Love me

"Where is he?" It had been at least seven, the sun was already down and the air was already starting to fog with a freezing chill. The clouds had been dark all day, but no rain, thunder, or even lightning. For a matter of fact, it wasn't supposed to be cloudy at all.

Two hours have gone by since he was told to meet his lover here. There's only one port area that overlooks the sea, the one they always have lunch at.. the place they decided to take their relationship further...

"Hisoka!"

His thoughts had been shattered at the sound of Tsuzuki's usual obnoxious voice as he spun around to face him, "Asato!" He screamed, making even the passerby's jump, not so much as Tsuzuki who'd look absolutely petrified, "Where have you been?!"

"I, uh.. sorta... It was Watari's fault!!"

The boy placed a hand on his hip, and sucking in his teeth to make a 'tsk' sound, "You know, it's really not nice to blame people who can't even be around to DEFEND themselves, Tsuzuki..."

"Oh, right... I lost track of time, sorry?"

"So then are you going to tell me the truth this time?"

The brunette stood there, so silent that you could hear a pin drop before he lowered his head, "I.. was thinking how to word this all, Hisoka..."

The boy's eyes of anger slowly turned to worry as he walked over, placing a hand on the others arm, "Word what, Tsuzuki? Is there something wrong?"

"I... I don't want to... I don't want to!"

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, Tsuzuki. Tell me... what's wrong?"

As the brunette looked up into his lovers emerald eyes of worry, he began to search them, looking for a feeling, any feeling... but they had nothing. Stone cold.. dead eyes. Like a killers... "Like Muraki's," he murmered, "... dead.."

"Kazutaka?! What is it?! What did he do to you, Tsu--"

"It's in your eyes, Hisoka!"

"My eyes? What's wrong with them?" He started to panic, looking for anything that could show his reflection.

"I... I don't want to see you anymore!" The brunette yelled, as he turned, running away, yelling back to him, "Never again!!"

As he took a step forward to run after him, he was frozen by those two simple words.. 'Never again..' He backed into a post and slid down it staring off into the distance for a long while before he noticed all the passerby's stop, staring at him in silent pity. Usually it would bother him and he'd go off on them, but for once.. he didn't care. Only pulled his knees up to his chest, just to watch as all the citizen's scattered, as the freezing cold rain started to fall. All he could do was put his head down and hope for a sickness... for death to come to him in his sleep.

*************************************

"Hisoka? Is that you?"

He heard soft footsteps and then the sound of a thud beside him. The rain was still pouring, but much lighter than before. He looked up to meet eyes that were like his own.. only a little darker, "Hijiri?"

"It is you! What are you doing out here?!" He said, forcing the boy to his feet. "You're soaked to the bone!"

"Yes.. well, I was sleeping?"

"Sleeping?! This is no place to sleep, Hisoka! You need to get dry or you could get very sick," the violinist said, picking up his case and pulling Hisoka along with him, noticing that his friend went along willingly, which he would never do on a regular basis. He'd be yelling and pulling away, then probably would decide to hit him in the jaw before running away. Being with Tsuzuki seemed to bring out a bad temper in him.

Many thoughts crossed his head as before he reached him apartment building, dragging him up the stairs and then into his room where he sat him in a chair and his violin on the table beside him, "I'll go get you fresh clothes and then call Tsuz--"

"No!" He yelled grabbing onto his hand, "Don't call Tsuzuki.. he won't come, and please don't worry about me, I'll be fine."

"But.."

"Thank you for your concern, Hijiri, but I don't want you to worry about me, alright?"

"Why don't you want me to call Tsuzuki?"

"Well.. we, sorta, broke up.." he said quietly, letting go of the brunette's hand and dropping his hands to his side.

Hijiri placed his hand over his mouth, cursing at himself for saying something that was probably a sore subject, but.. they.. "You two are still partners."

"No.. Tsuzuki said he never wanted to see me again, so I guess I'm kind of out of a job." He said forcing a smile.

"Hisoka... where are you going to stay?"

"I haven't quite figured that out yet, but I'll figure something out, alright?"

Hijiri shook his head as he watched his friend raise to his feet and walk towards the door, slowly opening it.

He paused for a moment, waiting for the boy to say something, anything. He glanced back at the violinist, who was frozen, and without a word, he walked out, shutting the door quietly behind him and letting out a heavy and much needed sigh, before walking down the few stair cases' and out the door... Why would anyone want someone around was 'cursed'? He lowered his head to hold back a few tears, walking around the corner, into the alleyway.. hiding himself from the crowd of everyone that was alive and normal.


*******************************************

As the day went on and turned to night, his journey came to a stop, looking up along the driveway to a place he could once call his home... many, many years ago, "W-why?" his voice trembled while pushing back tears that wanted to be released from the pain, the horror that held the start to his fated life. Everyday that he felt the pain, that his own Mother thought of him as a monster, something that should've never been born, something that was dead to her.. her own son.

'Cursed, cursed... forever cursed..', those words always running through his mind, how many times he tried to comprehend why everyone thought they could somehow catch this curse that he was given.. as his mind wandered, he began walking through the grass, coming to a large tree that he ran his fingers over, coming along a dried and barely visible blood splatter. He shuddered and stepped back, falling against something..

His eyes widened as they looked to his right shoulder that was now being held onto.. that hand, it was.. "Kazutaka!" He spun around so fast that he had slipped on a rock, falling back against the tree, hitting the back of his head on it. His eyes lifted to the face that was only a blur, feeling a warm liquid that began to trickle down the back of his neck before everything became black.. "Help me... Tsu..zu..ki.."

"Mur..aki?... Muraki?"

"Is this something you needed, Mr Kurosaki?"

"That voice..." Hisoka slowly opened his eyes, looking ahead to see that familiar Devil that was dressed in Angel's clothes, "demon.."

"Well that's not very nice, considering your position."

He had slowly closed, then reopened his eyes. Lowered his head, he noticing all the thin strands that reminded him of two years ago. He jerked his head up, ready to throw a punch, but only to be restrained, the thin hairs tearing into his skin through even his clothing, causing him to cry out.

"Hm.. does it hurt?" Muraki said, adjusting his glasses and placing a smirk on his lips.

"OF COURSE IT DOES, YOU BASTARD!!" He screamed, only to have a strand pull at his throat, causing him to choke from a tear at the skin.

"My, my now. Apparently you have quite the temper, so I'll leave you here until you decide to behave," the silver haired man began as he turned, heading for the door and looking back, "how is three days, Mr. Kurosaki?"

"Please! No! Don't lea--" he ceased to speak as he heard the door slam shut and watched as everything went black, "Please.." he whispered before feeling another pull at his legs and then one at his right wrist.

*************************************

As the three days of slow, painful torture ended, he had already drifted off into a deep sleep from the loss of so much blood, when he tried to open his eyes, he'd found it quite hard, due to the tears that had practically sealed them shut. But he didn't want to open them, he didn't want to see the person that he knew was standing infront of him, feeling the pleasure of his pain.

"Mr. Kurosaki? Are you ready to behave now? Or do I need to lock you in here for five days?"

Hisoka's head lifted quickly, tears already welling up as he shook his head, he mouthed a 'no', afraid to speak.

"Then since I'm such a nice guy, I'll release you from these confines," he said as he worked them off one by one until he heard the boys nearly lifeless body fall to the floor. After a few moments of watching Hisoka's failed attempts to stand, he walked behind him, lifting him to his feet and holding him in place, "if you wanted help, you should've asked."

"N-no.. leave me alone, let go of me!" He said as he felt himself being pulled out of the room and up a stairwell to a double-doored room that Muraki pushed open. Within there was a large bedroom, with a bed bigger than he's ever seen before, it looked so comfortable and warm, like a dream. The carpet was embroided with a fancy design. Painted pictures on white walls and in the far corner, a collection of dolls?

The thought left his head as he felt his hair being pulled in the direction of the bed, "What are you.. ow! That hu--" he went slient as he felt his body being thrown onto the large bed, that was so soft and a little fluffy, a definate change from Tsuzuki's board of a bed, let alone any bed he's ever slept on.

"Do us both a favor and don't bleed on my bed. There's a shower through that door and change of clothing on the chair, get rid of those clothes. They aren't very suitable for someone who came from such a higher society family, Mr. Kurosaki." The man waved his hand back before he set out of the room, closing the door on him.

The boy's bright eyes scanned the room, quickly before Muraki mentioned about bleeding on the bed and the clothes that were indeed set nicely on a royal red chair with curved golden bars that held it. He waited until he heard the mans footsteps depart from the room before it dawned on him was he was... on Muraki's.. bed?! He went to quickly move off the bed, but as he did, his wrist gave out, leading him to get off of the bed and land head first on the floor.

"Damn that hurt!" He snapped as though it were the floors fault, raising his hand up to his nose that was bleeding, thinking of what that crazy Doctor would do to him if he dripped blood all over his carpet. He hurried as best to his feet and went stumbling into the bathroom, which had been very spacious, nearly the size that Tsuzuki's apartment was. On one side was a shower, on the other.. a bath, "Normally I'd love to take a bath, but with these cuts, it would really hurt," he said as he started undressing, some of the fabric from his clothes sticking to his skin due to the dried blood, which made him wince each pull.

After what seemed like a lifetime of needles pricking into him, he stepped into the shower, searching for a nob, only to find three lit up buttons. He first pressed the one to the left which sprayed freezing cold water on him, making him yelp before pressing the middle button that made the water a perfect lukewarm temperature. He washed and conditioned his hair with brands that he'd never even heard of and washed with some sort of soap that came from a pump, like hand sanitizer, and after at least two hours worth of showering and carefully cleaning his wounds, he grabbed onto two towels that had a note with his name on it, using one for his hair and the other for his body, peeking out into the room before grabbing the clothes and rushing back into bathroom.

"Hm.. he's been so nice to me, I wonder if he plans on killing me next? I guess that would be kind of hard considering he's already done that once, right?" With a long sigh, he finished drying his hair and tossed the towels into a basket with a few others, then tossing his torn up clothes into the trash before walking out and looking around for him. He was nowhere to be found as he began walking around the room, examining the painted pictures and a few scrolls that hung on the wall, lastly coming to the corner with all of the dolls. "They look so life-like. Beautiful.. and I don't even like dolls!" He said to himself before running his fingers along one of their cheeks, feeling the smooth, flawless shaped porcelin beneath his finger tips, then drawing one over to the long dark red curls, looking into honey brown eyes, "If I liked dolls, you would be my favorite."

"Admiring my collection, Mr. Kurosaki?"

His voice hadn't startled him as much as it had before, but he had been expecting it this time. He stood up and turned to him, looking up into those light blue eyes that almost stunned him, "I'm sorry. I didn't move them or break anything."

"If you had, you wouldn't be on your feet at this moment," he started, reaching over to pick the doll up off her sitting place and looking at her closely, before glancing back to the boy, who'd kept his eyes on him, without even blinking, "hm.. but I'm surprised that these little things could amuse you in the least bit, Mr. Kuro--"

"Please! I am sorry for interupting you, but could you not call me that?"

"Alright. Then Hisoka?"

"If you could," he said turning his head down a little embarassed that the silver haired man hadn't got mad in the least bit when he interupted him, "I would like that."

He smiled and placed the doll perfectly in her spot as though she had never been moved, before he smiled, giving him a nod, "Hisoka it is then, and you shall call me Muraki, rather than Kazutaka in return."

"Very well."

"So, changing the subject, how do they feel?" He questioned pointing to the pajama's.

He stood there and thought about it for a moment, they were actually pretty comfortable and, "they fit perfectly. Thank you."

"I hoped that they would. I thought of normal clothes, but they wouldn't be very comfortable when sleeping."

'They sure wouldn't' he thought to himself as he remembered reading the tag and seeing that they had been actual silk and they felt good against his skin as well as fit to were they hadn't been touching anywhere that was wounded from those strands, the thought angered him again. The piercing green eyes wandered the ground, thinking of a way to ask him that after pinning him up there, why was he being so, so nice to him?

Before the boy could say anything, the eyes of anger went to those of surprise, wide and alert as he felt arms encircle him, pulling him closer against him. His entire body stiffen as he felt Muraki's lips touch his only to lightly brush over his before leaning down to place a kiss on his neck.

"Mm.. vanilla with a touch of honeydew," he said, brushing his fingers up through the boys still damp hair, "I like it, it suits you."

After the kiss that had been placed on his neck, he began to loosen his body, using the older man for support as he closed his eyes, nodding slowly. "So you must've picked it out specially?" He asked, as he slowly placed his still wounded arms around the other and holding tightly on his shirt.

That devious smirk passed over his lips as he grabbed onto the boys hips and moved him to the other side of him, throwing him with ease onto the bed, hearing him gasp at the sudden movement, looking down to those scared bright eyes as he started with the button to his collar and moving down until his shirt fell open, "I have been waiting a long time to do this again, Hisoka. Especially after Asato let me down."

The fear in his face turned to anger as he sat up on his knees, staring his attacker dead in the eyes, "I see what you're doing! Trying to make me out to be just a play toy to pass you time! Until Tsuzuki would get jealous and want to steal you back!"

"For accusing me of something so horrible... I'm going to let you feel the pain of me thinking you're Asato. Perhaps I'll even call his name out," he said, a slight tone of anger rising as he went for his pants, feeling the boys hands reach out to stop him, pleading with his eyes. He shook the look off and pushed him back, making quick work with them and his under garments, grabbing onto the boys pants and pulling at them to bring the boy closer and jerking down his pants to his ankles and holding his hips tightly.

At the the moment his back hit the bed, lifted his hands to cover his face, feeling those familiarly strong and bruising hand settle on his still injured hips, "Please not again," he yelled into his hands as he made no attempt to escape.

"Quiet now, Hisoka.. if you want, you could imagine me being Tsuzuki," he said, slowly kneeling onto the bed, lightening his hold.

"Tsuzuki?" He questioned, dragging his soaken fingertips down his face, letting a few tears roll down the side of his face and behind his ears into his still slightly damp hair.

He waited until the boy had calmed, starting to lower his gaze to down, staring into the baby blues, then within the instant their eyes met, he tightened his grip again, dragging the boy against him, forcing himself into the the boy who's face had changed from a settled almost calm face to one of morbid horror. Watching him toss his head back and scream out each time he moved within the boy.

In the midst of his screaming, he reached his hands down to pull at the bed cover, throwing his head from side to side, as all of Muraki's hate filled his body and mind. He played foul by mentioning Tsuzuki, knowing that it would lower his guard. But he'd been the fool, the puppet, the toy for this Devil's amusement. He had practically allowed Muraki to trick him... and with the last throughts running through his head, one last scream tore from his strained throat, breaking midway. His back arched and head leaned back into the bed as he tried to find some way to numb the pain before feeling the wound on his neck break open, causing him to settle back on the bed and clasp both of his hands around it to stop the bleeding.

As he'd continued his onslaught of painful thrusts into the boy, tearing him from the inside out until the only lubrication had been the fragile teens blood, pouring out and onto is bed, he'd taken a glance up, puzzled as to why the boys screams had stopped but only to see his hands holding tightly on his neck, hues of crymson lining between his fingers. The mans eyes narrowed while he gave the boy one last thrust, the hot fluid surging within the body that spasmed beneath him.

The pain had been too much, death could be more appealing than this. Once again betrayed he thought as he felt the hot burst within his body, making him jerk his eyes wide with pain. He waited, holding back tears and any sort of outburst until the madman removed himself, bracing himself for a sharp withdrawl, but only to recieve a gentle and careful one before he rolled over on his side, his fear disappearing as the man removed himself from the bed.

He brushed his hair back and removed his glasses, dressing himself in his under garments and looking blankly at the blood mess that covered a small portion of his bed, then listened for that small sigh of relief the escaped the teen before he climbed back on, watching as the body stiffened, eyes of one who'd seen death for the first time... the eyes he first saw on him. He cleared his mind of emotion before laying down infront of him, removing the boys unwilling hands to see the blood that poured down and onto his bed, "Tsk, tsk, tsk.. I thought I told you not to bleed on my bed?"

This was it.. this was when he'd be put to rest by Muraki's hands, the man who he had feared moreso that anyone else, he looked deep into his eyes before closing them, feeling his body shift and the mans repositioning. Then something warm and moist running over his lightly slited neck, sucking at it to stop the flow ever so lightly. a cold hand running along his over heated cheek and into his hair. Even though he refused to look in his mind, his body wouldn't obey as he fluttered his eyes open, watching the man who'd just raped him, act so caring. He didn't understand, one moment he's as evil as death and the other, an angel.. why?

The taste had been so warm, rich and sweetened, but not too much. Just perfect, perhaps even finer than wine and as much as he wanted to continue, he was stopped. The bleeding had ceased and the wound had already started to close. Then the sudden feel of eyes watching him, he lifted his head to meet the bright eyes that had a glass-like glint to them, they were beautiful in the moonlight. He leaned over top of his prey, brushing his lips lightly against the boys, hearing a soft shudder emit from them, "How does that feel, Hisoka?"

He was speechless, the fear in him subsiding for only a moment before it rushed back at the feel of their lips touching lightly, the image of what happened before flashed infront of his eyes before his lips shook. He was afraid to answer, what if he answered wrong? He may end up back in that room.. His backside was in unbearable pain, but his neck felt as though it was never harmed at all, "I'm fine now. Thank you."

"Good. I hope I didn't hurt you too much?"

Was he crazy?! Of course he did! It was the worse pain in his life to feel his love for Tsuzuki swim through his body. He hadn't done anything to make him mad, maybe when he hugged him? But he did hurt him, he'd made him a bloody mess, how could he lie and tell him everything was alright? "You did." He said with his normal stone voice.

"Oh.." Was the only reply he could think of until he saw the boy's face turn red from anger, his eyes narrowing to make his usual bright green turn to a dark. His hand replaced itself to tangle his fingers in the boys soft hair before pressing a forcful kiss on his lips before pulling back and looking on at the boys blank face.

"Muraki..?" He whispered, feeling the mans lips leave his. His cheeks lit up a soft pink as he looking down to Muraki's chest that was shown by the opening of his dress shirt. He lifted a hand to place against the man's sun-deprived skin.. it was as smooth as the dolls faces. The other hand joined by touching his chest, hearing a slight gasp as he moved his hands underneath the shirt and behind him, fingers pressing against his skin lightly, tracing the muscles up and back down, finally reaching one around the mans neck and into his silver hair, "I.. there's something that.. I want, that.. I need.."

"What would that be?"

"You.." He breathed before pulling Muraki's body down on his and sliding his leg inbetween the others to hook around the back of the others leg and pull him down. The image of the older man's pale face, so surprised engraved into his mind before he allowed his eyes to fall shut, leaning his head up to meet his warm lips with Muraki's cold ones. They were cold as snow, but warmed almost immediately with contact.

That word echoed within his mind for a short time until he felt himself being pulled down on top of the small boy. His lips met the hot, soft, and extremely passionate ones of the boys. It was a hoax he thought as he sunk into the kiss, reminding himself that none of it was real, nothing. Hisoka would toy with him for a while and when he let his guard down, he'd run.. and he'd run fast. But maybe.. just maybe, this would prove to be... amusing.

He had felt a strange feeling of uneasiness forming in his stomach and working its way around his body. He pushed it away before forcing his tongue into the others mouth, which had proved to be much warmer than his lips. His tongue danced along Muraki's as he lifted his hips up, grinding them against the others already growing erection.

He had never imagined the boy to be a forceful one, only arrogant and demanding, but the moment their tongues touched, in had refueled the dying passion that had not even passed 30 minutes ago. He felt himself hardening again but as he moved a hand to place inbetween them, he felt the boys hips lift against him, hard, demanding attention. The pain welled up so much, he couldn't hold back the moan that made the boys lips form a smile on them, which didn't seem to sit well with him. He wanted to cause misery, not happiness.

Hisoka had moved one hand underneath the mans shirt to hold onto the back ot his neck, the other he used to draw him fingertips along the others back, first up and down, then in small circles and designes. He'd redirected his lips from the others to trail small kisses along his collar, want so much to just pierce his skin with his teeth, mark him as his, keep him close. This unruled feeling that was forming, causing him to think of the man who caused his death.. this murderer, with such an emotion. One that made his chest pound from within.

But everything has an ending, at least in Hisoka's life...

A small heated blush rose to the doctors pale cheeks as he felt the small touches of the boys soft lips along his neck and going down to his chest. He told himself this could not be happening... it just couldn't. He raised a hand up to wrap around the boys slender neck, pinning him down into the bad, as he watched his eyes go wide. He felt the hands that were soothing his back reach down to pull at his hand, listening to the gasps for air coming from the boy as tears began to form in his eyes, glazing over them, almost dead inside.

His vision began to become hazy as he took the last of his breath, watching up into that sinister face, the look of madness in his eyes told him everything. This would be the last thing he sees, Muraki really had wanted the finish the job, didn't he? He felt another hand brushing his hair in a caring way, as if to calm him. He could barely keep his eyes open to stay aware, listening to the mans words, "Just like a doll... my doll," before the strain was too much, he took one more look in those hateful eyes and mumbled the others name before everything went black..

Was this what death was like?

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

As he came to, he found himself laying on a cold mattress, he noted the lined stone wall that he faced seemed to be familiar, the mattress was slightly in better condition, he lowered his eyes to his clothing and his eyes widened. 'It can't be' he thought to himself before sitting up and turning around, looking out to the steel bars...

"N-no.. it can't be." He suddenly felt cold and alone as he hide in the corner, pulling his knees to his chest and dropped his head down placing his forehead to them. It was a dream, the freedom.. it was only a dream.. Tsuzuki.. Watari.. Hijiri..Tatsumi.. Kanoe.. HakuShaku.. everyone! They never existed.. even Muraki? No! He killed him! There... really hasn't any love.. he was such a fool.


For the past week he stayed in the same position, head down, not saying a word. The servents would bring him meals three times a day, only to be disappointed to see it hadn't been touched. He'd become unable to feel any part of his body due to the cold. He'd suffered without sleep and was edging on the brink to sickness. But he didn't care, why would he give his Mother the pleasure of poisoning him?

But why? Why had he been punished so severly for something he hadn't caused.. it wasn't his fault he'd been born with the curse. His thoughts subsided as he heard footsteps that stopped at the bars, followed by a jingling of keys. The person had leaned down to pick up the plate, in which he lifted his eyes to catch a pair of babydoll shoes that had been covered up by a black frilled dress as she knelt down, taking his untouched plate and replacing it with another. It had been... a girl? But it was always a man that came. But this time.. he noticed her pale skin and nails painted black. He lifted his head to see the young girl who's face had been filled with a sorrow, which surprisingly made him feel her pain.

When she had lifted her head to show green eyes that looked as she'd seen a ghost. She noted that the boy had looked severly unwell. His lips had been blue and his body close to matching it. His hair had been in a horrible condition and eyes that looked like glass. And after that moment, she hurried to her feet, dropping the plate of cold food on the floor to let it shatter as she ran out of the room, setting the keys on a hook and running for the door, slamming it shut, sending an echo through the basement.

He wondered what she was afraid of. Perhaps his Mother had told her about the curse that he had carried and that it was contagious. After thinking long and hard over it, he noticed the door had been left unlocked in the girls panic and this was his time to escape.. for good.

After a few tries, he had managed to slide up the wall and stumble over to the bars to push them open. Looking around to find it much more different than he'd remembered. Maybe it had just been that long.

It had seemed like forever before he made it to the door, pulling it and taking a few steps outside only to be greeted by... "Ka.. zu... taka?!" He managed to choke out.

He took a step forward to reach his arms around the boy who was shaking in fear and pulling his close, encountering a very weak struggle. "Hisoka.. you aren't well."

"What the hell do you expect?! Locking me up... and.. and.. LET ME GO!!" He screamed, which had only sounded as if he raised his voice.

With that, the man picked the boy up and carried him up the stairs and through the hallways, returning to his own room and setting him down lightly. Throwing him on the bed like he had before might result in a few broken bones.

The frail boy sat with a stabbing glare, watching the man carefully.

"Hm.. you look as though you are ready to murder me, Mr. Kurosaki."

"Believe me.. I would love nothing more than to send you to Hell.. where your kind belongs!"

"My kind?" He asked confused as he began to remove his suit and tossing his clothes in a basket. "Now what 'kind' would that be?"

"Sadistic, murderous bastards!" He yelled before noting the Doctor had been removing his clothing and widened his eyes, remembering what happened last time in this room. He closed his eyes, remembering it painfully. He'd been played for a fool. When he opened his eyes, the man was gone?

Just then the shower had started and a few clinking sounds came from within the bathroom. The warmth of the upstairs had made his blood begin to pump once again as he crawled off of the large bed that he so much wanted to sleep in. He hurried around the room, searching through the many dressers until he came across a weapon. It had been a dagger with a golden handle and jeweled hilt.

He walked slowly into the bathroom holding the dagger up high and ready to attack as he opened the shower door, a big gust of steam came out, blinding him until it had cleared, revealing the old man standing there. His skin was usually so pale, but looked more flushed in the heat, his face wore no expression as if he'd been expecting him. But he'd not expected Muraki like this! He was beautiful, standing under the water like some sort of Godly being..

The trance had lasted until he found a warm hand being placed on his cold cheek, where he closed his eyes and nudged into it. Without any second thoughts, he dropped the weapon on the floor and relaxed is shoulders to where his robe fell off, followed but the feeling of him being pulled forward, underneath the warm water that seemed to be only a fantasy compared to the cold he'd had to endure through this long sleepless week.

Once the door had closed, he opened his eyes to search around him for any weapons and after finding none, he looked up into those baby blues that had been looking down to him. He watched the smile form upon the mans lips and leaned into him, laying his head against the others chest.

"Muraki?"

"What is it, Hisoka?"

"If I told you something... promise not to lock me up again?"

He mind cleared to focus on what the boy could tell him. After pondering over the fear that it could be three meaningful words, he sighed, "Lets wait until later?"

He frowned at the response he got, but before he could protest, he felt Muraki's strong hands, rubbing through his hair and massaging the shampoo through his sweat soaked hair. After he continued for a few minutes the bliss had been taken away and followed by a spray of water that washed his hair clean, running his fingers through the hair until he felt it 'squeak' clean before returning it to a base above the showerhead. when he looked back down, his blue met Emerald and he nearly lost his breath.

The two had stood still for a quiet while before the silver-haired man turned off the water and opened the door, waiting for the steam to clear before he stepped outside and grabbed onto two towel, the first drying his hair and the the other to dry his body and wrap around his waist. He then pulled two others out and handed them to the boy who took them slowly before taking his leave from the bathroom.

Hisoka stood there for a good while until the room had grown cold enough to run a chill through his body before he stepped out and began to dry himself off. 'Maybe I should refrain from asking or telling him anything' he thought to himself before looking down to the kimono he'd been wearing. The bored look in his turned into anger as he picked it up and through it into the trash, walking out to see the man sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the dolls.

He turned his head to the side and looked down on a chair that had a pajama set with his name written on a slip of paper on top of them. He gave a small smile before picking them up and changing. After tossing the damp towels into a basket on top of the others, he crawled on the velvet sheets and across them to the other man as he stood on his knees and cautiously hugged him from behind.

"Hisoka.. what did you want to tell me?"

He froze wondering if he should speak his mind or stay quiet. He'd already been pinned up to a wall for trying to run and idiotically fell into a tree, then when he showed him affection, he ended up living his worst nightmare all over again. What would he do if he did or said anything more?

"Hisoka?" He asked before looking back to him. He was significantly pale as it was due to his refusing into eat. But before he continued, he slid around and pulled him close, falling to the side to lay down.

After the moment of silence, he finally eased down and shifted himself into a comfortable position, reaching a hand out to brush his fingertips along Muraki's pale skin, that had been warm and soft,"I don't know how to say it." He finally replied, lifting his other hand to remove the mans glasses and set them on the nightstand beside them.

As his glasses had been removed and set aside, he lowered his eyes looking at the still far space inbetween them while sitting up. He traced a hand along the boys side and up to the back of his head, grabbing a tight hold onto his hair and pulling on it, listening for his cry of pain.

As soon as he felt that strong tug on the back of his hair, hands reached back to grab onto his wrist and hand, trying to make him release his grip. "W-why?" He finally asked along with a cry, not able to stand the pain anymore, "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I don't need a reason to do this, Hisoka. Other than to hear you cry and beg to be released."

After feeling a few strands break from the scalp and having nothing else to say, he ceased his struggle from the mans wrist and reached them up around his neck, pulling himself up until his cheek laid against the others, "I love you, Muraki," he whispered before he lost his grip and fell back onto the bed, "no matter how much you hurt me.."

"Why? That's just foolish."

He rubbed the back of his head before sitting up and coming face to face with the other. His emerald eyes locked onto Muraki's sapphire, "I must be a fool then," he started before catching Muraki's hand from the corner of his eye. Then as it laid softly against his cheek, his eyes welled up and he lifted his to land a solid smack on the older mans, "but that makes you the King of Fools, Muraki Kazutaka."

As he felt the stinging heat radiate from beneath the boys hand and listened to him call him a fool he felt the urge to hit him back, toss him back behind bars to rot away without a second thought, kill him in any way possible.. He deserved to be punished for doing such a thing to someone who has cared for him, "Hisoka?"

Pushing his tears away and pulling his hand back, that had equally been putting him through the same stinging pain, he took a quick glance at the mark before his eyes found their way back to the silver-hair mans. "Muraki? What is it?"

"I think you are the fool," he began lifting a hand to bring it softly against the boys cheek, watching the other flinch under his touch, "for loving someone who can't, no, won't love you back," he finished, removing his hand and replacing his glasses back on, turning his back to the boy to get off the bed.

Hisoka's emerald eyes had lit up a of a burning fire as he reach out and grabbed onto the mans sleeve. "No! I am not a fool!"

"You are!"

"Why do you say that? How could you say that?!"

"Understand this, Mr. Kurosaki. I do not want to be loved. So save it, or else I'll continue to call you a foolish child."

Raising his other hand, he placed it over his eyes that were filling with tears. "I really am an idiot," he stated, releasing Muraki's sleeve and sliding off the bed and to his feet, "how could I think anything in my life could go... right?"

Lowering his eyes to the sight of a crying boy, he felt almost guilty. The boy had had a hard life, being cursed, having parents that think you are a monster, feeling the pain and hate of everyone around you.. his wandering mind snapped back into reality at the sound of the door slamming shut, "Hisoka?!" He followed out the door, through the hall, and down the stairs until he reached the foyer, catching the boy by the arm before he stepped outside, "Where are you going?"

"Let go of me! I don't want to be here!"

"I won't! Tell me where you're going!"

He lifted the free arm up to land a punch, weak but still effective, on the elder man's jaw, causing him to stumble back, yet keep his grasp on the boys arm. "I'm going to beg Tsuzuki to take me back!"

Eyes wide in disbelief, he pulled him back and to his side, practically tossing him on the floor and slamming the door shut. "Why?! He didn't want you. That's why he dumped you, isn't that right? So why would he take you back?"

"I don--"

"He wouldn't. Then where would you go? You have no 'real' home, Hisoka."

"If you're expecting me to stay here, you're crazy! I have gone on long enough without love! I-I deserve it!!" He screamed loud enough to earn an echo before standing up and stomping over to him only to collapse against him, closing his eyes tight.

"I am clinically unwell," he replied, lifting the boy up to craddle in his arms and heading back up the stairs, "I've known that for years."

"You're insane." He corrected him as he felt himself being laid back down on the soft bed followed by covers dropping overtop of him and neatly being pulled to his shoulders and tucked under.

"Maybe I am," he started while he brushed the back of his hand acrossed the boys forehead, brushing away dampened bangs before placing a feather-like kiss upon it.

He let out a silent sigh before his eyelids fluttered open, expecting a sinister smile to greet him, but only to see a small smile across his lips. "Though if you're insane, then I must be psychotic."

A brow had lifted to his comment and then dropped as he sat down on the bed, shifting to lay beside him on top of the sheets giving the boy a nod to his comment, "Tell me why you're psychotic."

He scowled at the blankets that separated the two of them before throwing it off from the other side and crawling half over top of the Doctor, laying with one leg inbetween his and a hand fitted with the others, cuddling against his side, "Because I love you..."

His body stiffened as he turned his head away, shaking it. "Don't, Hisoka.. don't.."

"Why? I want you to love me... or at least.. care a little.."

"Why me? Why after what I did to you?"

"I can't explain why. Though I do know that I am tired of not having anyone.. not being loved," he said as a tear rolled down from his cheek onto the silver-haired mans shirt, causing him to turn and shake his head, "I thought Tsuzuki would be my special one... but I was wrong.."

"You feel as though it was a dream for someone to care about you that much. But all dreams must end, Hisoka."

"Well I don't want this one to end!!" He yelled and climbed on top of the other, knocking his glasses off and forcefully pressing his lips against his.

The moment Hisoka's lips touched his own, their eyes locked and he lifted his arms to place them over the boys small waist, lifting his head to meet the boys demand of lust. A hand wandering beneath the boys silk shirt, rubbing small circles along the soft skin

It wasn't long before the light touches got to him. He reacted by giving a murmered groan and thrusting his tongue into his lovers mouth, sliding the muscle along in sync with the others, tangling them together along with their bodies, earning him a sure place underneath the other. The kiss had been broken as a string of saliva that connected between their mouths, feeling as though it were pulling them back into an even more fierce kiss.

As quick as the flick of the wrist, he'd rid them both of their clothes, leaving nothing other than his own open shirt, which didn't stop the brunette from drawing his fingers from the waist, past his chest and onto his shoulders, squeezing tightly when he he felt the silver-haired man lower his body onto his, purposely pressing their erections together, listening to the scream that came from Hisoka's throat, who'd broke their kiss.

His head jerked from side to side, moaning and screaming at the pleasure that he felt when they grinded their hips together, feeling the drops of pre-cum that fell along his stomach, forming together with the sweat. He pushed his body up the bed, whimpering at the loss of pleasure before quickly reaching both hands down to take hold of the others swollen member and guiding it inside of his body. Emerald eyes squeezed tightly at the pain before he found his legs lifted well over his head, being pushed into even further.

Cobalt eyes met with the boys wide emerald eyes as he moved himself in as far as he could go at the speed. He waited until the boys lids lowered halfway over his eyes before pulling his hips back gently and then jerking them forward, earning him a scream that began with pain and ended with pleasure. He continued the motion over and over until he'd hit the boys prostate, turning the screams to moans of complete and utter bliss.

As the onslaught went on, he found himself unable to bear the pain of his erection, grabbing onto it tightly with one hand and moving it with the older man's motions. His other hand wondered down inbetween his legs, using his index and middle finger to pull the skin even further apart, placing his thumb just settling inbetween to intensify each movement inside of him, causing the Doctor to moan and pick up the speed.

Between the moans and gasps, he reached his hand down to help the boys efforts, brushing his finger just over the slit to make him shudder. He lifted his thumb to his lips and slid his tongue out, licking along it before lowering his hand and rubbing the slick digit just once more over the top, causing all the pressure that built up to explode over his stomach and onto the others chest, shooting in a small series of strings, one of them splattering along his blushing cheek and a drop just off his bottom lip.

His own face lit up a deep scarlet at the vision before him, causing him to give one more push and empty himself in one heated shot that caused a scream to echo throughout the halls of the mansion. He managed to keep himself up by his arm until he pulled the boy into his arms, meshing the sticky liquid inbetween then and fell onto his back, holding the brunette tightly against him before giving him a kiss on his cheek.

The hold, the kiss, the pain and pleasure... the bliss of it all. Tears came welling up inside of his eyes, letting the nearly flood rush down his face and onto the other ivory skin. Taking a long moment to wipe them away and stare into the mans eyes, "Muraki... Love me?"

He turned his head to the side and tightened his hold around the boy, turning to look back into those teary, hurt eyes. He gave a nod and frowned, "I love you, Hiso--" Before his sentence was finished, his words were sealed by Hisoka's soft lips. 'I do... I really do love you.. Hisoka..' he thought before sinking into the others kiss.

~~Owari~~
Should there be a Part II?