Against All Odds

Disclaimer: I don’t own the GetBackers, (manga or anime) I just like to imagine them in my own little world (which is totally of my imagining). No profits are made from this story, just gratuitous pleasure.

Summary: Ban reflects on the changes in his life, loss and the darkness that threatens to engulf him, as he starts to take the final step to down. (Pt 6 of The Tangled Web)

Rating: NC-17

Warning Codes: Angst, m/m, WIP

Pairings: SxB

Author’s note: This is part 6 of the Tangled Web series.

Although each story can stand alone, they will make more sense if they are read as a series.

Feedback is appreciated. Your feedback is your gift to me. My gift to you is the story.

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My thanks to HumanInfiltrator, Llonella and XxXheartofyaoiXxX for the reviews. I hope you like this next installment.
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Against All Odds

The shock of his loss had been too much. Ban had truly wanted to die at the very moment that Shido had arrived to pull him back from the brink of oblivion. Ban had been on the edge, his foot poised to take that first fatal step to down. The blackness that had descended over him when the dust had cleared and Shido had been gone was almost complete. Day by day it had been getting darker, day by day it had been getting harder to go on, day by day a little more of him died until he only wanted to end it all, if only to escape the total darkness that now shrouded his soul.

That Shido, a person that he had detested from the very first time he met him, could have come to be such an important part of his life. Ban could recall that meeting, the insufferable, smug look on the beast master’s face as he stood with Kazuki, Juubie and Emishi, behind Gingi, almost like some kind of honor guard. They had all thought that Raitei would destroy the interloper into their territory, the arrogant jagan master with the snake-bite grip that had walked into the Infinite Fortress to challenge the Lightening Lord. They had been so smug, so sure that Raitei would beat this intruder, would destroy this one single, fragile seeming boy, the boy who came looking for death in the Infinite Fortress.

Black was a color Ban was used to wearing in his heart. He had worn black so often and for so long, that death didn’t scare him. He had actually welcomed the thought of dying, because it might be a change from the black that his life was. So, he had been ready to die that day, and Raitei had tried his best to give him his wish. But, at some moment during the struggle, something caught at the blackness that enveloped him and tore it away, letting him see the shining, golden splendor of Gingi Amano hiding behind the ice of Raitei, and Ban had decided to live, to break the ice that encased Gingi, to bring him out. With the renewed will to live, he over came Raitei, shattered the ice that held Gingi a prisoner of the Infinite fortress and took him away.

And there was light and joy in Ban’s life in the form and feelings of Gingi Amano, his best friend. His only friend. And he lived, the blackness pushed so far away it was all but forgotten about.

Then Shido had blazed his way into Ban’s life. He had always been on the periphery, little more that an annoyance, someone that Ban had delighted in tormenting just for the sake of seeing Shido get so angry. Actually, on honest reflection, Ban never really did hate Shido, it was probably little more then a minor irritation for the jagan master, someone he never even gave a passing thought to when the beast master wasn’t actually in his presence, making himself unavoidable. Ban was too wrapped up in Gingi to consider other people, except in a fleeting, passing way.

Until the day Shido had forced his way into Ban’s life, forcibly took Ban’s attention and focused it on himself, made the jagan master look at him with his eyes wide open. And in that moment, Ban was lost.

With a single kiss and a taste of his blood, the beast master had etched himself indelibly across Ban’s life. Now Ban could no more ignore Shido then he could stop breathing. In the way that an oyster covers a single grain of sand with layers and layers of substance to create something precious and beautiful, so did Ban’s heart build love for Shido. A true, deep, abiding love. The love of which Ban had never felt before. It was a love that so encompassed Ban’s self that he never realized just how powerful this love had become.

They hadn’t changed all that much, really. They still bickered constantly, disagreed on the ways and means of things, still called each other monkey tamer and snake bastard, but now there was an undertone of affection in the epitaphs. True, Shido often called Ban baby, but that was a private thing between the two of them. In public, little seemed to have changed, except they no longer expressed the desire to watch the other die a slow and painful death. All in all, it was a very pleasant relationship.

That all changed the day Ban’s idyllic world came crashing down, when his dreams collapsed, with the end of Paradise. All of the black that had been stuffed down inside came looming back up, pulling him under so that he couldn’t breath, swirled over and around him until he didn’t know which way was up, closing over him and drowning him in the knowledge that the blackness within him would never truly go away, it could only be pushed back for awhile.

And he was buried so deep, this time, and it was all so heavy, he didn’t think he could fight his way out again. Even the bright light that was Gingi was distant and dim, so far away. He had dug his way out of this pit of despair so many times before, and each time it seemed to get deeper and harder. And he was so tired.

He knew his friends, no his friend, Gingi, was very concerned, but he just couldn’t raise his arms to start the weary process of digging his way out of the blackness that shrouded him again. It was too hard. He only wanted to sleep. To sleep without dreams. The dreams were the worst, because in each and every dream his fingers brushed Shido’s as the beast master teetered on the brink of the black emptiness. Just one more step, but Ban could never take it in time. Shido’s fingers always slipped away from his, and Shido was gone. Then the blackness loomed up to devour him, and Ban could only collapse in mute surrender.

Ban would wake up from these dreams drenched in cold sweat, screaming in his mind, only to sleep and dream again.

Shido. Shido was the bright sun that warmed Ban’s world, that kept the dark clouds at bay. Shido, who had blazed his way across Ban’s path like a shooting star. And now, his star was burned out.

And so, with the blackness triumphant, winning his soul away from the light, Ban decided to end it all. He knew Gingi would cry, but Gingi was stronger then he knew. He would be alright. His bright light would always shine. Ban had banished Raitei for good. Gingi had friends that would help him over it, unlike Ban who had only Gingi and Shido. Ban knew Paul and Natsumi and Hevn and Kazuki would care for him. Especially Kazuki.

Kazuki of the strings loved Gingi, and they would do well together. Kazuki would comfort and care for Gingi and their love would grow. They would be happy with each other. Ban smiled at that thought.

And then he stood upon the edge of never and looked out on the blackness of forever. And, as he took that first step into eternity, he heard a golden voice calling a name.

“Hey, Juliet...”


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Thanks for reading, hope your visit was a good one.

The next part of The Tangled Web will be Descent into Darkness. Shido is back, but the darkness still haunts Ban.