KinderHyoutei

Sakaki Tarou paddled his bike down the street. He waved to the friendly ice cream vendor parked outside the school, dodged Sato-san's crazy pitbull Mr.Roboto (who he considered might be rabid, given its frenzied behavior lately), and finally skidded to a stop in front of a very familiar, very large house with perfectly manicured lawns. Well, at least they used to be perfectly manicured, before Tarou had run his bike over them, dragging up little trails of dirt and grass. He hoped Akutagawa-san didn't notice.

Still, Tarou was in high spirits, because even though his parents had cut off his allowance after the Porsche incident (it wasn't his fault, he swore! It was all little Ryou's doing... not that his parents would believe the tiny and rather effeminate five-year-old had caused so much destruction), he was only one baby-sitting job away from finally being able to afford that Versace scarf he so admired and matching cell phone. His parents didn't understand why he needed another scarf so badly, and why he couldn't just wear a tie around his neck like all his classmates, but he just loved them so! His parents also called another cell phone a waste of money, and had only shaken their heads in dismay as he told them real men needed at least four.

If only he could be like Yuusuke, whose mother was American and Jewish, and who had made enough money during his bar mitvah to buy a car if he wanted to. Of course, he couldn't actually buy a car, being so young, but it was the thought of it. Why, oh why, couldn't his father have married a Jewish foreigner?

Tarou stopped in front of the door, making sure his (non-Versace) scarf hadn't flown out of his perfectly clean and creased white button-down shirt during his bike ride. Really, all boys his age should care as much about appearance. He knocked on the door, a smile coming unbidden to his lips.

One more job. That's all it would take, with his neighborhood's plush baby-sitting wages, and he'd be the envy of all the second year boys (or so he thought in his head). Better yet, he only had to baby-sit Jirou, who was the favorite of all his charges, because in addition to being as cute as a button, the little boy also spent most of his time sleeping. It was easy money.

"Sakaki-kun! You're right on time!"

Akutagawa-san ushered Tarou into the living room before running off to finish her make-up, smiling sheepishly as she did so. Women, Tarou thought. They just never seemed to be ready when they were supposed to. Tarou glanced around and smiled as he saw Jirou sleeping on the couch. He made his way towards the small child, who was emitting little googly noises in his sleep.

He really did look like an angel when he was asleep, Tarou thought, leaning down to pat those little golden curls. Jirou really was adorable, dressed in an oversized shirt that had fallen down on one side to show his shoulder, and large shorts that were most likely a size or two too big for him as well. There was a big spit bubble on his mouth that would form every time he opened it, and his little pudgy arms and legs were wrapped around little Lambert. Lambert, of course, being a huge, stuffed teddy bear that was two times the size that Jirou was.

Tarou was contemplating that beautiful Versace print when he felt it. The tiny hairs on his neck stood on end... yes, he definitely felt it. The calm before the storm.

"Sakaki! Get me a bottle of water. Sparkling, this time, none of that Evian crap."

And then the storm broke. Damn Keigo, and his prodigious mastery of the Japanese language.

"No! No! Sakaki has to watch me on the trampoline!"

"Gaku-chan, Sakaki has to start dinner soon."

"Can I have a cookie?"

"If Chou-chan gets a cookie, I want a cookie too!"

"Kabaji, hit Sakaki until he gets me my water."

"Usu."

"Why can't Atobe get his own water? If Atobe gets water I want water. And a cookie."

Tarou could feel little hands all over his legs, trying to tug and pull at him from every direction, plus two medium sized fists pounding on his butt. He attempted pulling children off of him, but it seemed that every time he managed to pull one off another would take its place. Soon, he just gave up and fell backwards onto the floor. Jirou, who had woken up in the middle of the commotion, blinked open still sleepy eyes. He took in the sight of all his friends, and a huge smile broke out on his face as he beamed... it really was very endearing, even if Tarou could only see Jirou's excited eyes through chubby little limbs that were crawling all over his face. Then Jirou saw Tarou lying on the floor, and his expression became even happier, if that was possible. He clapped, before opening that cute little mouth.

"Sakaki-puddle!"

Oh no. Tarou's lungs depleted as seven little boys jumped onto him, and then there was Jirou, flying off the couch with his arms stretched out to his sides, one hand attached to Lambert's ear.

No, Jirou! Tarou thought. You'll hurt yourself!

"Aww, isn't this cute?" came a thankfully adult voice, as the Akutagawas came out to see all the children hugging their beloved baby-sitter. "We're sorry we didn't tell you you'd be baby-sitting all the children tonight... it was a last minute decision. Is that all right?"

"Of course," Tarou managed to gasp out, even as he worried about his decreasing ability to breath. "But I have to remind you I charge an extra 300 yen per child per hour."

"Of course." Jirou's mother came to kiss her precious son on the cheek. "You be a good boy, okay, Jirou?"

"I'm always a good boy, Mommy!" Jirou exclaimed, beaming, and his mother laughed and ruffled his hair.

"Are you sure you can handle eight children?" asked Jirou's father, giving Tarou a rather suspicious look, before his wife pulled him away.

"Now, Dear, Tarou's been in charge of all of them before. He's a responsible young man."

And with one last "Be good, boys!", Tarou's last link to the civilized world walked out the door.

"Ahem," came a voice that was too arrogant to belong to any one else. "I believe you need to get me a water, a-n?"

"Dinner time!" Tarou called out. He scooped up two random children as he got to his feet, realizing too late that they were Munehiro and Ryou.

"Don't carry me!" Ryou shrieked. "I'm not a baby! I can walk by myself!"

And as Tarou went deaf in one ear, he started to topple to the side of him that was holding Munehiro. Really, what were this boy's parents feeding him? "All right, then."

Tarou put both children down, then picked up Gakuto, who was holding out his arms, jumping up and down, and screaming "Carry me! Carry me!"

Tarou made his way into the kitchen to see what Akutagawa-san had left for them, thanking all the Gods in the known world that the kids were following him. He heaped on even more thanks when he saw that it was McDonalds. The kids loved McDonalds... it was rare that their parents let them have the western food.

"Yay! McDonalds!" Gakuto chirped, going on to make up a little ditty about his favorite fast food chain.

Tarou managed to get every one seated, then distributed the fries and food, remembering to get Keigo a bottle of sparkling water before turning to the refrigerator to get his own dinner.

"What are you doing?" Keigo asked, frowning as he poked at his chicken nuggets. He was looking at the fast food as though it were a pile of dog poo.

"Getting my dinner," Tarou replied. It wasn't as if he could eat McDonalds of all things... the thought was preposterous. His sharp eyes landed on a platter of what had to be very expensive sushi, and took that out of the refrigerator instead.

"Sushi?" Keigo pushed his food out of the way. "I want sushi too."

"Your dinner is McDonalds, Keigo."

"Are you an idiot? I said I want sushi."

"Well too bad." Tarou really didn't like Keigo sometimes.

"Kabaji!" Keigo screamed. "Hold your breath until Tarou gives me sushi!"

And Munehiro, with a handful of fries sticking out of his mouth, stopped breathing.

"Keigo, make him stop."

"No."

"Make him stop NOW."

Keigo crossed his arms in front of his chest. "No."

Yuushi started laughing at them, and Tarou could see that Jirou had fallen asleep in his pile of ketchup.

"Yes."

"No."

The argument went on for a little longer, until Tarou realized that Munehiro's face was actually turning blue.

"Fine! Fine!" Tarou got out another plate and dropped some sushi onto it before placing it in front of Keigo. "There you go, Your Highness."

"It took you long enough. Kabaji, you can start breathing again. And Sakaki, I hope you've learned your lesson."

Munehiro nodded and went back to eating his fries.

After Tarou woke Jirou up and cleaned off his cheek, dinner passed with minimal food throwing and dramatics, although Ryou did threaten to cut off his hair once when Wakashi wouldn't pass him the salt. At least it was better than the last dinner all the kids had eaten together... that time, Ryou had threatened to cut off all his hair no less than three times. As if he could ever part from his dearly loved locks.

Tarou sighed in relief when dinner ended and he finished out handing cookies for desert. Wakashi, on the other hand, looked at his empty plate, then at Choutarou's empty plate, then at all the other kids, happily munching away on their chocolate chip cookies.

"Hey!" Wakashi slammed his tiny fists onto the table. "How come we don't get cookies?"

"Wakashi, you know your parents don't like it when you eat sugar this close to your bed time."

"But every one else gets cookies!"

"Every one else is older than you."

Wakashi slammed his fists down again. He was only one year younger!

Choutarou looked like he was about to cry. "But..."

"No buts, Choutarou, you know the rules."

"Chou-chan," Ryou whispered, breaking his cookie in half, "you can have part of mine."

Choutarou beamed at Ryou in gratitude, about to take the proffered cookie piece, when he looked back over to see Wakashi pouting and glaring at the floor. "No thanks."

It wouldn't be fair for him to get some cookie when Wakashi didn't.

Only three more hours, Tarou thought, as he herded the children (plus Lambert) into the playroom. He would clean the kitchen after they were asleep. Right away, Gakuto bounded over to the mini-trampoline in the corner and began jumping up and down on it. He liked to do twists and turns in the air, which always scared Tarou, but then Yuushi was always there to catch him if he fell. The other kids stumbled over to other various toys, except for Jirou, who had gone to gaze out the window.

"Hey." Jirou yawned, and the others had to wait several long seconds to hear what he had to say. "Ryuzaki-neesan's walking her dog."

"Dog? I wanna see!"

"What kind of dog is it? Is it a big or little one?"

As the kids rushed to the window, Tarou gulped. Ryuzaki-nee-san looked like one of those girls in the magazines that Tarou's dad kept hidden in his study, and when she came home from college she always wore really tight red dresses and short shorts and tube tops.

"Okay, kids, video time." Tarou popped in one of Jirou's sing-along tapes and ushered the boys onto the couch. Then he rushed outside, to say hello to Ryuzaki-neesan and help her walk her dog.

Wakashi was the first to realize that Tarou had left the house. He jumped off the coach, then snuck up to the door of the room to look around the hallway. Certain Tarou wasn't there, he made his way back to the couch where Choutarou was happily singing along to some pop song, and tugged on his friend's hands.

"What is it, Wakashi?"

"I'm going to find the cookies. Want to come with me?"

"But Sakaki-niisan..."

"Don't worry, he's outside right now."

Choutarou frowned. This was definitely a bad thing to do... they could get into a lot of trouble... but he loved cookies so much! He jumped off the couch.

"Hey." Ryou glared at Wakashi suspiciously. "Where are you taking Chou-chan?"

"It's none of your business, that's where," Wakashi replied, sticking his tongue out at the older boy.

Ryou climbed off the couch and followed them.

Keigo, on the other side of the couch, was trying to get Jirou to pay attention to him.

"Jirou, come play legos with me," he said, pulling one of Jirou's oversized sleeves.

Yuushi was on Jirou's other side, pulling on Jirou's other sleeve. "No, Jirou. Come race cars with me."

Jirou yawned. Gakuto, bouncing from one side of the couch to another, tried distracting both of them away from his best friend. "Hey guys, look at me! Look, I can cartwheel from one end of the couch to another! Do you want to see me summersault? Keiiiiigo! Yuu~~~~uushi!"

"Gaku-chan," Yuushi replied calmly, "I play with you all the time. I want to play with Jirou."

When he turned back to Jirou, the other boy had fallen asleep.

"Jirou," he said, tugging harder, as Keigo did the same on the other side, "wake up and play with me."

Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Wakashi had pulled a chair to the counter and was in the process of pulling down the cookie jar.

"Careful!" Ryou snarled at him. "We'll be in trouble if you break it!"

"I'm not going to break it, baka. Who asked you, anyway?"

"Shishi, Wakashi's trying his best." Choutarou tried to calm down the situation, tugging slightly on Ryou's ponytail. He really liked to play with the other boy's hair... it was soft and pretty and shiny and reminded him of his older brother's pet horse. He hoped his parents would let him have a pet horse soon. A chocolate brown one, like Ryou's hair.

Wakashi dropped the jar down on the floor with a thud, posing in victory. "I told you I could do it!"

He reached into the cookie jar and handed one to Choutarou before grabbing two for himself.

"What about me?" Ryou asked.

"You already had a cookie."

"So what? You're eating two right now."

"So? I don't want to give you any more cookies."

"Shishi... Wakashi..." Choutarou looked back and forth between his two friends.

"Give me a cookie," Ryou demanded.

Wakashi stuffed his cookies in his mouth and wrapped his whole body around the cookie jar. "No!"

"Give me a cookie or else I'll cut my hair off!"

"I'll cut my hair! Cut my hair!" Wakashi mimicked Ryou's high-pitched shriek. "That's all you ever say but I don't CARE if you're going to cut your hair! I'll cut your hair off myself!"

Ryou gasped. "You wouldn't dare!"

Outside, Tarou was in a daze. Ryuzaki-neesan had even given him a kiss on the cheek for being such a nice boy and helping her! It was, like, the best night of his life. He walked back into the house and into the playroom, where Munehiro was sitting on Yuushi while Keigo was attempting to pull off his pants.

"What's going on?" Tarou asked, confused.

"He won't let Jirou play with me!" Keigo huffed.

"He doesn't want to play with you! He wants to play with me." Yuushi kicked up and down in the air, clearly trying to aim for Keigo.

Tarou looked it the clock. It was a little early... but then again, it was never really too early to put the kids the sleep. He strode across the room and picked Keigo up, then marched to Jirou's room, ignoring the squirming and protesting boy in his arms.

"Let go!"

"It's bedtime, Keigo."

"Kabaji-"

"Munehiro's not here."

He could feel Keigo deflate in his arms.

"How come you're not making any one else go to sleep?" Keigo whined.

"You know you won't be able to sleep if any one else is in the room."

Tarou helped Keigo changed into his striped pajamas, watched him brush his teeth, then marched him onto Jirou's bed. Keigo always slept on Jirou's bed... it wasn't as if he would ever deign to sleep on the floor. Tarou tucked the little boy in.

"Where's Apollo?" Keigo asked, still petulant.

Tarou went and dug around in Keigo's backpack, until finally he pulled out the Ken doll. "Here you go."

Keigo clutched the doll to his chest and snuggled deeper into his blanket.

"Thank you," he mumbled, so softly that Tarou almost didn't hear it.

"You're welcome," Tarou replied, loud enough so that Keigo definitely could hear it, and laughed when it made the little boy frown. He then spent the next ten minutes setting out six cots for all the boys, and laying out their pajamas. By the time he was done Keigo was asleep, and he was able to creep back downstairs.

Tarou found Munehiro putting together a rather intricate puzzle by himself, and tapped the boy on the shoulder.

"Why don't you go to bed," he said, "but be careful not to wake Keigo."

"Usu."

Tarou watched as the boy stood up and went upstairs... Munehiro was always such a good kid, when Keigo wasn't using him for evil. Yuushi and Gakuto were also surprisingly easy to deal with... they had fallen asleep in a pile, Gakuto on Yuushi's back. Tarou gently shook them awake and told them to go upstairs.

"But you never got to see me jump on the trampoline," Gakuto mumbled, but he was half-asleep and already following Yuushi up the stairs.

Tarou looked around only to find the room empty. Now where could those others be? He walked down the hallway... and froze.

"Wakashi, NO!"

Tarou ran up to Wakashi, terrified, as Wakashi chased Ryou around the room while brandishing a pair of scissors in the air. Choutarou was, of course, crying in the background. Tarou was about to reach Wakashi when the little boy fell, banging loudly into a low table, and started crying.

"Wakashi!" Tarou bent down and picked up the boy, checking for any signs of blood. He was terrified... what if the scissors had cut Wakashi's skin during the fall... punctured a lung... poked out an eye. When he didn't find any cuts at all he breathed out a huge sigh of relief. "My god, Wakashi, what are you thinking running with scissors!"

But Wakashi was still crying, so Tarou had to rock him back and forth on his knee until he calmed down a little.

"Geez, Wakashi, you know you shouldn't run with scissors. Are you okay?"

"Yeah.. ..." Wakashi rubbed at his eyes, trying to stop crying. "I just... my... knee... it hurts a... little."

Tarou turned momentarily towards Ryou and Choutarou. "You two should go to bed."

And they rushed off, too scared to disagree.

Tarou checked Wakashi's knee, and to his immense relief didn't find anything too bad. It would probably have a nasty bruise tomorrow, but it was nothing Wakashi couldn't handle.

"Hey, you're going to be alright. You're a big boy, right? You can handle the pain."

Wakashi nodded, making his mushroom hair fly up and down around his head. "I'm a big boy."

"See? I bet you're so strong, it's already stopped hurting."

Wakashi smiled a little bit. "Well... I don't really feel it any more."

"Look, I'll tell you what." Tarou leaned forward and whispered, as if he was telling Wakashi a secret. "I think you're big enough to eat cookies after dinner, just like the others."

"Really?" Wakashi asked, excited.

"Sure. As long as you don't tell your mom and dad."

"I won't tell them! I promise."

"Okay. So you're going to be good and go to sleep now, right?"

Wakashi nodded again and jumped off Tarou's knee, then practically bounded upstairs. Tarou sighed and plopped down in a nearby chaise. This really had been a tiring night... but then, that was to be expected when watching eight little boys. He was just glad that he had gotten them all in bed. In a few minutes he would go upstairs and check on them, then clean the house, then watch T.V. until the Akutagawas came home. That's when he felt something tugging on his pants.

He looked down, into the very large eyes of one Akutagawa Jirou. That was odd... Jirou usually put himself to bed fairly early. He was the one Tarou didn't have to worry about it.

"What's wrong, Jirou?" Tarou put his hand on Jirou's head, patting the little boy.

"Lambert..." Jirou's lip trembled. "I ... I wanted to see what Choutarou was doing... and I... and Wakashi... he fell, and the scissors..."

Then Jirou pushed Lambert in front of Tarou's face, and Tarou knew why Jirou was so upset. He realized that Jirou probably wanted very badly to cry right now, but was trying to be strong and hold it in.

"Oh, Jirou..." Tarou gently took the bear from Jirou's little hands, and stared at the scissors that were stuck in Lambert's back. "I'm so sorry."

"It's... it's okay," Jirou said, even as his eyes became teary and wet. "He's just... he's just a... stuffed bear."

Tarou pulled the scissors out of Lamberts back, tugging some stuffing out with them, and regretted it instantly as Jirou cringed at the sight.

"Don't say that, silly." Tarou pulled Jirou onto his lap. "He's not just a stuffed bear. He's your Lambert, and he's going to be just fine."

"He is?"

"Sure he is!" Tarou put Lambert and Jirou down, then went to the bathroom to get a first aid kit. When he came back, he picked up the bear and started wrapping first aid bandages around its midsection.

"Look, Jirou. All Lambert needs is a bandage. I bet if you leave the bandage on overnight, in the morning when you take it off Lambert will be all healed up and good as new." Tarou made a note to tell Jirou's mother about the incident, so that she could patch the bear up before Jirou woke up.

"Really?"

"Of course. Would I lie to you?"

At that Jirou instantly cheered up, grinning and holding his arms out, into which Tarou swiftly deposited the bear.

"So what do you say we go to sleep?"

Jirou nodded eagerly, and Tarou walked him upstairs to his room. Jirou, being Jirou, fell asleep instantly as he hit his mattress, both arms wrapped around Lambert's bandaged middle. Keigo, who had shuffled around in his sleep so that now he was upside down, grabbed a hold of Jirou's leg and cuddled up to it, all the while gnawing on Apollo's head.

Really, Tarou thought, looking around, they were all really cute. They looked like angels when they were asleep... even Keigo.

The next day, Tarou came home from his trip to the Versace boutique to find a phone call waiting for him from Jirou. Tarou was right, Jirou said excitedly, and Lambert was all fine now. He even had a cool scar where the cut used to be.

.end.