When

I think the best time for Eiri and I is just after one of my concerts or his book signings. It's the one time when the spotlight is really off us. The press won't bother us because they have this unspoken rule to wait for interviews for at least a day following either a concert or book signing. The public seems to follow just about the same rule. Kind of like a wind down period, I guess. It just means that there is some time for Eiri and I to just be together--just the two of us.

We've fucked a lot and we've done it in a lot of places and we've been interrupted countless times so when the spot light gets turned off, I know that something even more special and important gets started.

I'm not sure what is that makes this time special, but I think it's because Eiri feels that it's just the two of us and he doesn't have to worry about anyone else making comments or anything. Like this day takes place in another universe, far from the one we live in, the one where a sneeze can generate an entire front page of every newspaper and magazines. This day--is our universe.

I like it particularly when he comes to the last concert of a tour and he stays with the band in the hotel the record company chooses for us. I think it helps to create the illusion that we really are in another universe because it's not our home, where millions of fans daily walk past and try to sneak into (it's why we had the top security installed around the house, though it doesn't stop anyone). There are few people who know we are at the hotel and therefore, very few people who could interrupt us. Also, since everyone who could call us knows that one of us is resting from either tour, no one calls our cells.

It's just Eiri and Shuichi. No famous novelist or singer/band leader; no brother or son or in-law. Just two...humans.

Everyone knows he likes to call me different names and very rarely calls me Shuichi or Shu, but in this time, that's all I am--Shu. Just like he's Eiri. I have never once called him Yuki in our time. It seems to impersonal to do so.

We also take our time, which is unusual for us. We're either exhausted by the time we get around to fucking or one of us is on a deadline or it's early so I usually have to get into the studio or one of us has to go to an interview or...a dozen other things that stars have to do and which get in the way of actually having a relationship.

I sometimes wonder how we ever manage to have a relationship.

By the time my concert has ended or by the time he's done with signing books for all those women out there who want to be me, one of us is very exhausted, but I know that it doesn't matter. We'll close the door to the bedroom or hotel room and then it'll just be the two of us and it won't matter how exhausted we are; we'll find the energy to do this.

We take it slow because it's been so long since we've seen each other and we need it to last. Our shirts will be off almost at the start, but it'll take longer for us to take anything else off. Like we've forgotten what the other was like and need to take the time to reaquaint ourselves. Our hands will just barely skim below the waist and only once, maybe twice. We're too busy rediscovering our chests and back and neck and face that we can't concentrate on anything else.

I'm usually loud during sex, but being loud is both taxing on my worn tonsils and seems sacrilege to make too much noise. I'll gasp and moan and so will Eiri, but we won't be too loud. And we don't have to be. We don't have constant eye contact, but there is more than usual and we use our eyes to say everything we need to say. To say everything we're too afraid to say--me because I don't want to break the connection between us and Eiri because he's just plain afraid to.

But there is no doubt, in these moments, that Eiri loves me. And this isn't the Eiri who belongs to the outside world. This is the Eiri who was locked away inside, hiding and licking his wounds. This is the Eiri that only I can see. Not even Tohma has seen this Eiri since New York all those years ago. Only I get to see him and hug him and kiss him and love him. And I know why. He trusts me and knowing that means more to me than a single conversation with Sakuma or even selling a million copies of a new album.

At this point, we've both managed to come in our pants from the sheer intensity of what we're sharing and all the rutting we can't stop ourselves from doing. We'll get out of our pants and underwear and even though we'll both be unpleasant because of the cum stuck to our pubes, neither of us will get a cloth from the bathroom or even mention getting one. We won't leave this bed until mid-afternoon the next day (I know--I've kept track) and neither of us will even think about leaving the bed either.

I'll start shivering from the cold air around us which hasn't warmed up to our temperature and Eiri will move the sheets down so we both can get under them and keep warm. This we have mastered because of all the times we had to do it. As I said, we don't want to leave the bed for quite a long time. It’s almost as sacrilege as either of us speaking or making any real noise. It just isn't done.

The shades will be open like they always are, so we can see each other naturally, without the aid of any imitation lighting and I think that Eiri is the best seen by the moonlight. It lights up his hair perfectly and outlines his body with a little haze, giving color to his otherwise pale skin and enhances it and I could spend my entire life writing songs about how beautiful Eiri is in the moonlight.

I'm still moving my arms around his chest and back and arms and neck and through his hair, ceaselessly moving because I can't get enough and he's kissing me while he moves me so he can lie between my legs. And even though we just came a few minutes ago, we're both hard again and needing more than one small orgasm.

He shifts so his weight is on one of his arms and as he's still kissing me, his free hand moves down my body to find my arse and stroke it. I stop rubbing his arms so he doesn't loose his concentration and so he doesn't fall on me and I use one hand to grab the lube from under the pillow where it was left earlier when we fucked before the concert or last signing. I mindlessly move my hand to give him the lube and even though we haven't spoken, his hand is right there to catch the tube because we've done this so many times, we could do it in our sleep. Not that we want to sleep. Only a true idiot would rather sleep now.

He always remembers the lube, but tonight and all the nights like this, he uses extra because he doesn't want me in pain and neither of us want to break this spell because I'm getting hurt. This is about comfort and not animalistic need and not something that'll be over so quick that lube won't be missed. Tonight we need the lube because without it, we can't keep the game going and we want the game to keep going.

He all but fists me, making sure that I'm as stretched as I can be so that everything will go nice and smooth. He shifts again, pouring lube onto his cock and some onto mine so there's more friction for my cock and then both his arms are beside my head and he starts to push into me. I grab onto his neck, legs wrapping around the small of his back, crossing my ankles and waiting with baited breath for that one moment when he's fully inside and my body wraps itself the feeling of having all of Eiri's cock inside me (which given his size and my small frame is not easy for us to do very often).

We pause, gathering breath and to get used to the feeling of coming home. Because it doesn't matter whether we're in Japan or the States or in a hotel room or a guest room or our own house. If we're together, we're home. And that’s another reason why these moments after the last concert or last signing are so special--it's the first time we're home. We can relax and let all that stress and energy go and get some rest. And yes, even as we're making love, we're resting. Because we're home.

He starts moving and I'm still quiet. I'm breathing into his ear just as he's breathing into mine and we're still going slow. We can go like this for hours, but not this time. It's been almost six months since I've seen Eiri and that is just too long, for either of us. Especially for Eiri who used to fuck like he drank and wrote. Now it's just me and six months is like six years to him. Or rather, twelve, I judge because as I look into his eyes as we pull back just enough to kiss, I can see how much this has killed him. I can only imagine how bad his latest story is; for no matter what he says, ever since he gave himself to me, freely, completely, his writing has improved and without me, he has no muse or reason to write. Nor any spare thought to write.

I moan quietly into his mouth, eyes sliding shut and I arch into him, feeling glorious friction on my cock and I make a noise of thanks to him for putting the lube on my cock. He shifts again, moving away a little and I'm tempted to follow him when I realize that he's shifting his weight onto his knees. When he bends towards me again, I tighten my hold on his neck and he moves a hand to wrap around the back of my head, smashing us together, gluing us together because we feel the need to melt right into each other which I think we could actually do because I feel like I'm more gas and liquid than actual solid and it would just make this totally perfect, to merge right into him.

I was right when I said that it had been too long because he's speeding up and I can feel the fire building up inside my stomach and I know it won't be long before we're cuming. He reaches around to grab one of my hands and moves it so it can grab at the headboard and I moan, moving my other hand similarly, knowing what he wants. This moment will always be the same for us and it will always change.

He lifts his hips and back a little so all his weight will be on his knees and legs and he grabs my hips in his hands and starts to pound harder into me. He keeps his chest pressed into mine and the friction feels even better because he's pressing harder into me and I don't know how much longer I can take it.

And even though I want to say something, anything, maybe a warning that I'm about to shoot, I don't. I can never seem to stop myself any other time, but I can now and I instead look for his eyes which are watching me, waiting for some signal and when our eyes meet, he seems to smile. A smile that looks like something greater than mortal is peering down at me through Eiri and yet I know it's only Eiri and it's all I need.

I moan and arch and let it loose from me, shooting right past my hair and onto the wall behind me. My eyes are shut, but my other senses are hyperaware and I know that a few seconds after me, Eiri follows me right into blackness. We're tense all over, the orgasm seeming to never end until I collapse into the mattress below and then I become a sandwich, Eiri allowing himself to rest on me rather than roll to the side like he usually does when we're not here.

Though I can hardly move, I bring my arms down to touch his arms again and just touch Eiri because I still can't seem to get enough.