Just...Happy

Looking back, Eiri wondered if it hadn't been fate intervening into his life. He knew Tohma liked to think that Shuichi and the stress that Shuichi had brought with him had caused Eiri's health to decline, but Eiri didn't think so.

It wasn't Shuichi. It was Eiri himself.

He had been fighting against Shuichi, against change, against his own demons. It was the fight of his life and it was no wonder that his health had declined. He didn't want to look back and face his own past. He didn't want to think about his time in New York or that he'd killed his first love. He didn't want to admit that he had a great amount of hate for his brother-in-law because of all the Tohma had done, keeping it out of the papers.

He liked silence and his privacy. But when Shuuichi had left for a tour, he suddenly couldn't get any work done because it was too quiet and even the radio couldn't make up for Shuichi's absence. His privacy...of course he was in the media more often, but now instead of questioning why he went through so many women and was often seen outside his home, they talked about Shuichi and whether the two of them would kill each other eventually. Those questions were less invasive, Eiri thought.

The one part of his health that did improve was his eating habits. If Shuichi was home, he didn't bother with take out so much. He preferred to cook for his lover because it was one of few things he could do to make Shuichi happy. His doctor told him that eating more home cooked meals instead of his steady diet of beer and cigarettes helped with his ulcer and helped his medication work.

It took a couple of years before he realized that he smoked less than he ever had. Looking back, he didn't know why he cut back, but he was glad he had and that was a bitter pill to swallow. He was glad he'd cut back because he knew that too much smoking would ruin Shuichi's voice and...well, he didn't want that to happen.

As he left the clinic where he'd had his yearly appointment to make sure that his health was improving and that his ulcer wasn't getting worse, Eiri made a decision.

v^v^v^

"Shuichi?" he called as he shut the apartment door. Silence greeted him.

He left his shoes by the door and took the groceries into the kitchen. After it was put away, he took a shower before starting dinner. He hoped this wasn't one of those nights when Shuichi would be late or all his plans would be for nothing.

"Tadima!"

Eiri smiled. "In here, brat."

"Eiri?" Shuichi asked as he stepped in. "Did your appointment go okay? Your ulcer isn't coming back, is it? If it is, you can tell me! And if it's my fault, I'll stay at Hiro's until your better! Eiri! Why aren't you saying anything?"

Eiri kissed Shuichi, quieting the near hysterical words. When he pulled away, he smiled. "I'm fine."

Shuichi's eyebrows pinched together. "Why are you smiling? You never smile."

Eiri sighed and turned back to the stove. He dished up two plates. He wordlessly put them on the table and looked at Shuichi. Shuichi looked between the plates and Eiri a few times. He must've decided it wasn't poisoned, Eiri thought, because Shuichi sat and started to eat.

They ate in silence, just enjoying each other's company and Eiri wondered if it had been a boring day because his lover was usually full of stories. Maybe Shuichi was growing up a little. Eiri hoped it wasn't too much.

"I'll do the dishes," Shuichi said. He filled the sink and then turned back to grab the plates and the pan from the stove.

Eiri stood behind Shuichi and wrapped his arms around Shuichi. When Shuichi was done, they kept standing at the sink. Shuichi, unable to keep silent and still, turned in Eiri's arms. "Are you sure you're okay, Eiri?"

Eiri nodded and bent to kiss his lover. "Yes. I'm fine. Just...happy."

Shuichi took a few moments to read what exactly Eiri had been saying, but when he caught on, he smiled and hugged Eiri tightly. "I'm happy, too, Eiri."

It took some years and a lot of hard work, but Eiri knew he owed fate a favor for giving him Shuichi.