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Learning to Play by Suteishichic	By : Suteishichic Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > General Views: 5628 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Prince of Tennis (Tennis no Ohjisama), nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Chapter List
- 1
- 2
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A/N: Learning to Play is the third volume in a continuing story that began in Learning to Fall (book 1) and continued in Learning to Land (book 2). As the story picks up exactly where Learning to Land left off, you are strongly advised to read them in order.
You can also find the chapters in order at www.suteishichic.com

Learning to Play by Suteishichic. Chapter One ~ Taki

Warnings: Yaoi, Love, Angst, Fluff, and Lots of Sex. Some kink. You've been warned ;)

Disclaimer: Nope not mine. Still in my dreams. ;)

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Since the moment they first met, Taki struggled to get close to Ohtori.
Actually, it was more like Taki was trying to fight his way through and battle his way to reach the freshman's heart.
Taki felt if there was just some way he could find to reach through the wall the freshman had built up around his past--if only there were some way to make Ohtori open up or to trick the freshman into talking--maybe then everything between them would change. Taki tried everything to get Ohtori to talk. He honestly did in every way imaginable.
The problem seemed to be that from the beginning Taki thought reaching Ohtori would be much easier than it was. Taki grossly underestimated how difficult this really was.
He was good with people. Good with drawing them out. And not just drawing them out to be the person they wanted every one else to see. No, what Taki was really good at was drawing someone out and getting to know a person as their true self.
Not everyone was able to do this. Most people ever saw only what another person wants you to see. To be able to get someone to trust you enough and let their walls down enough so you can really see their true self is a rare gift. It was a natural talent Taki had that made him unique. Even stupid slut Gakuto said he had a gift (and after all he would know because idiot Gakuto was the hardest person Taki ever had to work to get close to).
But really, Taki was good at getting close to someone. There was no one Taki couldn't get close to. Even Atobe eventually let Taki in.
And Taki used his gift only for good. It was one of his personal rules that he lived by. He only used his ability for good and he never used it for personal gain. Even if he liked someone or was interested in them, Taki never got close to someone to push himself on to them. He took friendship seriously and put his friendships over everything else. If things didn't work out, he never turned against someone or later used the things he knew to benefit himself or to blackmail anyone. Taki never took that idiot Gakuto up on his offers to get to know anyone to collect gossip and dirt on them (this was of course before they were friends). He never exploited his talent, and instead treated it as a sacred gift.
With an uncanny combination of patience and perseverance Taki was able to unwrap a person as if they were an onion. Slowly, terribly slowly, and with seemingly endless endurance, layer by layer, Taki would peel someone down until only their very core, their very essence was left. Given enough time Taki could uncover anyone for who they truly were. He could pare them down until all that was left in front of him was their authentic self. All pretenses and posturing were stripped away until they were left naked with their true motivations, desires, and fears exposed (and often stinking worse than any onion because after all this was Hyoutei).
For Taki, real, true love was to see someone completely peeled and divested like that and love them anyway (and have them see you the same way and love you back).
So of course he tried at first to get close to Ohtori by using his regular methods. Taki began by building a rapport with the intended target by casually chatting. The first few tentative steps and most people, even Gakuto, turned out to be welcome to someone getting somewhat close to them.
But Ohtori was different. Casual chatting never went beyond casual. Ohtori held everyone at arm's length. When the first steps seemed like they were going nowhere fast, Taki started to suspect that Ohtori's friend's death was the problem. It wasn't like Ohtori was talking about the guy or anything, but it seemed this was a major area where Ohtori shut down the most so Taki started there.
He started by reading books on relationships and how to talk to someone after a death. After a while, Taki was spending so much time in the bookstores that he had to pick several different stores to read this stuff in because the salespeople started to recognize him. He didn't mean to loiter and sure, he could easily afford to buy the books but no way could he buy stuff like that. No way could he risk Ohtori seeing what he was reading or even worse, get caught by Shishido.
Tentatively, he tried the suggestions in the books. Eventually he tried of them. He even looked up other ideas online and tried those. As a last resort he even went to Oshitari for advice on how to get someone to open up and talk for their own good. Nothing Taki tried worked.
Taki was not one to give up though. It was rare enough for him to really, really like someone and stay interested in them long enough to decide there was a chance. Once decided, as Taki showed his freshman year with his first boyfriend Ogawa-senpai, he went above and beyond to try to make things work. Taki was a fighter and he was a romantic. There was nothing more noble to him than fighting your hardest and putting everything on the line for the person you loved.
He'd learned the hard way with Ogawa-senpai that not everything he wanted would work out no matter how much he wanted it to or how much effort one person put in. Bitterly he found out with Ogawa-senpai that sometimes no matter how you fought and sacrificed there were no guarantees in life. All a person could do was do their best, work their hardest, fight with everything they had, and then let go and pray things would succeed.
There seemed to be a lot of luck and timing involved in love, and so far Taki was discovering he didn't have much of either.
What Taki did have though was that enduring patience and quite a bit of optimism. If things with the first person you love don't work out, Taki reasoned that at least you learned. The next time you would be better prepared and stronger. Even after things with Ogawa-senpai crashed and burned so horribly, there was things Taki gained. There was something to be said for wisdom and experience even if it hurt at the time. Much like tennis, a person grew stronger when they lost. Losing would help you to win the next time.
Taki resolved to take the lessons he learned with Ogawa-senpai and use them in his next relationship. He could take heartbreak that almost, but didn't destroy him, and use it to rise from the ashes. Of course, there was the matter of Taki having horrible taste in people. After Ogawa-senpai turned out to be such a poor choice dressed up gorgeously wearing chic nice-guy clothing, Taki realized his ability to screen people was off-kilter. At least that is what he discovered after many, many hours in therapy.
He discovered that and Taki discovered he was bipolar. He was not, as his parents accused, just sometimes depressed or a little down. When his moods were "dark and scary" his parents would say that he was just a little sad. They would tell him to snap out of it. They would tell him things like enjoy life now because things only get harder.
Feeling "a little down" became worse and worse after his breakup with Ogawa-senpai until Taki wondered if he'd ever get back up. Luckily he was at Hyoutei and a part of Atobe's freshmen. The moment Atobe noticed he was not at his best, Taki was whisked away to find out what was wrong with him. He had every medical test in the book (and then some) to try to find answers. Finally, a team of the best doctors diagnosed him with bipolar affective disorder.
Instead of being happy to have some kind of answer, Taki's parents in particular were mortified to receive the news. Taki found it more than a little ironic that his father, the head of one of the largest drug manufacturing companies in Japan, was ashamed of his son who needed his company's own drugs, but it was true. He had a mental illness and his parents were horribly embarrassed. They begged him for "the good of the family" to not let anyone know so he didn't. As far as Taki knew or really wanted anyone to know, the only people at school besides the administrator and medical staff who knew that he was bipolar was Atobe and that slut Gakuto.
His parents did look into alternative therapies and for a time Taki was put on a strict diet to appease them. He was sent to team after team of independent medical professionals, but the original diagnosis turned out to be the correct one. To the dismay of his parents, Taki wasn't going to feel better or be stronger through clean living or hope. It wasn't something he was going to just get over or feel better after a cup of tea or a hot bath or a walk outside.
What worked to keep Taki's mood lifted was a combination of tennis, meditation, a strict schedule, and therapy. Talking to a neutral person in therapy two or more times a week when he was really stressed helped, but not as much as having friends and a team around you everyday.
Still, sometimes it was hard. Some days were harder than others.
Maybe that was why without even knowing Ohtori, Taki instinctively reached out for the shy freshman. Maybe in some way he could relate to someone feeling that down and that sad even if in Taki's case it wasn't over the death of someone close.
But some good came out of meeting the freshman. Before Ohtori in large part due to his diagnosis, Taki had sort of given up on dating. He couldn't tell them what was wrong with him and was lousy at picking out good, honest people anyway.
Maybe being bipolar broke his ability to screen out people's true natures or maybe that ability that so many people naturally have just never really developed. And why not? Taki was the only child of a very wealthy family. He was a pampered prodigy and probably a little spoiled when he was younger by everyone around him. He was a cute kid. He had always been told he was attractive.
In fact, until he went away to Hyoutei, Taki had no idea that the servants in his parents' household might actually not adore him. He had zero clue they might instead jealously envy him enough to secretly dislike him. These were people he had grown up knowing and who he saw as a child everyday. These were people who since he was born always showed an accepting, smiling face to him and to his parents so naturally, Taki believed in their facades.
But after attending Hyoutei, his eyes were open and Taki's first trip home for a weekend from school where he could clearly see for the first time was shocking. It stunned him to his very core and left him reeling for some kind of grounding. The butlers, cooks, maids, and other servants didn't adore or love him. They didn't really care about him or his parents or his happiness. For them, working for Taki's family was not a pleasure as they often made it seem, but a job. Plain and simple. Sure, some of them liked his family and some were fond of him, but the staff was the staff and his family was his family. The two were not the same as he had childishly thought.
It was no wonder Taki was easily taken in by people with pleasant exteriors covering hidden motives. He had been his entire life. In fact, it was through all this that he first developed his gift for getting to know someone out of need. He needed to know the truth about people.
And still, it was so easy for him to be fooled if someone was intent on lying to him. He was lied to first by Ogawa-senpai who was too embarrassed to be dating a guy to let anyone know. One minute Ogawa-senpai adored him and couldn't live without him and the next moment he pretended like he didn't know who Taki was. Then Kahaya-senpai who Taki now strongly suspects was only out for his money and family reputation (she even tried to secretly get pregnant!). Next came his ex-best friend Gakuto, who in therapy Taki was still working on "processing" and progress was slow. He still wasn't quite sure why slut Gakuto had used him, but he was left with the feeling that idiot Gakuto completely had. And last but not least, was Sato. Since Taki hadn't gotten to him yet in therapy, he found it was better to avoid thinking about Sato and the horrible things that bastard had done.
But Ohtori was...different. The first time they met, after Ohtori woke up from passing out and all that, the first time they really talked though, Taki was reminded distinctly of all the good things in Ogawa-senpai. Ogawa-senpai at his best possible self, at his perfect core was Ohtori. He was simple, honest, open, and needing a friend. In fact, if it wasn't for Ohtori's best friend still kind of being in a relationship with Ohtori despite being dead--as if the guy was haunting the freshman--Taki could honestly see him and Ohtori being together. He clearly could picture them happy and in love with each other.
The problem was the moment Taki started to steer any conversation even remotely there to the dead friend, Ohtori shut down. The freshman immediately would change the subject and stubbornly keep it changed. If he couldn't keep it changed he would then try to end the conversation. If that didn't work he would say he was too tired to talk anymore.
It was frustrating. It often felt like Taki kept uselessly smacking his against a solid brick wall the freshman had built up around himself.
However, Taki was not going to give up. He read over and over getting the person to talk was the best way to help them. They needed help. Talking was the first step to helping them deal with their grief. You had to be supportive. You needed to keep the lines of conversation open. But most of all you had to keep presenting the grieving person with opportunities to open up and talk.
In the meantime, until Ohtori came around, Taki actively protected the freshman in ways the naive boy would never even realize. In many ways Ohtori was too good and too pure for a place like Hyoutei. Taki never wanted Ohtori to learn the ugly true face of the place if he could help it.
He let it be known that no one was to target or pick on Ohtori. No one was to challenge Ohtori at tennis or in any other area until the freshman adjusted. No one was to try to take the freshman's place on the sub-regs or they would have Taki to answer to.
And Taki was someone no one wanted for an enemy.
It was the very least he could do. Taki was Ohtori's senpai and roommate (and hoped to be more someday) so he sheltered the shy boy. He helped him, taught him, cared for him, and coddled him. Taki spent almost all of his waking and sleeping moments with the freshman or trying to find some way to reach him, but no matter what Taki tried, Ohtori rejected him and pushed him away. Again and again Ohtori shut down when they were talking or the freshman told Taki he just wanted to be friends.
But Taki knew better. There had been so many long looks and moments when it seemed like Ohtori was interested. Not just curious, but interested.
Ohtori wouldn't talk about his past, but he did ask Taki questions. Lots of them. Most of them were about how guys really dated each other at Hyoutei. How it worked when you had to keep so much of your relationship a secret. Who specifically you had to keep it a secret from, and who you could talk to.
He was very curious and very interested. He wanted to know how your guy friends would treat you when you were part of a couple with another guy. How it had to be a secret especially from the girls and why. How it could affect you if you both played tennis as a sub-regular. Ohtori asked question after question of things like signs you might see if someone the same gender as you might be interested in you. He asked how you let someone the same gender as you know you liked him in a romantic way. Ohtori wanted to know the best ways to confess to someone the same gender as you if they were a year older and in the tennis club.
And he asked things that only someone truly naive and seriously in like with another guy would wonder about. Ohtori asked if two men were dating, which one was supposed to kiss the other one first? Was it okay if the younger one kissed the older one first? When was a good time? Who was supposed to confess first? He asked if holding hands when you were alone was natural for two guys if they were dating. He inquired if one guy was older, who was supposed to ask the other one out on a date? He wanted to know where did two guys at Hyoutei usually go on dates? He asked who paid on a date between two guys if one was older?
The questions were silly, but they were so honest and earnest Taki found them charming. With loving reverence, Taki treated each question seriously. He answered each question patiently and gently to encourage the shy boy while he waited for Ohtori to open up. Over time, the questions themselves became little gifts Taki looked forward to each day.
A few good questions from Ohtori about first kisses and if a kiss or a hug would happen after a first date with two guys would have Taki smiling through the rest of his day. If the questions were really good, Taki found himself sitting in his next class grinning down at his desk like a fool. He sat there not caring that he was practically beaming from ear to ear while he planned his next conversation with Ohtori just to see if the freshman would finally talk (or confess maybe). Thinking that he would smile even more (his face hurt lately and it was wonderful) because each talk lately ended up with more good questions. The inquiries often varied but more and more, they would be slipped in to almost every conversation they shared together.
And while the questions were fun, and the waiting was sweet torture, the reality was Taki understood that even with the questions, the freshman was still grieving his best friend. But Taki knew even that would pass. Someday Ohtori would let go of his past and then he would be able to see Taki faithfully standing right there in front of him. Ohtori would see his senpai waiting for him to be ready and how Taki was trying his heart out to reach him.
So for now, Taki tried to bring up endless conversations of their pasts while Ohtori asked these questions allowing glimpses of their someday future. For hours and hours Taki tried to trade war stories in endless attempts to get confessions or even funny stories to drag things about ex-girlfriends and even ex-boyfriends into the open.
Taki tried this every day. He confessed tale after tale to make the freshman laugh and smile only to be told by Ohtori that the freshman had no exes. Ohtori stubbornly insisted he had no stories of his own. It was hard for Taki to not let on that he knew different and painful to listen to the lies. It was disturbing listening to the freshman still talk about his best friend as if they were only friends--but even more worrying was Ohtori talked about his best friend as if the guy was still alive.
He never even used the past tense when speaking about him. It was beyond creepy to say the least. It couldn't be healthy. In fact, it alarmed Taki so much that he was afraid to talk about it with his therapist because the therapist worked for Hyoutei medical. If the therapist became concerned about it from what Taki told her and decided Ohtori needed an intervention or something, Taki was seriously scared it might eventually make problems for Ohtori.
One night, desperate and determined to make a breakthrough, Taki even went to the trouble of getting Ohtori drunk to get him to open up and talk (and maybe confess). He was surprised the freshman was such a lightweight--and so heavy. A few shots and Ohtori wound up passed out snoring loudly on the couch. Unfortunately, no matter how he hefted and pulled, Taki couldn't budge the big freshman.
And even worse, Taki got no answers from him. All that work with no results was getting to Taki. He went to change for bed totally annoyed and completely disheartened.
Once in their room though, he missed the shy freshman almost painfully. Taki missed his warmth, his smell, his smile, his laugh...hell, he even missed the freshman's snoring. Taki wondered if he would even be able to sleep without the sound of the freshman sawing away near him. He wondered if he should try to fit on the couch cuddled up with Ohtori because at least then he could be close to him. Then at least for a little while Taki could feel how it would be to have Ohtori's arms wrapped warm and strong around him.
But what if Ohtori woke up? Or even worse, what if Shishido caught them together? Debating what to do with himself, Taki threw his clothes on the floor and changed into his pajamas muttering to himself. He wondered yet again when this was going to end and at least some positive change would happen.
Okay, he decided to not give up. One more try. He was never a quitter. When he was dressed, Taki walked determined over to the couch, covered Ohtori with a blanket, and...completely chickened out.
His heart was pounding so hard, he almost gave himself a panic attack. Taki walked back to their room so if the freshman did wake up, he wouldn't see Taki freaking out and looking stupid.
Completely disappointed, Taki went to their room and threw himself onto his bed. Some days, he just wanted a hug. Taki already resigned himself to taking everything slowly because this was the freshman's first time, but just a hug and maybe a kiss would really help him to hang in there. All he really needed once in a while was for someone to put their arms around him and say it was okay. Once in a while it would be nice if someone really cared for Taki and held him close. It would mean the world to him if someone holding him close would just now and again tell him everything would be all right. He cried a few hot, lonely tears thinking this sort of dark stuff to get it out of his system. That way even if it was the alcohol that made the tears start, any lingering sadness or darkness wouldn't stick around the next few days and bring him down.
Taki learned in therapy to try to let his feelings out instead of ignoring them. If he ignored his feelings or tried to push them aside they would creep up on him with really bad results. If he let things sneak up on him before he knew it, he would be so upset and frustrated and depressed he wouldn't have the energy to get out of bed or the strength to want to play a match. Now that he didn't have idiot Gakuto to rely on for a friend, Taki was trying to take care of himself while taking care of Ohtori full-time. It was exhausting and Taki needed to be cautious because if he fell into that dark pit of sadness or if he lost his spot on the regulars, the results would be unthinkably catastrophic for both of them.
Thinking it was good to at least go to bed early even if his plan to drink didn't get him anywhere, Taki tried to go to sleep without the freshman in their room. And without taking a sleeping pill.
He couldn't sleep.
His mind was too full of worries and possibilities. He tossed and turned, unable to rest.
After a while of rolling around, Taki had to admit to himself he missed the freshman too much to sleep without him near. What if Ohtori started crying in his sleep again and was all alone? What if Ohtori said something important in his sleep this time? Taki's mind filled with new ways to try to get Ohtori to talk and crazy scenarios.
He wondered if he kissed the freshman a little earlier while they were drunk and having fun if the freshman would have kissed back? Or maybe finally confess?
Taki had a wicked thought of helping the freshman back to his bed and stripping them both naked. Maybe in the morning he could tell Ohtori they had sex while they were drunk and see what the freshman did. Then Ohtori would be forced to deal with everything instead of living in this horrible depressing denial he seemed to be stuck in.
On second thought, that might turn out badly even for a fantasy. Taki didn't want the freshman to think he was a slut like Gakuto or to be so freaked out that he shut down.
Sometimes Ohtori did that when you tried to confront him. It was cute, the way Ohtori would become all flustered to where he couldn't even talk. Taki was pretty sure only he (and maybe Atobe) ever noticed. To Taki it was really kind of adorable when Ohtori got all tongue-tied, but for the freshman it was a nightmare. Ohtori became completely stressed out. The freshman would almost go into a panic attack (Taki knew those well because he used to have those horrible things before he got on his meds) and shut down to the point where Ohtori ended up standing there just kind of big and stupid.
Ohtori when he was in that shut down moment sort of looked lost like Oshitari whenever slutty Gakuto would talk graphically about his sexcapades (and when didn't the slut go on and on about sex?) or whenever Gakuto would walk into practice wearing a pair of his infamous too-tight shorts that hugged his ass so close he might as well not be wearing anything. The tensai would just stand there and look uncomfortable and weird as if he was unsure what to say or do (probably because he wanted to throw up in his mouth when the slut bragged just like everyone else).
Oshitari would blush and become all gawky as if he didn't have a clue how to handle someone being overtly sexual. It was as if it somehow fascinated, or tempted him. After a while of standing there, the tensai would first blush more as if he had dirty thoughts, and then look disheveled like he was getting a hard-on in front of everyone and had to cover it up. Eventually Oshitari would make some sort of lame joke or pun no one laughed at but it was like his brain was frantically trying to get him to say anything so he said the first thing that popped into his head. Which was never a good idea for him.
It was a daily disaster and so predictable an occurrence that most of the time no one watched except to see if idiot Gakuto had an unusually funny or usual violent reaction. Oshitari would only look normal again when slut Gakuto verbally or physically bashed him for his lame joke or for interrupting the slut's latest graphic sex tale. Taki would always think thank you tensai for saving the rest of us and the tensai and the slut would end up running their regular punishment laps together.
Although the one time where the tensai and slut Gakuto were going to play doubles together against Jiroh and Kashiwa was funny. Funny enough that people still talked about it. It was while Taki was still dating that bastard Sato and just before he and stupid Gakuto stopped being friends. Idiot Gakuto pranced onto the court like he was hot stuff as usual. He stopped a short distance in front of a very awkward-looking Oshitari.
It was almost like the little bastard knew the tensai was ogling him and why he was staring but didn't care. Or maybe it just turned the slut on to be gaped at. Anyway, slut Gakuto bent into position waiting for Jiroh to serve, and the tensai cleared his throat as if to get stupid Gakuto's attention. Gakuto ignored him and Jiroh was too busy yawning to serve right away. In the interim, Oshitari casually asked slut Gakuto if he was using a very expensive face cream on his tight little ass because it looked to the tensai like he didn't have a single wrinkle...not even around his pucker.
Before Gakuto's jaw closed from shock the little slut hurled himself high into the air, flipped, and came down somehow with his feet smashing into Oshitari's face. Oshitari's glasses shattered spectacularly as Gakuto cast himself off by launching himself back up with his feet pushing off of Oshitari's face. Gakuto soared back into the air and did one more flip before he landed solidly and perfectly just as blood began to gush from the tensai's face. Most of it seemed to be pouring out from one ruined eye and the tensai's racket hit the ground with a clatter that could be heard so clearly because everything around had suddenly gone silent.
As Oshitari bled all over and gawked at Gakuto as if in shock or stupefied wonder out what looked like his only still working eye, Gakuto grinned. First he beamed a huge smile right at the tensai and then he turned towards everyone else frozen there watching.
Seeming very pleased with himself, Gakuto confidently put his hands on his hips. He announced in his too-loud voice that thatwas his new move and he was calling it, The Moon Salute.
People gasped in awe and fear. A few people clapped a few times before falling silent. A few others covered their mouths in horror. Everyone by this point was stunned. Atobe and a few others ran to Oshitari. Some were wondering out loud if the tensai lost an eye or while others were asking each other what in the hell Oshitari stupidly did now to encounter Gakuto's wrath.
As what the tensai said was whispered from person to person like a virus, each person started laughing so hard the entire team ended up all having to run laps--which of course was all stupid, slutty Gakuto's fault.
And Oshitari? The tensai ended up needing several stitches in his eyebrow, scans, tests, and x-rays to make sure nothing was broken, and had a nasty swollen black eye for weeks. The tensai stood there after it happened blood pouring off of him...and he smiled over at Gakuto. Oshitari grinning like a fool with all that blood flowing down his face was decidedly the stuff of nightmares.
And legend.
In the lower ranks of the tennis club, no one ever again dared to challenge Gakuto or Oshitari. They were all too afraid of either of them. The incident was still discussed and talked about. Taki knew this from Ohtori that all the freshmen heard what happened, but no one dared to talk about it. They were especially careful to not mention it around Gakuto--because everyone worried that they could be next, and it was never ever talked about around the tensai--because everyone agreed who knows what the hell the guy was even thinking.
But when Ohtori shut down, it was much worse and not even a swift kick in the head from Gakuto was going to fix it. Right after standing there awkwardly and looking unable to speak, the freshman would act crazy. If Ohtori was going to have a real panic attack or get himself so keyed up, it would happen right after the freshman shut down. Ohtori would work himself into a frenzy about looking stupid to the point where he would almost not be able to catch his breath. He would stutter his words and ask Taki who saw him. Anyone seeing Ohtori shut down or stammer his words could make the freshman more upset, but if Atobe or Shishido in particular saw him, Ohtori would panic.
Taki would try to cover for Ohtori in those shut down moments. He would make a joke or say something to make slut Gakuto yell at him (and now it took no more than Taki looking at the slut to get Gakuto to be a total bastard to Taki) and then as soon as it was over and everyone else had left, Taki would race to be by the freshman's side.
He would try to keep Ohtori calm and reassure him no one noticed or if anyone did that it wasn't a big deal. Even if Shishido and Atobe both saw, Taki always told Ohtori it didn't matter. After all, Atobe knew each person's personality and flaws better than they often did themselves, and as far as Shishido went, Taki told Ohtori time and time again he was completely irrelevant. Taki told Ohtori the honest truth about his big brother. Shishido didn't care at all about Ohtori or what he did, or said, or thought. Really. Shishido only cared about himself (and maybe Atobe but even that was doubtful).
One of the most heartbreaking things while watching the freshman struggle through everything was Taki could see where Ohtori needed to be and how Taki could help the freshman to get there. The freshman's serve even when he was stressed was solid and his playing was consistently good. If Ohtori just had a little inner confidence and security in himself--something Taki as his boyfriend could give him--then the freshman would really shine. But whoever said getting there was half the fun was dead wrong. This was not fun. It was a serious daily grind for Taki to keep both himself and Ohtori upbeat and at their best all the time.
With an annoyed sigh, Taki tossed off his covers. He silently went back into their common area living room with his heart pounding again, and on impulse, put his lips on Ohtori's. This was not how Taki pictured their first kiss but oh, after wanting to touch those lips...oh the feel of them...so warm and soft...it was so nice. It was nice enough and he was tipsy and frustrated enough that Taki considered really kissing him. Maybe even taking it further. He thought about masturbating right then and there to get it out of his system. He thought about his earlier crazy idea of stripping them both down and telling Ohtori in the morning the freshman had his way with him. Then Taki thought about maybe really seeing if Ohtori was up for anything. Maybe he could make Ohtori feel good. He even considered touching Ohtori. Maybe if he could please him even though the freshman was drunk and out of it...
Taki stood up, completely hard and horrified at himself.
He wasn't that kind of person. Not even after drinking as much as he did.
So what in the hell was he doing? What was he thinking? Taki instantly felt guilty even though nothing really happened and suddenly he looked over to Shishido's room. He didn't know why because it wasn't like Shishido would care, but Taki felt as if someone was watching him. Watching them.
He noticed in surprise that Shishido's door was open slightly. Taki could have sworn that it was shut when he came out of his room to see Ohtori. He wondered if Shishido saw anything. He also wondered if he had touched Ohtori if Shishido would have stopped him? Or watched? Or cared?
Probably not, but still. Feeling guilty even though nothing more than a light kiss happened, Taki went back into their room. He stood there with his heart pounding and his erection throbbing and couldn't figure out what the hell to do. He willed himself to not get stressed or panic. Taki closed his eyes and relaxed his entire body. He took sixty deep, calming breaths. Deeply in through his nose and slowly out through his mouth. Expand your diaphragm and then your lungs. He counted each breath and repeated silently to himself, Everything is going to be all right, after every one.
Feeling more calm and balanced, he opened his eyes. Taki decided to go back outside to try help Ohtori into his own bed. The freshman would sleep better there. Taki went to Ohtori, shook him, and whispered to wake up. Taki tried to help him up and as he struggled to pull him up to standing, Ohtori slid his arms around Taki pulling him close. Oh. That was nice.
But then Ohtori murmured softly, in a loving little sigh with his arms around Taki, "Shishido-san...."
Taki almost dropped the freshman in surprise and anger. He even thought of slapping him awake so he saw that Shishido was not here. He was back in his own room where he didn't care at all about Ohtori or anyone else but himself. Instead again, unable to resist, Taki kissed Ohtori possessively pressing his mouth against the freshman's lips.
He nearly howled in frustration when Ohtori drunk and half-passed out pushed him away saying, "No. Don't Taki. Stop it." Without warning, the freshman shoved Taki away so suddenly and so hard he stumbled back. Ohtori must have used all of his strength it seemed and Taki ended up falling smack down to the floor. He landed with a cracking thud knocked halfway across the room sitting on his backside.
Ohtori must have fallen back to the sofa. He half-opened his eyes, looked at Taki almost accusingly before flopping over on the couch and completely turning away. He murmured a quiet but distinct, "Leave me alone."
It hurt. Physically hurt sure, but emotionally it hurt so bad for a moment, Taki wondered if what Ohtori said or the floor was responsible for knocking the air out of him.
After a moment of dark pain, Taki took in a shuddering and painful breath to try to calm himself again, but it came out in a burst of hot tears. The tears continued to fall as Taki struggled to stand. He ached. His backside hurt incredibly bad.
He thanked the gods that no bones seemed to be broken and that all he was in was really bad pain. Pain that was almost worse than after Sato and his bastard friends...but Taki quickly dismissed any thoughts of anything regarding that.
Taki was not going there. He'd once wished Sato would painfully drop dead altogether but now his anger had cooled to just loathing--as long as he didn't think about what that bastard had done or what he had taken from Taki, he could live with it okay enough. He dismissed the thoughts about that bastard hurting him, but not soon enough. Just thinking the name Sato blackened his already bad mood.
Taki decided to take a half of a sleeping pill before he went to bed. Half should be fine this long after drinking because some really bad nights when sober, Taki took two.
Half of one shouldn't hurt, right?
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Learning to Play by Suteishichic