There and Back Again

BY : Amo-Chan
Category: Death Note > General
Dragon prints: 1688
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

January 21, 2004

In a maximum security psychiatric hospital, a man crouched on the floor of his cell. He’d been drawing again, the same two faces he always drew. The faces of the two most important to him. Chalky residue from the pastels smudged his own face and hands. He was almost finished, he felt he had to be. Something about today felt strange to him, off somehow. And yet, he couldn’t quite put his finger on why he felt that way. Could it have been her letter? He felt his lip curve into a half smile. No, it wasn’t her letter. Her letters only brought happiness and a small touch of regret. She was visiting again next month. She was the only visitor he was allowed. Well, her and once...he came. But, he didn’t want to think about that man, that face. There was the soft sound of footsteps in the hall. That would have been one of the doctors. The ones that were supposed to make him “sane”. He chuckled to himself. They’d stopped trying long ago with him. Telling Dr. Harvey and Dr. Kent the day of their deaths had ended those sessions.
He swept the pastel across the page one last time and sat back to admire his work. It was a poor likeness, to be sure, but he was still pleased with it. He knew she would be pleased with it as well. He knew it was wrong of him to look forward to seeing her. He knew it was wrong to allow her to visit. She thought so much of him and he didn’t really care for her at all. She knew that as well. And people think I’m crazy, he thought.
A sharp pain suddenly shot up his left arm and embedded itself into his chest. His mind ceased functioning for a moment before clarity flooded his brain. A heart attack? Kira . . . it’s about time. I wondered when you’d get to me. He curled himself around the two pieces of paper lying next to him on the floor. Hmm . . . I wonder if he’ll get you too . . . L.
Now, she would be the only one in the world with shinigami eyes.

********

November 5, 2004

Light didn’t take being called a liar too kindly, L thought. Who would, really? L stood listening to the perfectly crafted, completely expected answer. Of course Light would never say that he never lied. Everyone lied, some just more than others. And of course Light would only admit to lying if it was something that would protect his family. Everything he said was so predictable. It made L almost exhausted to hear the words. He looked away from the rambling teenager to peer into the grey sky once more. Honestly, he could barely focus on the words falling so effortlessly from Light’s lips. He was too distracted, too entranced by the sounds pounding against his skull.
Bells. Somewhere in the distance. He could hear them, practically feel the vibrations of sound through his body. Light had said he’d heard nothing. How though, how was it possible for anyone to not hear them?
He’d heard these bells before, long ago. He’d been so small, so unsure of his future, so very alone. He didn’t want to think of that moment. Thinking about that moment would solve and change nothing. He realized that Light had stopped talking so he turned his face toward him once again.
“You’re wet,” he said, and began walking back to the door. If he’d been in a better mood, he might have laughed at the look of disbelief that ran across the younger boy’s face.
He stood in the shadows, watching Light attempt to dry himself off with the small towel he’d been given. Was it even possible to look graceful doing something as mundane as that? Even after months of being attached to each other, by the chain and in other ways, L still couldn’t believe the absolute perfection that this boy had attained. It should be a sin to be that beautiful. It probably was.
As he watched the muscles in Light’s back ripple with every stroke of the towel across his hair, he came to a sure conclusion. He was watching his death. He thought he would have felt something more. Maybe it was because of the game and he was tired of playing. Maybe it was because death seemed to come in such a beautiful package. Maybe he was just exhausted from living. He didn’t know and he didn’t really care that he didn’t know.

********

Light’s breath seemed to catch in his throat. Did he really say . . . ?

“What, Ryuzaki?” It was little more than a whisper.

“I’m sure that I will miss you.”

“What does that mean?”

“I think we both already know the answer to that question, Light.”

All he could do was stare at Ryuzaki. What do you say to someone you know will be dead soon? Someone that knows that you know? He just wanted this moment over and it was lasting forever. Why did he feel like he was the one having a heart attack?
Light hadn’t noticed L moving toward him, his foot now forgotten. He hadn’t noticed L placing his hand gently on Light’s chest. The left side. Over his heart.

“Though it will stop soon, I’m glad that my heart beat for one other before I had to leave.”

No, Light thought. This wasn’t happening. He’d tried so hard to forget those months. Tried to forget that he wasn’t Kira. Tried to forget what he’d been to L, what L had been to him. Emotions were only for the weak, and he wasn’t weak. He was Kira, damn it. He was going to save this rotten world. He was going to save everyone. L... L was in the way. He had to go. Only one of them was supposed to make it out of this twisted game alive. He couldn’t think about what he felt when L pressed his lips to his. Couldn’t think about how this was it. The last time this would ever happen and he’d be stuck with Misa, of all people. He couldn’t think about how he felt when L held him tightly. He couldn’t think about how it seemed L was pulling his breath out of his body.
And then, L’s phone rang.

********

March 21, 1991

Beyond was seven when his parents died. A month after, he had been sent to Wammy House. He’d been plucked from one orphanage only to find himself in another. Sure, this one was bigger and seemed to have fewer children running around, but Beyond could never fool himself into believing it was home. Home was where his parents were and they were dead. He’d watched them die, hiding a cupboard, not making a sound. Making a sound meant he too, would die. There were times in his life he would look back on that moment and wonder if maybe he should have screamed, should have shouted. He didn’t dwell on it very much though.
After living at Wammy House for a few weeks, he’d been called into Roger’s office. He was fairly sure he hadn’t done anything that would get him into trouble. Well, nothing anyone could prove at least. He’d been surprised to find not only Roger waiting for him, but another man as well. He said his name was Watari, but Beyond knew he was lying. Everyone here except Roger lied about their names. Everyone. He saw that not only did this man have a name more ridiculous than his own, but that his last name was Wammy. Beyond quickly came to the conclusion that this man must be who owned the orphanage.

“What’s going on, Roger?”

“Well, young man, during the time you’ve been here, it’s been brought to our attention that you are a very special little boy.”

“Our?”

Watari smiled warmly at him. He hated when people smiled at him.

“Yes,” Watari said. “Mine and Roger’s. We’ve been watching you for a time now. You’re a very smart child. And we’d like to put you into a special program. Just for you and maybe a few others, should we find any worthy.”

Beyond pressed a thumb thoughtfully to his lips. He knew he shouldn’t suck his thumb. It always made his mother angry. He hated making her angry. But, she was dead, wasn’t she. So, it didn’t really matter anymore, did it?

“What sort of program?”

Watari’s smile grew larger.

“Have you ever heard of L?”

“The detective? Of course I have. He found the man that took my parents from me.”

“How would you like the chance to perhaps one day...become him?”

Beyond couldn’t help the look of surprise that crossed his features. Become L? How does one become anyone other than themselves? And, if this were possible, what sort of person was L? What if L was someone that he’d rather not be?

“If I were to become L, I’d want to know what he was like. I may hate him. I don’t want to become someone I hate.”

Watari chuckled softly. It seemed he had expected this sort of answer. He was very pleased. It seemed that perhaps this boy would do after all.

********

November 5, 2004

“Please, don’t answer that phone.”

L paused. He hadn’t expected Light to say anything. Not when it was so painfully obvious both of them knew what was going to happen today.

“And why shouldn’t I?”

For once in his life, Light was at a loss for words. He couldn’t say ‘please don’t because I’m Kira and if you answer it I think something bad will happen.’ It just didn’t work like that. Life didn’t work that way. You couldn’t just randomly confess your sins and expect to be forgiven. His mind was racing, but none of his thoughts made any sense. God, if only that phone would stop ringing! He felt as though everything was moving in slow motion. He watched L open his cell phone and begin to speak softly into it. Light did the only thing he could think in that moment to do. He leaned forward and held on to the still damp denim of L’s jeans. And then words, horrible words, left his throat, barely a whisper.

“The thirteen day rule is false.”

The silence was deafening. Light felt it thundering in his ears. He felt L speaking into the phone, but he couldn’t hear him. Nothing but small vibrations bouncing off of the wall and back toward his head. He just listened to the roaring and the pounding and stared at the left bare foot of the one standing above him.

L thought for one fragment of a second he hadn’t heard correctly. But, he knew he had. He almost wanted to un-hear it, if such a thing were possible. Light might as well have blurted out to the heavens that he was Kira. Knowing about a false rule in that notebook was just as much of a confession. For the first and only time in his life, L didn’t want to be right. He hated that he was right. He’d always known, always felt it to be true, but he didn’t want to anymore. He looked down at the boy clutching at his leg. He looked almost broken. L had only seen one other person appear so defeated. He’d never wanted to...no, not now. ‘Focus on Light. Focus on this moment. Don’t let this end the way the other did’, he thought to himself.

“Watari, there’s been a change.”

He saw Light tilt his head to look up at him. Confusion, not something he’d wager anyone else had ever seen on Light’s face.

“Yes. Send them home....Yes, I know they won’t want to. When have a cared?...I don’t care HOW you do it...Yes, all of them...I understand...yes, thank you.”

“Before anything else is said,” L mumbled toward the floor, “I think I should make it known that not only is Watari angry with me at this moment, but very soon your father will be as well.”

Light blinked. This is not what he’d thought would happen. He figured he’d be either locked up swiftly or possibly knocked unconscious. He’d practically given his own head to L on a platter. What the hell was going on?

“Now, start talking.”

“What do you want to know?”

“Everything. And, if anything is forgivable, I may be able to find a way to get you out of whatever you’ve gotten into.”

********

August 16, 1996

He’d been trying to become L for five years. He still wasn’t sure if L was someone that was worth becoming. He’d yet to meet L in person, although he had spoken to him on the phone and once through a computer screen. He’d stared at the large gothic font and thought it was the most pretentious thing he’d ever seen. Although, he’d had to admit, it was very effective at inspiring awe. Wammy, no...Watari had told him a small amount about L. He knew he was only a few years older, two or three at the most. Watari had been vague. He was even more vague when it came to L’s appearance and personality. Beyond knew that they looked somewhat similar and he couldn’t help but feel bad for L on that point. Beyond never saw anything attractive in his own visage and felt that it must be a double curse to know that some poor soul out there shared it.
Watari had said L was shy, almost painfully so. Beyond thought that was probably a good thing. Since people couldn’t see L, as it was a risk to his own life, than what better excuse then shyness? Beyond though, was not shy. People didn’t scare or intimidate him. Rather, they were usually scared and intimidated by him. He didn’t mean to, truly. But, he supposed he was a rather strange and unusual person.
Beyond had been told one other thing about L. It seemed he had a bit of a sweet tooth. That, he could identify with completely. Sweet things were lovely and heavenly. His personal favorite was strawberry jam. Really, anything with strawberries or a strawberry flavour to it could make him happy.

He’d been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t heard the soft tapping at his door. He quickly shook himself from his reverie and set his drawing pastels to the side before answering the door.
It was Watari, a warm and inviting presence as always.

“B, I wonder if I might ask a favour of you?”

Beyond became instantly suspicious. The last favour he’d been asked was one that involved a long trek on foot to town. It seemed the great L was also a bit of cranky teenager, and had run out of a favorite sweet.

“It would really depend what it was, wouldn’t it?”

“Oh, it’s nothing too strenuous, I assure you.”

“What is it then?”

“It seems we have a new person to be enrolled in the program. I was wondering if you would show her about? She seems a good sort.”

Another one? That couldn’t be right. A had been in the program for as long as he had. Five years, and not one other child could be found within the orphanage of their mental caliber. Beyond had begun to think it was impossible for another one to exist. It had just been L and B and A. No one else. He had to admit, he was curious.

“Where is she? What is her name?” He knew he didn’t really have to ask her name. But, he also knew it made others uncomfortable if he didn’t ask the normal questions.

“She’s in the foyer. And you know better than to ask her name. We’ll just be calling her C.”

“You guys have no imagination when it comes to names, you know that?”

He’d watched her for a moment before saying hello. She had seemed scared and he knew his appearance wouldn’t make her feel any better. She sat huddled between two very large trunks. Her hair was black, like his, and for some reason that made him happy. He decided he’d stared long enough and tapped her shoulder, making her jump a bit.

“I’m B, and they told me you are C. I’m the one who’s to show you to your roo...” He stopped. He’d flicked his eyes upward out of habit to see what her real name was. Nothing special, Alta, an old name, Latin in origin. . But, what made him stop was the complete absence of numbers below.
He looked back to her face, mouth agape, only to see the expression mirrored back at him.
“Where are your numbers?” she asked him.

“I was about to ask the same.”

“No,” she said. “It’s not possible. No one else can see.”

“I don’t believe this.” He bent forward and whispered into her ear. “What is my name?” he asked her.

“Beyond.”

He whispered hers back then stood up. He stood for what felt like a very long time, just watching her.
What he didn’t know was that someone else was watching them too.

********

November 5, 2004

“He was bored?”

L couldn’t keep the absolute disbelief from his voice. A bored shinigami had started all of this? A bored teenager with a skewed sense of justice had found a notebook, a notebook he’d believed to be a prank, and had gone on a killing spree to rival all others. All of this because a shinigami, one Ryuk, had randomly tossed a book into this world hoping for some entertainment. The idea that this case, this manhunt, this complex game had all been born of some supernatural being’s boredom was almost incomprehensible to L. Almost.
He’d long ago sat back upon the steps as Light had told him the hows and whys and whats of becoming Kira. He’d watched as Light and Kira fought within the boy, clinging to a damp towel as though it were a lifeline of sorts. It was strange. L had never truly seen good and evil fighting each other in one person. But, Light was trying so hard to win. Trying so hard to push the murderous Kira out of his mind. L couldn’t help but feel a small amount of sympathy for the boy. Would he have done any different, he wondered. Would he have simply handed the book back, declaring it a tool of evil? Or would he have done the same, attempting to use the unearthly thing for some good? L was glad he would never really have to answer those questions. What he had to deal with though, was quite possibly much more important. Could he forgive? Should he?

“I...I thought I was right L. I still do. But, I don’t know if...if it’s truly myself or Kira that thinks it.” Light hesitantly looked L in the eyes. L could still only see Kira. Light wasn’t there...not yet.

“All I’m sure of at this point is I don’t want you to die.”

“I’m not a fan of that idea either.” L looked away and stared into the distance. This was turning out to be more complicated than he’d originally thought. He’d just assumed that this would be a black and white situation. But, this was full of shades of grey. He really hated grey. He also hated how selfish it would be of him to try and save this boy, this child really. People around the world were expecting justice to be carried out. Kira arrested, tried and executed was what the world wanted. He was justice. It was his job to see this through. But, try as he might, he didn’t think that living on while Light did not was justice.

“We need to find Rem. Whatever must be done will have to meet her approval, correct?”

“Yes,” Light whispered. “She’ll kill you if it doesn’t.”

“Why does she seem to have so much more at stake in this?”

“She cares about Misa. I’d even go so far as saying she loves her.”

“Well, at least someone does.”

And for the first time in a long while, L saw a small smile appear on Light’s lips. A very true, shy sort of smile. For some reason, it gave L a sense of relief that even now, Light could break the surface of the mask he wore as Kira.

“L, it isn’t going to be easy. Misa has to be happy. That seems to be Rem’s main priority. And that girl has convinced herself that she can’t be happy unless I’m with her. But, if I’m to be arrested and locked up...”

“I understand. I believe I have found a way to keep everyone out of harms way. At least for a time. My concern here is the bored shinigami. He’s going to be a problem. But, first, I deal with the lovesick one.”

*******

April 2, 1997

“I met L.”

The simple sentence made him pause. He looked from his drawing to the tall teen girl in his doorway.

“What did you say?”

She closed the door softly behind her and made her way across the paper and pieces of chalk on the floor to sit in the chair by his desk.

“I met L. I saw him.”

Red flooded his vision. She had seen L? It was inconceivable! No one saw L! Not even he had, and he’d been here for so many years now. How was it that this girl, this stupid, stupid GIRL had seen him?

“I don’t believe you,” he growled..

“I don’t care if you believe me. I saw him. It’s a fact. I was upstairs, by the attic...”

“We’re not allowed there.”

“I know that. But, I thought I saw you. When I called out to you, he turned around and told me I was mistaken. And when I saw his name...I knew.”

“You saw his name.” So, it was a mere accident, this meeting. She hadn’t REALLY met him. She’d been in the areas of Wammy House that were forbidden and been caught. By L of all people. She was going to be in so much trouble. He smiled gleefully at the thought. It wasn’t that he hated her. Far from it. He found her pleasant and actually quite nice to be around. God only knew why she’d want to befriend him though. He figured it must be because of their shared secret.

“He doesn’t have a long life span. It’s sad really. I wonder how...”

“Don’t think about that stuff. Thinking about it never changes it.”

She grew quiet. She knew it never changed. She just wished she didn’t have to be the one to see it.

“Wait,” he said, “You said you thought he was me?”

“Oh, yeah. He looks a lot like you. A bit taller maybe. But, he’s older than we are, isn’t he?”

“How much like me?” Beyond had always wondered how alike the two of them actually were. Now, he would finally know. Maybe her bumping into L would be a good thing. He could almost forgive her. Maybe he’d even try to keep her from getting in trouble.

“Well, you both have crazy hair. I didn’t think it was possible for anyone else to have hair as unruly as you do. You’re eyes are shaped the same, but his...if black was an eye colour, I’d say his were black. But, I think they’re actually more grey-blue. Yours are brown. And he looks like he hardly sleeps. He’s got bags under his eyes. But, your faces...I doubt anyone could tell you apart if you were in the same room. The only way I knew was because I saw his name.”

“What was it?”

She snorted. “You’re not going to believe this..”


“Why?”

“His name IS L. The poor kid has been walking around his whole life with a letter as his first name.”

“Well, no wonder we only get letters too. Maybe it makes him feel better about having a crappy first name.”

“His last name is pretty though. Lawliet. I like it. Makes me wish I had a pet. I would name it that.”

“You’re weird.”

“I know. You tell me all the time. Hey, do you think I’m going to get in trouble?”

Beyond picked up his pastel and moved it slowly across the page. After a few well placed strokes of colour he looked back at her.

“Oh yeah. Without a doubt.”

********

November 5, 2004

Light had been astonished at how quickly the bone shinigami agreed to L’s plan. On second thought, maybe he wasn’t. Since part of the deal was to keep the two Kiras left in the world as far from each other as possible, it made sense for Rem to agree. He knew the shinigami had never liked him. He’d even venture so far as to say she hated him. But, that was fine with him. He didn’t have much love for any shinigami at this point, not that he’d had any to begin with. What he was truly worried about was the next step. Misa agreeing wouldn’t be a problem. He and L both knew she would do whatever Light asked of her. It was Ryuk that could be the thorn in his side. He had told L that Ryuk had once said he would be the one to write his name in the notebook. If Ryuk decided that now was as good a time as any to make good on his promise, then it was game over. In a very literal sense.
L was most certainly in ‘problem solving detective’ mode. Light still wasn’t sure if he was entirely comfortable with the whole situation. The chain had been securely fastened around his wrist once they had exited the elevator down to the main room. Light hadn’t been surprised. He’d actually felt a bit of nostalgia at the clicking sound of the handcuff. Kira, on the other hand, had screamed in rage. A thought full of anger and righteous indignation kept circling within his mind. ‘You idiot!’, it shouted. ‘What the hell are you doing! You’re ruining everything! This was not the plan! You’re supposed to KILL him! We both can’t live in the same world! Only one can survive! If you don’t kill him you die!’
Over and over. It wouldn’t stop. He’d even caught himself narrowing his eyes at L. Rage and hate and pure cold blooded anger continued to pound his brain. It was exhausting. Light wouldn’t stop this fight. But, he felt every second drain his strength and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep the Kira in his head at bay.
L hated waiting. And that was really all they could do. Wait for the other notebook. Wait for that idiot Misa. Wait for that wretched shinigami. Maybe even wait for Light to die. Or himself. He still wasn’t sure if one or both of them would come out of this alive. He remembered, once, someone told him he didn’t have a lot of time. Very little, in fact. He kept his eyes glued to the monitor in front of him. He watched the entryway doors slide open and a very nervous looking Misa walked in and pressed the intercom button.

“Is he with her?”

Light looked away from the hands he’d been folding into fists and looked at the monitor.

“Yes, he’s with her.”

Misa was scared. There was no other way to describe it. She’d been so excited at first. Finally, she had thought, she was going to be able to see L’s name. Then, she would write it in her notebook and Light would be so happy. Making Light happy was all that she lived for. So, she was very surprised when she walked into the room and saw Light and L attached by handcuffs and a chain once more. But, she was completely stunned by the sentence that came from Light.

“Misa, I want you to give L the notebook.”

She had clutched her bag to her chest. What? Give L the notebook? Why did L need the notebook? And how did he know about the one she had? What the hell was going on here?

“I see you are confused, Amane. I am more than willing to explain things to you in as much detail as you need. But, before I can do so, I need to have your notebook in my hands.”

She looked at Light and he gave a slight nod. She sighed and relaxed. If it was what Light wanted her to do, she would do it. Light could feel his fingers twitching. He wanted to be the one holding the notebook. It was his, by all rights. He should be pushing a pen across the surface of its pages, judging evil doers, ridding the world of those vermin. L was flipping through some of the pages, watching Light from the corner of his eye. He closed the notebook, glanced up at the new shinigami, and began to walk toward the small box that contained Higuchi’s notebook. After he’d locked up the books, he watched Light’s whole body visibly relax. Now, onto the matter at hand.

“Shinigami?”

“Ryuk. Nice to meet you.”

“Ah, yes. Well, I’m not sure I can say the same.”

L listened as Ryuk laughed. It was quite possibly the most horrid sound he’d ever heard. He did not like this shinigami.


“Well, Ryuk,” L continued after the laughter had stopped. “We have a proposition for you. And for Amane as well. Rem has already agreed to the terms. In fact, she was quite happy with them. I am well aware that you know my name, Amane. I also know that you are the second Kira and Light is the original. At this moment, neither is my concern. My concern is seeing all of us get out of this tangled web alive.”

********

September 20, 1999

They had spent the last few years together, still trying to become L. Beyond still wasn’t entirely comfortable with the thought. He didn’t feel different, he didn’t feel like he was someone else. But, he and C and A had all been given test after test. Case after case. They’d been given more information than most adults could process, let alone three teenagers. C had taken to the program very well. To her, solving these cases was fun. Plus, to her, she’d had the added bonus of two new friends. They had all grown close. It had been strange for Beyond to finally have friends as well. He’d always been alone. He hadn’t had any siblings before, and most other children he met had treated him like a pariah. But, A and Alta had never shown anything but friendly affection and maybe even love toward him. He wasn’t sure if he liked it, but he knew he didn’t dislike it either.
He sat on his bed looking out into the courtyard. The leaves had all turned brown and fallen to the ground. Earlier, some of the smaller children had been playing in them. He heard the sound of the door swinging open and then the soft click as it closed. He didn’t look up. He didn’t have to. Only one person here ever walked into his room without knocking. He sighed. He would have thought she would learn her lesson.

“I could have been in just a towel again.”

“I know,” she sighed. “I really didn’t care.”

She just stood there. The quiet was engulfing them. He knew what she was here for. He just didn’t want to be the one to bring up the subject.

“You saw him today, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” he said. “I saw him.”

“Shouldn’t we do something? Try to stop it?”

He finally turned to look at her. He wished he hadn’t. He’d never seen her look so sad before. She looked about to cry.

“You of all people should know that there really isn’t anything to be done. We don’t know how it’s going to happen.”

What happened next would be a moment he would never forget. He’d never forget because he couldn’t remember anyone ever holding him before. He knew it must have happened. His mother maybe had held him. He just couldn’t remember. And now suddenly, here was this girl, his friend, another who could see what others couldn’t, holding him tightly and letting silent tears stain the front of his shirt.

“I hate seeing this. I don’t want to know that A is going to die. I know we all die. I just wish I didn’t have to see it happen slowly.”

He was at a loss. He tried to think what a normal person would do. A person not himself. They would probably hold her back. So, he wrapped his arm around her and began to stroke her hair. If it couldn’t comfort her, maybe it would calm her down. He realized she was whispering something, over and over, like a sort of chant. He listened closely and heard his name.

“Why are you saying my name?”

“Because I’m the only one who knows it.”

“That’s not true. Not really. Watari and Roger know. And I’m sure L knows as well.”

“Yes, he’d have to wouldn’t he?”

“Then why...?”

“Because,” She looked up at him, “it’s special to me. It’s the name of the only friend I’ll have left after tonight.”

He really didn’t know what to say. He’d been told long ago, by Watari, that he was a special boy. He hadn’t believed it. At the very least, he hadn’t felt special. But, when Alta said it, he felt it. It made his chest feel warm inside. Or maybe that was just from them sharing body heat by being so close. He didn’t care what it was from though. It was a nice thing to feel. He wanted to tell her not to worry. He wanted to tell her that everything would be alright, that he’d never leave. But, he knew they would be lies. They should worry. Everything most likely wouldn’t be alright. And he knew one day he’d leave Wammy House. Maybe he would take her with him. He wasn’t sure.

“You can stay with me tonight,” he said. “That way neither one of us has to be alone when A leaves us.”

She only nodded at him and they both lay their heads on the pillows. They both knew they had hours to wait. Beyond felt his heart thumping in his chest. He’d never sat and just waited like this for someone to die. He’d also never had someone else with him who knew it was going to happen. They just lay there, inhaling and exhaling. Her breaths were still ragged from crying. He knew this was very upsetting to her. He hadn’t realized that she felt so strongly about either of them. He wondered if she would cry when he died, or if he would even die first.
When they heard a sound like thunder echo from the halls, she had jumped and then reached for him. He felt like she was crushing all the air from his lungs. So, he’d shot himself? He’d never thought of that for some reason. He’d figured and accident maybe. Not something as deliberate as suicide. A hadn’t ever seemed the type. He heard screaming and shouts for help, but he knew that nothing could help. A was dead.

“Promise me you won’t ever do that.”

He didn’t say anything. She placed her hands on his face, his wretched face that was barely his own, her own so very close to his.

“Promise me, Beyond. If you have to leave this world, don’t choose to. I don’t think I could stand it.”

He brought his hands over hers. “I promise then.”

“Good.”

And then the second thing that he would never forget happened to him. She kissed him.

********

November 6, 2004

Rem wasn’t entirely happy. Light could tell. But, even though Misa had left headquarters in tears, she was satisfied. Misa was now memory and notebook free and in possession of only a broken heart. It could be worse, Light thought, she could be dead. Or I could. . .or L. Next was his turn. He couldn’t say he was exactly looking forward to it.

“. . .and when his memories are gone, I’ll be the official owner, correct?”

Ryuk nodded. “Yup, that’s how it goes. But, I’m attached to that notebook. Where it goes, I follow.”

“And if I also give up ownership what’s to stop you from writing mine or Light’s name?”

“Nothing. Of course, I can do that whenever I want. I have my own notebook. That one’s just extra.”

“Shinigami love apples?”

Ryuk laughed his horrid laugh. “This shinigami does.”

“Hmmmm...” L wandered about the room in thought, Light tailing behind him. “How much do you love them?”

“I’d stay in this realm forever for them. We don’t have tasty juicy ones in the Shinigami Realm.”

“So, if I could give you an orchard...?”

“I’d say that’d guarantee you a death note pass. At least from me.”

Light couldn’t believe it. One, L was practically making a deal with a devil and believing said devil. Two, it appeared that he was actually going to pull this off! Apples! Of all the things in the world. . .

“Light.”

He looked up. L was waiting for something.

“Yes?”

“You have to give it up.”

“When?”

“Now.”

“Now?”

“Yes, now. Or I go to plan B.”

“What is...”

“Do you really want to know?”

Light decided that he didn’t. He looked at L standing to his side, holding the notebook once again. Watari next to him with an empty black box. And Ryuk, practically turning cartwheels, so excited at his good fortune to be allowed access to an apple orchard for as long as L and Light lived. He took a deep breath. His mind screaming at him to stop, to not say those words. Screaming at him to think of all the people who were going to die now because he couldn’t save them.

“I give up ownership of the death note.”

Now that L knew what he was seeing, he couldn’t believe he’d been fooled before. He once more watched Light’s narrowed eyes widen. He watched the brightness and innocence reappear once again. Light blinked three times in quick succession. He looked around him slowly, seeing only L holding a seemingly innocuous black book and Watari with a box.

“Ryuzaki? What are we doing?”

L ignored him for the moment and simply turned toward Watari and placed the book into the box. Watari then locked it and began to leave the room.

“Make sure no one opens it. And it should go into the Vault with all my documentation.”

L then seemed to turn and address the empty room.

“We have an agreement. . .yes, follow him. He has apples.”

Light was beyond confused. Ryuzaki was talking to nobody and locking up notebooks. He must have finally lost his mind. And where the hell was everyone else? He could have sworn they had been here. He felt a slight tug on the chain. He frowned down at it. He really hated it when Ryuzaki pulled on it to get his attention.

“Ryuzaki, what is going on?”

“Just follow me, Light.”

Light scoffed at him. As if he really had a choice in the matter. Wherever Ryuzaki went, he was forced to follow. Wasn’t that the point of the chain in the first place? Light followed behind him up the stairs and down the hall to the room they shared. Why did he feel like something important had just happened and he’d missed it somehow. And why were they going to their room? It was no where near the time that they went to sleep. Well, he slept anyway.
He’d opened the door and Light walked through. As he turned around to try and ask, yet again, what exactly was going on, he was surprised to see Ryuzaki lock the door. He never did that. Why lock a door when you were attached to the one person you’d have any reason to lock up? He then followed Ryuzaki into the small kitchen area. Well, that at least was normal. Ryuzaki then lifted the lid of a cookie jar and pulled out. . .a key.

“You kept it in the cookie jar?”

“Yes. While it’s an obvious place, you wouldn’t suspect it since I would be using it often.” Ryuzaki then unlocked the cuffs and let the chain slide to the floor. Light just stared at the small metal pile.

“Ryuzaki,” he said, gathering up the chain, “How many times are you going to make me ask?”

He was just staring at him. While this was nothing new, now it was a bit unnerving. Light felt confused and dazed. He felt off somehow. He didn’t like it. Ryuzaki wasn’t helping him feel any better either. He was just standing there, feeling like a fool, holding six feet of thin chain in his arms and watching Ryuzaki come closer and closer to him. Placing his hands on his face, looking more deeply into his eyes than anyone else ever had or could. After a few seconds, or forever, he finally parted his lips to say something.

“I missed you.”

“What are you talking about?” Light frowned slightly and rattled the chains, “I’ve been right beside you the whole time.”

********

A/N: Ok, well this is my first attempt at something serious with these boys. I hope it's turning out to be alright. So, let me know? Please? And just to assuage anyone's fears about the OC, no...this isn't going to turn into some BeyondxAlta lovefest. She's pretty much there to show Beyond's humanity, something I think is horribly overlooked. I suppose if there are any other questions, just ask and I'll do my best to answer. Also, for real, don't expect quick updates. No siree. I'm really trying to take my time and have something nice to show everyone. And also, I want to have something big to update with. I hate it when I'm done reading a chapter update in less than a minute. So, remember big updates, just a lot of time between them. I hope you enjoyed this.

Amo


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