9 Crimes | By : Akuma Category: Prince of Tennis/Tennis no Ohjisama > Yaoi - Male/Male > Tezuka/Fuji Views: 1857 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: PoT and its characters aren't mine. The song isn't mine either. It is sung by Damien Rice. I receive no profit from writing this. |
A/N: For milkyxduckie in LJ. Thanks to my beta who
beta this though I sent it to her just when she got the song out of her head
XDD
9 Crimes
Leave
me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It’s the wrong kind of place
To be thinking of you
It’s the wrong time
For somebody new
It’s a small crime
And I’ve got no excuse
The night was barely silent. The boisterous laughter
of the drunken salary men on the road below entered, only slightly filtered by
the window, along with the dim streetlight outside. The room itself was unmade.
Through the shadows, one could easily make out the messy table with books and
crumpled papers strewn across it, the articles of clothing on the floor, and
finally the unmade bed and the two naked bodies entangled beneath the thin
stained white cover.
Fuji wished the shadow would blind him from the
truth, from his crime, his sin. But as much as he wanted to be oblivious and
numb, he couldn’t. He hated the strange familiarity of the situation. His
disgust grew but not to the other person for he was only a victim. He was
disgusted with himself because he knew this was wrong, that he had sinned, that
he had soiled himself. But he couldn’t stop, couldn’t escape. Fuji had trapped
himself in here.
The body was too muscular, not lean enough. The
fingers too rough, not gentle enough; the breath too harsh, not soft enough.
This was the wrong person. This wasn’t the one Fuji wanted. This wasn’t him.
But he would forever be beyond Fuji’s reach. Always distant, no matter
how far Fuji ran. Always be the one, the one he could not reach and the one
he’d always yearn for.
How many times had he told himself this? How many
times had he told himself to stop wishing, hoping? He would forever be
out of his reach. He would never be his. This was all he had now and
forever; a strange bedroom and a strange man surrounding him. Fuji moved on,
ran and dragged everything around him in his haste. But in his attempt to run
away, there was always him in the looming distance wherever Fuji set his
eyes on. No matter how fast he tried to run, how tightly he closed his eyes, he’d
always be there, an undeniable, irreplaceable and irremovable presence.
“Fuji?” The groggy man behind him called. “Are you
all right?”
Fuji closed his eyes, hoping to fool his senses,
convince them this was the right place, the right person, the right thing to
do, but he couldn’t. He never could.
Fuji turned around, a perpetual mask fixed on his
face. He was not fooled but the stranger was. And that delusion, he wished he
could share.
Is that all right (yeah)
Give my gun away when it’s loaded
Is that all right (yeah)
If you don’t shoot it how am I supposed
to hold it?
Is that all right (yeah)
Give my gun away when it’s loaded
Is that all right
Is that all right with you?
No one questioned him when he arrived at school with
Taka-san. No one questioned him when he tried to sneak a peek of the contents
of Inui’s confidential data book. Those in the know were familiar with his
nature and those not in the know were too afraid to ask. Fuji realized this and
ignored it, because the only thing that truly mattered would never be.
The courts became silent when their proud captain
entered. Fuji was aware of this sign, he was expecting it in fact, but he kept
talking with Inui. Yet no matter how hard he tried to resist, he couldn’t
ignore his captain’s powerful presence for long. Despite the conversation he
was having with Inui, Fuji was aware of Tezuka’s every movement, the way he
talked to Oishi, the way he greeted other members with a cool look, the way he
ordered the freshmen to pick up balls, the way he didn’t miss the way Fuji was
watching him. So Fuji turned to regard him somberly, angry, relieved, and
jubilant all at the same time. He wished his feelings were conveyed through the
look they shared, but even if they had been, he would never know. Tezuka’s eyes
strayed soon; his attention never solely belonged to Fuji.
Fuji wanted to chase after him, scream at him, shake
him, hit him, anything to get that attention back. But Tezuka was walking away,
turning his back on him, getting more and more distant. Fuji wanted to reach
out for him, hold him back, make him stay, make him understand. Because Fuji
needed him to understand that he was in love and in pain and it was all because
of him.
Instead, what came out was a low purr and a step
towards doom. Inui was barely surprised, not anymore than anybody else. Fuji
smiled, a pretty, seductive smile with sharpness around the edges, victorious
in his defeat. He could feel the silent, collective shrug from those who knew,
but not from the one who he needed to understand, the one whose eyes returned
to him.
The seconds while it lasted were intense; they stole
away Fuji’s breath, pinned him down, mesmerized him, and broke him. That moment
Fuji was ready to do anything, throw his past away, ignore his present, abandon
his future, follow him, exist only for him, do anything he was asked, anything,
anything, anything as long as he could have those eyes, that attention on
him. But then the moment passed and Fuji
was left behind again to run and chase the forever-elusive dream.
“Fuji?”
They didn’t understand. Didn’t even know. His lies were
easy to buy. His truth was difficult to catch, like him whose back was once
again turned to him, eyes away from him, not minding, uncaring.
Fuji wanted to scream but he smiled instead. His
hopes were crushed, his heart shattered. Defeated, conquered, and he still
wanted Tezuka to turn back.
Leave me out with the waste
This is not what I do
It’s the wrong kind of place
To be cheating on you
It’s the wrong time
She is pulling me through
It’s a small crime
And I’ve got no excuse
Fuji didn’t frequent this particular street very
often. There was something about the atmosphere, the dim lights, the crowd, and
the way people looked at him that made him feel out of place. Walking into this
street, he felt like he had entered a different world, a world where he was
both loved and despised.
But tonight the music lured him closer and he found
himself mingling in the crowd of strangers, dancing to the beat. Fuji closed
his eyes and let the music guide him, slide around his body, move him with
invisible gentle force. In the darkness he could almost forget, could almost
lose himself, could almost feel the lingering dark thoughts dissipating.
Fuji raised his arms up high, drawing attention to
the slightly revealed creamy skin between his shirt and his trousers and his sensuously
swaying hips. Desperately he clung to the oblivion and moved his body more
vigorously as it slipped from his grasp. Everything became too clear; the way
the young man in front of him shifted closer and the gazes on him. Fuji wanted
to go, push him away, and run away. This was wrong, not right, a mistake, a
grave mistake. But he smiled instead, felt the hollow in his heart grow, and
let the hands touch where they shouldn’t.
The oblivion returned, building slowly within him
along with ecstasy. Fuji slung his arms around the stranger’s neck, laughing
softly at himself. The nagging guilt slowly disappeared along with the music,
which was now only a faint echo in his ears. He forced his mind to focus on the
pressure, maddening in its gentleness that built up his desire, his wall of
defense against the painful truth.
Then a piercing gaze broke the frail illusion, the
thin fog that clouded his senses. Fuji’s eyes snapped open and he searched for
the source of the intruding look. His heart sank, his body growing cold when he
found Tezuka standing away from the dancing crowd, watching him quietly,
sharply.
This was wrong. This was wrong! This wasn’t how he
wanted Tezuka to see him! Fuji wanted to move away but moved closer instead. A
sharp smile curved his lips as he held Tezuka’s gaze. Even as guilt tore him,
he couldn’t stop because Tezuka was looking at him, because he was paying
attention to him, because he could finally see him. And that was all that
mattered.
Lost as he was, Fuji nearly forgot his dance partner.
He gasped in surprise when two hands began to knead his buttocks firmly, a
finger slipping to caress the cleft hungrily. He didn’t realize how aroused he
was until he felt another arousal crushing on his. Briefly, he closed his eyes
as bliss overwhelmed him, stars danced in his eyes wildly and he instinctively
pressed back for more. But when he opened his eyes, Tezuka was gone.
Scared, angry, panicked, pleased, betrayed, Fuji
made his way out of the crowd, ignoring the call behind him. He looked for
Tezuka frantically, wanting and needing him to stay, be with him, see him, and
look at him. He ran to the distancing tall figure, desperately hoping that this
time he would be able to catch him.
Tezuka’s eyes were cold when Fuji caught his arm and
made him turn around. But Fuji was undeterred, even if he was scared. His need
overcame his fear. He had those eyes on him and that was all that mattered.
“Leaving so soon? Didn’t you enjoy the show?” Fuji
asked with a smirk, not letting go of Tezuka’s tense arm.
“I have seen enough.”
The words crushed his heart painfully but Fuji
didn’t budge. He still had those eyes on him and that was all that mattered.
“You haven’t seen anything.” He taunted. He
regretted and despised the words but he knew it was the truth. Tezuka never
expected anything but the truth from him and Tezuka was the only one who
deserved his true self. He stepped closer, lightly pressing against the tall,
strong, desirable body he had been craving. “I could show you more.”
Those eyes didn’t leave him, and that was all he
ever wanted.
Is that all right (yeah)
Give my gun away when it’s loaded
Is that all right (yeah)
If you don’t shoot it how am I supposed
to hold it?
Is that all right (yeah)
Give my gun away when it’s loaded
Is that all right
Is that all right with you?
Tezuka’s touches weren’t as clumsy as Taka-san’s, as
calculated as Inui’s, as playful as Eiji’s, as gentle as Oishi’s, as eager as
Momo’s, as inexperienced as Kaido’s, or as determined as Ryoma’s. It was
practical, impersonal, Tezuka. It was everything Fuji wanted. He overlooked the
frown on Tezuka’s face when he pushed him down to sit on the cheap mattress,
kneeled between his spread legs, and undid the zipper with his teeth. Fuji
didn’t care. He couldn’t bring himself to care. Tezuka was here with him,
looking at him, giving all his attention to him, and that was all that
mattered.
Fuji moaned around Tezuka’s twitching flesh,
savoring the musky scent and the flavor. Having that penetrating gaze on him
was enough to motivate him to begin to bob his head up and down, encasing the
throbbing hardness with his warm cavern. He paused every now and then to
playfully nibble on the oozing tip, dip his tongue in the tiny slit, or simply
lick the veins along the hard pillar of flesh. His heart was alleviated by
every soft sigh, silent moan, and tiny jerk of his hips, knowing that he had
affected him. Fuji glanced up, hoping
Tezuka would let go of his iron control and fuck his mouth like he knew he wanted
to. But Tezuka stubbornly clutched the cheap white bed sheet, not wanting to
give up his control. Fuji didn’t mind though as long as he had those eyes on
him. With one hand, he spread Tezuka’s legs wider as he kneaded his tight
pouches and bobbed his head faster.
“Fuji.”
Tezuka’s warning voice was nearly as calm as always;
save for the slight crack that showed the little victory Fuji had gained. Fuji
looked up and caught Tezuka’s slightly glazed eyes. Reading the silent message,
he released the hard flesh with a wet sound and took off Tezuka’s shirt and
trousers before undressing himself. Though this wasn’t the first time, though
Fuji knew there was nothing wrong with his body, he couldn’t help but feel
self-conscious. Only pride alone encouraged him to climb on to the bed to
follow Tezuka who was already lying on it, sparing only little time to caress
the strong thighs with his lips and tongue and kiss his abdomen before kneeling
on top of him.
It was too much to ask Tezuka to prepare him, so
Fuji took the tube of lube on the bedside drawer and slathered his fingers with
the sweet scented lubricant. He held Tezuka’s gaze as he leaned forward
slightly on top of him and reached back to lightly tease his entrance. He
gasped softly when his fingertips found the twitching ring of muscle. With a quiet
moan, he began to circle it, tantalizing himself with what was to come. His
free hand was splayed on Tezuka’s muscular chest, lightly exploring the soft
skin, brushing a dusky nipple to warrant a sharp intake of breath before
slipping his finger in.
Something about this felt different. Every inch of
his body seemed much more sensitive, his body aflame with unbearable desire so
early. Fuji dared not to touch his weeping arousal, feeling that he was going
to come with a mere brush of his own hand. So he rolled his tight nipples
instead as he swung his hips back for deeper penetration. He keened, imagining
it was Tezuka’s long, graceful fingers pushing into him, scissoring inside him,
curving to strike his pleasure centre. He cried out softly, his pre-cum splattering
Tezuka’s abdomen as he stretched himself wide. Fuji forced his eyes to remain
open to watch Tezuka’s flushed face. Licking his lips, he let go of his nipple
to stroke Tezuka’s straining arousal slowly, delighting himself in the small
grunts and the wetness that ran on to his fingers.
Feeling he couldn’t hold on for much longer, his
need for the connection he had yearned for became unbearable, Fuji slipped his
fingers free. He quickly covered Tezuka’s erection with the lubricant, only
lingering slightly to tease. He moaned, unable to wait much longer to have that
girth finally, finally inside him. So Fuji straddled Tezuka’s hips, one hand
holding Tezuka’s erection to guide it to his entrance as he looked at Tezuka
looking at him.
Fuji nearly closed his eyes when Tezuka stretched
him. He could feel the head disappearing within him and then more, and more,
and more until he was fully sitting on Tezuka’s lap, with his balls pressing
tightly against him. He flashed Tezuka a quick smirk as he made a show of
softly caressing his own flushed creamy skin, teasing Tezuka unsuccessfully.
The only sign of the tall captain’s fraying control was his tight grip on
Fuji’s thigh and the sudden hard thrust of his hips, knowing without asking
that Fuji could take it.
Fuji gasped, not anticipating the sudden movement.
With a pleasure-filled moan, he bounced up and down on Tezuka’s lap, changing
his angle a few times until he found his pleasure spot. Fuji paused then to
throw his head back and cry out sharply, but Tezuka’s relentless thrusts
reminded him of his duty and he resumed his pace, moaning and whining all the
time as white crept into his vision. Through the haze of pleasure, he made sure
to keep his eyes on Tezuka, knowing he was watching him, assessing him, paying
attention to him.
“… gonna… come…” Fuji managed to gasp out. His eager
hand caressed his thigh, longing to relieve himself.
Tezuka replied to this with a silent groan. He
shifted his hands to hold Fuji’s hips now, to squeeze them tightly to encourage
Fuji slam himself onto his erection and Fuji knew from the noises that he was
making and the darkening of his eyes that he was also close. With a moan, Fuji
wrapped his hand around his arousal and fisted it quickly, hunching as he
neared his climax. Tezuka was holding him tighter, pushing into him harder,
looking at him, watching him, paying attention to him.
Fuji arched his back, shouting out his orgasm as he
spent himself on his hand, his essence landing on Tezuka’s sweaty skin. The
moment seemed endless, he couldn’t seem to stop. Distantly he could feel Tezuka
keep thrusting into him before finally stilling, pressing him down onto his
lap, and filling him to the brim.
Fuji smiled, feeling the pearly liquid leaking out
of him, the way Tezuka still pushed into him languorously, and the way Tezuka’s
glazed eyes were still locked on his. He sighed, tired, relieved, happy, sad,
angry, scared. But Tezuka was looking at him, holding him, inside him, all
around him, and that was all that mattered.
Is that all right (yeah)
Give my gun away when it’s loaded
Is that all right (yeah)
If you don’t shoot it how am I supposed
to hold it?
Is that all right (yeah)
Give my gun away when it’s loaded
Is that all right
Is that all right with you?
Fuji woke up to the unfiltered sunlight entering
through the window. He sighed, savoring the soreness all over his
body, knowing without looking that the dreamlike sequence had ended. But still
he clung to it, running the scene of last night over and over again in his
head. Tezuka had been looking at him, with him, watching him, holding him,
paying attention to him. His heart contracted in his chest in a way he wished
to never comprehend. He tried to ignore the cold, tried to sleep a little
longer, tried to be oblivious, tried to think that memory alone was enough.
But he could only delude himself for so long. Fuji
turned to his side, to the empty side where there wasn’t a single trace of
another’s presence. It could’ve been a dream. It might as well be a dream, but
it wasn’t. It was real. It was true. Fuji knew it. He wished he didn’t, but he
did. It was true. It was real. It was reality. This was reality.
Fuji slung his arm over his eyes. Here he was, back
to where he started, abandoned, empty, cold, alone. Exactly how he was supposed
to be.
And it felt so wrong.
No.
O-WA-RI
A/N: And that's it folks. NO sequel. It hurts me to end it
this way but my muse demands that this is how it's supposed to be. Anyone is
welcome to make a sequel though! And don't forget to comment ^__^
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