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Pervert	By : sashocirrione Category: Death Note > Het-Male/Female > L/Misa Views: 15452 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Chapter List
- 1-Pervert
- 1
CHAPTER 8 of "Smutty Shorts"

Title: "Pervert"

Author: Sashocirrione

Spoilers: MAJOR Spoilers for everything up to chapter 58 of the manga and episode 25 of the anime, plus a spoiler for Watari's real name.

Warnings: NO UNDERAGE READERS. Rated M for a reason. Sexual activities. Mild violence and threats of severe violence.

Summary: Rem watches L and Misa have sex.

Pairing: LxMisa

Additional Notes: Canon is altered as little as I could alter it in order to make the events of this fic possible. It's a divergent AU. Also, an obscure shinigami rule is used.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, and I do not make any money from these writings.

Don't trust him. Don't trust him. Don't trust him.

The mantra beat inside Rem's head, an expression of terror and hatred. Terror for what might happen to Misa if things went wrong, if that cruel electronic voice of some cold and distant detective ever should pronounce Misa ready to be put on trial. And hatred for Light Yagami, the man who had brought so much danger close to Misa, the man who had refused to tell his entire plan to Rem but simply sent her off, assuring her it would all work out, though she had her doubts.

Rem had found her way to Higuchi, where she fretted as the days ticked by, hoping that L must indeed release Misa because of the deaths restarting while both Kiras were locked up, away from the news that would tell them the names of new criminals.

Well, there was a way around the issue of trusting Light. Rem hadn't told Light everything. There was a secret method to check up on his progress, maybe even to influence events more in Misa's favor instead of Light's. That was why Rem told Higuchi about a very obscure shinigami rule: if the human death note owner gives permission for a trip, the shinigami who is attached to that notebook can roam on a journey much longer than the usual distance restriction. As long as you stayed in the human world, and as long as you returned to the human owner soon, it was permitted.

Light had seemingly disappeared off the face of the earth, not existing at his home or his university, and his mother and sister talked as if they didn't know where he was either. But Misa was easy to find. She was in the same place, still blindfolded and in a straightjacket, the only difference being that she was now allowed to sit through her days of tedium.

That same electronic voice of an unfindable, distant L asked her questions relentlessly, which she answered far too honestly in her memory-impaired state; and the same old man, with the name Quillsh Wammy floating above his head, attended to Misa's daily needs.

Rem's anger grew and grew as the situation continued, as she debated with herself about whether to abandon Light's plan, kill or mind-wipe Higuchi, and then break out Misa physically. Misa wasn't due to die soon, but she was obviously miserable.

And then, there was a break. The distorted voice said that Misa would be let free at a particular day and time. Rem made sure to be there, watching nervously as Misa, with her eyes uncovered but still handcuffed, was taken away in a car driven by Light's father. And then, after a drive, Light was picked up from his own distant holding cell, and the two were told that they were being driven to their execution.

It wasn't true, of course. Rem could see that by the lifespans above their heads. They would both live.

Rem was apprehensive but excited as Soichiro detoured, explaining his plan, his plan that would supposedly leave Light and himself dead but Misa unharmed, for the moment. Rem hoped Soichiro would do it. Perhaps Light would be brain-damaged for life, or in a coma. Rem didn't care as the gun came around to rest against Light's head. As long as Misa was unharmed, it would be all for the good if Light became unable to carry out his evil plans.

The gun went off in a cough of smoke and heat, nothing but a blank, and then that hated electronic voice was back, explaining the trick and saying that Light and Misa had earned partial freedom. They would be watched, with Light chained to the detective himself, but Misa could come and go as long as she had a police officer to watch her, free to continue her career.

Rem visited less often after that, just occasional visits to bask in Misa's new happiness and to try to figure out what Light's plan might be, those hidden pieces of the scheme that even Light himself had forgotten. To outmaneuver Light, that was the new goal. It seemed that it should be easy, with Light completely unaware and the new Kira at Rem's potential beck and call.

Even destroying L should not be an issue. It would be as simple as tricking or forcing Higuchi to accept the eye deal and then exposing L's face to him, without exposing or endangering Misa in the process. The only reason Rem hadn't done it already was that it seemed from talk among L's employees that L's death would trigger some trap or else would cause heavy suspicion to fall back on Light and Misa. It was obviously best to wait until a better time.

And then, right in the middle of those months of waiting and scheming, just as summer was drawing to an end, the most unexpected event turned everything upside-down.

Rem really couldn't believe her eyes when she came to visit Misa and found L off the chain and just entering Misa's front door, hunched over further than usual, his hands thrust deep in his pockets, shuffling in an uncertain manner as Misa beckoned him inside.

In a surly tone, Misa said, "Is Light chained to Watari again?"

"Yes," L replied.

She stalked over to him, reaching up to his shoulders to grab the fabric and knotted her fingers there, yanking him down to her level, mashing their lips together in an aggressive kiss on her part that he barely, tepidly met.

When Misa broke it off, she said, "Go sit on the sofa. And don't offer me any cake this time!"

Silently, L obeyed. Misa disappeared into her bathroom to primp and adjust her hair for a few minutes, and then returned to sit on the sofa beside L.

"You sit the wrong way," Misa said, "it's time to straighten your legs."

She grabbed his bare feet and pulled them out from under him, unbalancing and rotating his body at the same time, until she had him completely stretched out, laying on his back and taking up the entire length of the sofa. His eyes were open and solemn, very wide, his gaze fastened on Misa. The tiniest slice of pale, smooth stomach showed where his shirt was riding up.

"Now there's not any room for me! You did that on purpose, didn't you? Pervert! You're forcing me to sit on you, Ryuzaki."

Rem couldn't help but drift closer to the strange proceedings as Misa settled onto L's knees. To see Misa ordering around the great detective and him being submissive and obedient, it was completely impossible to comprehend. And, perhaps, it would have some important bearing on the case's unfolding, revealing some piece of vital information.

Not watching was not an option.

Misa's hands played along the edges of L's jeans, then pushed his shirt even higher on his stomach and undid the front of his jeans, yanking them down, revealing underwear, and then that was yanked down too, to reveal his rather undignified male parts nestled into the hollow between his legs.

Rem drifted even closer. Usually, humans did not show these parts. They looked rather ugly, but also cute, small and vulnerable. The part like a short, fat worm began rising and lengthening. L's breath caught as Misa grabbed it.

"What's this? You perv! Did I tell you that you could do that? Your penis is going to get all huge now and I'll have to sit on it."

Misa snapped her fingers against it in a painful-looking way, but it only became larger in response, so large in comparison to its earlier state that Rem had trouble believing it. Now, the penis was rearing up like a pillar, bobbing just slightly, the tip swollen and protruding.

Misa let out an annoyed-sounding huff, pulled a condom out of her purse, tore the package open with her teeth and then began unrolling it over L's organ. L still said nothing but he blinked slowly several times during the process, and both of them were breathing faster.

Rem understood the basics of sex, but she hadn't seen it for a long time, and then only by accident. It didn't seem likely that something that size could go into Misa without trouble, into a place where Misa had no obvious hole but only a series of folds.

It was surprising, therefore, when Misa climbed up L's body, straddling his crotch, and simply lowered herself onto that stiff rod with a loud sigh, one long stroke and it had disappeared inside her, her mini-skirt riding up on her spread legs, showing her complete lack of panties. Her face was reddened, her breaths even louder than before.

L showed surprisingly little reaction as she rode him, only closing his eyes more frequently and breathing harder. Her blond hair and her jewelry swung in time with her vigorous thrusts, and her small breasts bounced just a bit, but he was strangely motionless.

Even his hands lay limply at his sides, completely passive until Misa snarled at him and said, "You're a lazy, selfish child, not a man! Do I have to force you to make me come?"

And then he let her guide one of his hands underneath her skirt, and when she had it moving against her in a rhythm that made her gasp and made her thrusts irregular, she stopped guiding it and he continued just the same way, that one motion, mechanical, of a largely still body.

She moved down over him again and again, and his hand repeated the learned motion, until she suddenly leaned backwards, an arch in her spine and her neck at once, still riding him, just slowly, and let out a series of high-pitched breathy moans.

After a few verbal insults, she continued the ride and made him bring her to that blissful state twice more before everything about her demeanor suddenly changed. At once, she looked so angry, so red-faced, that Rem at first started forward instinctively for Misa's safety, before she realized Misa was also smiling.

Misa's crouch was lower, predatory, and she wrapped her hands around L's throat, provoking the first strong facial expression he'd had, something like excitement and fear mixed together. He gasped raspily as she choked him and rode harder than ever.

"You pervert!" Misa shouted, "You like this, don't you?"

L struggled slightly, very slightly, and his face became red, and then some sort of force seemed to suddenly move through his body, his hips twitching, his muscles alternately tight and loose. Misa let up her choke-hold and they were both panting, eye-to-eye, staring at each other. L's face was slowly returning to its normal pale color.

Misa hopped up, pulled the condom away, tied it into a knot and threw it into the trash perfectly. L sat up and rubbed his nose, then stood and pulled his clothing back into place in a few awkward lurches. He stared at her with his finger in his mouth, and she, from a few paces away, stood with her arms crossed and feet fidgeting. It seemed odd that it should be over so quickly and unceremoniously.

L said, "Then, at three o'clock tomorrow too?"

"Yes, you know that. Pervert! You need it every day, don't you?"

"Perhaps Misa is the one who needs it every day. She is considerably wet every time I put a finger inside her."

Misa stuck up her nose and said, "If you weren't a pervert, you wouldn't like such weird things. Go away, Ryuzaki."

He turned and wandered out of the room as if nothing had happened. Misa picked up a magazine and began paging through it. Rem was still trying to process what had just happened. L and Misa didn't seem like the sort of people who would hook up with each other, for any reason, let alone repeatedly. And yet, they apparently had a thing, a regular thing.

The mating that humans were so obsessed with, it was oddly fascinating, strangely grotesque. It looked ugly and awful and yet it made humans so happy. Yes, happy.

Here was the happiness that Misa hadn't found with Light. With L, it seemed like a very strange relationship, full of feigned anger, certainly not what Rem would have chosen for Misa. But it was far nicer than anything Light had offered. Better yet, it did not come with a partner who had clearly been scheming to kill a shinigami.

L may be dangerous, but he's not as dangerous as Light and he could be a very powerful protector for Misa. If Light's plan does end up hinging on my death, I will immediately go to L in secret and offer an alliance.

A/N (Author's Note):

This is a fill for a request on the Death Note Kink Meme 2, on livejournal at dn_kink2. The original request reads:

"Rem is watching either L and Light have sex or L and Misa. Your choice of either pairing! Or a threesome! L with Light, Misa or both as Rem observes.

Ryuk gets to watch the sexytimes so much in fic, and poor Rem almost never!"
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