Sweet Poison

BY : NearLover
Category: Death Note > General
Dragon prints: 1336
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Sweet Poison

I curse you, sweet poison.

Your very breath is a pain in my heart.

The existence of your soul is only to stab mine.

Every instance we have spent together has been nothing but hell, but still I return for more. Still you wrap me round your precious fingers, my addiction begging but my heart screaming.

Poison, sweet poison. You speak words of venom, but your voice does not waver from its cold tone.

Your words say you love me, but your voice tells me nothing.

I can see it in your eyes.

Is this what we call love, Poison? Is this what the burning in my heart is?

We can never be, yet I plead for it.

I plead for you, as you plead for me.

I love you, as you love me. With empty words. With poison kisses.

My veins are filled with you. With your sweet innocence. With your passion.

You reach every inch of me, every inch untouched by any other.

Your eyes meet mine. Those eyes, who feel for no one else but me. Those dark eyes, which only show emotion for me. Just as mine are only cold for you.

Black and white, we are. We’ve always been. Since the day we met. Since the day we were born. Perhaps even before.

Fate led is to one another, only to laugh at us. Only to say, ‘You cannot be. You are black and white. You shall never mix, never truly.’

Sweet poison, what have I done?

I had the chance. All those years ago. All those months, days hours… I could have become one with you. But my pride stopped me. My pride, and my idiocy.

How was I to know that four years without an addiction could nearly be fatal?

How was I know that without sweet poison, I would grow to need it more and more?

It had become nearly fatal when I finally saw you again.

My sweet, white angel. Everything about you as innocent and perfect as the first day I saw you, as the day I left you. You never changed, and I loved that about you.

“You found time away from chasing Kira for little old me?” I joked openly as you stepped out of the doorway. Midnight. Just like back home. Back when you were mine and we didn’t care.

“I will always find time for you,” You answer. Your sweet, poison-dripping voice is so lively, so full of emotion. The way it only is for me.

“Always?” I repeat with a small laugh.

“Four years changes nothing.” Your voice is so addicting. Everything about you is so addicting. Although it may be my addictive personality.

You approach first, walking across the entrance way of the building with no fear. Screw the cameras. Screw your men, the ones of them that are alive. Screw Kira, screw L, screw everyone.

“Are you sure?” I question, watching you approach without a care. The cameras will not see my face, you will make sure of that in the morning.

“Even after four years…” You’re standing before me now, your light skin flush. Your eyes stare into me, pulling the addict in me back in to your poison. “You’re the only one who can make me feel.”

Everything about you is so proper. Even the way to lean up and wrap your arms around my neck. The way your short body presses against mine, still perfect and tiny, the way I remember it. The way I love it.

“I make you feel…?” I give one last attempt at playfulness, only to be cut off by you.

“Shut up.”

So forward, so honest. Your lips touch mine and I taste your poison once more. The taste I’ve wanted more of since my first taste, so many years ago.

I remember the day I first broke you. The day I first tasted you. The day I first became addicted to that sweet poison of yours.

That was the day I learned that you were human.

You surprised me that day. Shocked me in a way no other could possibly do.

Despite my passionate hate for you, I fell in love.

I never knew such a person could hold such emotion in them. I, like the rest of the children, had always assumed you held no such thing inside of you.

When you grabbed me and kissed me after a heated argument (on my side) in our bedroom, you poisoned me. You sucked me in, held your breath, and slowly breathed me out. And for those split seconds I was inside of you, I was poisoned.

Why me? I asked this question to myself constantly. Why did I spark your intrest? Why get me addicted?

“Because,” you breath suddenly through poisonous kisses, as if you are reading my mind. “You are the only one who can make me feel.”

Just as you, sweet angel, are the only one who can calm my emotions to none.

It’s a sort of balance. A sweet scale of black and white, needing one another. Clinging to each other. Yin and Yang. Innocent and corrupt.

I was your corruption, and you were my innocence.

We care little for the cameras as I slide my fingers under your shirt, desperate to touch you once more. After four years I still can’t seem to get enough of you. And while my lips taste poison my skin begs for yours.

Four years, but I can’t seem to get rid of my addiction to you.

Why is it you, of all people… the person I hate the most, whom my heart begs for?

One free hand buries deep into your soft, untouched hair. My lips slip from yours and find your sweet throat, leaving marks you no doubt will need to cover in the morning. Your voice is so soft in my ear, so gentle as you beg me for more.

“Say my name,” I plead, leaning you almost gently against the car I had borrowed to come here. I plead Matt will never find out about this.

“Poison,” you reply almost playfully and I feel myself smile against your skin.

“Why me?” I question as your fingers grip the back of my shirt tightly, my hands moving under the back of yours.

“You’re my addiction,” you moan, throwing your head back almost dramatically as I caress your throat with my lips once more.

“Do I make you feel?” I’m teasing now and you know it, but you play along. We haven’t touched in four years… as if you’re going to pass up this chance up.

Genius that you are.

“More then anyone else ever could,” you whisper. Sweet sounds then drown out your words as I nibble on your ear, my hands moving lower but never touching. Sweet, sweet torture.

You’re not impatient. You know I want this as much as you do. You know I’m addicted to you, just as you are to me. Every moment I torture you, I torture myself as well. And I enjoy it.

Just as you do.

I’ve never needed you more than I do tonight. The emotions you make me feel… the need you put in me… The only thing that can compare to the now is the day of L’s death. The day I left you, broken and in tears for the first and only time in your life.

The day you swore in front of the entire orphanage that you loved me, and couldn’t let me go.

I would have laughed at their shocked faces if I hadn’t been so cold.

Our rolls had been reversed, you sobbing and broken on the floor as I coldly turned my back on you and walked away.

I hope I never have to do that to you again.

Despite the rising need between the two of us, I manage to take it relatively slow. I savor every moment as if it is our last, every touch as if I need them more than life. Every gasp you breath into my ear keeps my addiction fed, every caress of your skin feeds your poison into me little by little.

Despite my best efforts, it ends to fast. It always does. Despite what I want, my body refuses and gives in.

I’m buttoning up your shirt when you address me, your eyes still blazing with an emotion only I have ever seen.

“Stay,” you beg, your sweet breath a whisper. I glance up at you, seeing your eyes watch me, emotion raw in them the way they never were before me. “Help me defeat Kira.” Your voice isn’t quite a beg, but I can feel the pain coming from your words. “I can’t do it without you, Mello. You know that.”

I give you a smile – but it is not a smile of defeat. I finish buttoning your shirt and releasing my hands from you painfully. “Near,” I say, letting one last brush of the sweaty bangs from your face feed my addiction before I completely remove myself from you. “I have to catch him my own way, you know that.”

You sense me distancing myself from you and you remove yourself from the hood of Matt’s car in defeat. Your eyes turn to me, fiery with the emotion you show only to me. Spilling poison.

“Don’t die,” you nearly plead, your voice barely a whisper. So you sensed it to? The end closing in.

“Near.” I breath your name, leaning in for one last kiss. You surprise me, however, placing your finger against my lips and stopping me.

“I love you,” you inform. From your voice, I know you mean it. I had never heard such more truthful, poison-filled words.

“I hate you,” I remind, watching your eyes. You believe my words about as much as I do.

Your finger is removed from my lips and replaced with your own. Then you turn, heading back toward the doors of your secret building. To the case. To being L.

“Near.”

You stop, turning to me. I can see it in your eyes – you plead for the words. The words you have wanted to hear for four years. The words that, if spoken, will admit that I am just as addicted to your poison as you are to mine.

“I love you.”

And you smile. That sweet, wonderful, innocent angel of a smile. The smile only given to me. The smile that will only ever be given to me, your poison.

And then you leave.

--

The pains of my last breaths echo in my chest. Of all things, defeated by Kira. Defeated the same was as L. No better than he.

My body falls to the floor, and I feel it. Near’s pain. His love and his anguish. He knows the moment my heart stops beating, before anyone else does.

I watch from a distance as he suddenly lets out a heart-filled sob, grabbing at his chest. The members of the SPK stare at him in utter shock and on the other end of the phone line Yagami Raito is speechless.

Near is left, broken and crying. The same as I left him that day, four years ago. Emotional. Empty. Craving his sweet poison, the way I crave mine.


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