Ranma's New Fiance

“I’m sick of you always grabbing onto me, it gets me in trouble with Akane and it’s downright embarrassing” Ranma yelled at Shampoo. She was having a horrible day; she got in a fight with Akane that caused her to storm off. She’d spent the night studying for her English test when it was her math test instead the next day. Then she’d got caught in the rain and now her breasts and foot hurt, her breasts from being hugged so tightly against Kuno and her foot from punting him into the stratosphere.

“You have no choice, you must marry Shampoo. Is the Amazon law of kiss or marriage” she said somewhat smugly like a broken record.

“I’m so sick of you flashing that law in my face, I’m Japanese and not a member of your fucked up society. It doesn’t apply to me” she snarled.

“Law applies until council decides otherwise, that could be long long time” Shampoo said.

“So how do I get out of it?” Ranma snarled.

“You don’t, if you marry other girl, I have to challenge her to fight to death. I would win” Shampoo said.

Ranma realized just how deadly serious the situation was for the first time. “Then there is no way out of our contract?” she asked.

“Is one way, but there no other Amazon here for you to marry” she said smugly. “We have long happy life together airen” she said and glomped onto her.

“Get off of me!” Ranma shrieked and leaped from rooftop to rooftop in a random direction just trying to get away from her. She set down in a vacant field on the outskirts of town and sat down to think. She wanted to marry Akane, but there was no way that Akane could win against Shampoo. Akane was a decent martial artist, but no way as powerful as Shampoo.

Mousse had chosen to practice his throwing arm the next field over. He was in a particularly violent mood towards Shampoo for once and was working off his aggression by throwing rocks and bowling balls into the nearby field, which he’d already checked to make sure it was vacant. He didn’t want to use bombs because he didn’t want to risk starting a forest fire or hurting the wildlife. “Fuck you Shampoo, if you don’t want me to see you naked then don’t walk to the onsen like that” he raged. He touched his sore face and ribs; she’d really worked him over that morning for simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. He hadn’t even had his glasses on, so it not like he really saw a thing. It was so not worth it! He sighed and picked up another boulder and heaved it into the field and then paused when he heard a yelp of pain. He quickly ran into the field and gasped to find a prone figure pinned under the boulder. He quickly moved it to discover the body of a young girl. Not having time to search for his glasses, he felt for a pulse and then gathered her up and ran to the Neko Hanten.

“I’m so sorry Miss, I’ll get you help. Please just hang in there” he pleaded with her. He kicked the door open, startling both Amazon women. “Quick, I was practicing in the field and one of my boulders hit her. You’ve got to help her!” the out of breath Chinese martial artist said.

Cologne peered at the girl in his arms “son-in-law?” she said.

“Mousse what you do to my airen?” Shampoo cried.

“She’s Ranma?” Mousse said looking like he wanted to dump her on the floor.

“She’ll be okay, you probably just knocked her unconscious” Cologne said. “Bring her to my room Mousse” she ordered him.

Ranma woke up in a fog of pain, she tried to sit up but her head hurt too much. “What happened?” she asked staring up at the Chinese faces that surrounded her.

Shampoo snorted “stupid duck boy throwing boulders and one hit you on head” she explained gesturing to Mousse.

“Mousse hit me?” Ranma asked.

“It wasn’t intentional, Ranma knows I’m honourable when it comes to challenges” Mousse declared hotly.

A wicked scheme flashed into Ranma brain “so Mousse defeated me?”

“In a manner of speaking, yes” Cologne said examining Ranma’s bandage.

“Then by your laws, I’m bound to marry Mousse” Ranma said in as humble a voice as possible. This caused all three Amazons to freeze in place.