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Silently	By : Auska Category: +. to F > DNAngel Views: 2131 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own DNAngel, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1-Silently
- 1
~Silently~

By:
Aerys Krystie.

Theme:
AU.

Plot:
Given a body of their own, Dark and Krad are introduced to their own emotions.
Dark embraces his, while Krad steps into himself, his own voice screaming
silently within him.

Warnings:
Major one � OOC-ness. Don�t bitch to me! You�ve been warned.

Disclaimer:
The characters of D.N.Angel do not belong to me. I make no profit
from this.

~ * ~

Three and a
half, no, longer, nearly four months they had had their own body. Something had
gone wrong somewhere. Neither he nor Dark knew what had happened, neither wanted
to know. They no longer had to depend on a host, like a parasite.

So much had
happened during the last few months. It was like being born, with only memories
to remind of how your life was before. Like a past life, only you knew who you
were when it happened. You didn�t need to be hypnotized or go into meditation.
They were as clear as day, everything playing out like a movie.

They had moved
in with their ex-hosts. Satoshi hadn�t seemed pleased to see Krad in his own
body. Krad couldn�t blame him. He had treated the boy badly. He wouldn�t be
pleased to see himself.

They still had a
connection with their host. Some kind of mental link. Krad hated it. Satoshi
knew exactly what he was thinking and vise versa. They both wanted their
privacy, and could only get when the other was sleeping. Krad couldn�t remember
the last time he slept. He had too much to think about.

What he had to
think about, Krad didn�t know. Not feeling the need to have complete control
over Satoshi, Krad just left him alone, allowing him to live his own life. In
the meantime, Krad was trying to get himself and his feelings under control.

The one feeling
he hated and couldn�t understand was hunger. He usually tried to ignore for as
long as possible. Majority of the time, he wasn�t really hungry, just his
stomach was. Due to that, he had lost a lot of weight. Not that anyone cared.

Satoshi didn�t
care what Krad did, as long as he didn�t drag him into it, or force him to pay a
fortune for bail. During the time Krad had his own body, he was sure he and
Satoshi hadn�t shared more than five words in one time. That did hurt.

Krad knew he was
not a very good angel, but he had tried to change. Tried to be liked, but all
that did was blow up in his face. His host wanted nothing to do with him, and
Krad could understand that.

Looking out of
the window of which sill he was currently sitting on, Krad sat the sun beginning
to rise. He lowered his eyes, hopping off the sill. May as well go for a walk.
Dressing quickly in a white sweat and white jeans, Krad left the room Satoshi
had graciously given him.

Pulling his
shoes on at the front door, Krad left the house, locking the door. Head lowered,
he had no idea where he was going. No destination in mind, just as long as he
was away from the house when Satoshi woke.

A few moments
later, he knew where he was headed. The same place he always went whenever he
went for a walk: the park. He would do a couple of laps, sit down for a few
minutes, then head back to the house and go back to his room.

He frowned when
his stomach growled. What did it want from him? He fed it a day ago, now it was
hungry again? It was worse than a baby. Well, too bad. It would just have to go
hungry.

Entering the
park, Krad raised his head, smiling softly as a gentle breeze washed over his
body. Enjoying it for a moment, he lowered his head again and continued with his
laps. Walking into someone, he mumbled an apology and went on his way.

He didn�t stop,
even when the person called his name. He knew who that voice belonged to. There
was only one person on this planet more annoying than Risa, and that was Dark.
He didn�t want to deal with the dark angel. Not now.

Not when he
looked like crap. His skin was paler than usual, but still blemish free. His
eyes were deader than usual, but lined with dark circles from lack of sleep. The
only things he had been taking care of were his nails and hair. He didn�t care
how girly that made him.

He tensed when a
hand landed on his shoulder, and held on. He raised his head, glaring over his
shoulder at Dark, who just grinned. Jerking his shoulder free, Krad turned.

�What?�

�Ooh, someone
woke � Holy crap! What happened to you?� Dark opened his eyes, staring at Krad.

Krad turned on
his heel, walking away. He could hear Dark behind him. �Did you want something?�

Dark walked in
front of Krad, stopping him again. �What happened to you?�

�How many times
are you going to ask me the same damn question, Mousy?!� Krad�s eyes filled with
hate.

Dark was looking
good, Krad would admit. His skin was still nicely tanned. He had put on a
little, only a little, bit of weight. His eyes still twinkled with mischief.
Krad really envied him. And worse yet, he seemed genuinely concerned about him.

Sighing, Krad
shook his head. �What do you want from?�

Dark�s brow
furrowed. �What�happened to you?�

Krad tensed. �Is
that all you�re going to ask? It�s none of your business!�

�Damn it, Krad!
What are you doing to yourself?� Dark looked Krad up and down. His cheeks were
sunken, his clothing hung loosely from his body. He didn�t look right.

�It�s none of
your business. How many times do I need to say it?�

Dark felt ready
to punch Krad, but settled for a slap. He wasn�t sure how much damage a punch
would do. Krad looked shocked at the assault, but swung into action, slapping
Dark back.

Dark couldn�t
believe they were about to get into a catfight. Instead, he tripped Krad, and
straddled his waist. Krad didn�t look as though he had the strength to fight off
a butterfly at the moment.

�What are you
doing?! Get off me!� Though he knew it would be futile, Krad was not going to be
pinned there without a fight.

Dark stared down
at Krad. �You�re not going anywhere until you explain yourself.�

Krad stopped
struggling, frowning up at Dark. �Then neither are you. Last time I checked,
what I did with my life did not concern you.�

�Are you
kidding? Satoshi won�t shut up to Daisuke about what you�re doing. Apparently
you rarely sleep and eat. You disappear for hours on end. You won�t talk to him.
You keep your mind blank. You�ve basically turned into a zombie.�

Krad closed his
eyes. He had no idea that what he was doing was actually affecting Satoshi. �I�m
not talking to him? He�s not making an effort to talk to me, either.�

Dark sighed.
�That�s because you don�t even look at him, Krad.�

How could he
look at Satoshi? After everything he put that kid through. He had already
apologized for doing it. What more did they expect from him? He had changed his
ways. Wasn�t that enough? Why must they always want more? No matter how much
they try, they can�t force a triangle through a circle.

Krad had nothing
left to give. How many times was he to apologize? How many times was he to thank
Satoshi for giving him somewhere to stay? How many times was he to be the way he
was? He didn�t want to be that way again. Why could no-one understand that? What
more did they want?

�Say something,
Krad,� Dark whispered, as he stared at Krad�s blank eyes.

�I have nothing
to say. Except, go to hell. The day Satoshi actually gives a damn about me is
the day the apocalypse comes.� Krad did not need this.

Dark growled,
slapping Krad again, who gasped. �He does care about you, jackass! How could you
think he wouldn�t?�

Krad scoffed. �I
doubt someone like you would understand. Not everyone had a perfect relationship
with their host, okay? I was cruel and sadistic, I know this. I have apologized
for it. There is nothing left for us to talk about. And if you think there, you
are badly misinformed.�

�Krad, it�s not
only Satoshi who is worried about, I am too. I don�t like what you�re doing to
yourself. It�s not healthy.� Dark�s eyes softened with compassion.

�What a load of
crap, Dark. That junk might work on Daisuke, but it won�t on me. I�m not a
gullible fool.� Krad turned his head to the side, staring at a tree. Anything
was better than seeing that look in Dark�s eye.

Dark realized
then that Krad needed to work out his emotions. He had gone through the same
thing. As soon as he was able to scream, shout, laugh and cry he would be fine.
It was like having a bomb slowly tick away inside. The longer Krad kept it
locked away, the sooner it would implode, eventually killing the golden beauty.

�Krad, you don�t
have to do everything alone.� Dark saw Krad frown slightly. Now that he had the
other�s attention, Dark knew Krad would listen to every word. �I went through
the same thing. You�re a lot further along that I was, but if you don�t do
something about it soon, you could seriously hurt yourself.�

�You don�t know
when to quit, do you?�

�No. Not when it
comes to someone I can help. It�s even better, because I know I can help someone
I care about.� Dark smiled warmly.

�Then you should
be talking to Satoshi, and not me.� Krad continued to stare at the tree. The way
the bark cracked was rather interesting.

Dark kept his
temper under control. There had to be a way to get through to Krad. Not thinking
twice about it, Dark turned Krad�s head to face him. He lent down, pressing his
lips to the blonde�s gently. Beneath him, he could feel Krad tense, but he
didn�t care.

Krad�s eyes
widened. He turned his head away again. He could feel tears springing to his
eyes. The last thing he needed was to cry in front of Dark.

Krad swallowed,
trying to remove the lump from his throat. �Get off me and leave me alone.�

Dark sighed, but
did as Krad requested. He stood, pulling Krad to his feet. Well, that hadn�t
gone as he had hoped. But, at least Krad knew that if he did want to talk about
what he was going through, he could turn to Dark.

�That offer
wasn�t a total load of crap, Krad. If you do want to talk, I will listen. I just
hope you do it soon before you do seriously hurt Satoshi or yourself.� Dark let
go of Krad�s hand, walking away from the blonde.

Krad watched
Dark leave. He could hurt Satoshi? Chewing his lower lip, Krad made his way back
home. It seemed like he had a lot of thinking to do.

* * *

Four days had
passed since that scene in the park, and Krad had kept himself locked up in his
room. He left only once and that was because the hunger pains couldn�t be slept
off. He quickly made himself something and left the kitchen before Satoshi found
him.

In those four
days, he was given the chance to think things through. He had found out that
Dark wasn�t talking through his butt. Satoshi was worried about him. But Krad
didn�t want to approach him, not while he was like this.

Perhaps he would
have to call Dark. He didn�t want to do that, either. There was a lot that he
didn�t want to. He knew a lot of it had to be done. He couldn�t allow Satoshi to
continue worrying about him.

The one thing he
refused to think about while Satoshi was awake was that kiss. It sent shivers
down his spine at the memory of it. His lips tingled, wanting more. Of course,
as soon as he realized what he was thinking, he had tried to stop it. Especially
since it appeared out of nowhere, and while Satoshi was awake.

Hopping off the
window sill and checking the alarm clock beside his bed, Krad chewed his lower
lip. Was it appropriate to call Dark at eleven-thirty in the evening? Well, Krad
needed to talk. It was now or never.

Leaving his
bedroom, Krad made his way into the study, where he found Satoshi�s phonebook.
He found Dark�s mobile number and dialed it. He couldn�t shake the fluttering
and sinking feeling as he waited for an answer.

�Hello?� was the
chirpy answer.

Krad chewed his
lower lip, staring at the polished top of the desk. �Dark�?�

�You can come
over.�

�Okay. I�ll be
around soon.� Krad hung up.

Going back to
his room, he pulled a pair of pants on over his boxers. Sometimes he wondered
why he bothered to get into his pajamas, he never went to sleep. Running the
brush through his hair, he tied it up in a messy high ponytail and left his room
again.

Pulling his
shoes on, he left the house, locking the door. He contemplated getting a cab,
but decided against it. He couldn�t be bothered paying for the fare.

Instead, he
jogged over to the Niwa house. He arrived fifteen minutes later, not surprised
to see Dark waiting for him. He was suddenly having second thoughts about this.
He stopped at the front gate, terrified of being alone with Dark.

Forcing his fear
down, Krad opened the gate, closing once he was through and made his way up to
the door. He closed his eyes as Dark cupped his cheek. He wanted to pull away,
yet at the same time, he wanted it to further.

Dark opened the
front door, stepping aside, allowing Krad to enter first, which the blonde did,
and taking his shoes off. Dark closed the door, locking it, stepping past Krad,
heading towards the stairs.

Krad followed
close behind Dark, the flutter coming back with a vengeance. He chewed his lower
lip, keeping an eye on the back of Dark�s head. He took a deep breath when Dark
stopped, opening a door. He had no choice.

Entering the
room, Krad was shocked frozen. He could not believe the mess. He was seconds
from fainting.

�Just ignore the
mess,� Dark said casually.

Ignore it? It
wasn�t possible. Krad tiptoed around the piles of clothing, going to the window
sill and sitting on it. He didn�t realize it had become habit to go straight to
the window. He stood again, turning his back to it.

Dark went to his
bed, laying down on it. �So, what did you want to talk about?�

Krad took a deep
breath. Where did he start? The beginning was always good. But, where was the
beginning? Where was the end? What did he want to talk about?

Dark sat up,
looking over at Krad. �Come over here.� Dark watched as Krad reluctantly made
his way over to the bed, sitting on the edge. �Start wherever you want to.�

Krad gasped as
Dark pulled him down to the bed, holding him close. �What are you doing?�

�This is what
you want, isn�t it?� Dark knew Krad was about to fight him on it. �I know it is,
Krad.�

How could he be
so sure? He went through the same thing. Relaxing a fair bit, Krad turned
onto his back, staring at Dark�s ceiling. �Do you know why I want it?�

Dark chuckled.
�It�s what we all want.�

Krad blinked,
turning his head to look at Dark. �I don�t think I want it. I think I need it. I
also think it was why I�ve been so compelled to control my host.�

�You and I are
the only ones to know what happened.� Dark smiled gently at the pale jewel
beside him. �Is that all?�

Krad shook his
head. �I have been avoiding Satoshi. After all I�ve done to him � Even though he
claims to have forgiven me, I know that deep down there will be a part of him
that will never forgive me.� With a sigh, Krad sat up, surprised that Dark
allowed him to. �I can�t forgive myself for what I tried to do to him. How could
I expect him to?�

Dark sat up
behind Krad, resting his chin on a bony shoulder. �It�s not farfetched to
believe.�

�But it is a
ridiculous antic. I don�t know why I�m so bent on wanting to be forgiven.� He
gave a short, sarcastic laugh. �I guess we all hope for that deep down, too.�

�You�d be amazed
at what we want deep down.�

�During the
first week of having my own body, the only thing I wanted was to wake up the
next morning. Then, all of sudden, all this came crashing down on me. I knew
what I had to do, but, like with this, I couldn�t bring myself to do it. I knew
it had to be done, but�I don�t know. Something in me was screaming �don�t do
it�.� Krad stood, hearing Dark do the same. �I think rejection terrifies me.�

Dark watched
Krad. �It scares everyone.�

�Does it scare
you?� Krad faced Dark.

�For some
things, yes.�

Krad laughed,
really laughed. �You�re the great Phantom Thief. Nothing would reject you.�

�You would,�
Dark said with a shrug.

Krad lowered his
eyes. �No, I wouldn�t. I never could.� Krad blushed softly. Well, he was pouring
his hopes and fears out; he may as well be truthful in everything else too.

Dark smirked.
�You really couldn�t deny me?�

Krad shook his
head. �Every time you wanted me to come out, I did. I�m like everyone else. I
want some things. You were one of them.�

�Past tense?�

Krad shrugged.
�You fell in love with that woman. I couldn�t compete with someone like that. I
was male to begin with.�

�That��

�I know. That
never stopped us before. That was before. Once true love took its course,
there was nothing left for me. Nothing, except my host. I was so hurt that you
had just left me. Left me for a human. Of course, that host decided to let me be
raped, so it was the perfect cover. No-one had to know why I was truly such a
bastard.� Krad�s eyes darkened. �That is also why I did try to kill you several
times. Yet, each time, I could never bring myself to do it.�

Dark frowned in
perplexity. He never knew that. He hadn�t wanted to reopen old wounds, but
sometimes that couldn�t be helped.

�When she
finally passed away, I couldn�t have been happier. Yet, I was still bitter
about it. It was only until recently that I decided to let it go and move on. I
knew I could never be with you again. All my anger and sorrow just came through
when I got this body. I-I didn�t know what to do. I knew I couldn�t turn to
Satoshi. I certainly couldn�t turn to Daisuke, because his mother would try to
kill me on the spot. That left you. How could I explain myself?�

�You�re doing a
great job now.�

�All I have ever
wanted, Dark, was to wake up in your arms. Of course, two months ago, I realized
how selfish that really was and decided it would be better if I just lock it
away. Let those feelings just disappear. They almost had, until four days ago.�
Krad went back to the bed, sitting down on it.

�It was the
kiss, wasn�t it?�

Shaking his
head, Krad stared at Dark. �It was seeing you concerned for me. It was then that
I realized I would never be able to stop loving you.�

�Krad��

�You asked what
happened to me. I�ll tell you what happened to me, I was given a body with
emotions. I was bombarded with all these feelings and I didn�t know how to deal
with them, so I shut myself away. I couldn�t bring myself to embrace them, not
the way you had. I don�t know, I guess that�s the way I always dealt with
everything before, just keep them inside, don�t let anyone see what�s wrong with
me.�

�Krad��

�I know I should
have done something about it sooner. But how could I tell someone that I was in
love with my enemy? The person I had been trying to kill for the last century or
so? Do you have any idea how hard it was just saying then?�

�Krad��

�Not that it
matters anymore. You�ve made it clear that you find the opposite gender more
appealing. I don�t blame you. But, unlike you, I haven�t been able to let go. I
don�t know how you do it. Every��

�Damn it! Krad,
I still love you, too.�

Krad laughed,
his face brightening. �I was wondering how long it would take you to finally cut
me off and say it.�

Dark narrowed
his eyes. �Why didn�t you just let me say it then?�

Krad smiled at
Dark. �I had to see if you really meant it.�

�You�re a jerk.�

�I learnt from
the best.� Krad stretched his arms above his head. He felt a lot better. He
still hadn�t solved all his problems, but at least now he would be able to talk
to Satoshi and find out what�s bothering him. �I think I had best head home,
now.�

Dark went to his
bed, lying down and bringing Krad down with him. �Stay the night,� he said,
turning Krad over to face him.

Krad lowered his
eyes, closing them as warm lips attached to his own. How could he say no after
that? He looked at Dark, grinning. �Okay.� As he settled himself against Dark�s
body, Krad could hear the majority of his problems screaming silently in him. He
never felt better.
- 1
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