I loved him...

I love him… I knew this fact for a long while…

Maybe not when we first met… Though I will be willing to admit that I was impressed by his child-like personality and shining intelligence… Maybe not when it came to certain words, but other than that…

I was most surprised when I had realized one thing during our time on the island, however…

Both he and I were close, if not on the same, mental wave length when it came to deductions… If our voices meshing together to form the same single sentence was not a hint of this…

He was so cute when he blushed… Stammering like a fool when he older male companion questioned him about our in sync “performance”…

Could it have been on the many cases afterwards? That I began to realize my love for him?

Like the time we went scuba diving in search of the missing doctor… Only to find him dead? That would explain why I not only volunteered to be his partner, but also when I hadn’t minded him using my oxygen tank from hyper ventilation….

Would that count as an indirect kiss? How cute…

Then came the uncomfortable feeling during the village case when he went after the obviously deranged murderer… She may have been young, even brainwashed by her relative… But that didn’t mean I wanted him to try and save her from what could have been a deadly chicken pox virus…

And oh… When he was in danger in that locked room… I wanted to bring his wet and frightened body near me, whisper soft comforting words and never let go of him…

I’m glad he was able to send me…. No… Us… That S.O.S signal… I was so afraid…

Then came the killer collector mission.

I knew he wouldn’t be able to be good in the school… That he’d die from his brain overheating before we found the missing person… He never was good at academic problems…

But that didn’t stop me from loving when he came to see us… He always did love a good case…

Even helped us after he got kicked out of the crime scene… Found the ants and candy that solved everything we didn’t have pieced before…

But I knew I loved him during that case….

The case of hell’s maestro, more importantly… The end of that case…

When the killer tried to come at him with a knife… Spouting about how the one to reveal the secret of the gods falling into Tartarus… It was then I felt what I needed to do…

And so without hesitation… Without care for what I knew was going to happen next…

I protected him by throwing my body out and getting stabbed…. Causing myself to black out from shock of blood loss…

Only… I woke up later in a hospital… Mostly due to a nightmare I was having, but still… The nurse they explained to me what happened, referring to my right-hand side for the ones responsible for bringing me to the hospital…

I could only sit up, and stare at them in surprised silence for a while…

To save me?

For me?

Even when I was asked if they were my classmates… I responded with the answer I usually gave… That they were comrades with the same ambitions as me…. But…

At the sight of him there… Bandages on his cheeks and side of his head, sleeping peacefully… Even though he must’ve been in an uncomfortable position…

I smiled and quickly corrected myself… Calling them my friends, instead…

I enjoyed when he came to the hospital to visit me afterwards as well… Even if he wasn’t alone… It left me feeling… Content… And warm… Even after he left me to go to school…

Until Anubis showed up to ruin not only my shred of happiness… But also the confidence I had… To escape from my Grandfather’s hand… To escape from Pluto…


And so I ran from the hospital… Without a specific destination in mind… Just knowing I wanted out of there… To somewhere… Somewhere that felt safe….

And so I had stared down at those tracks below me… Knowing if I fell… Even if I was still alive then… I wouldn’t be alive for long if I got hit by one of those trains…

And as I felt more and more despair… More and more hopeless… My vision became a dull gray… And I felt myself more drawn to those tracks… Feeling myself lowered as all I could think of was the feeling of release I would’ve had…

Until he called my name out…

In an instant all colors swam back, and I quickly looked over to the one who called my name…

Kyu… Renjo…

With his black hair that harbored a white streak in the middle of it… And large gold eyes that at the time was filled with the relief of finding me… Though I could tell that previously they were filled with much concern and worry…

It was then that I requested Kyu something… Something that I’m glad he agreed too…

I asked him if I could stay at his house… With him…

If he had said no… I knew I wouldn’t have gone to a hotel like I said I would… No… It’d be too much for me to bear… For him to reject my existence…

So we began our living arrangements at his house… And that point of time… I felt connected to Kyu…

And this feeling I had… I know it continued to nurture into something lethal… When I heard his voice on DDSunrise…

For the distance between us was too great for it to be anything but our already unusual link…

And… The more I reminisce about Kyu….

The more I hated Megumi….

She had held the fragile heart of Kyu during this time… Even though she herself was currently in the midst of a crush with myself….

Like a love triangle, I suppose…

But I still did not like it… Why her? Why not me? It wasn’t until much recently that I realized something…

This love of mine… Was going to harm both me and Kyu…

---*insert dramatic music here, please!*---
Kyu and Ryu stopped living together once the violet-haired boy’s once hectic life settled down enough. And Kyu felt a small pang of loneliness from this.

But it didn’t mean he couldn’t see his best friend at school, right?

And so Kyu began to try arriving at school earlier in hopes of getting more time to spend with his brother-like-companion. And one day…

He wish he didn’t…

Kyu didn’t know what caused the ever so calm Ryu Amakusa to be there… Over the pale body that once belonged to his crush, Megumi Minami…. But all he knew was…

Ryu had just killed her with his own two hands…

Kyu was, needless to say, stunned as he stood there, mouth gaping silently before he spoke in a voice he couldn’t believe to be his own. “R-Ryu…?”

The other boy looked over at Kyu as his once sane gray eyes were replaced with a crazed look that scared the black-haired detective to his core… And almost like an afterthought…

He remembered the dream he had where those same crazed eyes were laid upon him as a knife had sliced him down the middle…

“Kyu…” Ryu murmured when he saw his love there… Pale and frightened… But he didn’t care. The only thing that mattered was that he was just there… And Megumi wasn’t…

And that was when he noticed how Kyu ran away from him…

This shattered Ryu worst than he ever thought it would… That the one person he thought would accept him completely…

He wouldn’t stand for it…

And so Ryu began to chase after Kyu…

Kyu, on the other hand, just ran out of fear… Out of frustration…

But mostly out of sadness and disbelief…

How… No… Why… Did his best friend do this? To kill the female member of their team…? He just…. Just…

Just couldn’t understand it…

And even as he ran so much… He always felt instinctively the body behind him…

Hearing the echoing footsteps that raced to catch up to him…

But more importantly… He felt the arms that circled around him in a grasp that he knew wouldn’t be so easy to get out of…

But that didn’t stop Kyu from trying…

Ryu couldn’t stop holding on…

No… It was more like he didn’t want to stop…

Even with the squirming and fighting from the person in his arms… Ryu still liked how the small body felt against him…

And so he pulled the other detective closer… Burying his head on top of the fluffy hair there and inhaling the delectable scent that was Kyu’s….

He felt Kyu’s body stiffen at the more intimate gesture, and smiled briefly in thought that Kyu had finally liked him back once more…

Though in truth… Kyu was just more scared when he felt something dig into his lower half of his body… And even though he knew it wasn’t a weapon… He still didn’t like it…

“Kyu…” The pretty boy murmured as his hands softly began to explore the body before him. He tilted the boy’s head to show the slightly tanned skin that laid there before bringing his mouth to place butterfly kisses…

Trailing upwards starting close to Kyu’s collarbone… All the way up his neck… Then jaw… And finally to rest upon the quivering boy’s lips. Their eyes connected…

Lustful… Clouded… Gray…

Scared… Tearful… Gold…

Ryu sighed as he pulled back, feeling disgusted at himself… Because he knew he wanted his time with Kyu to be special… And so he did the only thing he could think of… He had let go of the boy, and left as mysteriously as a shadow…

Kyu collapsed from his weakened legs. His arms hugging himself as he felt the tears leak from his eyes. What happened… He did not know… All he knew was…

He was terrified… Terrified that his only closest friend was going to rape him…

It wasn’t until later on did Kinta and Kazuma find Kyu…

And even more later when they found Ryu…

The violet haired detective slept peacefully on the bed… The pure white sheets marred by the crimson liquid that pooled from a sliced wrist… The actual blade having fallen from his limply resting hand onto the floor below…

And the only note there was…

'I loved him more than anyone could have realized…'

--- End---

A/N:
… I have no clue what to say… I was in a depressing mood and decided to type this story up… But I only completed it after a good night’s rest… Granted, I wanted there to be sex… But… I thought I would fail to make it good… Heh…