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The Honeymoon Party
By : ThePhizz
Category: +S to Z > Slayers
Views: 3078 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Do not own Slayers and am not making any money from this.
Chapter List
- 1-The Honeymoon Party
- 1
Prompt:

Lina/Gourry Amelia/Zel Filia/Xellos: Moresome - Each group tries to out sex the other in increasingly creative ways.
Warnings: Het, orgy, abuse of Filia's furniture
The fill:
Lina was drunk, and this was never a good thing.
She was not yet weaving on her feet. So Filia still had a chance to escape upstairs before Lina began picking fights with them for real or imagined slights against her. They would have to try and fight her together, and if that didn't work, then Gourry would have to be sent forth as the sacrifice. Either to appease Lina's lust for blood, or her darker, more horrible kind of lust. The kind they would never talk about, no matter how bruised and bloody Gourry was the following morning.
The golden dragon looked longingly at the stairs.
Amelia and Zelgadiss had come from Saillune and somehow become entangled in the duo and of course they'd decided to visit Filia (hide out) and say hello (eat all of her food). Lina and Gourry had waited until the group was together, cracking open another bottle of wine, and her pantry was emptied before announcing the good news.
Filia sipped slowly at her drink. Priestess were not to drink, forbidden, sinful, were banished from her thoughts. The sight of Gourry kissing Lina without being harmed told her she would need this. Everyone had gasped over it. Even Gourry.
They were supposed to be celebrating her and Gourry's running away from her parents and eloping and praying that Luna (who really seemed like a lovely woman when Filia had met her) didn't come after them. So, understandably, the atmosphere was tinged with disbelief and a little fear. Lina had demanded a party to commemorate such an occasion. The group had been unable to find a banner in the store to match the event, so above their heads was a sigh emblazoned with a happy face. ‘Good Luck on Getting Better.’ It was, Zelgadiss argued, still accurate.
None of them could believe that Lina and Gourry had finally become a couple. No matter even when she settled on his lap while he sat on the rooms only armchair. “I just can’t believe they actually went through with it,” the chimera said, again and again.
Amelia was smugger. “I knew, eventually, they would get married. Xellos, where’s the gold you owe me?”
And Xellos was there, which never helped matters. Filia tried not to look at him. If she did, she wouldn’t be able to look away, and the rage would build and build until it flooded out in a steady stream of insults and violence. As it always did when he came into her home. But now, she had guests, and trying to remove his annoying, hideously smiling head from his skinny shoulders would just be rude.
Lina finished off another glass.
The golden dragon wished again she wasn’t sitting on the couch, alone except for the Mazoku. Or at least that Xellos was closer to Lina and could be used as a shield. She could feel his synthetic body heat from him, and nearly shuddered at it. She envied Zelgadiss and Amelia, tucked away on the loveseat and far from the sorceress. The blonde had a brief fantasy of ducking behind Xellos, just as Lina threw a high powered spell, and struck the Mazoku, if not dead, then permanently mute. He would clutch his throat and beg for her to heal him, but oh, since he couldn’t speak, how could she know what he wanted? Xellos would of course not just disappear and leave, but at the least, she would never have to deal with that nasally drone ever again.
It was a sweet fantasy, and Filia imagined Xellos having to be a mime for the rest of eternity instead of where she was and who she was with.

"You're all cowards!"
Amelia looked up from her glass. "Miss Lina," she whined. "Stop doing speeches on tables and stealing my moves!"
"If I could admit how I feel, you should all be able to do the same!" Lina pointed an accusing finger at her friends.
Three thoughts went through her head:
Get off my table.

Wait.

What?
"What." Filia's face was perfectly blank.
"What?" Next to her, much too close, Xellos' face was politely inquisitive.
Zelgadiss looked uncomfortable. For the man who was supposed to be the designated sane member of their group, he seemed to know what Lina was talking about. And Amelia, the crazy romantic member of the group, shifted in her seat at Lina's words. Xellos, the member of the group who knew everything, had no idea what was happening. Gourry, who was Gourry, looked wise.
Filia had a bad feeling.
It was one that she did not need to take her mace out and perform a fortune reading. This was one that she knew down to the marrows of her bones and a message that even Cepheid did not need to send her.
"It just makes me sick to be around all this repressed...hormones!"
"What?"
"Lina, not now."
"No," the red-head said dramatically. "It's time we laid everything out on the table."
"Miss Lina--"
Lina's finger was a dangerous weapon that could inspire as much shame as a look from the highest order of priesthood. Filia even began squirming, and she hadn't even done anything. "You need to finally admit how you feel for each other. Take a lesson from me and Gourry." Besides her, the blonde man nodded solemnly and refilled the glasses neatly, not spilling a drop.
"It's a shame you guys aren't together like me and Lina. Then we could do group dating things. Lina and me are always talking about spending time with other couples." He squeezed Lina hand in his and they gave each other sickeningly sweet looks. Xellos began gagging, uncontrollably, and Filia for once didn't blame him.
"Us?"
"Together?" Filia prayed that Lina was referring to her and the lamp. The infamous couple of Filia and her mace. Lina wanted Filia to finally admit her feelings for the couch she was sitting on. Filia needed to own up for how she felt about the coat rack. Her torrent love affair with the table would have to end. Yes. Filia could accept that.
And Xellos…well, clearly him and that staff were more than friends. Or perhaps Lina had walked in on him, frantically petting his horrible haircut and whispering sweet nothings to it. Maybe he just had a thing with her furniture? Yes, the couch was cheating on Filia with him. She would of course burn it and swear, before Lina, that she would stick only to armchairs.
"We all know about you and Zelgadiss, Amelia."
Amelia went on the defensive. "Know what? Know what? You don't know anything. Zelgadiss and I are friends."
Zelgadiss went for offense. "Since when were you allowed to start giving dating advice? Just because you and Gourry are married, you think you can just go around giving tips? It took you two nearly a decade!"

Filia wanted to applaud.
"Oh, please." Lina waved a hand at them. "It was only a couple of years. And the longing looks, the way you two always fight together and look out for each other. The bracelet. The 'protector' thing. Who do you think you're kidding? We've all done that." Gourry nodded sagely. He and Lina gave each other gooey disgusting sticky looks of pure love.
Once, Filia had thought herself a romantic--then she met humans that the romance novels and stories talked about.
"We all notice these things." Amelia and Zelgadiss gave each other shifty non-glances. They shrugged, faces red, and Filia knew they had lost.
"Uh. Well." was Zelgadiss' fine reply.
Suddenly, it occurred to Filia that maybe Lina and Gourry were not the only ones to admit to themselves and each other how they felt. Amelia scooted over and awkwardly put her arm around Zelgadiss' shoulder. He patted her head fondly, not meeting anyone's eyes.
She turned on her heel to stare down the other two.
Lina had nothing. Nothing. Whatsoever. She'd lost her mind.
“And you two! The hair tugging and pinching. As though you two were five year olds. You two are like thousands of years old put together, and you are still in kindergarten, only with hormones.”
“Excuse me?” The Mazoku looked about him, as though he thought Lina was referring to him and perhaps his purse or his stupid shoes or the throw pillows.
“We all see the looks. Obviously you two are very passionate about each other. I wouldn’t be surprised if you were sleeping together this entire time.”
Both the dragon and Mazoku recoiled on the couch in horror.
"Are you implying that Xellos and I--?"
Xellos throat became unstuck. "Please tell me this is all an elaborate joke to mess with me? Please. You win. Just make it stop."
"You two are nearly as bad as them."
"No we're not." Xellos objected. "Nowhere near them. At all. Except in purely the literal sense."
Filia felt cold and betrayed. A kitten left out in the snow. "How can you possible suggest that Xellos and I and..." She couldn't even finish her sentence. The world had stopped and begun to tilt in the wrong direction, sending the blonde flying.
She recalled hearing the knocking at her door in the beginning of the evening, and wondering with a sense of forbidding, who that could be at such a late hour? Filia should have just ignored it and better yet, grabbed Val's egg and run out the backdoor to never return. She would change her name, darken her hair, and begin anew. Just as Val had done. They would never find her, even Xellos.
Xellos. And her? There was no one else on the planet she'd rather date. No one. There were slugs Filia would prefer to share a meal with. Piles of stones. Sludge. Even other Mazoku. She would literally prefer to go out with a pile of used diapers than a single meal with Xellos. And Lina, somehow, thought that she shared a bed with this awful creature who had murdered hundreds of her kind, and was ugly and hateful and she just hated him so much, so very much.
How could anyone think otherwise?
"We all know how you two interact. It's pretty obvious that you two are attracted to each other."
Filia stood up. Her face was gray except for two pink points high on her cheeks. She said mechanically, "I need to go check on Val. Excuse me." Lina's hold on her cape was immediate.
"You're not going anywhere."
“Miss Lina, please--”
“Just admit how sick and troubled hiding your relationship is.”
“The only thing sick here is that you’d think I’d ever stoop to go on so much as a date with that pile of filth!”
“Please. That mace and that staff are clear phallus symbols.”
Xellos dropped his staff like it had caught on fire and began trying to bite him. Filia ripped her weapon from her thigh and hurdled the mace over his head.
"You...Xellos and I aren't together...in any universe, in any way."
"You held out longer than Amelia and Zel, I'll give you that."
"Damnit, Lina--"
"You two are so pathetic."
"Well, at least Zel is intelligent." Amelia gave a guilty look at Gourry. "Sorry."
The tall man shrugged. "So'okay. At least Lina has good taste in food. Hot pot..."
Zelgadiss choked. "Not this again."
"Roast beef!?"
"Hot pot!?"
"Gourry's better looking," Lina shot off.
Amelia sputtered. “In what universe?"
"Every. Single. One. And he's better in drag."
"Amelia's prettier."
"She has a bigger chest," Gourry threw in.
Lina kicked him.
"And uh, Lina has longer legs?"
She patted his head. "Good boy."
Kisses, angry, show-off kisses were exchanged. Take that, they told each other, while Filia wanted to claw her own eyes out and get back on subject: how she and Xellos would never so much as share a peaceful lunch let alone a date. Why were they ignoring this topic, as though it didn’t matter at all? It was everything!
"Zelgadiss has dignity."
Lina laughed and laughed. "Zelgabunny!"
"Dragon spooker!"
"Crazy girl!"
"Zelgadiss is better in bed!"
"Of course he isn't! He probably can't even hold a girl's hand right! Gourry's excellent though."
Amelia jumped on Zelgadiss' lap and began kissing him. Lina huffed and grabbed Gourry.
Xellos' mouth kept opening and close. Opening and close. Opening and closing. "Is this happening?" He asked Filia, politely. For the first time except possibly when fighting Valgaav, Filia felt a sense of companionship with him. Usually, when her friends went insane, he would only encourage and enable their craziness. But this was a path that even he did not dare tread down.
They watched Amelia shoved Zelgadiss off the couch, then begin climbing on him. Their arms wrapped around each other. Lina threw one of Gourry's boots at them.
"I haven't had this vivid a hallucination since that time I smoked those morning flowers." He laughed, and she laughed as well. Just a hallucination. The gas had leaked from her stove (wonderful inventions out here) and she was lying on the floor somewhere in reality, drooling and slowly dying. Her face and fingernails were turning blue as she asphyxiated. She laughed as her sanity crumbled. The deeper her denial went, the more she laughed.
Filia and Xellos laughed for a long time.
"None of this is real, then."
Xellos giggled. Filia could almost find it charming; that's how far she was gone. "Nope! Just a figment of our minds."
Together, they saw Gourry and Lina stripping down to their underwear. Their kisses were hungry and Lina ripped the shorts right off him. Lina took a glance at the other couple, and Xellos and Filia hopelessly following her gaze. Amelia was naked, still on Zelgadiss, her breast against his mouth. His underwear was sliding off.
"Hah, Gourry's bigger!"
"Zelgadiss is thicker!"
The smiles were dying from Filia and Xellos' faces.
"Very vivid though, isn't it?"
"Disturbingly so."
They looked down at their glasses. "Tea would be nice, wouldn't it?"
"Yes, very. I especially enjoyed that raspberry blend you threw in my face last week."
"Thank you."
"No. Thank you."
They sighed. "So, what's the plan tomorrow?"
Lina was pouring the rest of the wine onto Gourry's chest and sucking it off. Zelgadiss was kissing down Amelia's body, pausing when he reached the spot between her legs. The princess moans increased.
"Burn the house down."
"Of course." He sipped at his wine. "And after?"
"Make sure they're all dead."
Xellos' face brightened. "I can help with that."
"That would be nice." Filia smiled at him. A bra just barely missed her head. It slid down the backside of the couch, to fall underneath it and never be found again. She didn't blink at it.
Xellos smiled back. They looked at each other for a long time, smiling. Smiling. Her mouth hurt. "So, how's work been?"
"Slow. Not much to do. Not too many Clair Bible manuscripts left to destroy." Xellos dodged a knife tossed from Zelgadiss.
"I know how that is."
"The economy and all."
"Mm-hmm."
"I guess there's always spying, to keep me afloat."
"Recently I started expanding to mauls."
"How's that working out for you?"
Filia ran a finger through her hair. "Good, good. You know how it is."
"I bet you're pretty good with a maul, then?"
"Well, I do prefer a good mace. But no, I'm not bad with a maul."
Xellos shifted a centimeter closer. "I've always been fond of my staff."

"I know." She smiled at him. "My maces are clearly superior though."
He cleared his throat and seemed to decide not to fight over it. Lina's frantic, melodramatic screams would have blocked out his insults anyway.

"My master, Beast Master Zelas that is, she enjoys a good mace every now and then."
"I see."
Zelgadiss was cursing and saying Amelia's name over and over again. Her head was in his lap and Filia did her best not to look. She knew what they were doing, yet, she did not. Xellos moved a little closer. "She might be interested in seeing some of your wares."
"That would be--" Filia thought on that. Arming a Mazoku with one of her beloved weapons. "Interesting."
Xellos raised his arm awkwardly, as though he was trying to sniff his armpit. From what Filia could tell however, he didn't seem to smell like much at all. He dragged his seemingly partially paralyzed arm next to her.
Slowly, he rested an elbow on the couch next to her shoulder.
She looked at it closely. His gloves were stupid looking. Agonizingly, the Mazoku dragged his arm up so it lay above her shoulders.
"Uhm."
"Umh," Filia responded.
He rested it against her. It felt human enough. It was cold in the room, and he was warm.
Gourry nearly threw Lina onto Filia’s coffee table. Neither of them cared when it splintered. Their looks were so fiery Filia nearly flushed more over that then their nudity. When the blond man jumped on Lina, the table broke completely and sent them falling, although again the two didn't care. Lina's nails and teeth drew blood on Gourry's fair skin.

Filia and Xellos both made noises of discomfort. When she did something horrible to him with her fingers, they both gasped.
Xellos flinched when Amelia grabbed a hold of the gold and white patterned couch's side with one small hand, just a foot from the Mazoku. Filia glanced over at them politely. Amelia was bracing herself as Zelgadiss entered her. One long fingered hand played with her breast, the other making circular motions between her thighs. Filia took a long sip of her wine and looked away. The couch slid left centimeter by centimeter while he pounded into her. "Zel. Zel. You’re so much better than Gourry."
“Oh please! Look at what Gourry and I can do.” A new position was attempted, and failed, and Filia did her best not to shudder, and only to remind herself to get new wallpaper to replace the strip Lina had ripped down.
"I haven't done this in a couple of centuries."
"Really?"
"Busy you know. And," Xellos tried to smile charmingly, but it came out slightly pathetic and slimy. "I've just been waiting and saving myself for a golden dragon as beautiful as you are to arrive."
"Gods, Xellos, that was terrible. And here I thought you were still a virgin? Who willingly had sex with you?"
"Oh, shush." He kissed her forehead and began undoing her cape.
"Do I have to undress you, and can you just snap a finger and make them disappear."
"So impatient." He kissed her neck, which was something else that was interesting. Especially when he began working up to her ears.
"I can't wait to rip that stupid hat off you."
"I wish I could rip that stupid haircut off you."
Xellos giggled and tossed her hat at Lina. "Filia has nicer hair." He looked downward. "And a pretty decent chest."
"Xellos has no ass!"
"Hey. That's not how it works."
"Sorry, force of habit."
"Silly dragon."
"Shut up." His hair was silky. Filia kissed his small ears and watched him squirm. He made his shirt disappear. Of course his upper body was well sculpted. In a slightly skinny, underdeveloped way.
To the right of them, the couch had slid so far that Amelia was on her knees and Zelgadiss behind her with no piece of furniture to brace themselves against or hide their nudity. Lina and Gourry were rolling around on the floor.
"You have ears like an elf." It came out as an insult.
"You have the body of a twelve year old."
"Only under my bed, dear."
Amazingly, Filia found herself laughing. Lina and everyone else had gone insane, so why couldn't she? Why couldn’t she? It was only fair. They couldn’t judge her. There was no one here to prove her innocence and sanity to. The idea of that was both terrifying, and thrilling. "Don't call me that."
"Dear? Darling. Sweetums. Honeybun."
"Stop it." His skin was fake and tanner than her’s and he shifted when she ran a hand down his bare chest. There was a very interesting bulge in his pants, and Filia began laughing. "Overcompensation."
Then, "Xellos is bigger than Gourry and Zelgadiss!"
"Dragon breath."
"That's better."
He peeled her gloves off.
"Garbage." Her tongue flicked out to touch his ear. "Filthy, filthy garbage."
Her teeth sunk into his neck and Xellos moaned. “I love it when you’re so dominate. It’s just like my master. So naughty." He obnoxiously giggled again. "What would your elders think if they saw you like this? Oh wait, they're all dead."
Filia's tail popped out, finally. Xellos had creepy ‘mother’ issues, why was she not surprised? Hey…why was she not surprised!? “What would your master say if she saw you like this?"
"Mm, harsh, my dear." He began untying the back of her dress. His fingers played with the tip of her tail.
"You don't have to be a dragon for this to happen do you?"
"You don't have to be a cone, do you?"
"No, being a human for this act is...fun."
"Mm, fun, yeah." Xellos' mouth felt funny on her breasts. Sinful, shame, betrayer. Her friends' moans blocked out the rest of the mantra. When Xellos slid his fingers into her underwear while the other ran down her tail, Filia found she could shove it all away. Including the sound of flesh on flesh on wood on her favorite rug, on her end table and on the smashed coffee table, and the cursing, and the yelling.
He paused. "Although, if you were in dragon form, I could still work with that."
Filia decided not to respond to that. "Just shut up and keep touching me."

"Overgrown lizar--no, iguana."
"You're a demon."
"Would a pair of horns help? Or a pair of wings?"
"What kind of wings? Ah, Xellos..."
"Small black ones, leather optional."
"Shh."
"Just do that."
He pushed his chin against her shoulder. Above them, the banner still held. The smiley face was covered partially by a pair of Gourry's underwear. Emblazoned with another bright yellow happy face, Filia was unable to turn away. Trapped here, by her wonderful, loving friends that expressed their emotions through violence and sex. Exactly what her old teachers had warned her about.
He whispered into her ear. "I think we're better at this than they are."
- 1
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The Honeymoon Party	By : ThePhizz Category: +S to Z > Slayers Views: 3078 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Do not own Slayers and am not making any money from this.

The Honeymoon Party