Past the Limit

1961
Tsuzuki sat on his bed naked. The lights were off. Dozens of candles blazed on the floor, night tables and dresser. He looked up at Tatsumi. The younger shinigami stood with the room‘s shadows frolicking around him. He unknotted his tie and took it off.

"We acted out my fantasy last night." He said unbuttoning his shirt. "You've been hinting around that you want to try something new, and I'm willing to at least hear you out. What is it that you want?"

"Rape me." Tsuzuki said.

"What?" Tatsumi sounded shocked.

Tsuzuki decided to be less aggressive. He pouted and made the little puppy whine that practically guaranteed he would eventually get his way. He scrunched down a little to look sad and small.

"It's my fantasy." He said in a slightly sulky voice. "I'll fight you and you'll force me. I like the idea of you being unable to control your baser desires, because of me."

Tatsumi sighed. "You'll need a safe word."

They had played before, lovely little games with spankings, bondage and shadows, but it wasn't enough for Tsuzuki. It was never enough. He knew that Tatsumi held back, and he needed everything.

"No." Tsuzuki shook his head. "We can go back to safe words tomorrow, but I want this to be realistic."

"What the Hell is realistic about me raping anyone?" Tatsumi demanded.

"That was a poor word choice on my part. I just want to feel completely helpless. I know you'll take care of me. I need it."

"Why?"

"I got the idea one day and it won't leave me alone." Tsuzuki explained. "I can't think of anything else. Do this for me just once Seii, and I'll never ask again."

"I don't want to hurt you." Tatsumi said.

"You wouldn't. Anything that you do to me I want."

“Fine. “

“Be as brutal as you want and I’ll do the same.” Tsuzuki said.

"So be it.” Tatsumi nodded. “Here's the set up. We're friends, but I want more and intend to take it. Get under the covers, and close your eyes."

Tsuzuki got under the blankets and shut his eyes. Moments later the bed dipped as Tatsumi sat beside him. He felt the blankets being drawn away from his body. A hand caressed his face.

"You're so beautiful, Asato." Tatsumi murmured reverently. "I could spend all day looking at you. Forgive me."

He held down his lover’s shoulders and kissed him hungrily. Tsuzuki opened his eyes and tried to shove him away. Tatsumi gave his lips a final lick and withdrew.

"Stop touching me and get out of my apartment." Tsuzuki glared. "I won't report this if you leave me alone."

"I can't do that. I have to have you at least once. I wanted you willing, but I know that's not going to happen. Just relax and I won‘t hurt you."

"I‘ll never let you fuck me." Tsuzuki spat, forcing his way out of Tatsumi's embrace.

He bolted. Tatsumi allowed him to reach the bedroom door before grabbing his wrists with cool wet shadows and wrenching his arms behind his back. Shadows curled around Tsuzuki’s ankles and wrapped themselves around his legs and thighs. He cried out as they forced him to his knees and spread his legs. Shadows nudged his cheeks apart and lapped at his asshole.

“No!” He yelled.

“Give up.” Tatsumi said, coming to stand in front of him. “I’m not letting you go until I’ve fucked you. Maybe not even then. The shadows obey my commands whether I‘m in the room or not. I could go to work and pretend you‘re missing, but keep you here for my use.”

“I’d find a way to free myself and kill you.” Tsuzuki said coolly. “Do you think I wouldn’t get away with it?” He looked up at Tatsumi. Even now he was holding back. If I could force him to let go, he would be happier in the long run. If not, I’ll just apologize.

He bared his teeth in a smile that was somewhat frightening, and taunted Tatsumi with his mother’s words. “Who would miss a thing like you?”

“Shut up.”

Tatsumi backhanded him hard across the face. He hesitated; he had never struck Tsuzuki before, and he knew that this was rapidly getting out of hand. He had told his lover about his cruel mother, who he would later accidentally kill in anger. Tsuzuki looked so beautiful and defiant, but they could play this with ground rules another time. He left the shadows in place, because manipulating shadows in anger was madness.

He attempted to compose himself and think up an explanation that was neither condemning nor permissive and left room for another play rape session in the future.
Tsuzuki used all of his strength to throw himself forward despite his bonds. He broke his own collarbone, but managed to bite his lover’s thigh hard enough to draw blood. He licked his lips with a feral smirk.

Tatsumi couldn’t see his lover’s injury in the semidarkness and ignored his own. He didn’t share Tsuzuki’s passion for biting, but it didn’t bother him.

Might as well play this out. He thought. I’m not angry anymore, so nothing can go wrong.

“You’re only making this harder on yourself, you stupid whore.” He said gently.
He walked to the night table and retrieved the lube. He uncapped the tube and squirted some into his hand. He liberally coated his cock. He had fantasies of his own and knew Tsuzuki wouldn‘t mind. He called up a shadow of himself. It walked to Tsuzuki and sat in front of him.

“I’m not afraid of your little parlor trick, you matricidal freak.” Tsuzuki said.

Tatsumi ignored the vicious insult. Tatsumi’s shadow lifted the bound man and settled him on its lap. It guided its strangely wet and cool cock into his tight hole. He thrashed as much as he could without hurting himself further. “No, don’t do this! I hate you.”

“Hate all you want. You’re helpless. My shadow is raping you. Do you like it? Is it cold?” Tatsumi walked behind Tsuzuki and bent to stroke his back. “I may be a freak, but at least I’m a human one.” He knelt behind Tsuzuki and spread his cheeks. He admired the sight of his lover’s hole stretched around the cool shadow cock. He caused the shadows holding Tsuzuki’s thighs to spill upwards and slide into his stretched hole. “Demon.” He pressed one hand between Tsuzuki and his shadow self and felt how hard his lover was. “Whore.”

“Worthless child.”

Tatsumi withdrew the shadow tendrils from Tsuzuki’s ass.

“I never thought that I’d resort to bestiality, but a bitch like you was made to be fucked.”

He pushed his warm cock alongside the cool shadow one. Tsuzuki was always tight, but he was perfect like this. He found his rhythm. Tsuzuki cried out at the invasion and moved eagerly to meet him. Tatsumi and shadow Tatsumi both fucked him without apparent concern for his safety or enjoyment. Tsuzuki was exhausted and stretched to the point of pain. His collarbone had healed wrong; it would have to be rebroken and set. He had goaded his considerate lover into hitting him and saying vicious things.

He had never been more aroused.

Tatsumi called up a second shadow man. It stood over them, pushed its cock into the other man’s mouth, and forced him to suck. Tsuzuki obeyed eagerly. He decided to speed things up a bit, since his collarbone was getting harder to ignore. He squeezed the cocks pounding his ass.

Tatsumi slammed into him again, again, again and came inside him. The shadows retreated and Tsuzuki slumped into his arms. He jerked Tsuzuki off until he came and pulled out. His lover was sleepy and pliant as he carried him to the bed and laid him on his belly. Tsuzuki cried out in pain.

“What’s wrong?” Tatsumi asked. “Are you hurt?”

“Yeah, my collarbone.” Tsuzuki said. “I think I broke it earlier and it healed wrong.”

Tatsumi used his strength and the shadows to ease his lover onto his back and placed a shadow cushion beneath him.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He asked.

“I was having too much fun.” Tsuzuki smiled and reached up a hand to cup his lover’s cheek ignoring the sharp pain. “It’s nothing; I can fix it later.”

He let his arm fall back on the cool shadow. He wouldn’t ask Tatsumi to rebreak and set his collarbone, but wouldn’t turn him down if he offered.

“I’m sorry I hurt you.”

“You didn’t. It happened when I bit you. Sorry about that by the way.”

“It’s fine.” Tatsumi turned his head away. “We can’t do this again, Asato.”

“Oh okay.” Tsuzuki said.

“This can’t be healthy.” The secretary said mostly to himself.

“But I liked it.”

“Just because you like something doesn’t meant it’s good for you. I’ll see you at work. I don’t mind the things you said, but I have to be alone.”

Tatsumi would break up with Tsuzuki in the morning and Konoe would grant his request to work without a partner. After several months of mutual avoidance, he began making small talk at work. Over the next decade, they settled into what would become their current pattern. Tsuzuki goofed off and obsessed over sweets, while his younger ex lover took on a parental role.

By the mid eighties they had dragged Watari into their bizarre game of house. He allowed them to mold him into Tsuzuki’s best friend and surrogate mom. He and Tatsumi both interacted with the puppyish shinigami, but never with each other outside of work. Watari loved Tsuzuki as a friend, though if he weren‘t so damn celibate he‘d give him a tumble. He was in love with the distant shadow master, but Tatsumi was clearly bogged down by regret. Watari assumed that the secretary had somehow driven Tsuzuki away, and though it hurt, he hoped that they would find their way back to each other.