Blurry memory

Whew... I started writing this story years ago and I guess I wanted to do something long and definitively with plot... but you know... life has these vortexes, where stuff gets forgotten... fortunately tidying your own folders and documents is a must from time to time so this kinda popped up... I reworked the first part a bit (until where the smut begins XD) but not much more like scanning it for mistakes and stuff that wasn't really logical and finished it as something between a story and PWP... enjoy! Hot smut between a (young) Allen and Kanda... massive OOC-ness but come on... that story's old...
btw. I like reviews...


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Kanda woke up as he heard a voice. His sight was blurred at first but very soon he could recognize the supervisor’s face very near to his face. That gave him a fright and he crept away very fast. Supervisor Komui made an apologizing face and said:

“Ne, Kanda? Do you remember anything that happened yesterday after you came to my lab and reported your mission?”

Annoyed by such a stupid question, Kanda answered angrily:

“Of course I do! I went back to my room!”

“Are you sure that’s all? Nothing unusual happened? Did you meet someone?”

“Why do you want to know?”

“I’ll explain later on. Just tell me!”

“Alright … hmm, let’s see. On the way I met Lenalee, Lavi and the old bookman. I chatted for some minutes with them about the mission they’re going to complete in two days. Then I left them and went to my room … I guess?”

“What do you mean by ‘I guess?’”

“Something’s odd… I remember clearly going up the stairs and coming to the hallway, but then everything gets blurry…”

“Do you really remember nothing at all?”

“Nope, I don’t know how I got into my room… wait, I remembered something… there was a person… can’t remember the face… we barely talked and then…”

Suddenly Kanda blushed deep red. He tried to say something but couldn’t utter a word. He covered his mouth with his hand and just mumbled:

“Oh my God… Oh my God… What did I do? … How?”

Then he looked at supervisor Komui and asked:

“What happened? Did I really …?”

Komui sighed and scratched his head. After some seconds he answered while not looking at Kanda:

“The problem is that even I don’t know what really happened. Yesterday when you came in my lab, I was analyzing and reproducing a new drug. A first result was in a glass right in the near where you stood. I recall that you asked for some water and I just said to help yourself. This morning I noticed that one of the glasses containing failed results was empty but I don’t have any memory of reusing or throwing it away. My conclusion was that you must have drunken it. This is why I asked what happened to you after you left me.”

“Yeah, I recall having drunken a glass of something that looked and tasted like water in one of the glasses. What kind of effects did it have?”

“Well… that depends on the person. The most simple explanation is that it awakens one of three basic instinct. The most common is hunger: the drugged person will go and eat everything he finds until he or she is full. Then comes aggressiveness: the person will hurt every person he or she sees.
And the last but the rarest effect is sexual desire: the person will just grab the person he or she is the most attracted to and… well, I guess you can figure the rest. Although I have to say that it could have been something else because it was only a first result and not the real thing.”

“… which one do you think it was?”

“You won’t like it, but I think it was either the second or the third one. I already checked up on the food store and the canteen but everything was alright. There have no attacks, missing or hurt people or any sign of violence been reported to me yet. But this facility is huge so you could have…”

Kanda interrupted him:

“Stop it. I roughly know what happened last night.”

He couldn’t bear to face Komui and stared at the ground. Komui said nothing for a short time, then he stood up and went to the door. Before he opened it, he added:

“So far I haven’t got any complains. Do you remember who it was?”

Kanda just shook his head.

“Then try to figure out as much as possible and come to me later on. We’ll find out who you aggressed and you’ve got to apologize as well I have to.”

Then Komui went out. Kanda just sat on his bed and looked at his room. Only now he realized what a mess it was. The bed sheets were everywhere, stuff was lying on the floor and Kanda wore nothing else but some loose pants. He scratched his head and started tidying up. While he did so his memories became more numerous and clearer but it still wasn’t enough to recognize who it was. After he had finished he lay down on his bed and tried to sort out his thoughts. If he assembled his memories correctly, he had seen someone just before he had gotten to his room. They had talked but he couldn’t remember the voice. From what he could tell the person was quite small and had a fair skin and hair. The next memory he had was the struggle of that person as he took away his or her clothes. There hadn’t been much strength. Or had he been just much more powerful? It was so hard to tell. Kanda turned to the side and suddenly a sweet smell came to his nose. Was that the scent of that person? It wasn’t perfume at least but a normal human scent. But it made Kanda remember more things. He remembered that person seemed to have pain. And the fine back and those arms, everything of what he could recall of that person’s body had been so small and slender. Almost as if it could break at any time. Then no memories anymore.

Kanda sighed. He was just on his way back from supervisor Komui’s office and in spite of what he had been able to remember so far search had given no results. Kanda wished he could at least know whether it had been a woman or a man. He came by the canteen and decided to have something to drink. He was just sipping his tea when Lenalee and Lavi walked past and he overheard their conversation:

“Ne, Lavi, do you think Allen is ok.? He was pretty beat up when he came home late yesterday.”

“I guess he’s ok. You can’t kill that guy although I haven’t seen him yet today.”

“What did he….”

The rest of the conversation didn’t matter to Kanda as suddenly an answer came to his mind: Allen was small, with fair skin and hair and a slender frame. On top of that he had been very tired and wouldn’t have put up much of fight. Kanda didn’t like that solution but Allen fitted every criteria. He sat there for about an hour, struggling with himself whether he should go and ask or not. If Allen wasn’t that person Kanda would have revealed an embarrassing secret and if Allen was that person… he didn’t want to think about it. Then he came to the conclusion that asking was better than doing nothing. Kanda stood up and went to floor where Allen’s room was. He waited for a moment until nobody was around and slipped into his room.

The light inside of Allen’s room was dim and soft. The decorations in that room seemed very creepy at first but soon they became without importance. Kanda took a deep breath and turned towards Allen’s bed. Allen was laying there asleep. His breath was almost inaudible and his face seemed peaceful. Kanda squatted down and took a closer look. As he watched more and more details seemed to pop up.

He had never noticed Allen’s long lashes and how delicate his lips were. The hair that he had always judged as white was in fact almost transparent and gave off a slight silver shining. Under his eyelids his eyes moved furtively and that fine tremor could be seen on the lashes which almost touched his cheeks. The curse mark had the same color as blood but it didn’t look like a scar but more like a tattoo. The hand that seemed too small to take up any weapon clutched innocently the white bed sheet. Kanda didn’t have to ask himself or Allen what had happened yesterday, he knew it had been him.

But he still had to apologize or it would haunt him forever. No, that night would haunt him forever but at least he wanted Allen to be able to put an end to it. So he just sat next to his bed and waited. Somehow appeased by not having to worry about who it had been all the tension from before fell from his shoulder and he slept in.

Kanda woke up as something tickled his face. Still half asleep he turned his head to where it came and suddenly felt something warm and soft on his lips. Now completely awoken he saw what was happening: Allen had woken up and was kissing him. Kanda crept away abruptly and couldn’t say a word because of the shock. Allen looked at him with a slightly mocking expression and said:

“You weren’t this shy yesterday evening.”

“A- Allen? Why did you…?”

“Oh, that? I just felt like it.”

He rolled on his back and let his head hang over the board of his bed. Both said nothing for a while then both wanted to say something:

“Kanda! You…”

“Allen! I…”

Both shut up confused then Kanda gave Allen a sign to speak first. Allen opened his mouth and wanted to say something but then he decided otherwise and turned towards the wall. Nobody said anything for a while. Kanda was lost in thoughts of how he should apologize and what that kiss meant. Had it just been a joke? Some kind of revenge? Or was it…? Allen interrupted his thoughts:

“Kanda? I’m cold.”

Kanda looked at Allen and saw that he had stretched out a hand to him while still facing the wall.

“Won’t you warm me up?”

Surprised by this sudden and strange request Kanda couldn’t do anything. Then Allen said with a more pleading voice:

“Please.”

Kanda felt as if he had no control over his own body when he stood up and came next to the bed. His throat and his mouth were dry and his fingers strangely clumsy as he took off the cloak and his shoes. Both his hand and Allen’s shook slightly as they touched. Then their fingers intertwined and if felt as if was the most natural thing for these hands that were so different. Kanda lay down and at first he didn’t dare to come closer. But all his defenses fell as Allen pulled his arm around him. Kanda pulled Allen’s light body closer to him as they lay there without saying anything. Allen wore only an open shirt and his slip and Kanda could feel the firm yet soft butt touching his most sensible area. Being this close he could smell the sweet scent that Allen’s body gave off and he remembered more of what had happened the night before. Before he could think of something else he became hard. Allen felt the hard bulk against his butt and he turned his head around. Kanda’s face was deep red and showed a flustered expression. Kanda didn’t want to look into Allen’s eyes and looked instead at the ceiling.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I won’t do anything to you. This time I can control myself.”

Allen laughed softly and turned around. He smiled in a way that Kanda had never seen before and kissed Kanda again. So soft, so furtively that it felt almost like the wing of a butterfly. Then he snuggled up into Kanda’s arms. Kanda was surprised at first but soon he started to like it and he kissed Allen on his forehead. Allen smiled like a mischievous cat and said:

“It looks like we have to something about this.”, and grabbed Kanda’s dick.

Kanda gasped: “Wait, no! You, you don’t have to do anyth…”

Allen put a finger on Kandas lips.

“You don’t have to feel guilty, Kanda. I really liked it yesterday. It was surprising and I also noticed that you weren’t yourself. But you have to know that I liked you for a long time now.”

“But I hurt you!”

“We’re both men. It always hurts more or less but don’t worry about that, the pleasure is worth it.”

Allen sat up and rode on Kanda’s hips. Kanda could feel his dick pushing against Allen’s butt and got even harder.

“Look at me, Kanda. Look at my body. It’s all yours to take.”, and with these words Allen let his shirt fall from his shoulders.

Kanda sat up and took Allen’s face in his hands. At first their kiss was the same as before, slight, soft, furtive. But soon they took the game further and their kisses became deeper, wilder and more forceful. Kanda kissed Allen’s neck while Allen loosened Kanda’s hair up. With impatient fingers they took off Kanda’s shirt and Kanda licked Allen’s ear.

“Not there, please, it tickles!”, moaned Allen.

Kanda smirked and rubbed Allen’s nipples.

“Is this better? It’s amazing how sensitive they are.”

Allen moaned at the touch as Kanda put him down on the bed and pulled his pants away. His dick was rather small but it stuck up in arousal. First Kanda just tickled it with one finger but then he took it into his mouth and played with his tongue while gently massaging his balls. Allen grabbed Kanda’s head while arching up his body. His whole body shivered in pleasure and little shrieks and moans escaped from his open mouth. His hands loosened their grip on the raven’s hair and started to trail down on his back.

“St- Stop … it… I- I’m going… to cum..”

Kanda smirked at the panting voice and started nibbling softly all the way up the teen’s throbbing cock. Just as he reached the head and swirled his tongue around it Allen came, crying his name out loud. The pearl white cum plastered his body and some drops had even reached his blushing face. In the haze of ecstasy the silver haired boy slumped his arched body back onto the bed, panting and shivering uncontrollably. His raven love smiled while swallowing and licked the cum on his face away. Allen opened his eyes a bit when their lips met and watched the older man through his silver lashes.

He admired this clean and pure skin now covered in a thin screen of sweat and a musky smell. The samurai with the long jet black hair had attracted his attention from the very first moment they had met. Although they had started on a common hate relationship Allen had very soon known that he had a deep crush on Kanda Yuu. But he would have never admitted it out of fear of being rejected and hurt again. When he had met the man in that empty floor and during their usual exchange of insults he had come to enjoy so much Kanda had suddenly pinned him against a wall and ravished his mouth in a forceful and passionate kiss.

Allen remembered his fear when the samurai had dragged him in his room. His strength had been drained by the mission so the only thing he had been able to do was to make sure he wouldn’t get hurt too much. He had noticed the obvious drugged state of his forceful love and had thought that under normal condition this would never happen so he enjoyed as much as he could. Later he slipped out of the room and went back to his own room completely wasted and exhausted. When he had woken up in the afternoon he had found the samurai asleep leaning against his bed. At first he had been unable to decide what to do but his body had acted on his own.

The need for air broke Allen’s trail of thoughts and he pushed Kanda a bit away. The raven wasn’t dishearten by it because he started kissing his jaw line and neck. Allen moaned under the gentle administrations and shivered as hot breath predicted every spot that was about to be kissed, sucked, nibbled and licked. Suddenly Kanda lifted his left arm up and kissed the embedded cross with the delicate skin surrounding it. The silver haired teen gasped at this unexpected gesture. No one had ever touched his ugly hand so intimately and gently. Even his best friends would be somewhat taken aback of touching it without the glove. And now Kanda, the man he had thought would hate him more than anything else apart akumas, was kissing, licking it and finding those small spot that made him tremble with pleasure.

Kanda looked at those red eyes that looked so surprised at him doing such a thing. He was amazed at how much he could read in them. So much pain, so much loneliness and yet so much longing and love stirred behind those burgundy irises who drowned his world in a blood red and snow white color. He looked at his blood stained hands on this creamy white skin that seemed so innocent and pure while yet having been drenched so many times in sinful blood and dirt. It was then that he knew why he was so attracted to this boy. Allen was his light, his place of pureness that would never surrender to any assaults of this cruel world. He seemed so fragile against all this hostility that Kanda wanted to surround him with his whole self to protect and love as much as he could with his cursed fate.

Allen’s hand started to have a life on their own and trailed down the marvelously trained torso of his lover. He could feel the muscles tighten and relax under the passage of his finger and he pressed against the bulk in those tight fitting trousers, drawing a moan from Kanda. The raven stopped pleasuring his hand and Allen took this opportunity to open the trousers of his lover who smirked and helped him get rid of the restricting clothes. Soon he was naked too and lay down on the bed as Allen crawled over him. With a tentative lick he tasted the tiny pearl of precum on the glistening head of the erect cock. It was bitter like dark chocolate and Allen wanted more of it so he started licking it from base to top before taking it into his mouth. Kanda gasped at sudden hot and wet heaven that lowered itself onto his cock and almost forgot what he had wanted to do. Only when Allen let go his cock for a second with an erotic wet pop he managed to redress himself a bit and parted the firm buttocks of the small offered butt.

While Allen continued to pleasure him with his mouth that had problems with taking him in completely he started to lick over the puckered entrance. After a few seconds he slipped his tongue into that velvet passage, drawing a little gasp from Allen. He continued to swirl his wet muscle inside that hot and tight hole feeling how the rhythm of his lover started to fall apart. He took out his tongue and licked two fingers until a copious amount of saliva covered them. The teen’s body tensed up as Kanda slipped one finger slowly and gently inside of him.

“Does it hurt, Allen?”

“N-No… it’s just… weird…”

Kanda introduced a second finger and began to carefully scissor the teen’s velvet hole, not wanting to hurt him again like the previous night. The silver haired boy mewled at the strange feeling and began to push back a little. When Kanda arched his fingers a bit and brushed against that hidden sweet spot Allen shrieked and couldn’t hold himself anymore on his hands. His upper body slumped down as he was shaking uncontrollably and curling his toes while his raven lover assaulted his prostate with his fingers. Allen wasn’t even able to continue sucking at Kanda’s dick, he only grinded his forehead against his hip bone and stroke it every now and then in an irregular rhythm.

“Aaaahhh… no… more. I… I’m… aahhh… inside…”

He didn’t make any sense anymore and Kanda decided that it was enough. He slipped under Allen away and lay him down onto the bed. The silver haired teen’s body was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen laid out before him in all its naked, aroused and flushed glory. He sucked at one of the erect rosy nipples, making Allen gasp, before gently lifting up his hips and letting them rest on his thighs , aligning his cock with the puckered entrance of the boy.

Allen clenched his hands into the bed sheets while remembering how painful the unprepared entrance of the previous night had hurt at first. He didn’t know if he was scared or if he was just anticipating what would come next and yet he still wanted to have something to hold on. Looking into those deep eyes of the raven he saw the earnest concern for his wellbeing. Before Kanda could call the whole thing off because of his worries, he reached up for him and kissed him softly on the lips.

“Baaaaaakanda, I want this just as much as you so don’t hold back.”

Kanda laughed softly at the nickname and whispered onto his lips:

“Hold onto me.”

His lips captured his uke’s bruised lips while beginning to push in. He could feel the younger’s body tense up as the head passed that tight ring of muscles. He swallowed the moan and pushed a bit further. Stopping to let Allen get used to his cock he trailed butterfly kisses over the panting face until the teen nodded to him. He pushed farther in that deliciously hot and squeezing body until he was at mid-length of his cock. Again he wanted to wait for Allen but his lover had decided otherwise. With one hard and fast upward jerk of his hips the young exorcist sheathed his lovers cock all the way in.

Allen moaned loudly and almost cursed his idea of wanting to get it over fast. His back arched while some teardrops formed at the corner of his eyes. Red half moons had been scratched into that perfect skin by the nails he had dug into his lover’s skin. He tried to relax but his breath was still too fast. Suddenly soft lips trailed over his face, his lids squeezed shut, kissing every spot a thousand times and collecting all those little tears. Allen felt himself relax and accommodate to his breached state. The breath trailing over his skin was hot and panting and from the heightened pace of Kanda’s chest moving at the rhythm of his breathing told him that his sudden move had affected him too.

After a little while he pulled Kanda in for a long and deep kiss, mapping out the mouth of the other and dancing with the tongue. Without words Kanda understood him and began to thrust slowly and at an steady pace. The first few ones hurt more than they did pleasure but that feeling vanished as soon as Kanda hit his sweet spot. Allen arched his back to his lover’s torso, breaking of the kiss and crying his pleasure out loud. His mind went blank as Kanda repeated the same move and slowly picked up the pace. After a few second Kanda was pounding Allen into the bed with a strength that was just enough not to break him.

The throaty cries of lust, pain and pleasure filled the room while Allen cried out his soul on the verge of completion. As Kanda felt that he wouldn’t last much longer, he grabbed Allen’s neglected cock which had been hard since a while and began stroking it at the same pace as he thrust in and out of him. Suddenly the inner walls of Allen became impossibly tight as the silver haired boy screamed out his orgasm with his lovers name on his lips. After a few more thrust in that delightful hole Kanda emptied himself and coated Allen’s inside with his semen.

They both stayed in the position they were in and panted heavily. Kanda’s now limp cock slipped out of Allen with a wet noise before the raven let himself fall on the bed next his small lover so as not to crush him. He pulled him nearer enclosing him his arms as if to protect him from the cruel reality. With a lazy movement the silver haired pulled the sheet over them and snuggled up to the raven before falling into a long and deep sleep, watched over by the samurai who drifted off and out of the very edge of oblivion.

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