happy that you like me as much as I like
you...Though I'm not sure why I'm attracted to you, either. I just am."
"Hehe, it�s the same way with me. But what really makes me happy is
knowing I can get you hard."

Asuka's evil grin vanished as she realized what she just
asked her boyfriend. She instantly looked uncomfortable.

"...I don't even know why I asked you such a personal
topic...Was that wrong�"

Cutting her off, he smiled at her, softly kissing her nose.
"It's alright, Asuka, I don't mind talking to you about things like this.
Now, do you want to watch me?"

Blushing, Asuka smiled happily, relieved that Shinji was so
kind and understanding. "Yeah."

----

Sitting upright, his right hand slowly moved up and down as
he stroked himself.

"Oh...oh...Mmh..." Face flushed, he began losing
himself in the good feelings.

"Uh, Asuka...!"

He wondered how it
would feel to be inside of her, his penis thrusting to the rhythm of her body
as they moved together... "Asuka...Asuka...Asuka!"

Stroking himself faster, his breathing grew heavy and fast.

Precome was already coming out from the tip of his penis...

"Asuka...Uh...Asuka...! More! More, please...! You
always make me feel so good! More, oh, more...!"

He could feel it...he could feel it...
"Ahh...Ha....ha... I'm coming! Asuka! I'm gonna come!"

He clenched his eyes tight, awaiting the orgasm as he
breathed heavily.

"ASU-KAAA!"
With a loud grunt, he came.

Lightheaded from his intense orgasm, he stared at his right
hand.

Shinji began sucking on his fingers�covered in come�as his
passion-glazed eyes met Asuka's.

The redhead shuddered at that, getting turned on.

Asuka smirked at him, giggling. "You sure came fast, baka. Did it excite
you that I'm here?"

He smiled at that, face red. "...Yeah..."

The girl let out a groan as they french-kissed; she could
taste his fluids.

Breaking away, she gently said, blushing, "You look so
cute when you come, Shinji."

He suddenly realized that Asuka's crotch was already wet,
apparently she got aroused just by watching him.

"Shinji, don't look there, I'm embarrassed! Now you know what you do to me...""But you already knew what you do to me. Why feel embarrassed if we love each other?" "...You're right."

-----

Smiling lovingly at her boyfriend, Asuka decided to masturbate, too.

Her hand slowly made it's way towards her vulva, gently brushing over her neatly trimmed red pubic hair. Softly moaning, Asuka began rubbing her womanhood.

Shinji blinked. "Eh? I thought girls usually put their fingers in there...." "Uh, it feels soo good just touching my clitoris....I...ha...don't bother." Letting out a sigh, the girl used her left hand to massage her breasts.

"Ohh...I just need to relax somehow, especially tonight..."

Finding her clitoris, she let out a happy groan, rubbing near it... "Ooh, yes. Ah...Oh...Shin...ji..."

Panting, Asuka began repeating her lover's name as she went
faster. "Shinji...Shinji...Shinji..."

Her fingers rubbing near her clit as her thumb put pressure
just above her pubic hair... "Oh, ShinjI! Shinji...!"

His breathing grew fast at that as he noticed his
erection...

However, he wanted to watch Asuka come at least once before
masturbating again.

The girl was lost in her usual fantasy, wondering how good
it would feel to have Shinji lick her pussy clean.

Imagining his tongue lapping at her come, stroking her by
her clitoris and opening... "Oh, Uh, Shinji...More...More...!"

Now blushing, Asuka's hand began moving as fast as possible... "Ha...ha...ha...I'm coming! Shinji...SHIN-JI!"
Shuddering, the girl came into her hand. "Uh..."

Panting, her eyes met his as she outstretched her arms.

Smiling, he hugged her tight, kissing the top of her head.

Her chest heaving, Asuka winked at him, smiling back."Come on, Shinji... Do it again. Alright?"
"Alright...Asuka."

Feeling nervous, Shinji grabbed his penis once more, falling into a steady rhythm.

He was surprised that he couldn't get excited. �Eh? Why can�t I...�

Asuka sighed in reply. "Just calm down! It's alright. You need to relax, Shinji!"

He looked upset, starting to shake. "You're probably right...but I can't relax. I can't understand why you want somebody like me!"

"Sh...Shinji, why are you getting depressed now?""Because! During that time you said..."

She narrowed her eyes. "Forget about what I said during
that and pay attention to how I'm acting now! Anyway, ever hear of a defense
mechanism, baka? With saying I'd rather die than do it with you, I meant in
terms of Instrumentality. Why the hell would I want to lose being able to think
for myself? Besides that, I was mad because of what we were going
through, you knew all my thoughts and feelings! How else was I supposed to
react?!"

Shinji blinked uneasily at that. "...By being kind to
me..."

She frowned. "...What, when I returned here doesn't
count? You really need more self-confidence! Good thing you have me
around."

Smiling brightly, she kissed his temple. "Cheer up. I
really do like you, ok?"

He nodded, still unable to shake off his depression.
"So...you're not mad at me because I was a better Eva Pilot with my synch
ratio? Or because I couldn't help you that time?" /"The Lance of Longinus?!"/ "No. It wasn't your fault, Shinji."
His eyes widened.

"Rei and the others probably planned things to happen
the way it did. Anyway, my pride always got in the way of seeing that you did
help me when I needed it..."
"But I couldn't help you the two times you needed me the most! How
can that be okay?!"

/"No! Please!
Don't look inside of my mind!"/ /�What are you doing there?! You won�t do anything! You don�t help me! You won�t even hold me!�/

/�Jeez, they�re persistent!
I�m waiting for you, stupid Shinji, and you�re still not here!�/ / /"I'll
kill you...I'll kill you...I'll kill you...!"/

She hugged him, soothingly rubbing his back. "Shhh.
Things happen as they must."

Asuka kissed him as Shinji nearly melted in her arms.
"...Asuka...? What happened to you?"

She actually laughed in reply. "Just relax so we can
have fun. This is meant to feel good, right? Don't worry, I'll make sure you
come." Her hand reaching for his penis, she began stroking him. She moved
up and down his hard length, gradually moving fast...

He shuddered at that. "Ah...Asu...ka..."
"Mmh...Does that feel good, baka?"

"Uuh...So...good..." "Do you wanna come, baka
Shinji?" "Yeah...I want it...
Asuka."

She kissed his chest, gently saying, "Shinji...I want
to be close to you...I want to understand you..."

His breathing went heavy as she stroked him as fast as she
could.

Countless experiences with masturbating had taught him how
to stay quiet so nobody would overhear his cries, but now Shinji didn't bother
holding back the loud groan that escaped his lips. Sweating, he called out her
name. "Asuka...Asuka...uh, Asuka...!" "What?" "Gonna...co...come! Ah!"

His body locking up as his heart pounded, Shinji couldn't
take it anymore. "ASUKAAAAA!"

With that, he came right onto her chest. Some of his semen
landed on her hard nipples as the rest dripped off her breasts.

The girl frowned, though her eyes were light, playful.
"Jeez, what IS it with you and my breasts?"

He breathed out, "...I like your breasts."

Blushing deep red, she couldn't help but smirk in reply.
"Ha...so I noticed."

Smiling seductively, she added, "Did you enjoy
that?" He nodded, getting his breathing under control.

Kissing, they breathed heavily: "Asuka, your body feels
good against mine." The young couple blushed from the warm the other gave
off as they embraced. "Mmh...You�re warm, Shinji..." "Is it
really okay if we continue?" "Yeah. We're not doing anything bad.
It's ok."

----

Asuka panted as Shinji stuck his fingers inside her, helping
the girl get off.

He couldn't believe how wet she already was!

His index and middle finger thrust deep inside, he pumped in
and out of her entrance.

"Does that feel good, Asuka? Am I...doing this
right?"

Her passion-filled eyes met his as she smiled.
"Yes...Oh...Shinji, you're wonderful. Ah, Shinji! Uh...Shinji, I..."
"What?" "I just...want to forget about everything...Ah...I just
want to forget!" As Shinji began
kissing her hard, Asuka groaned. "Mmh...baka...Please...More...Touch me by
my clitoris..."

Nodding, Shinji nervously did as requested. His thumb began
rubbing around the sensitive area, moving his fingers in time to her now heavy
breathing.

Blue eyes clenched tightly, the expression on her face was
one of utter pleasure.

"Oh, Shinji, yes... That, that's it. Right
there..."

Deciding to be bold, he rubbed faster while thrusting his
fingers as deep as he could, his hand other hand pinching her nipples or squeezing her
breasts. Her wetness dripped onto the large blanket below them as Asuka cried
out in reply. "Shinji! Shinji...! Keep doing that...I'm coming!
I'm...gonna come! SHINJI! AHHH!" Asuka came hard into Shinji's hand,
collapsing against his chest. Gasping for breath as she tightly wrapped her
arms around his neck.

Pulling his fingers away from her womanhood, he smiled
slightly at her arousal, sucking on his fingers.

"You taste really good...Asuka..." "Wow, you
are gone on me. I could never imagine you usually doing anything like
tha�Mmph!" As he french-kissed her, she moaned at being able to taste
herself. Shinji hugged her from her waist, Asuka's head nuzzled against his
shoulder.

"Hey...Is it okay if we just cuddle for awhile? I feel
too relaxed to move right now."

Shinji smiled warmly at that. "Sure. It's not like we
have to do anything, right?" Asuka smiled gently in reply.

Maybe they could get used to being alone together, after
all.

-----

Dressed once more, Shinji and Asuka snuggled together,
looking out towards the red ocean in blissful silence. Asuka had re-bandaged her arm and eye.

"Asuka."

She lazily, sleepily, replied. "Hmm? What?"

"Did you hear a song? During...Third Impact." She
blinked, puzzled. "A song?"

Trying to remember, she was surprised that her memories of
it all were somewhat fuzzy.

/"I don't wanna
be alone!"/ /" Destruction, death, the return to nothingness... It's
what you wished for."/ /"It all returns to nothing...It all comes
tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down..."/

Because it was so mentally traumatic? Her eyes widened.
Shinji seemed to be acting somewhat, well, different since she retuned.

Maybe she was back to keep an eye on him?

"...Yeah. I remember that. Third Impact�and that
song�started after you strangled me. The lyrics were really...sad. Something
about suicide and the world ending." "Really, you remember
that?" "Yeah."

He visibly relaxed despite the downbeat topic being
discussed.

"Good, so I wasn't just imaging things when I heard
that."

She glanced at him, looking concerned.

"...Shinji, can I ask you something?" "Sure.
What is it?"

"Do you...need anything?" "Eh? What do you
mean?" Sighing, she restated her question.

"Are you okay? Since I returned, you've been acting
different. You seem really...serious, but, it seems like your still
depressed." "Define okay. I've been getting enough food and enough
sleep, I only started losing it because of realizing how alone I was...And it
was only 2 months, but...You have a lot of time to just think about things.
I...was able to realize that what I felt towards the end of all that was correct:
I am okay as I am, because I'm myself. It's okay for me to go on living so I
can learn to love myself. Though in terms of believing anyone else wanted to live on..."

He laughed bitterly, adding, "I'm just glad I didn't go crazy and start talking to Lillith over there, thinking it was Ayanami!"

"Why did you give up hope so soon? Especially if you were alone for awhile, you should have found a place to stay at! It doesn't matter if you gave up hope or not in terms of the others, you still need to take care of yourself!"

"......." He silently nodded in agreement, not making eye contact.

A sigh, "So, what do we do now? Besides living together, I mean."

"I don't know." "...You don't believe we'll be okay?"

Shaking, he replied: "I want to believe, but..."

Holding back a sob, the boy buried his face into her shoulder. "Help me, Asuka...Please! Help me..."

She gently embraced him, wrapping her arms around his back and chest, his cheek leaning against her chest. Hoping he'd stop shaking. What should I do? He's been crying all
night!
She somewhat angrily replied, "Remember your mother's
words! I'm certain we'll be alright!"

/�If you decide to live, anywhere can be heaven...because you're alive. There will be chances to be happy everywhere.�/

He looked down at his now clenched hands. "You're right. I've forgotten, haven't I? Misato-san's words...Mother's words...Ayanami and Kaworu-kun's words...I didn't believe enough, and gave up hope too soon."

"I'm sure other people will return. It's impossible for us to be the only two that have the will to live, you know!" "....You think so?" "Yeah, I know so. Don't worry, we just have to hang in there for a little while longer, and everything will be okay again." Asuka thought for a moment before continuing.

"Shinji, I know it's been hard for you, but please! I'm with you now. There's no reason for you to hate yourself anymore! Or are you saying Pre-Instrumentality did nothing to positively affect you?"

His eyes growing wide, Shinji remembered all too well. If...if he really had decided to love himself, to take care of himself, then how could he give up, even in the slightest? Why did he go on falsely thinking life had nothing but pain�that there could be no pleasure, too�until Asuka returned?

His eyes grew wet at that. Shinji smiled weakly despite desperately wanting to cry. To think he had nearly given up on himself after all...!

"Thank you. And, I'm sorry...But, I just..."

Suddenly stricken with fear, Shinji panicked, adding,"I don't want you to ever leave me!"

Holding onto her tight, burying his face into her chest, tears threatened to spill from his eyes. "I, I don't want you to go away, Asuka!"

Asuka blushed in reply as she stroked his cheek. "Baka Shinji. I'll never leave you as long as you never leave me. I'm not going anywhere."

Shinji sniffled as he replied. "I promise that from now on, I'll work on becoming more happy...Together with you, Asuka."

She couldn�t help but smile kindly from relief. "I�m glad your okay. Don't scare me like that again!"

She softly kissed his warm forehead at that.

Smiling lovingly at him, they made a pinky-swear. "From now on, let's find happiness together, Shinji."

Blinking at that, he suddenly grew quiet, his face red. "And, know that I'm here if you need to talk or anything like that. Okay, Shinji?"

Swallowing, he slowly nodded. "Okay."
His gaze panned up from her chest to her face. "...Asuka." "Hmm?"

As her soft eyes met his, he suddenly, desperately, kissed her.

----

Pushing her onto the ground, he began kissing her again, his
tongue probing her mouth. Face flushed, Asuka didn't understand what got into
him.

"Ah...Shi�Shinji, wait...Wait a moment..."

Kissing and sucking her neck, Shinji began pulling down her
plugsuit as Asuka shivered in reply. "Asuka...I just want you, that's all
I want or need." Stripping it down to her belly-button, the boy stared at
her chest.

Breathing heavily, he licked his lips, his body already
responding.

"...Asu...ka..."
I can't take it anymore! I want
her so bad...

As his erection pressed against her, Shinji began sucking on
her left nipple. Asuka's eyes widened, her whole face red from excitement and
embarrassment. "Baka Shinji! Stop that! It's..." Letting in a sharp
intake of breath, Asuka trailed off as Shinji began pinching her other nipple,
still licking and sucking her left breast.

He broke away for a moment, "Uh...I wanted to do this
to you for so long...ever since I met you..."

Groaning, her hands fell onto his shoulders, only to start
caressing his soft black hair. His warm mouth felt so good!
"Ooh...Shin...ji... Mmh..."

She was getting wet in between her legs, that area throbbing
from the good feelings he gave her.

In a breathy voice, Asuka managed to say, "Now my other
one...Please...!"

As Shinji repeated the process for her right breast, his
hand reached out for her left one, massaging her already hard nipple.
"Shinji, ahh...So, so good...Mmh..." "...Asuka..." Shinji
continued to bite and suck on her nipples as his right hand rubbed her vulva.
He was soon rewarded with Asuka panting, crying out in pleasure as she came.
"Shinji...Shinji...Shinji...SHINJI!"

----

The couple gazed at each other passionately. Kissing hard,
their tongues tangled, exploring the other's mouth.

Breaking away, a trail of saliva linked their lips as both
were breathing heavily.

"Shinji...that was great, but...No more. I'm not ready
to go on... "

Smiling sweetly, the boy nodded in reply. " We'll wait,
together."

She hugged him tight, feeling happy. "Baka Shinji.�

He looked back at her seriously, his cheeks red.
"Asuka, I really wanted you just now...You make me feel so good."
�Yeah, I know. It�s the same with me.� Falling silent, they cuddled together.

----

"You
know...Living forever with you does sound nice." He blinked, surprised at
her words. "Eh? Really?" Stroking his hair, she nodded. "Really.
A cute little house where we can watch the sunrise and the sunset...Living out
in the country but still close to the city...You doing all the cooking and
cleaning like the good little wife you are...Being able to do whatever we want
whenever we want..."

He blushed, catching her meaning. "Oh no, I didn't mean
living together just to�"

She momentarily stopped stroking his hair to glare at him.

"Shinji, shut up! Do you want to hear my version of
your greatest fantasy or not?"

"Oh, sorry. Asuka? Um, what about..."
"Hmm?" His cheeks turned red at his current thought.
"Not...anytime soon, of course, but what about one day having a child or
two?"

She sniffled at that. "Sorry to break it to you, but I
don't want kids. Maybe when I'm an adult, I'll change my mind, but... Being
only on the road to adulthood, I'd say no."

He frowned, curious. "Why not?" "Huh? Well,
just think about it. Do you really think I'd want kids after my own childhood?
After being told by my insane mother that I'm better off dead?"

Eyes downcast, the boy felt extremely guilty for even
asking. "...I'm...sorry. It's just
not fair for you. We both lost our mothers when young, and though I know mine
loves me, you had to deal with that..."

She sighed loudly at that. "It's alright, Shinji. Mama
does love me, or, rather since Unit 02 is no more, did, but it wasn't in the
way I wanted. During that last battle, she wanted to protect me which is why
she took over Eva, but... Whether or not she wanted me to die with her after all, or still live on is irrelevant. I'm alive now, and that's what matters."

Putting her arm back around him, she frowned. "Damn, now I forgot what I wanted to say." He looked guilty. "Sorry, Asuka." She scrunched her nose in disgust. "Jeez! Stop apologizing; it's annoying!" "Eh? I thought you actually liked the fact I'm on the effeminate side." "I do, but not when you act like a pathetic wimp!" He looked hurt at that. "....I don't like when you act bossy, but I never say anything badly about you." A sigh. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, ok?"

Looking at her curiously, Shinji replied. "We really different, yet similar, aren't we, Asuka? It's like we're two sides of the same coin..." She smiled slightly. "Yeah. We balance each other out nicely."

-----

Shinji's eyes began to droop closed. He felt so relaxed with the love of his life in his arms, he could just fall asleep right there...
"Shinji!" Or maybe not.

The girl turned to him and Shinji was surprised to see she was blushing.
Concerned, he asked, "What is it? Is something wrong?" "N�no, it's just..."
Biting her lip, she stared at the sand, uncharacteristically hesitant.
"Um, could we go just once together? Then we can sleep?"
He smiled at that. "Okay. I wanted us to do that myself, I just didn't know what to say..."

As Asuka motioned for Shinji to lay down, the German redhead sat on top of him. "So...What should we do? Hey, do you want to pretend we're doing it?" Sweetly kissing her hand that started to stroke his cheek, he nodded, his eyes light.

"Sure....that sounds nice...I, I always wondered what it would be like to do it with you, Asuka." They quickly undressed while still sitting together.

She grabbed onto his penis. His index and middle fingers thrust inside her as his thumb touched her near her clitoris...

"Ahh...Shinji, you feel so good..." "Asuka...You do, too. You're so warm..."

As Asuka stroked Shinji's hard length up and down, a blush made it's way across her face, she was clearly lost in pleasure. "Mmmh...Shinji...Your penis feels so nice! Ah, I can't wait for the day when you're really inside me!"

He kissed her neck and her face as they moved together, their hands in synch...

"Oh. Oh, yes...Uh... Asuka...Ha..." "Shinji! Fu...fuck me harder, please! Ah....haa...Please please please don't stop, Shinji! So so good!"

Blushing himself, Shinji pumped his fingers deep inside of tight vagina, moving faster... "You sound so cute...Oh...I'm not stopping, Asuka...Uh...I want to come together with you..."

As the couple pleasured each other, one thing that they failed to notice earlier was the scent of their arousal.

It was so intoxicating, making them light-headed as they could only focus on one thing.

Getting pleasure from making their lover feel good...Getting there together, getting there together, their bodies pumping wildly, coming...

"Make me come, please! Shin...ji! Oh, Shinji! Ah, Shinji!! You feel so so good!"

"You feel good too, Asuka. Oh, my Asuka, your vagina is so warm and tight, I just want to do this forever..."

Moving faster�her hand madly stroking up and down his shaft, his sac hitting against her stomach while his hand pumped in and out of her vagina�they could feel each other on the verge...

"Ah! I'm...coming!
Asuka, Asuka, ASU-KA!"
"Shinji! Ye�yes! Me too...AH! I'm coming too! SHINJI!"
They came together, nearly breathless.
"Shinji...so good." "Asuka... Coming with you was great..."
They removed their hands, licking each other, surprised at how good the other tasted.

They frenchkissed�hard�tasting themselves and each other.
Finished kissing, they broke away, only to embrace as they smiled warmly at each other.
"That was so wonderful, Shinji..." "Yeah, it was. I'm so happy we're finally together, Asuka."
He let out a sigh as
he stretched, tired but content. "Well, I guess we should go to sleep now." "Yeah...I wonder what time it is, anyway?" Shinji sighed loudly. "I don't know...But Third Impact is one screwed up way to start off the New Year." "Really." Making themselves comfortable on the blanket, they hugged, using the
other blanket to cover themselves up. As they lay down on their pillow, the lovers kissed softly. "...Goodnight, Shinji." "Night, Asuka..."

----

Are you afraid?

His unclenched hand quivered slightly. "What?"

Are you afraid?

"No..." He began sweating.

Are you afraid?

"No...No...NO! I left this insanity once I rejected that...I don't want to go through this anymore, so stop! Stop it already!"

A bright flash of white light suddenly burst forth into the otherwise dark, empty, void.

Red eyes gently stared into the boy's blue eyes.

Red eyes that currently obtained the wisdom of many, many, years...
Her true self only recently recalled...

Ayanami Rei...Lillith...

/"Where's my dream?" "The continuation of reality." "Then, where's my reality?" "It's where your dream ends."/

"Aya...nami?"

A gentle smile. "Why put yourself through suffering when you know you did the right thing? Ikari-kun, you have the right to become happy."

"I..." He was about to clench his hand, but he caught himself and stopped. He looked up into her eyes. "Do I really?"

Nodding, she gently took hold of his right hand, still smiling sweetly.

"Everybody does. So why wouldn't you?"
"....Rei. No, Lillith." "Yes?" "Again, thank you for helping me. Will I ever see you again?" "I don't know...But it's possible. Ikari-kun, rest easy and enjoy your life from now on." "Eh? But, how do I..."

He suddenly awoke, feeling disturbed as he let out a whimper. ...Truly become happy?

----

Asuka, who was half-asleep, woke up at his cry.
"Shinji? What's wrong? Did you have a bad dream?"

He shook his head, voice cracked as he buried his face into her shoulder. "It's not that! It's just, you were right...I am lonely..." "Eh? When did I say that?"
Unbeknownst to Asuka, Shinji had quite literally saw her and the others in his mind before Pre-Instrumentality began.

When Misato literally dragged him to Unit 1's cage, Shinji begged for Asuka to help him, then said to Misato how he didn't want to do anything but die. Misato replied that he shouldn't waste his life by dying. Mentally, Asuka had appeared to the boy, telling him he was looking for false happiness and that he was lonely. Shinji agreed, saying that she was probably
right.
Presently, Asuka frowned, figuring Shinji hallucinated during all that. If he was already extremely stressed out before Third Impact began, how was he able to deal with the actual thing? He is unstable... Sighing, her arms tightened around him. Remembering that he wasn't alone anymore, he cried, suddenly upset. "Asuka...! I just can't believe you're with me! Asuka..." "Come on, it's okay now! Everything's alright, stupid Shinji!"

The boy couldn't help but cry harder at that. /"Call me stupid like you always do!"/

"Jeez! It's okay to cry to relieve stress, but sitting around whining like this just depresses you more! I know you went through a tough time, but seriously! Enough already, ok?"

Sniffling, he buried his face into her chest, still crying. "But, but, but, Asuka...!"

Sighing loudly in defeat, her eye twitched as she embraced him, soothingly rubbing his back. One good thing about Pre-Instrumentality was that she had gained some newfound patience in knowing how to deal with him. Although that's not to say she didn't get frustrated at his easily depressive nature...

"Jeez, you really are stupid! What am I going to do with you?"
She smiled a little to herself. At least he's all mine now. But, I'm not going to spend the rest of God knows how long with him reduced to a blubbering idiot. He should be stronger than that. I know it's possible... "...Shinji."

Hesitantly looking up at her. "Yeah?" Her lips softly pressed against hers, she had pulled him into a sweet kiss, he whimpered a little in reply, feeling warm.

Asuka smiled at him after they broke away. "Just face it, Shinji: without me, you're hopeless!"

He smiled in reply, his tears having dried. "...Yeah."

Letting out a sigh, rolling over to his side, he tried to fall back to sleep.

Asuka looked upset at that, somewhat afraid she failed him. "Shinji? Is there anything else I can do to help you?" "Just hold me. Please." His outstretched arms wrapped around her back as she gently kissed his cheek, Asuka's hands on the back of his neck. "Is this
okay?" "Yes, it's wonderful. Asuka..."

"You know, I had a strange dream just now." "Really? What about?" "Adam, and Lillith�First�were there. They told me that we shouldn't worry and just be happy

together. I understand why Rei was there, but why was that gay friend of yours there?"
"Huh? Kaworu-kun is a girl. She has Adam's soul and all. Anyway, even if Kaworu was a guy, what would that matter? Yes I love her, but only as a friend."

Asuka grew suspicious at that. "Uh-huh. Just to clarify, some of my close friends at college were gay. I heard rumors that Ibuki-san was, too. What bothers me is the thought of anybody stealing you away from me!"

"But that won't ever happen." Sleepily hugged her, adding, "I really love you, Asuka. All I want is to be with you forever." She kissed his forehead in reply, blushing at his sweet words. "Let's go back to sleep, okay, Shinji? I don't want you working yourself up over nothing." "Okay..." They kissed. Rubbing his back, the girl began gently humming a peaceful song, trying to lull him to sleep. Head against her
shoulder, Shinji felt his heavy eyes tiredly close.

----

Waking up the next morning, the bright sun shined down on them. Shinji winced, his arm covering his face. Groaning, he gently opened his eyes. Looking down, he was a bit surprised to see Asuka sleeping against his chest. Realizing she cuddled to comfort him as well as warm herself up, he smiled a little. "Asuka." The girl replied in her sleep, "...Shinji...Mmh..."
He blushed slightly, not expecting her to be dreaming about
him.

Despite the pair being covered in blankets, she was shivering.
Suddenly waking up, she sneezed, glaring at him. "If I get sick because of you, I'll kill you." "Eh? Asuka, you wanted this, too! And no good morning?" The girl rolled her eyes, annoyed he made a
good point. "Yeah, yeah..."
Silence, she suddenly kissed his cheek. "Morning, Shinji. Did you sleep well after waking up last night?" "I think so, yeah."

Hugging her nude body against his, he asked, "Is that better? Are you warm now?" She smiled a little, blushing. "Yeah... I feel really warm."

Asuka stared out to the red-colored sea, frowning slightly. "I just had a thought. Do you think we'll ever see Rei again?" "Hmm, I don't know. But I really miss Ayanami. She was a great friend." Asuka glared. "Don't you mean girlfriend?" "What are you talking about, Asuka?!" "I saw you two at the train station that one time!" "So we waited for the train together, so what? Anyway, Rei's like my sister, she has Mother's DNA!"
"Now you're calling Miss Perfect by her first name?!You jerk!" "Asuka, calm down! There's no need for you to get so angry! Just because Rei has Lilith's soul doesn't mean you should treat her badly. SEELE was the true enemy, not Adam, Lillith, or Adam's children."
"Aren't you Mister Information?" "Misato-san told me all that." "Hmm."

Finally cooling off, Asuka cuddled against him.
"Shinji, you really do want to always be with me?" "Of course I do! Asuka, I..."

Giggling, she silenced him by kissing his nose. "I'm glad." He smiled at her as they blushed.

----

After softly kissing for several moments, they broke away.
"Ich liebe dich, Shinji." "Aishiteru, Asuka."
Kissing again, their stared deeply and lovingly into the other's eyes, knowing just what they wanted to do.
"Shinji..." "Asuka..."

They french-kissed over and over again, their hands moving fast.

Asuka showed no mercy in stroking his penis, trying to get him off as quickly as possible...
His hard length pressed against her hand as his precome dripped out...
"Do you feel good, Shinji?" "Uh, yes, Asuka, feels great. Are...are you...coming?" His index and middle fingers pumped in and out of her tight vagina...
"Yeah, I...I'm gonna come soon...Oh, Shinji, my love, you're making me feel good, too, honey..."
He kissed her for using a term of endearment.
"I�m coming...! Shinji...Shinji...SHINJI!" "Uh, I�m coming, too! Aahhh, ASUKA!"
Coming while they embraced, both breathed heavily.

She kissed him reassuringly, eyes full of love and hope.
"Everything's alright now... Don't worry."
He blushed, feeling happy as he hugged her tight."Yeah. Because we�re together."

----

Asuka let out a loud, vocalized sigh. "Thank goodness we were able to find an empty house nearby some grocery store! Though I'm already beat just walking from the beach!"
Shinji couldn't help but nod in agreement as he put the backpack on the floor.

"Yeah, it was exhausting... Ugh, I feel really sore for some reason. I guess I should go take a bath." "I feel sore, too. Hey, Shinji..." "Hmm?"
Asuka�s face was red as she stared at the floor. "Could I...join you?"
They both turned red from her words. "Eh?!" Asuka quickly added, "I don't mean anything H, okay? I just want to bathe with
you."
He smiled a little at that. "It sounds nice, let's do that." A pause. "You know...I'm reminded of something Misato-san said the first night I moved in with her: "Bathing is the laundry of life." Do you think that's true?"

"Well, I'm sure it can help sooth your soul...I'll wash away any pain you're in..." She hugged him as he kissed her cheek. "I'll wash your pain away, too, Asuka..."

----

Naked, the couple continued to kiss while sitting down in the bath.
Asuka in front with Shinji sitting behind her, the warm water refreshed them both. "Aah...that feels nice..."
Smiling and nodding in agreement, Asuka leaned her head against the crook of his neck. "Oh...Uh, I really needed this. Things have been stressful for both of us, right?"

"Asuka. Is it okay if I wash you?" "It's okay; you don't have to ask me."

"Well, yeah, but...If I don't ask, how do I know what you want and don't want?" She was about to reply, when Shinji, soap in his hands, suddenly began massaging her breasts. His warm hands gently massaged each breast as his thumb and index finger began playing with her nipples.

Letting out a gasp, Asuka blushed as she felt her nipples instantly harden.

"Oh, Shinji...Ah..."
That simple touch was enough to arouse her. "Lower, lower! Please please please..."
He was confused by her reaction. "But I thought you said you didn't want to do anything H."
Gasping out as she breathed heavily, "Then what the hell are you doing right now? Please...! Shinji, just touch me there...I, I want to come..."
He nodded, reply somewhat unsure. "Okay."
The boy wasted no time in sticking his index and middle fingers deep inside of her womanhood.
Blushing, Asuka groaned, already dripping wet.

The warmth of the bathwater had only heightened her arousal.
�Oh, Shinji...Ahh...Mmmh...Ye�yes... Shinji, please, give me more.�
The love of his life in his arms, begging him to pleasure her... He couldn�t help but get turned on from the sight!
As his erection pressed against her back, Shinji found himself sweetly asking, �Asuka, do you like that? Am I making you feel good?� �Yeah, uh... Make me come with your hand...!� He kissed her temple at that. �Alright.� His fingers pumped in and out of her, moving in time to her heavy
breathing.
�Shinji...faster...please...� Following through with her request, he thrust his fingers hard and fast. Moving out of her slick wetness before thrusting himself back in, he imitated what it would be like if he penetrated her. �Ah, Asuka...�

His free hand made it�s way towards her chest, his thumb and index finger pinching her nipple. �Ah! Ohh...Feels good...� He began squeezing and rubbing her breasts and nipples, occasionally alternating which one he worked with...

Her arms wrapped around his neck, Asuka blushed deeply as she muttered in his ear, �Shinji...I, I�m gonna come...�
Smiling lovingly, he gently, yet passionately, french-kissed her.

Asuka groaned in reply, breathing heavily.
Shinji�s warm hands groping her breasts as he fingered her...
His tongue tangling with hers as they kissed over and over again...
It was all just too much.

Not being able to take it anymore, Asuka moaned loudly into his mouth as come spilled out of her entrance, covering Shinji�s fingers...

A trail of saliva linked their mouths as they broke away, hugging, while Asuka�s breathing returned to normal.
She giggled out, �It�s nice to know you can be quite romantic when you think about it, baka.�
Glad that he could do something nice for the girl he loved, Shinji�s heart swelled with happiness as he embraced her tightly.

"I just want to stay like this...You're so warm, Asuka.." A relaxed smile was on Asuka�s face as she leaned her headagainst his shoulder. His arms had wrapped around her front, resting just below her breasts. "Mmh. You are too, Shinji. I'm fine with just hugging you. It's nice..." They couple blushed from the warm of the water, as well as the warmth they gave each other. "Shinji..." "Yeah, Asuka?"
"I...I'm really happy being with you." Smile. "I feel the same way. I'm so happy that I can finally hold you like this, Asuka..."
A slight pause. "....Shinji?"
Still smiling, feeling relaxed, he replied: "Hmm? What is it?" "Shinji, kiss me."
"Alright." "And, hold me, too!" "Of course."
His lips softly, tenderly, met hers in a sweet, pure, kiss; his hands resting on her upper back, their bodies pressed together.
He gently broke away, eyes light. "You didn't have to ask me to kiss you..."
She giggled in reply, "But how do you know what I want otherwise?"

The couple felt so much love for each other... Even though neither had really fallen in love before, Shinji and Asuka knew that they wanted to love each other unconditionally, and forever.
"Always stay by me. Asuka." "I will, as long as you'll do the same for me. We'll help and support each other. In other words, we can't use the other as a means of running away. Right?"
He nodded in reply. "Right. But..."

Suddenly self-conscious, he asked, "By doing this, isn't it like a form of running away?"
"Anta baka? We're comforting each other, there's a huge difference! Anyway, what are you saying? You don't like playing with each other?"
"Huh? No! I like it, I like it! I feel really close to you like this..." He blushed at that, looking away.
Gently touching his hand, Asuka kissed his cheek. "I feel close to you, too, Shinji."
Still blushing, he turned his head to softly kiss her lips as she giggled.
A peaceful silence fell between the couple; neither remembering the last time they felt so happy and complete.

----

Dressed after the bath, the young couple walked towards their bed, holding hands. Shinji had helped the girl rebandage her arm and eye.
Kissing softly as they lay down, Asuka snuggled against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.
Her soft blue eyes met his as she tenderly caressed his left cheek, her other hand leaning against his shoulder. "Keep me warm, okay?"
Before he could respond, the girl had already fallen asleep.
Smiling gently as he sweetly kissed her temple, he quietly replied, "I will, Asuka. Sweet dreams."
His arms wrapped around her body in a tender embrace.
Shinji stared up at the ceiling, suddenly lost in thought."A ceiling I don't know..."
He sadly added, "That soon won't be the case." Asuka and I will probably be here for awhile.
He sighed, shaking his head slightly.
"I can't get depressed; I have to stay positive. Asuka's hanging in there and doing her best. I should, too."
He smiled at those words, resolved.
"We'll be alright. Even if there's nothing else left, at least we have each other."
Kissing Asuka's lips, Shinji soon fell into a peaceful, dreamless, sleep, thankful for this moment.

The End

Omake (Extra) <3

In an excited voice, Asuka said, "Shinji! Do you know what today is?" "Huh? Um, no..." "Anta baka? It's Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day!" "Oh."
Blushing, Asuka revealed the envelope she had held behind her back. "Shinji, this is for you. Please accept my deepest feelings!"

He blushed in reply, feeling happy. "Eh? A love letter?"

Remembering something, Shinji added, "Asuka, this is for you, too." "Aw, Shinji! You shouldn't have!"

Smiling, the couple quickly opened their letters, Asuka suddenly trying to hold back laughter for some reason.
The contents open, they promptly twitched. "It's all in
German?!" "It's nearly all in Kanji! Baka Shinji! How dare you try pulling the same type of joke I pulled on you!" "But...I didn't...I, I didn't mean to...Asuka, I forgot that you can't read Kanji yet!" "Hmph!" A moment of silence passed.
Asuka glanced at him over her shoulder.
"...I'll learn Kanji if you learn German?" "Deal."

----

AN: First off, yes, it is true about the age of consent only being 13 in Japan,
though this may vary depending on the local city laws. Anyway, this is different from my other post-3I fic [series], not just because I included H content, but also because I included a passage of time between Shinji returning to reality and when Asuka joining him.
In End Of Evangelion, the final scene clearly indicates Shinji has been alone for awhile (the grave markers that were originally meant for a scene in Last A and Last B, the nail's rust that has Misato's cross,
Shinji's bewildered (putting it too lightly?) reaction to seeing Rei then Asuka, etc), though it's up to the viewer to draw their own conclusions on just how long. It should be noted, however, that Shinji was alone for 2 months at the most due to the fact he would have had a growth spurt at some point, the scenery would have looked different, etc.And, yes, I'm a believer in Reichu's (of NGE Geeks Commentary Page fame) female-Kaworu theory.
By the way, the extra makes a reference to one of the Sonogo no Evangelion stories: Asuka gives Shinji a love letter, but it's all in German. (Sonogo no Evangelion a very cute (eg: No hentai) doujinshi series that
I highly recommend, although it's in raw Japanese.)I hope you enjoyed this! Please let me know what you thought! ^_^

Take care, Sailor Star Dust
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Anxiety-Ridden Honeymoon ~Mellow Version~