Maybe.. this isn\'t for me?

Ivory sheets barely coated two bare bodies… The sunlight dared to peek in and drag across closed orbs and their host stirred minimally, dreading peering open one of those mercurial hues for fear of the ever apparent morning..

“Already…?” a tenor vocal groaned, suave and well beyond teenage crackling, yet not baritone as later years might prove.

“Mm’hmm…” a delicate feminine voice cooed in response from within the clutches of his arms, cheek nestled into his chest as though he were her shelter and she to forever be protected. Unafraid to peer open her own, best described as hazel, pools she would finally weasel away enough to sneak a peak at a clock on a distant wall of the bedroom- though at first it was blurry, slowly coming to focus and.. “Oh! Oh, no! Squall!” she squawked like an alarmed canary, tiny hands managing to find his shoulders and give the sleepyhead a few rugged shakes as best she could. “Wake up!- Wake up, we’re late!”

“Wh-what..?.. !” his tone was sharp and rather agitated. He was still groggy, her words barely registering at all while the haze of last night was merely reluctant to begin shedding, wanting all the while to just keep his eyes close and ignore the pounding migraine.

“Come on- Wake up, Mr.Sleepy! I told you we should have went to bed sooner- if we’re late then Selphie is going to murder us- o-or make us go ‘ka-boom!’- You know that thing she does, wants to ‘blow everything to smithereens’- Come on, upsy daisy of I’ll- I’ll tickle you!”

At first he was merely inclined to the idea of letting her ramble on and on, still not opening his eyes and trying to replace her scrambled up attempts to wake him with some lullaby… But that just was not happening. Brows lowered in very decided pain as hot and cold zapped from one temple, across his face, and to the other- Such was the after morning effects when one consumed enormous amounts of alcohol. He’s just come to age not even a week ago and ever since then… It seemed every single one of them plotted to turn the blood in his body to pure grain alcohol, using the excuse “You’re more fun when you’re drunk, Squally!”- But… Do I really have to be drunk to have them enjoy being around me…? What about the last couple of years…? Should the Headmaster really be parading around falling over his own boots?… That’s a terrible examp-

“SQUALL! Squall Leonhart- Are you listening to a word of what I’m saying to you?!”

Thoughts were all shattered and he came back to reality, finding that somewhere along the lines in zombie fashion he had sat up and began stretching his arms out while managing to magically tune his lady friend out entirely. A froggy throat was cleared and he tried on the best apologetic smile he could muster, which was… sad, at best. But for her he’d always try.

“Y-yeah, I hear you, Rinoa… I’m up.” was all he said before neglecting any ‘good morning affections’ and simply turning as to hook his feet over the edge of the bed and stand up. The female was obviously slightly annoyed by it, but she was far too accustomed to it after knowing him for these past 4 or 5 years. So witht hat decided to just hop up herself and go about the flighty ways of getting dressed and prettied up.

“Squally~… Should I wear the blue or the purple?” She held up two dresses with that quirky, head tilted smile, waving them just a bit in display. “But before you choose, please note the lovely open-back dip in the back of the purple and the always stylish drapery of the blue, hehe.”

“…” He was no one to judge style, wearing mandatory suits most of the time and his old threads from when he was a teen in his free time. The jacket, at least to him, was timeless and served the purpose of keeping him warm… So who cared what it looked like? “… The blue.. I guess?”

“Oh, good choice!” she chuckled out, tossing the other item back to the closet and slipped into the little blue number, prancing and preening in front of the mirror proudly. “ It looks so nice!” she squealed, chipper and fluttering over to her man after and putting her arms around him while he tried to button the top and last tedious button.

“I can’t- I-” he grumbled, giving up with the wretched button and resigning with a flustered huff, hands falling to his side and looking down to the beauty clung to him.

“Okay, okay, grumpy- Here, I’ll do it.” She let go of him and took the stubborn button and, rather with ease, did it up and even giggled afterwards, sliding a hand up his cheek. “There you go.”

She makes it look so easy… Hmph.

“Y-Yeah- Thanks…” he muttered before turning and checking himself in the mirror only once as to make sure everything was in place from shoes to hair. That was all in check and, after finishing other tiny details in morning routine, he stepped out into the main hall, his partner in bubbly tow.

“Isn’t this just so exciting? After all that hard work Selphie’s dream- all of Trabia’s dream is finally one hundred percent complete! I’m so happy for her.” She’d continue on like this the whole journey from room to hall, elevator, more halls, and finally they were in the heart of Balamb Garden, or at least the epicenter for control.

“We’ll be setting course for Trabia, Xu.” he requested with a usual stern tone, looking to the female who, since the Time Compression ordeal decided to try new things, was now the pilot of Balamb Garden.

“Aye, Sir.” She smiled plainly but was more than pleased to follow out her orders, taking the microphone to the loudspeaker and announcing to all the patrons and members of the Garden that they’d be leaving in fifteen minutes. “Anything else, Sir?” she inquired while checking over various equipment and stats made visible up on deck.

“No, that’s all.” That being all that needed said, he turned and made for the exit, the only thing holding him back, literally, was the tiny grip of Rinoa on his arm. “… What?”

“You promised we’d have ice cream for breakfast.” she whined, pouting out her bottom lip and giving those signature puppy dog eyes, giving his sleeve a small tug.

“… Fine.” He didn’t really recall such a promise ever being made, but if for some strange reason she wanted ice cream for breakfast.. He’d just nod and head along for the cafeteria.

“Oh- Thank you, thank you!” Her cheeks were bright and cherry with delight, keeping at his side the entire time and once within that cafeteria began ordering quite a few other things besides ice cream.

“It‘s on me…” he murmured to the lady manning the register, handing over his I.D. badge so she could run it through some device or another and payment transaction was complete. A simple nod from him was all the ‘thank you’ she would get, waiting several moments then before the food was fully prepared and he would take the tray over to the table Rinoa had skittered to claim after placing the order.

“It all looks so yummy- Here, have a bite!” She had taken a cheese smothered hotdog and held it up to her darling’s lips, waiting for him to take a bite, but he’d only lift a hand and push it away a little.

“I’m not really hungry- Thanks though.”

“Fine, fine- I’ll just eat all this awesome food by myself, I guess.” And she was not joking, either. She was a petite young girl.. Who could eat just about anything and everything without gaining an inch. Squall pondered sometimes where it all went and sometimes joked, in privacy of course, that it went to her thighs.

Speakers up ahead and nested to the ceiling in every room of the Garden now chimed and rang a few soft notes before Xu’s voice emanated from them, “Now commencing flight.”
The Garden in its entirety would be felt vibrating as gears shifts, cogs clanked, and the rotating platform responsible for flight capability all became lively; a vibration that sent a heap of nachos from the tray to Squall’s lap, a cheesy mess smearing down his left leg and face immediately warped in a cringe.

“Oh-Oh Squall!- I’m so sorry!” she chirped, setting down the hotdog and handing him a fistful of napkins.

“It’s.. It’s okay.” he managed to say through grit teeth, wiping off the majority of the mess but still far from being pleased with his once fresh attire. “I’ve.. Got to go change- I’ll be right back..” he said as he rose to his feet, hands held out as though something far worse than cheese and crumbs were all over them, but he just didn’t want to get it all over anything else.

“O-Okay..” she stifled out, biting her bottom lip and looking down and feeling a little guilty about the ordeal- she was the one who insisted on this adventure to the café. Only once he had cleared the entrance did she dare resume eating.

Did my uniforms even get back from dry cleaning yet… ? He thought and simmered silently as he made his way through the halls back to his room. Nearly everyone he passed either asked him what happened or looked away quick trying to be polite and not laugh, but for those who did inquire he’d only reply “Rinoa.” and move along.. After all these years together the one-worded answer spoke volumes to any who knew a thing about Squall. This woman was capable of everything and anything, good and bad, and yet at the same time was the very woman he had been debating recently if it was time to.. ‘take the next step’ with.. I wonder if she’d say yes…

As usual, he’d carry on even as he became eyeball deep in all these thoughts. However, this came to a train wreck halt when he realized… his uniforms had not gotten back from cleaning. Without a single suit or uniform for back-up, he resorted to the only thing he could- those old pants, complete with belts, boots, and everything else.. Topped off with his favored jacket. It’s not ceremony material.. But it’s all I have..

He sighed and sat with the troublesome thought. He’d just received this position on his 20th birthday when former Headmaster Cid decided he wanted to retire to his country setting at the orphanage with his wife, Edea. (Or as Squall, and many other orphans, so affectionately addressed her, Matron.) Barely over a year of experience and he was still not as smooth with these procedures of opening ceremonies and appearance-requiring things as he had hoped, still caught in that awkward stage when someone addressed him as “Sir.”- which nearly everyone, excluding a few select buddies (Zell, Selphie, Irvine, and Rinoa), called him. Even Quistis was far too caught up in being proper to branch from the formalities. It was tiresome.. And by far stressful to feel so alienated from people who were once his peers.

As always, he was broke away from his mind by something. This time it was his phone, the ring tone as alerting, monotonous and mind flinching as the howl of a dying feline. He immediately stood and snatched it up, lifting it to his ear.

“Balamb Garden, Headmaster speaking.” It was Martine calling from Fishman’s Horizon relaying a message from the Chief confirming the damaged arrival of some items from Balamb, requesting that they discuss plans to repair the parts sometime soon. Martine sounded slightly hot under the collar, or at least irritated, but Squall figured it was all in good measure and simply agreed to reparations for their behalf and ended the call on that note.

Just one more thing I have to do.. He groaned silently to himself. He was made aware of the responsibilities of becoming Headmaster, but.. Sometimes, just sometimes…

I should get back to Rinoa..

He moved along and out of his room, stopping when he spied the elevator and his emotions would once more be conquered by duty as he decided to deviate from heading straight back to the cafeteria and when back up on deck to check their progress.
“We’ll be passing Fisherman’s Horizon soon and not much longer after that- Everything is running smoothly, Sir.” a younger SeeD informed Squall as Xu maintained controls.

“Fisherman’s Horizon..” he mumbled aloud mistakenly.

“Y-Yes, Sir.. ? Something we should know about FH?”

“What?” Squall replied a bit confused, unaware he’d said a thing and all the while decided it was convenient for business, and personal, reasons to flag Xu and request she dock at FH. She was a bit confused herself, but abided command and as Fisherman’s approached she would slow the Garden and dock.

“We may be late, Sir, if we linger long.” she stated the obvious and looked to Squall for further instruction.

“No, you won’t. I’m the only one getting off here. I’ll reconvene at Trabia.”

“But what about-”

“I’ll be there, don’t worry. And if Rinoa asks tell her I had some business that required being taken care of immediately and if I miss something tell Selphie… anything.” He’d not wait for confirmation of his request before turning about on his heels and going for the door, leaving Xu and her apprentice with slacked jaws.

She’ll forgive me, right? They both will… His logic was simply this; business came before pleasure, and the unveiling of a perfectly restored Trabia was considered, to him, a pleasure he could see later. He was Headmaster now, responsible for all transactions including business and trade revolving around Balamb and he intended to manage things accordingly.

Just before reaching the exit hatch a certain former pilot turned head mechanical engineer, Nida, approached and saluted Squall appropriately before starting to speak, and naturally he would respond with a salute as well.

“Yes, Nida?”

“Sir, may I ask why we’ve stopped?”

“…. Business.” was his only response before opening the hatch and stepping out to the docking platform.

“Oh, business, that’s… great.” he murmured to himself, still smiling however and securing the hatch after Squall had made his exit. He didn’t take the cold shoulder as an offense, being one of many who knew the gent a bit more personal. He just wasn’t a sociable fellow.

Once out he gave a glance back to the enormous mobile mass, watching it undock and return to its voyage for Trabia. I hope she’s not too upset… She, of course, referred to Rinoa, the one he’d left in the cafeteria and never returned to- instead getting caught up in his ‘business’. They’d had a little discussion when he first took up this position about just that issues; getting too caught up in business. Rinoa feared it would take away from their ‘us’ time and Squall had managed to convince her he could balance everything and nothing would change between them..

And what could have been further from the truth…

Sometimes I wonder… If any of this is for me.

Sometimes… Just sometimes.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a meet and greet with the man assuming charge of the peaceful province Squall was left to haggle out the resolution to their issue. Which, luckily for him and unsurprisingly, it was obtained without much strife or compromise, both parties satiated.

“I appreciate your business, you man,” the fellow, rather gangly in appearance, chortled out as he shook Squall’s hand, leaving the other to give that uncomfortable cat-like smile he was famous for and shake in return.

“We value your business, Sir, and aim to meet all standards, save none,” he said, tone serious as ever and finally retracting his hand. That was the end of that. He saluted in familiar SeeD fashion before retreating from the hut, back outdoors.

The air… feels so cool… He wasn’t one to dabble with sensitive details like such, but something about the spray from the water onto his cheeks from the water below as he gazed out from a mediocre dock… It was refreshing. He was always so cooped up in that Garden… Everyone and anyone turned to him for answers to everything, always expected to be somewhere and sometimes two places at once. It was hectic, to say the least.

He felt a bit of- no, it wasn’t quite guilt, but maybe some sort of concern about missing the unveiling of the new Trabia… He’d said he would meet up with the Garden there, but something in him pulled out the apathy card and he resigned to standing near a rickety light post staring out over the water, void of all expression from his features.

“Well! Ain’t that something, Boss? Lookit!” a loud, baritone voice called in the distance. Squall paid it no mind, too mesmerized in his own thoughts, which were surprisingly naïve and consuming. The brute in the distance pointed to the man by the post while the one addressed as ‘Boss’ began stepping forward, closer and closer, until…

“Heh, looky here- Squallyboy!” a voice came burst harsh into Squall’s surreality and he snapped away entirely when that gloved hand fell onto his shoulder and gave him a jerk. “What? Too good to talk to me are you?”

“…” Squall paused, breath held a moment as his orbs flickered to the own of his long time rival, not that he ever intended to be rivals with the guy.. But some people… He sighed and finally turned more towards him on his own accord, head canting to the side just a little as eyes kept locked. “No, Seifer..”

Seifer, the taller and blonde, tugged his lips to the side in a smirk, the gap between his lips finally sealing to polish that look as simply smug. “Well, then you won’t mind a little tour.”

“… A tour?” he simply replied, more or less inquiring as he brushed brunette stray strands of his bangs to the side and out of his view.

“Yeah- A tour. Show you what I’ve been up to all these years since you fucked me over.”

I fucked him over…?

Squall shook his head, not quite stepping back yet but turning like one ready to walk off. “I’ve actually got some official business to get to, so I’m sorry but-”

“Too official for an old friend?” Eyes narrowed as he said this, leaning forward just some.

Friend….?

“It’s not that- I have responsibilities now and-”

“Yeah, I saw it in the news- ‘Squall Leonhart, new Headmaster of Balamb Garden’… Yadda, yadda. Look, buddy, we haven’t seen each other in years- I’ve shaped up, gimme a chance, but damn it at least gimme the time…?”

He sounded almost sincere, but Squall still questioned it. Has he really changed… ? After straightening his posture up and closing his eyes a moment he’d look back to Seifer and give something akin to a shrug..

“I guess I’m already late…” he said in a resigned tone, shifting the majority of his weight from one leg to the other before jesting a hand to the air. “Well, lead the way…”

“My pleasure.” Seifer replied in a questionably almost sarcastic tone. Perhaps suggestive even. The blonde gave the larger, mediocre-brained fellow still in the distance some sort of hand gesture that signaled him to go on his way, they’d meet up later… Or something like that, so was Squall’s guess.

They’d walk along some elevated platforms and upper plates of the place until they came upon something Squall first thought to be a junkyard… And he was semi-correct.

“This! This is where I reside- Ain’t it a beauty?” Seifer brimmed and preened proudly as a hand suggested over to the heap of scrap metals and one shack like fixture in the middle. Maybe it was bigger up close, but Squall still wasn’t convinced this was much to call one’s own.. But he would keep his mouth closed and follow Seifer along down a narrow path between the metal mountains until they were at the door of said shack. “And this… is where I like to rest my head now and again.” the blonde said as he opened the door.. And much to Squall’s surprise the inside was.. Nicely furnished. Also, from what he gathered upon stepping in there was actually more than one room.

“It’s.. not bad at all, Seifer. How did you… ?”

“Ah, well, came here after all that bullshit because that old coot…. Well, he’s the only one who didn’t hold it all against me- Told me as long as I straightened my act up I could stay here. Basically handed this place to me since I’m young enough to maintain it and all.. And that’s that, been here ever since. Sure, I ain’t got a snazzy uniform like you, but I think I look better anyhow in jeans and a Tee…” He laughed to his own narcissism and smirked in that ever arrogant way.

Squall said nothing in reply to that. Instead he opted to step off a few paces and examine various pictures lining the wall and very odd metal creations that lined the fireplace mantle.

“I made those,” Seifer said upon noticing the brunette’s interest, and all the while peeling away his once white, now covered in dirt and oil, t-shirt.

“Oh… ? They’re.. They’re interesting,” he stated rather plainly, no particular demeanor to his voice as he continued to walk and gaze.

“I know- But you know what’s really interesting, Squally?”

“… What’s that?” Squall turned around as to give the other a look, but much to his surprise Seifer had managed to slink very close very fast, and silently no less. The two were practically nose to nose now, eyes locked and air thickening between the two of them. It was only Squall’s naturally cool inclination that caused him not to stir, back down, or jolt from his flesh with surprise. I didn’t even hear him…?

“Well, I think it’s interesting that after everything that’s happened you’re here, talking to me, and- the most important part- you don’t have a single weapon on you…” The blonde’s mouth cocked to the side, a haughty laugh purring out.

“… I didn’t think I’d require one.” Squall’s voice did not quaver, nor did his stance, but the slight dilation of his pupils told a different story- that he was second guessing his decision to go on this ‘tour’ in the first place, not that he had all too great of alternate options.

“I guess even a Headmaster can be an idiot-” the blonde paused, giving something of a roar before grabbing the brunette by the shoulders and shoving him backflat to the fireplace he’d been admiring barely moments ago. He gave a chuckle before continuing, “-Isn’t that right-” He paused yet again as the brunette groaned and began using force to remove the taller, but Seifer only laughed and jammed a knee right to the gut of the other.

“Wh-whuh?!” Squall blurted out in response, a mixture of grumbles and obscenities mumbled beneath his breath as he felt his body clench and try to curl to the pain. But the crueler of the two of them wouldn’t let it go so easily, hands reapplying to his shoulders and pinning the one with clenched eyes upwards.

“Isn’t that right, Squallyboy?!” It was obvious to Seifer now that apparently all that pampered Headmaster treatment must have softened Squall up, giving a piteous laugh as he savored the moment of superiority and slammed his knee to the abdomen of the other yet again.

“G-gah!” Squall swallowed a gulp of air as he gasped out and flinched. His body was supported now only by the pinning hands of the other… and falling quick when Seifer decided to suddenly let him go. Arms curled around himself instinctively, protectively, falling first to his knees and then to the rest of his ventral side.

“Pathetic… Absolutely pathetic- a few years in a cushiony position and you lose it all? Even your dignity? Tch. Get up before I break every bone in your damn body!”

“…!!” Pathetic?! I’m not… I’m not pathetic! Squall groaned and, at first, stirred just slightly, unable to regain the reigns on his own body, but as the footsteps of the other came closer to his head he finally managed to plant his palms flat to the floorboards and begin pushing himself up.

“Ha- The waif has some spunk in him after all!” Seifer exclaimed, sounding almost jubilant! Or at the very least excited. His eyes stayed glued to the one slowly lifting himself, the enticement racing in his grin and the muscles of his chest visibly tensing, preparing.

“I.. don’t want to fight you, Seifer…” he managed after finally steadying himself afoot, head still down. But as his head lifted there was something to those stormy blues that seethed agitation and unadulterated energy, yet at the same time.. A devout sorrow.

“Now that.. THAT is what I like to see, heh.” The grin on the blonde turned Cheshire before he leaned forward in a stance similar to a creature on the prowl, sizing it’s prey…
“Wh-what the hell are you talking about, Seifer?- I told you! I’m not interested in fighting you!” The more Squall lifted his voice the more he hunched forward, the very air pushed forward with the heavy words causing some stabbing pain into the middle of himself.

“Well, the it’s a good thing I’m not looking for you to fight- or protest for that matter.”

Squall’s lips were strewn to a frown, but said frown faulted now to the questionable air in the blonde’s tone and the oddness to the statement in general.

“Don’t look at me like that- You had to have known it was coming down to this…” the man’s voice dipped to a dangerous hiss as he rolled his right shoulder like someone getting ready to swing. But he had no intent of hitting Squall again. Oh, no, no. He approached the brunette with that ever arrogant expression and grabbed the collar of his uniform with both hands. “Ain’t gonna say anything, tough guy?- Good! I like it better when they just cry-” his words cut off when, in one sharp jerk, he tore the fabric of the jacket and underlying shirt all at once, exposing the brunette’s chest, but before Squall could protest OR be in shock Seifer shoved and spun him, yanking the torn material right off his hide!

“What the?!- Seifer!?!” Squall yelled, screamed even and was determined now to swallow his pain and swing right for the blonde’s jaw!

“ ?!” Seifer stumbled back a step, only slightly phased, albeit some blood now dripped off his thin bottom tier. The back of his hand came up and swiped it away, looking at the red smear with an almost befuddled look… Then laugh. “Ha- You sucker punched me… You fucker.”

“I have no idea what the hell is going on in your head, Seifer, but I’m not playing your games…”

“Way I see it, you ain’t got a choice, buddy boy.” Words spoken, the blonde went in again. And the brunette swung again… having his fist caught mid-air by the taller other, those oculi widened in shock. “Too predictable, Squally!” the blonde chirped and laughed practically in the face of the other before twisting the fist in his grip and using the other’s reflex to yank it up behind his back.
“I expected more-” He yanked the arm up even further behind the other’s back simply to hear him groan in agony, shoving his face into the nearest wall and pinning him belly-flat to it. “But… I guess this ain’t too bad….” the blonde purred, his free hand treating itself to the exposed side and partial hip of the other, fingertips gripping and groping firmly, yet… not rough at all.

Still, that wasn’t Squall’s cup of tea, his own freehand balling to a fist and jerking elbow back as hard as he could! “Seifer!”

“Uh-uh!” He’d take the blow with a smirk and laugh out loud before grabbing that arm and weaseling it into the hold he had on the other arm. He now had the other pinned to the point of no freedom, and at the same time a freehand of his own which repeatedly groped and moved along the other’s sculpted physique.

“S-Seifer!” Squall hissed, trying to break free but to no avail. In fact, the more he resisted the harder he found his cheek shoved against the wall.

“I always wanted to know what it was, Squall, that you had and I didn’t.. I never could see anything- let’s see if maybe it’s under these clothes, huh?” Seifer murmured right against the lobe of Squall’s right ear, that free hand still prowling and finally resting on the fly of the other’s pants. A swift and easy flick and swish of his wrist had the bottoms at their mercy and undone, pants steadily dripping down the other’s form.

“Stop this! Stop it, Seifer!” Protest after protest, Squall grit his teeth more and more. It didn’t take Seifer long to have the brunette’s slacks to his ankles, leaving him completely exposed, save those dark, silky undergarments of choice.

“Shut up and enjoy yourself…” was the only thing the blonde said before shifting his hand to his own devices- belts, buttons, and zippers. All were undone with ease and the taller man was quickly stepping out of his own bottoms, kicking them to the side afterwards…..