Priorities | By : RoseThorne Category: +M to R > Pandora Hearts Views: 896 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Pandora Hearts and do not make any money writing this. |
by Rose Thorne
Disclaimer: Pandora Hearts is owned by Jun Mochizuki, Square Enix, et al.
When they had returned from putting an end to Yura and his little “party,” Break took the first opportunity to slip away from Sharon—who had insisted on accompanying him to get his injuries treated, minor though they were compared to Liam’s—and pulled one of his disappearing acts so he could slip away into Liam’s quarters. He made sure to procure some cake first. Liam’s favorites. After all, it wouldn’t do to visit him empty-handed!
Break initially thought Liam was awake, with the slight pain-labored quality to his breathing, but when he moved from the doorway into the room, he realized that despite that, the rhythm was even. He was simply in so much pain that even sleep didn’t release him from it.
Sharon had kept abreast of his condition through Eques, so Break had known, long before they’d returned to Pandora, that Liam would survive. But being in this room, listening to his breathing—pained though it was—relieved Break as word of mouth couldn’t. Not after the dreadful silence of False Death, the death that had felt so true and permanent at the time—enough to change his priorities.
After what they had done to Liam, Break would rather see the Baskervilles dead (up close and personal, if possible) than work with them, even for his promise to the Will of the Abyss.
He didn’t know when Liam Lunettes had become so important to him.
Break didn’t want to wake him, so he set the three tiered tea tray of sweets on Liam’s desk and leaned against the wall beside the bed. To his eye, Liam was a blur of dark grays; he couldn’t discern his features, or even the bandages that he knew, from Sharon, were there. All he could really do was listen to his breathing and wait.
It was almost a relief to be unable to see the extent of Liam’s injuries, but only almost. His worsening sight had prevented him from reaching Liam in time, limited as he was to his other senses. And those senses hadn’t been enough to see what had been done. He’d had to rely on the words of an enemy, hadn’t been able to see through False Death because he couldn’t see.
Likely, he wouldn’t have been able to see it even with both eyes, with no hint that March Hare might have such a talent. Liam had kept it a secret even from him, and Break had never even considered that he might have a secret like that, a secret worth knowing, enough to pay attention. Had he known, it would have saved him that awful feeling, the feelings he’d had far too many times in his life.
Desolation. Loss.
This time, Break had gotten back what he had lost, had gotten Liam back despite his violation of the tenant he had given to Gilbert so many years ago. To use those who were useful in attaining his goals, and to cut ties with those who became a burden to him.
He had always liked to think of himself as someone with the strength to be cruel, to cut ties with anyone who got in the way of his priorities. But with Liam… He was quite incapable of doing that to Liam, even if it meant failing in his goals. His priorities had multiplied somehow along the way.
Not that he had known that Liam was one of his priorities. It had taken this, his death, for Break to realize.
He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t realize that Liam’s breathing had changed.
“Still with that sad face, Xerxes?”
Liam’s voice was distressingly weak, but Break forced a foppish grin before he leaned over him. “It’s such a bother. I’ll have to find an excuse for getting no paperwork done!”
He had expected Liam to snap at him irritably in response, but instead his friend sighed, and he heard the surprising rustle of paperwork before the papers poked him in the face.
“I’m afraid I’ll be more useless than usual,” Liam murmured. “But I’ve been released from my normal duties… So I can manage what little you pretend to do.”
Break took them, too shocked to do anything else, and too conscious of the bit of pain in Liam’s voice at moving that much. Five sheets, he realized. Despite having nearly been killed by the Baskervilles only a few hours ago, Liam had done five sheets of paperwork for him, likely even going to the trouble of forging his half-hazard handwriting.
“Don’t look so surprised, Xerxes. You’re well aware that I’m a workaholic. I’m an expert in deskwork, after all.” Break couldn’t quite contain a wince at that. “I know you meant it to tease, but I took it to heart. You’re right, after all. I don’t know how to fight.”
That was, if possible, even worse. The words Break had used to try to convince Liam not to attend Yura’s party acknowledged as true, thrown back at him, too late to protect Liam from the pain he was in.
He somehow forced the grin back. “Well, I did warn you. It was rather inconvenient for you to get captured, you know. And poor Sharon-chan was quite upset.”
“Gilbert, too, then?”
His voice had a hint of skepticism in it, and Break wished he could see Liam’s face to determine his mood.
“Well, you know how he can be. A soggy mess when he thinks he’s not of use!”
Liam’s response was soft. “And you? I’ve never seen you fight quite so seriously before. And being injured like that.”
Break couldn’t keep the grin from slipping a bit, so he twirled around goofily to hide it, dumping the paperwork on the desk. He’d been careful to change his clothing before coming, to hide the bandages behind his usual untattered, unbloodied outfit; he hadn’t realized that Liam had noticed before Sharon’s Eques took him to safety.
“You’re rarely around when I fight, Liam. You are far more suited for deskwork than field work, as you’ve acknowledged!”
“I suppose you were just glad you wouldn’t have to find someone else to do your paperwork, then.”
He nearly knocked over the tray of sweets, but recovered in time, lifting it and bringing it over to the bed to set on the most convenient surface: Liam’s chest. A gasp of pain forced him to rethink that, and he set it beside his friend instead, and artfully flopped down on the other side of it, careful not to jostle the sweets, Liam, or his own injuries.
“Yare yare. You’re such a wet blanket, Liam-san!” Break delicately spooned a bit of one of the cakes and waved it around in Liam’s face. “From what I heard from Sharon-chan, you did get quite a bit of useful information in your encounter, and your little secret even let you survive!”
“Xerxes…” Liam sighed explosively, finally giving Break the reaction he was looking for. “I don’t understand why you’re so bothered that I kept that a secret!”
It troubled him just a little bit that Liam had figured out the other thing that had bothered him a little. Not just that Liam had kept a secret from him, but that he hadn’t managed to sniff it out in all the years they had known each other.
“Naggy, naggy!” Break rolled over onto his stomach, leaning closer to Liam and swishing his legs in the air. Normally he would have poked him, but since he didn’t know where he was injured, he didn’t dare. “Such a noisy, naggy man.”
“I know you keep plenty of your own secrets, Xerxes, and I don’t hassle you about it! I’ve even pretended not to notice that your vision is even worse, since you were reckless with Mad Hatter again! Which I’ll help you hide, of course. I accept you, secrets and disadvantages and—”
He was mildly pleased to have worked Liam into a little snit, but less so when he realized that it was likely only aggravating his injuries. In fact, if the bit of worsening hoarseness in his voice was any indication, it was doing exactly that.
So Break used his voice to guide his hand, and gently placed the spoon of cake in Liam’s mouth—or tried to, anyway. Liam turned away at the last moment, and although the spoon returned to him empty Break knew it hadn’t gotten where he’d been aiming. In fact, it was likely all over poor Liam’s face and the pillow.
At least it stopped his troublesome nagging.
“You don’t want cake? I brought it to cheer you up!”
Break pretended to pout, a bit disappointed not to see the flustered look as Liam sputtered. It was likely even more entertaining with bits of cake, frosting, chocolate, and cream all over his face. At least the mental image was amusing.
He couldn’t help but sigh when Liam launched into a long explanation involving the effect of elevated blood sugar on healing wounds. Something along the lines of it limiting the body’s ability to heal, blah blah blah, undoubtedly parroting some Pandora doctor. Likely the very one he’d disappeared on—like they’d ever get him to give up sugar!
It was strange to find his rambling both irritating and relieving. It meant, on some level, that despite what had happened, Liam Lunettes was still Liam Lunettes. He was still here, beside him. And now that Xerxes Break was aware of that, he wasn’t going to let him go again.
Liam’s explanation broke off when Break touched his face, smearing a bit of cake and then licking it off his fingers.
“You made a mess, Liam-san!”
Break waited for the irritated huff that preceded most of his snits before leaning in and kissing him, timing it so Liam’s mouth was open just enough to let him taste the cake he was missing out on.
He was delighted when Liam’s startled tension relaxed after only a few seconds; Break had been ready to pull away and make an inappropriate joke if necessary. Instead, he took it as permission, an invitation accepted, deepening the kiss, making it clearer.
Changing everything.
He gently brushed his hand against Liam’s cheek. Break was relieved to find that there were no bandages on his face, but when he touched bandages near his hairline—in exactly the same place as before, when he had protected Break from Barma’s blow—Liam gasped in pain.
So Break pulled away and lay beside him, not quite touching him.
“Oh, dear. You’re all beat up, aren’t you?” he murmured. “I’m assuming that’s the least of your injuries.”
It took Liam a while to respond, and when he did he hadn’t quite managed to get his voice level yet. Break chose to believe it was because he was a good kisser rather than the pain.
“Her chain was Bandersnatch.”
Break felt his face go grim. He knew of that chain, the one Gilbert had shot at, knew enough to know that the March Hare was merely prey to it. Though he hadn’t been able to see the chain, other data existed on it. Enough that he could well imagine how badly Liam was injured with just that information, and it was not a welcome image.
It was a wonder, in fact, that Liam was alive, since the dogs normally went right for the throat, and the Baskervilles in situations like that generally didn’t care whether their chains killed.
“And she wanted to… play.” This time his voice did crack, and Break frowned. “To ‘exercise’ her chain. So she didn’t kill me right away. I was able to gain information.”
Liam didn’t continue, and Break didn’t push him. He knew there was more to it; far more. They were both entitled to their secrets, after all, and this experience was likely too raw to be discussed, anyway. Especially for someone like Liam—someone so unused to violence, so very unsuited for it.
Break could feel Liam steeling himself to force it out, and he reached forward and placed a finger on his lips gently.
“Tell me later. Rest.” He let the silly grin slide onto his face again. “I’ll stay here and protect you from the big bad doggie.”
He had expected a huff of irritation, but instead he felt the light tremor that ran through Liam’s body and realized that he was truly afraid, as unlikely as it was that a Baskerville would reach him here at Pandora Headquarters.
But then he remembered Vincent and realized Liam’s fear might well be justified.
“I’ll stay,” he murmured again, and felt Liam relax minutely.
Break drew his hand back and reached down to squeeze Liam’s, strangely delicate without his gloves, with a little callous on his thumb from near-constant writing. That seemed to reassure him, and Break listened as the minutes passed and Liam slowly relaxed, his breath evening out as he fell asleep.
Break would stay, even after Liam had healed. He would never leave him unprotected again.
Basically takes place after Retrace 56, before we really know the outcome of Yura’s party, but I kind of had to write it. Darn muses!
It’s so hard to write Break, since he’s always so intense about hiding his emotions! I hope I did a decent job.
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