Cold and Spicy

Title: Cold and Spicy
Author/Artist: Despina
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Some Violence, M/M sex
Word count: 3,645
Summary: Awakening the senses - Jasmine and gunmetal
A/N: Many many thanks to Aja for her quick and awesome beta.

Cold and Spicy

He awoke in a bed, warm and snug. His eyelids were heavy and they didn’t want to open but he blinked them slowly, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Rolling over he took in his surroundings. He was in a room, strangely both cluttered and sparse. Nothing hung on stark, white walls, but all around he could see discarded clothes, books scattered haphazardly, and two overflowing ashtrays. His nose twitched from a strong and lingering odor of cigarettes.

His thoughts cleared and memories of this room returned. He recalled not feeling well and two men standing near him. One man had long hair and an odd accent. Longhair had poked and prodded him, paying close attention to his freaky, furry and clawed hand.

The other man was tall, wore glasses and smoked continuously. Chain-smoker had watched Longhair intently, his body coiled with tension for some reason. When Longhair left, Chain-smoker sat on the bed’s edge and talked to him. All he could remember of their conversation was insisting Chain-smoker not call him Kitten.

Now he was alone. Gingerly, he sat up. He was weak and exhausted, but he was also curious about his surroundings. He was about to slip out of bed when the door opened and instinctively, he cowered, pulling bedding up to hide under it.

“Hey Tokitoh – you’re awake. Are you hungry?”

Tokitoh? Who was that? He peaked over the edge of the blanket. Chain-smoker was leaning against the doorjamb, staring at him. He had a calm expression on his features, and a cigarette hanging from his mouth.

“Tokitoh? I got some noodles for dinner and they’re in the other room. Do you want to come out and eat or do you want me to bring them to you?”

“Who are you?” he demanded, his voice cracking initially from extended disuse.

“I’m Kubota,” he answered, taking a drag of his cigarette. Kubota’s eyes were mesmerizing; they were a lustrous, burnished black.

“I don’t remember my name.” He sat up straighter, trying to look bolder than he felt.

“I know. You told me.” Kubota shrugged. “Not having a name seemed to bother you, so I gave you one.”

“Then… Toki…”

“Tokitoh Minoru,” Kubota finished for him.

He blinked at Kubota and struggled with his words. “Then, Tokitoh Minoru isn’t really my name?”

Kubota shrugged again. “Seemed like a good enough name to me. You can pick something else if you don’t like it. I’ll get your noodles.”

He watched Kubota turn and leave the room. Kubota was leaving him all alone with nothing but his empty memory to keep him company. For some reason, the idea of being alone frightened him far more than anything the tall chain-smoker might do.

“Wait!” He called after Kubota while he scrambled out of bed. His legs were weak and rubbery, unable to hold his weight. He leaned over the bed, trying to brace himself with his arms and use it for leverage to remain semi-upright. He lost his battle, pulling most of the bedding with him during his slow motion collapse. Kubota darted forward, catching him before he connected with the hardwood.

“Steady, Tokitoh,” Kubota said, his voice soft and gentle. “You’ve been in bed for a long time and you need to take it easy.”

Tokitoh – yes, he liked the way Kubota said his name. The combination of syllables merging and rolling off Kubota’s tongue made a lyrical and welcoming sound. Yes, Tokitoh was a good name.

Kubota was still holding him. Tokitoh could smell the faint, comforting scent of jasmine shampoo from Kubota and almost unaware of his own action, he snuggled closer into lean, muscular arms. He felt sticky, warm moisture and he looked down at his clawed, furry fingers digging into Kubota’s upper arm. Red blossomed on Kubota’s white shirt, spreading quickly before Tokitoh jerked his hand away.

“Kubota-san… I’m sorry.” He felt tears prick at his eyes. What was this feeling? “I’m sorry.”

Cigarette still hanging from his mouth, Kubota picked him up, placing him gently on the bed. “It’s nothing to worry about, hardly a scratch.”

“Sometimes, I don’t know how to control it.” He hung his head, allowing his hair to cover his eyes. He wondered what he was and why anyone would put up with such a freak.

“Tokitoh…” A warm hand tousled his hair. “I’ll bring your noodles.”

Kubota fed him, making him feel like a child but also, at the same time, safe, secure and wanted. He gazed at Kubota, all glasses, cigarettes and an unflappable, placid exterior. Tokitoh instantly trusted and felt comfortable with this man, a mix of emotions his fractured memory could not recall experiencing before.

“Why are you staring at me?” Kubota finally asked him.

Tokitoh shrugged and answered, “You’re kinda cool.”

Kubota blinked and then gave him a small smile. “Yeah, I like you, too.”

Narrowing his eyes, Tokitoh held up his odd hand. “Even with this?”

Taking a drag from his cigarette and then exhaling, Kubota said, “Sure. I don’t see how that makes a difference. You’re still Tokitoh.”

Tokitoh nodded. “Yeah.”


He had been living at Kubo-chan’s apartment for about two months when one night, his roommate didn’t come home. Tokitoh wasn’t worried, but he was hungry and their kitchen was bare. He left Kubo-chan’s house with a little money he found scattered around the house and went in search of food.

On his way home and with his bag of groceries, Tokitoh took a wrong turn, stumbling into a couple of unsavory characters. Having lived on the street, he wasn’t unfamiliar with fighting, but even with his freakishly strong hand, two against one was hardly fair. Tokitoh decided to run, but a third, unseen opponent blind-sided him with a metal pipe and he fell to the sidewalk, his ears ringing and his vision blurring.

He was unable to stand and the thugs around him were closing in, two armed with knives, the third with his trusty pipe. Tokitoh knew his attackers were preparing to administer a beating and his odds of surviving were bad. No one knew where he was and probably no one would even notice his absence. Closing his eyes, he waited for the inevitable pain, but it never came.

There was a crash followed by a long moment of loud silence. Cautiously, he cracked one eye open to see a miraculous sight. Kubo-chan was there, holding his gun before him, aiming at Tokitoh’s nearest attacker. Another attacker lay nearby, blood flowing from a wound on his head into an ever-expanding pool of red. Tokitoh wondered if the man was dead. Everyone else stood as if frozen.

“Kubo-chan,” Tokitoh said. Saying Kubo-chan’s name was difficult.

“You’re alive?” Kubota asked.

“Yes,” he answered, rolling to his stomach and finally managing to gain his feet. Words were still hard to form but he asked, “Are you going to kill them, Kubo-chan?”

“I could,” Kubota said, his eyes were cold and detached, like the metal of his gun. “They did hurt you.”

One of the two remaining fell to his knees, tears of fear falling from his eyes while he groveled. “Please don’t kill me!”

“Don’t, Kubo-chan,” Tokitoh said, closing the distance between him and Kubota.

Kubota stared at Tokitoh’s assailants, his gun still trained on the ringleader. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Kubo-chan said, and aimed his gun towards the sky.

The three didn’t waste a moment, practically falling over each other to run away.

Kubota watched them disappear before he slid his gun out of sight. He placed his arm around Tokitoh’s waist, holding him close, lending him strength and leading him home.

“I brought home take out,” Kubo-chan said.

“That’s good because what I bought is splattered over the street,” Tokitoh said. “I’m starving.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, Kubo-chan?” He asked while they limped home.

“Yeah?”

“You always carry that gun, don’t you?”

“Most times.”

“Oh.”

“Does it bother you?” Kubota asked, he sounded very serious.

“Nah,” Tokitoh answered truthfully. “You look pretty cool with it and it sort of fits you.”

“Really? How do you figure?”

“You know,” Tokitoh said, feeling a little embarrassed with his words, “you’re cool and tough.”

“Oh,” Kubo-chan said with a smile.

Tokitoh thought about what happened on their quiet walk home: Kubota’s extreme violence mixed with his gunmetal stare when facing Tokitoh’s attackers. In fact, when Tokitoh considered his rescuer, he realized Kubota treated most everyone with unemotional detachment. Only with Tokitoh was he possessive and potentially scary. Tokitoh was very happy Kubo-chan wanted to protect him.


Something was happening to Tokitoh. Ever since Kubo-chan had saved him from those thugs on the street, he felt different. For several months now, when he looked at Kubo-chan’s willowy frame, he felt weird. Tokitoh spent hours staring at Kubota’s long fingers holding a cigarette, dexterously working a game controller, or even taking apart his gun. He was still just Kubo-chan, why did Tokitoh suddenly begin craving a touch from those strong, nimble hands on his skin?

Then there was Kubo-chan’s scent. Whenever he was close, Tokitoh could discern all the different aromas that went into Kubota’s overall essence. He smelled of cigarettes, freshly washed skin, and his underlying tangy fragrance. Tokitoh enjoyed nuzzling Kubo-chan’s longish-hair and inhaling the scent of jasmine shampoo. He didn’t think he should like doing that, sniffing a guy’s hair.

More and more, he found himself sitting close to Kubo-chan. He would unconsciously lean into Kubo-chan, seeking contact, just like the cat he was accused of emulating. He wanted Kubota’s comforting and protective aura to blanket him.

Since Tokitoh’s initial recovery, there had never been a time when they didn’t sleep together. Tokitoh simply took it for granted. His memories were sketchy, unreal images, more feelings than actual remembrances, but his dreams would call him back, causing him to relive heavy fears that did not exist during daylight hours. He had a difficult time sleeping if Kubo-chan wasn’t next to him. Kubo-chan’s wiry arms holding him with serene tenderness would lull Tokitoh to sleep, banishing his frightening nightmares.

However, sleeping together was now creating other challenges. The first time Tokitoh awoke from a wet dream, he was mortified. Kubo-chan calmly watched him stumbling and cursing towards the bathroom, a knowing smirk on his face. When Tokitoh returned to bed, still damp from his shower, red-faced and angry about his embarrassment, Kubo-chan simply wrapped his protective arms around Tokitoh and went back to sleep.

Soon after, Tokitoh’s wet dreams became a problem. They were an almost nightly occurrence. What he found most disarming about his dreams was how he remembered them clearly and they were all exclusively about Kubo-chan. He had gone from nightmares to dreams of happy ecstasy and he wasn’t certain which was more troublesome.

After nearly a week of wet, sticky underwear and 2:00 AM showers, he went to bed feeling wary of sleep. He stared at the wall, with Kubo-chan spooned tightly against his back. Tokitoh wanted to close his eyes but he knew what would happen if he did.

“Tokitoh,” Kubo-chan whispered in his ear, fingers caressing Tokitoh’s hip, “tell me and I’ll help.”

Tokitoh started, he thought Kubota was asleep. “Kubo-chan… I think I might need something.”

“Do you?” Kubota’s hand brushed lightly against his erection. “Hmm. Did you know that holding it in can be unhealthy?”

Tokitoh caught his breath when Kubo-chan’s strong, warm fingers slithered under his shirt and spread out flat against his belly. Kubo-chan’s touches felt comforting and confusing. “You really are a pervert.”

“Of course,” Kubo-chan sighed and pressed against Tokitoh’s ass.

Something hard ground against him. “Kubo-chan, are you…”

“Yes. I am, too.”

“I need something, Kubo-chan, but I don’t know what to do and I don’t know how to ask!” Tokitoh swallowed, feeling his cock stiffen. “I think there’s something’s wrong with me.”

Kubota chuckled. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Nothing we can’t fix.” He tugged at Tokitoh’s underwear.

“I’ve been reading a lot of stuff on the internet,” Tokitoh continued. He surrendered completely, but his body shook while Kubo-chan stripped him. “I think I might be gay. I dream about you and we are doing things. You know, sex things.”

“Uh-huh.” Kubota settled next to him, propping his head up on his upraised palm while his right hand wandered down Tokitoh’s flesh, touching his erection.

He gasped. “Oh!”

“Is this what you want?” Kubo-chan asked quietly, his fingers tightening on Tokitoh’s cock.

“Yes!” Tokitoh’s body arched into Kubota’s touch and he inhaled deeply as a faint fragrance of jasmine wafted through his senses.

“Haven’t you done this to yourself?” Kubo-chan asked, his thumb rubbing against the wet tip.

“No! I haven’t…” Tokitoh almost shouted his denial and then he tossed his head with his ache. Kubota’s touch was so good it felt almost painful. “Kubo-chan, I’m not a freak.”

“I do it.” Kubota made an amused sound and asked, “Are you saying I’m a freak?”

“Yes!”

“Well, let me show you how much of a freak I can be then.”

Kubo-chan shifted, moving off the bed and stepping over to a small dresser. He turned on a small lamp and returned to their bed with a bottle.

“What’s that?” Tokitoh asked, even if he could already guess the answer. He had read a lot of stuff on the internet and he knew what a bottle of oil meant. “Oh! I wondered why you bought that at the time. Now I know.”

“Tokitoh, I use this for a lot of things.”

“Yeah, right.” Tokitoh’s eyes narrowed with his disbelief. “Sure you do.”

Kubota positioned himself between Tokitoh’s opened thighs and stared at him. Sparkling eyes, shiny and grayish-black, the color of night but filled with a paradox of predatory warmth. “I will admit, though, I was hoping to use it with you.”

Tokitoh swallowed, gazing into those eyes of bewildering depths. Kubota was breathtaking in beauty and kindness. He was everything to Tokitoh, the person who saved him, cared for him and loved him. What he felt for Kubo-chan was not simple gratitude. Tokitoh could never deny Kubo-chan anything, not even this. No, especially not this. He frowned saying, “You’d better not hurt me.”

“Never.” Kubota leaned over and licked at precum drizzling from his cock.

Kubo-chan’s tongue and fingers on him felt right – a curious mix of titillation and satisfaction. Tokitoh placed his feet flat on the bed and spread his knees wider, allowing Kubo-chan better access. Oiled fingers dipped low and teased highly sensitive areas, finally easing gently inside him. At that same instant, Kubota’s hot, wet mouth closed over his hard length and sucked at him, effective distracting Tokitoh from the mild, stretching pain. Kubo-chan stroked him only a few times before Tokitoh’s body tensed and a fierce, desperate euphoria washed over him.

“Kubo-chan…” Tokitoh panted while his vision cleared. “Was that... Did I just come?”

Chuckling and licking his lips, Kubota sat up. “Yes.”

“I get why people make such a big deal out of it.” Tokitoh felt calm and relaxed but still curious. “Can we...”

“Yes?” Kubo-chan tipped his head to one side and looked at Tokitoh expectantly.

“…do it again?”

Kubota smiled. “Okay.”

“You’ll… um, you’ll go inside me this time?”

Dark eyes, made darker with desire remained tender and calm. “Only if you want me to.”

“Kubo-chan, don’t you know?”

“What?”

“If you don’t do anything about this,” Tokitoh sat partially up and shyly touched Kubota’s prominent, neglected erection, “you might get sick.”

Kubota exhaled but continued to maintain eye contact with Tokitoh while opening the bottle of oil again. “Tell me if I hurt you and I’ll stop.” Settling between open thighs, Kubo-chan made gentle circles around Tokitoh’s entrance, finally dipping his fingers inside, but only shallowly.

Tokitoh thought he should be embarrassed over Kubota’s intense scrutiny, but instead, he felt pure excitement and his erection rapidly returned. “More,” he whispered, lifting his hips and urging Kubo-chan along. He wanted to experience that wave of pleasure again, particularly with Kubo-chan inside him.

Two fingers entered him and he caught his breath with the stretching invasion.

“Tokitoh?” Kubo-chan’s concerned voice asked. “Are you all right?”

“Yes!” Tokitoh panted. “Don’t you dare stop.”

“Okay,” Kubota said, moving his fingers once again. He twisted his fingers and pressed.

“Ah!” Tokitoh exclaimed and quickly added, “I’m not hurt, Kubo-chan, it feels good!

”Can you take more? I’m bigger than two fingers, even when I separate them,” Kubota said. He parted his fingers, expanding and loosening Tokitoh entrance. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m telling you, you won’t hurt me,” Tokitoh said. He was losing his patience. “I want you to do me.”

Kubota pulled his fingers from Tokitoh’s body. “Okay.” For a third time he opened the bottle of lubricant and this time, he coated his own cock.

Tokitoh stared at Kubo-chan’s erection; it looked big. He hoped he could take it. He wanted Kubo-chan to feel good. Tokitoh rolled onto his stomach and raised his hips.

“What are you doing?” Kubo-chan asked.

Looking over his shoulder, he could feel his face heat with shame when said, “The websites said this is probably the easiest way for your first time.”

“Tokitoh…you even read up about this part?” Kubota leaned forward, nuzzling and kissing the back of his neck.

“Of course. I’m pretty sure I might even know more than you do.”

“I know a few things,” Kubota answered. “Remember, I’m the pervert. I think I know enough.”

Kubota’s jasmine and cigarette scent filled his nose and he chuckled. “Heh. I know, Kubo-chan. Now come on.”

He closed his eyes when Kubota spread his cheeks open. Tokitoh knew Kubo-chan would be studying him, staring at his most private areas. No one else could do this to him, only Kubo-chan. Feeling the bed shift under him, he exhaled, trying to remain calm. He felt something rubbed against his slick opening. Then slowly, meticulously slowly, Kubota’s cock began to fill him.

Tokitoh felt a burning stretch, a pain so acute he had to bite his lip to keep from crying out loudly. He had prepared himself for pain and he managed to remain silent except for a quiet groan when he finally felt Kubo-chan’s hips press snugly against his ass. After a moment, the stinging burn began to subside.

“Tokitoh…” Kubo-chan’s voice was deep and scratchy in tone, but filled with unexpressed emotion. “Tokitoh, you’re shaking, are you hurt?”

“I’m fine, Kubo-chan.” He turned his head to look over his shoulder. “Just a minute more and I’ll be ready.”

“Okay.”

He knew Kubota would not move again until Tokitoh gave the word. The world could fall down around them and Kubo-chan would still wait. Tokitoh was aware of his throat tightening, with devotion, love and desire blurring together. His sweeping combination of feelings caused his eyes to fill and threaten tears. He rocked his hips backwards, seeking Kubo-chan’s warmth and calm, wanting to get closer to him.

“Tokitoh,” Kubo-chan stilled both their hips. “Do you think you can do this if we face one another? I need to see you.”

Tokitoh did not hide the relief in his voice when muttered his agreement. Initially, Tokitoh had thought facing away from Kubota would make things easier and would also save him from any embarrassment. Now he realized watching Kubo-chan’s face and seeing his reaction while they made love was immensely important.

Kubota backed out of him and rolled Tokitoh onto his back. Those elegant fingers, capable of so much violence, tentatively danced on Tokitoh’s skin. Tokitoh had never seen this kind of expression from Kubo-chan. Tender and hungry, he looked amazingly feral in the soft bedroom light. Raising his furry, clawed hand, Tokitoh cautiously touched Kubota’s cheek.

Kubo-chan captured his freakish hand and kissed his palm. Then Kubota leaned forward, passionately kissing him, pushing his tongue past Tokitoh’s lips and into his mouth. Tokitoh could taste cigarettes and spearmint gum along with Kubo-chan’s distinct flavor. While moaning into their kiss, Tokitoh also lifted his hips, pressing his erection against Kubota’s thigh.

Smiling, Kubo-chan said, “Should I hurry then?”

“Kubo-chan…”

This time when Kubota entered him there was minimal pain, only a mild discomfort link with the stretching sensation. Kubo-chan fit perfectly inside him and Tokitoh had never experienced anything more right in his life.

Kubo-chan was perspiring with his careful, deliberate movements. Tokitoh knew his lover was being too kind and was holding himself back. To remedy the situation, Tokitoh raised his hips, driving Kubo-chan’s cock further inside. They both moaned with the sensation, but it served as a trigger for Kubota. He looped his right arm under Tokitoh’s left leg and pressed even deeper. Kubo-chan’s steady movements stroked a spot inside that caused Tokitoh to shudder uncontrollably.

“Kubo-chan,” he said, choking out his words. “I’m getting that feeling again.”

“Me, too,” Kubota answered.

He could feel Kubo-chan harden and thicken in him. Then, when he didn’t think he could take one more sensation, Kubo-chan’s warm, slick hand closed over Tokitoh’s cock. He groaned with the additional pleasure and lost himself to his second orgasm, splashing both of them with his cum.

Kubo-chan snapped his hips, the last of his thrusts were not quite gentle when he allowed himself release. Afterwards, he slumped over Tokitoh, his body and hair damp with sweat. “Tokitoh, I…”

“Yeah, I know.” Tokitoh hugged him tightly, loving the feel of Kubo-chan’s sweat-slick and naked body against his own. “Me, too.”

Later, fresh from their shower, Tokitoh studied his lover again. Kubo-chan was smoking, sitting cross-legged on their bed, towel draped around his neck. His placid gunmetal exterior firmly back in place, but Tokitoh could also smell the gentle scent of jasmine shampoo.

That was a perfect description of Kubo-san. The world saw him as unemotional and cold like gunmetal, but Tokitoh saw him as spicy and sweet like jasmine.


- End -