Friends With Benefits

Friends With Benefits


“It's all your fault!” J.J. complained bitterly and began pacing the length and width of the small elevator cabin.

Drake blinked, surprised and even slightly irritated after ten minutes of being yelled at by his enthusiastic but usually rather level tempered partner. “What?! How is it my fault that there's been a power breakdown and we've been stuck in this elevator because of it?”

“I wanted to walk down the stairs – but you insisted on taking the elevator,” J.J. groused and pointed an accusing finger at his partner without stopping his restless steps.

“I don't remember forcing you into the elevator at gun's point,” Drake murmured. He sighed in frustration and ran a hand through his already messed up hair – these small gestures were the only signs of his growing unease. “Anyway, it can't be helped now. The operator said it wouldn't take too long until they'd get us out of here. So, would you please calm down, J.J.?”

J.J. watched in disbelief as Drake sat on the floor without further ado, seemingly as calm as ever – even his face soon showed the relaxed expression that many mistook for a sign of boredom. J.J. huffed, annoyed at his partner's seemingly inexhaustible patience. “How can you be so calm, Drake?”

“Why are you so revved up, J.J.?” Drake retorted, not calm at all.

“I'm not revved up. I'm just – well, I've got an appointment tonight, okay?” J.J. crossed his arms over his chest in an oddly defiant gesture that Drake hadn't seen with his partner ever before.

“An appointment?” Drake asked curiously and smiled broadly, his curiosity suddenly peaked. “You mean – you have a date? Hey, that's –” His grin vanished and he stopped his congratulation in mid-sentence when he saw J.J.'s shocked face. “I've got the feeling that I'm missing something important here. Care to enlighten me, partner?”

J.J. stopped his pacing and turned his back on Drake. “There is nothing to explain, Drake. And – it's just an appointment, nothing more. And it's definitely not a date.”

Drake frowned and was silent for some moments, before he ordered quietly, “Come on, J.J., just sit down. You're wearing a groove into the cabin's floor with your pacing and you're starting to make me nervous as well. I don't think either will get us out of here any sooner.” He patted the floor beside him invitingly.

J.J. hesitated and watched his partner warily. When he finally sat down beside Drake, J.J. heaved a tired sounding sigh.

“What kind of appointment do you have that makes you so very nervous?” Drake tried to get J.J. talking to him.

“It's none of your business, Drake, so stop being so damn nosey!” J.J. bit out.

Whoa. “J.J. – I'm hardly the most perceptive and considerate guy in the world, but I can't shake the feeling that there's something that's truly troubling you.”

J.J. exhaled on a huff, and Drake looked at his partner to see what the reason for that might be, but J.J. avoided looking at him; he didn't raise his eyes from a point on the opposite wall. “You're such a worrywart, Drake – but –” J.J. trailed off and began once more. “Listen, I'm sorry, Drake. I didn't mean to lash out at you like this. It's just – well, this appointment tonight is very important to me. I've planned it for quite some time now and I don't want to ruin it. But now I probably won't even be able to be there.” He sighed again, a soft and very sad sound.

“Hey, stop being so negative, J.J.!” Drake tried to cheer his partner up and gave him an encouraging nudge with his elbow. “They said they'd have us out of here in no time flat – no more than half an hour at the most. You'd be able to make it, then, wouldn't you?”

“Maybe,” was all that J.J. offered as an answer.

Again it was up to Drake to keep the conversation going. “This appointment really has to be very important to you.” He gave J.J. the chance to interrupt him with an explanation of his own, but J.J. kept his silence and wasn't even looking at Drake. Therefore, Drake continued to bait his partner for a reaction. “At least, I've a hint now as to why you've been so very nervous – almost skittish – these days.”

That, apparently, got J.J.'s attention and he looked up and straight at Drake. “I'm not skittish!” he protested hotly.

Drake smiled. “Oh, yes, you are – at least you were this morning. When I tapped you on the shoulder you almost jumped out of your skin. You looked as if I'd given you a heart attack. You had me truly fearing for the worst for a moment when you almost gave out on me, all pale and being in a cold sweat for minutes after.”

“You surprised me, that's all,” J.J. said, a little miffed.

“I was standing right in front of you and was talking to you, J.J. – my touching you on the shoulder could hardly have come as such a big surprise to you.”

“But it did surprise me,” J.J. murmured defensively.

“If you say so,” Drake said in a non-committal way. “But –” He hesitated and searched for the right words. “I'm not blind, J.J. Something is bothering you, and I – well, if you need help or advice or anything –” Drake interrupted himself again and cleared his throat nervously. “Anyway, you know what I mean, don't you?” he asked hopefully.

“Thank you, Drake,” J.J. simply said, smiling slightly. “But I doubt that there's anything you could do to help me right now.”

Drake gritted his teeth and nodded thoughtfully. “But maybe – you would be calmer if you talked about what's so obviously bugging you?” he offered as quietly as he could.

“You're just curious, Drake,” J.J. accused his partner, though he was still smiling as he said these words.

“You got me. Right in one, J.J.,” Drake said, admitting defeat with a smile.

“You're not that hard to read, Drake.”

“Probably.” Drake grinned sheepishly. “Anyway, my offer still stands,” he repeated.

But J.J.'s smile vanished from his face in a split second, and to Drake he suddenly looked very tired. Before Drake could ask any more questions, J.J. drew up his knees against his chest and hid his face in his folded arms. Drake clenched his hand to keep from reaching out and ruffle J.J.'s hair in a comforting gesture.

“I'm sorry if I have nagged too much,” Drake shrugged his shoulders apologetically. Making himself more comfortable, he stretched his legs in front of him and crossed his ankles.

“I can keep a secret, you know?” Drake said abruptly after some more minutes of silence. He really tried to make his voice sound as casually as he could.

J.J. laughed despite himself. “I know that – but –” He trailed off.

“What?”

“If I tell you about the nature of my appointment, you most certainly are going to feel very uncomfortable before long,” J.J. warned.

“Try me,” Drake challenged his partner with a grin, but J.J. wasn't even looking at him.

J.J. frowned and took a deep breath. “As you wish, Drake. So – the appointment tonight – you were right with your first guess, Drake, it is a date of sorts.”

Drake grinned triumphantly. “I knew it! But –” He interrupted himself, and his smile faded. “You don't seem happy about it?” he ventured quietly, his voice full of concern for his partner.

“I am not happy about it,” J.J. confessed slowly.

“I don't get it. Why not?”

“It's a bit awkward, Drake.”

Drake snorted. “No shit, Sherlock.”

“Drake!” J.J. said, and his tone of voice was an odd mixture of warning and teasing that made Drake's skin crawl.

“Okay, already.” Drake made a gesture as if to zip up his mouth.

J.J. frowned at him uncertainly before he continued nevertheless. “It's all got to do with Dee – and before you comment on this, please, let me explain. Remember – you started this and wanted me to tell you. Now you have to let me do it – my way.”

“I wasn't about to say anything!” Drake protested rashly, obviously lying through his teeth.

J.J. raised an eyebrow at him, indicating that he'd seen right through this lie. “Anyway, I've been in love with Dee for so long I can't even remember a time when I wasn't.”

Drake laughed. “Oh, come on, J.J., you're not that old!”

“But ten years is a very long time, Drake, and in those years there was only Dee for me,” J.J. continued without letting himself be distracted. “He was the only one on my mind and in my heart. There was no space left for anyone else. He was the only one I wanted to hold in my arms or kiss – and do so much more with.” Drake's discreet cough stopped J.J. short, and he understood his partner's not so very subtle hint not to go into any more detail. “Anyway, as you know, I decided to – um, kind of wean myself from my love, which was probably more of an obsession than anything else. I am aware of that – and yet –” J.J. trailed off and stared at the checkered pattern on the floor.

Drake coughed and scratched the back of his neck. “I won't pretend to understand such notion – you wouldn't believe me anyway, would you?” A slight frown was J.J.'s only answer. “Well, but I do understand why you would be nervous after so much time without – you know –” Drake blushed coughed again, feeling decidedly uneasy by now.

“That's not all the reason why I'm nervous,” J.J. admitted unusually shyly.

“What else is there?” Drake asked softly.

J.J. looked straight at Drake again, who felt as if his partner's gaze was reaching right into his very soul. Drake swallowed and held his breath without realizing that he did it. “I – I've never slept with anyone,” J.J. said finally, his gaze still locked with Drake's. “And I've decided to change that eventually.”

Drake was speechless. He didn't quite know what he expected, but certainly not some revelation like this. Given J.J.'s behavior – especially towards Dee – Drake had always thought that his partner was rather experienced in the ways of love, and that included sex as well. “You're kidding, me, right, J.J.?”

J.J. turned his head away and closed his eyes. “Dee was my first and only love,” he said quietly as if that explained everything.

Drake cleared his throat tensely and immediately knew that he would regret what he was about to say now. “Didn't you – well, have anyone you – um, were intimate with? If only for the sake of just doing it?”

J.J. shook his head and hid his blushing face in his hands.

“Let me see if I understand what you just told me,” Drake said with a frown. “You've never done it with anyone and have been in love with Dee for ten years straight. And now you want to lose your – um, virginity so very desperately that you hired a callboy to sleep with you.”

“That's about it, yeah.” J.J. looked at Drake again.

“I can honestly say that I've never heard something as remotely as stupid as that in all my life.”

J.J.'s eyes widened. “Haven't you ever been in love, Drake?”

“That's not the point, J.J.,” Drake scolded him. “I'm far from being a romantic but I don't think that you should carry on with what you planned. God, J.J., I can see how the whole matter is eating at you – not only the constant rejection by Dee but your – um, inexperience as well. But I don't think you should try to get over the one by rushing the other.”

A smile tugged at the corners of J.J.'s lips. “You definitely should cut down on the amount of talkshows you're watching, Drake. You sound like Dr. Phil.” Before Drake could defend himself, J.J. asked, “What time is it, anyway?”

Out of reflex, Drake looked at his watch. “Half past eight. Geez, we've been stuck here for more than an hour already.”

“Seems like I've no choice but to follow your advice, Drake,” J.J. said with a sigh, and Drake was almost certain that the sound wasn't a sound of regret.

“At least, think about it, J.J.,” Drake said seriously.

Before J.J. had a chance to reply, the elevator jolted slightly and continued its way downwards.


tbc