Because I Lost | By : ValkryieCullen Category: +G to L > Hetalia: Axis Powers Views: 1912 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia: Axis Powers, nor the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. |
I don’t own Hetalia, Hidekaz Himaruya does. This story is directly connected to ‘It Echoes Back’, a Eurovision fanfic on fanfiction.net. This is DenNor fanfic, and a first-person POV from Norway’s perspective. Warnings include OOCness, slight noncon, and m/m sexual situations. I hope you enjoy!
Because I lost
1905
This wasn’t my goal.
My fingers tug into the thighs closed in tight on either side of me. My head arched back and found a shoulder. I squeezed my eyes shut, my breathing erratic but I tried not to make a sound. I couldn’t make any noise!
The hand around my penis continued to stroke me mercilessly. It felt good, but the pain overshadowed the pleasure. Lips kissed my neck, and a tongue licked its way up my neck to my ear. I caught myself in time, before I started moaning, as that tongue stabbed into my ear and licked the lobe.
Then…then his voice rasped at my ear. “Did you think I would allow it?”
My eyes opened. I didn’t look at him. I instead focused on the dresser at the far side of the bedroom. “D-Danmark…hrm…” I made an involuntary sound and bit my lip.
“All the years…pining and longing for you, and for what?!” Denmark sounded so angry. His anger showed with his rough caresses. “You promised me, Norge. You promised you would come back to me! But you’re NOT!”
“Denmark…” I tried to form words, even as his hands forced me into arousal. “Try to understand—”
His free hand reached up and grabbed my hair roughly. I barked in pain, and dug my fingernails hard into his legs. If I hurt him, he didn’t let it on. “Understand, Norge?! I only understand that you are MINE! Mine, Norge! I was forced to give you up to Sweden, but you’ve always belonged to me! Nothing is going to change that! Not even…” he chuckled at my ear. “Not even your independence.”
I could fight him. Denmark was stronger than me physically, but I had magic on my side. I could call forth my troll or any other creatures to subdue him.
But I didn’t. I couldn’t even fight back against him. “Denmark—”
“Nej.” Denmark stroked my penis even harder. “Don’t deny me, Norge.”
Heat began building rapidly inside of me. I closed my eyes again and leaned forward. “Oooh…” I couldn’t help it. Even though it hurt, I felt the pleasure too, and it was beginning to quickly overshadow my pain. Forgetting my situation, I hung onto his legs and thrusted forward, thrusting into his hand. “Haa…uh…”
“Ja.” Denmark kissed me again. It didn’t feel as hard this time, but I barely noticed. “Cum for me, my beautiful Norge.”
“Ha—AH!” I arched back, slamming against Denmark as a sharp orgasm shook my body. I shuddered as I came into his hand, even splattering onto his arm.
For several minutes neither of us spoke. We sat there in his bed, struggling to catch our breaths. He released me and drew his hand away. I still couldn’t look at him, but I heard him lick my cum off his fingers. I hugged my arms and shuddered.
Finally, he spoke. “Will you still be cruel to me, Norge?”
I stiffened. I hugged myself tighter, curling in slightly. Denmark didn’t understand my feelings. Why was it so difficult for him to comprehend?
“…Jeg beklager,” I said very quietly, ducking my head. “But I’m not going to change my mind.”
Denmark was silent. I sat there, between his legs, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
“DIT SVIN!” he shouted suddenly. I started as his clean hand closed around my throat. Before I could react he shoved me down hard upon the bed, my head hitting the pillows. He straddled my waist, still my throat. “Dit svin! Forræder!”
I forced myself to look up at him. Denmark’s face was twisted in blind fury, and his blue eyes glared down at me. It was a stark contrast to his expression, and the way he’d looked at me, when I had arrived at his house an hour ago.
“You selfish, dirty bastard!” he spat at me, squeezing his hand around my throat. “Do you know the AGONY I’ve suffered these last ninety-one years without you?! Knowing you were in that stodder’s hands and I couldn’t do ANYTHING about it?!” he wrung my neck. “And you come to me?! Come to me after swearing to come back to me, and tell me you can’t be with me?!”
“Guh…” I finally grabbed his wrist and squeezed it hard. “D-D-Denmark…”
“Not just that!” Denmark roared. I felt his hand loosen around my neck, but his fury was still strong. “But you come here not to see ME AT ALL! NEJ! You only came here for YOUR SIBLINGS!”
I knew I could’ve been more tactful than I was. When the Treaty of Kiel had been signed in 1814, I had been forced to leave Denmark and my siblings; Iceland, Greenland, and Faroe. And…and I did promise Denmark to come back to him once I was free of Sweden.
But…I was my own country for the first time since before the Kelmar Union. I was truly independent. It was a feeling I had longed forgotten, and I wanted it to stay that way. I wanted Iceland and the others back because they were my siblings. I brought them all with me into the Kelmar Union so long ago. They were rightfully mine.
“You…” Denmark leaned down so that he was inches from my own face. “You would abandon me, Norge?! You would take away these children I have guarded in your absence and leave me with nothing?! Not even you?!”
I pulled on his hand, and it finally broke free. I coughed briefly from the constricting, and looked at him again. That was a mistake. Denmark was still so angry, but…his eyes. He looked so…sad behind his anger. It was almost too much to take.
“…Danmark,” I said at length. “Understand my feelings. I am a truly free country for the first time in over six hundred years. I can make decisions for myself and I don’t need to rely on anyone. Iceland, Greenland, and Faroe…they’re mine. I’m thankful that you’ve taken care of them for me, but they’re my siblings.” I looked away, unable to stand the pain in his face. “I must do this. Or I will never be free again.”
Denmark slowly ducked his head. I could no longer see his face. It was a long moment before he spoke, and his words shook my world.
“Jeg elsker dig.”
A sharp pain ruptured from my chest. I sucked in a sharp breath. “Denmark—”
He looked up again, and I stopped. The fury had returned fully to his eyes.
“I won’t accept this!” he snapped. He grabbed my collar in both hands and ripped my shirt clean in half. “I won’t let you leave me, Norge!”
“Ah—” before I could react further, Denmark shoved me face first into the pillows. His hand caught the back of my loose pants and yanked them down my thighs, baring my buttocks to him. “D-Denmark!” I braced my hands on the bed, knowing what he was about to do. But…but I was shocked at myself.
Because still, I didn’t fight back. I could stop him from doing what he was about to do to me, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t even form the refusal in words.
Denmark grabbed my hips. I gasped as he began licking at my entrance quickly, as though to prepare me. I was surprised he would do this much, but still I didn’t move away.
Just as quickly, his mouth disappeared. I didn’t have time to brace myself as he plunged into my body with a single thrust. I hissed in pain and immediately tensed, fingernails ripping into the sheets. I had to stop him. I couldn’t allow the intimacy to go any further.
But I couldn’t stop him. Deep down, I wasn’t certain I wanted to stop him.
“Haaaaa…” the sound of Denmark’s voice held desperation and relief. It was so shocking to me. “Norge…” his grip on my hips loosened to a tender hold as he arched slightly against me. “Finally…I’ve waited so long for this…”
He no longer sounded angry. His voice still held relief and desperation. To hear those emotions, knowing they were for me only, touched me to the core. As much as it ached my heart.
Despite his rough ministrations before, Denmark held me tenderly as he thrust in and out of my body. I felt tears stinging my eyes, but not from the pain. Because I knew Denmark wanted to make love to my body, as he had done so oftentimes before. He wanted to hang onto me with everything he had, even if it meant forcing himself on me.
But I couldn’t be with him like that again. I just couldn’t.
“Norge…”
Teardrops hit the small of my back. I started, and my body shifted. “Uuhn!” I grunted as he pierced a wonderful place inside of me that erased all of my physical pain.
“Norge.” Denmark was crying. He was openly weeping as he made love to me. “Bedes, elskede. Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me, Norge. Bedes…”
My resolve wavered at the pain in his voice. He didn’t realize it, but I understood his anguish. I felt the same longing all of these years being apart from him. Did he think this was easy for me? But I wanted my freedom! Why couldn’t he understand that?!
Denmark fell against my back, hugging me tight. He was no longer moving against me. He sobbed into the middle of my back as he dug his fingers into my chest. “Don’t go. Don’t leave me alone, Norge. Don’t leave me all alone without anyone. I can’t be without you. Jeg elsker dig! Jeg elsker dig…”
Tears stung my eyes again as we simply lay there. I couldn’t help myself. I linked my fingers into his and brought his hands to my mouth. I kissed his fingers, his knuckles, and his palms. I nuzzled them to my face and laced my fingers with his.
I couldn’t be with him. But after everything we had suffered, I wanted to be kind to him.
“Norge…” he breathed my name across my skin, and rose once more. I held onto his hands as he resumed his thrusts, snapping his hips against my butt. I didn’t hold my voice back. I cried out in pleasure from the sharp feelings humming through my body. I was so ready; when he grabbed my penis again he touched me so gently. I slammed back against his groin and groaned and shuddered as I came again. He thrusted two more times hard against me and stiffened. “Hrhnnn!” he shuddered and groaned as he came inside of me.
We fell against the bed, and he tried to pull me into his arms. I tried to give us some distance, but Denmark wouldn’t let me. To feel him hugging me so tenderly brought back so many good memories. But each one was like a stab wound.
We didn’t say a word. He hung onto me, stroking my hair, until sleep claimed him. The bedroom had become so dark. It had once been our bedroom, and my body and my heart wanted to relax against the nation who had been my lover for so long.
But my mind was made up. And I knew if I gave in, I would never be able to get away.
When I was certain he was fully asleep, I disentangled myself from Denmark’s arms. He looked so peaceful in his sleep. It broke my heart to see him like this, because when he woke in the morning I would be gone.
I wanted to see my siblings. But I knew that Denmark wasn’t going to hand them back over to me so easily. Not unless I came back to him, which I couldn’t do.
I reached out and stroked his face. This had been an ugly experience, but it had been so beautiful too. And it was painful to me because I knew it could never happen again.
I kissed him, very lightly, on the mouth. “Jeg elsker deg,” I whispered to him before I drew away.
It couldn’t happen again. I just couldn’t.
May 8th, 2011
“Hey Norge. How about we have a healthy wager?”
I gave Denmark a dark look as I set about unpacking my clothes. “What are you talking about?”
Denmark grinned at me from his seat. “I was just thinking that the competition this year is going to be stiff. We both have very strong songs. Why don’t we make a bet on our placement in the finals?”
I knew I needed to nip this in the bud fast. “Nei,” I said, placing the folded clothes in the dresser underneath my suite’s television.
Denmark’s face fell a little. “You’re refusing the wager without hearing the stipulations?”
“I know better than to make any bets with you, Denmark.” I could feel a headache come on quickly. I shut the drawer sharply and pulled my suitcase off my bed. It hit the floor with a loud ‘thump’.
“You wound me, Norge.” Denmark pressed a hand over his heart, but his expression was playful. I sighed and walked away from him to the bathroom to fetch some aspirin. “What’s wrong with a harmless bet between friends?”
“Eurovision is unpredictable.” I took the aspirin with a cup of water. “It’s foolish to make any bets on it.”
“But our bet is not so broad as to predict who would place first,” Denmark said defensively from his seat. “How about something a little simpler? Like, whoever places the highest in the finals?”
I was definitely regretting letting him into my suite. I left the bathroom and leaned up against the wall facing Denmark. I folded my arms over my chest and glared at him. “…Fine.”
“Fine?” his face lit up once more. “You’ll make the bet?!”
“Tell me the conditions,” I interrupted harshly. “What do I get if I place higher than you?”
“Ah…” Denmark lounged back in his chair and smiled. “I will leave you be.”
I arched an eyebrow. “…Really?”
“You don’t sound convinced, Norge. But I swear I will not bother you. No phone calls, no surprise visits, no all-night alcohol binges. Nothing.” Denmark motioned to himself. “I, the Kingdom of Denmark, will not speak or correspond with you for one full year.”
I almost gaped at him. No correspondences? I wouldn’t be bothered by him for an entire year?! It sounded too good to be true! “Y-You’re serious.”
“Helt.” There was no disguising the joy in his voice. “From May 14, 2011 to May 14, 2012, you will hear not a word of me or see me.”
Min Gud. He was being honest. I could see it in his eyes and I could feel it from him. If I placed higher than him, he truly intended to not bother me for a full-year!
I almost felt light-headed. To be without Denmark’s annoyance for a year? How could I pass something like this up?
But…then I became uneasy. This offer seemed too daunting a task for Denmark. There was hardly a day that went by where he didn’t call me or text me or message me online or show up drunk at my house. There’d be no way he’d be able to keep this bargain, and yet he offered it!
Then…what would happen if I lost?
“What happens if I lose?” I asked, my voice sounding a bit unsteady.
“Oh, that’s easy,” Denmark said.
He suddenly stood up from the chair and walked over to me. I tensed, and hung onto my arms. He reached out and braced his hands on the wall on either side of me. I didn’t like the look on his face. It was scheming…almost predatory.
“If you lose,” he said softly, leaning in slightly. “You will give me your body.”
I smacked him across the face. It was like a reflex. But I was at a loss for words. A cold fear began to develop inside of me as his head remained turned slightly away from my blow.
Denmark straightened then, and laughed slightly as he nursed his cheek with his hand. “No need to be so defensive, Norge.”
“What exactly,” I hissed out. “Do you mean by ‘give me your body’?!”
Denmark smiled again. “It’s exactly what it sounds like, Norge.” He leaned forward again, though I was ready to smack him again. “For a night you will discard inhibitions. I will taste your body, drink of your being.” He leaned his face closer to mine, but I didn’t smack him again. I simply turned my head away. “I will tangle my body with yours, and bring you to heights you haven’t been in years. Heights that only I can bring you to.”
I could feel his eyes on my face, but I couldn’t look at him. I couldn’t move. I felt paralyzed, when generally my instincts were very good. Then he leaned up and whispered into my ear. “I will make you scream so loud. And I will bring into a heaven so blissful; you won’t want to come back down.”
I shivered, and swallowed thickly. I had to get control of the situation again. I had to!
I forced myself to look at Denmark. I couldn’t ignore the sensuality in his eyes, or the lingering feelings behind them. Raw need. “So if I lose.” It was a struggle to keep my voice cold and steady. “You’re going to fuck me.”
“So crude, Norge.” Denmark stepped away from me. “Allow me to rephrase it. If you lose, for a full-night I will bring your body; your senses, nothing but pleasure.”
“You want sex from me.” The shock had abated, and anger replaced it. I stepped away from the wall, glaring at him murderously. “And for what reason did you think I would agree?! Why would I want to have sex with you?!”
For once, Denmark anticipated the danger. He raised his hands and laughed. “Norge, there’s no need to get so angry—”
“Why would I agree to this ridiculous wager?!” I shouted back at him. I could feel the magic welling up inside my being. I had the urge to set him on fire, but I was conscious of where I was. I didn’t want to pay for repair fees. “What would I get out of it all?! If anything, it benefits you more!”
“W-What does you mean?” Denmark cried out. “If you win, I’ll leave you alone! If you lose, you’ll get the greatest pleasure of your life! It’s a win-win for you!”
I jabbed a finger at him, my aura swelling. “You’re plotting something, aren’t you?! To make this challenge to me so brazenly?!”
“But think about if you win, Norge!” Denmark pleaded with me. “Not a breath of me for a year! For a full year, I swear Norge! No phone calls, no visits, no drunken ambushes, no whining, NOT A THING! I won’t speak to you or bother you for ONE FULL YEAR! I’ll take a blood-oath if I have to!” as if to emphasized this, Denmark quickly pulled a switchblade and began to rapidly roll up his sleeve. “So please make this bet with me!”
“…A blood-oath?” I could feel the anger in me cooling. Blood-oaths were different than verbal oaths in that they couldn’t be broken without dire consequences. That Denmark was offering me a blood-oath for this idiotic wager made me more uncomfortable.
He really wants to do this…My arms relaxed at my sides, but I could feel my heart slamming against the wall of my chest. He must really want me. The idiot…
“Ja, a blood-oath,” Denmark said. He was starting to calm down too, and hope jumped back into his eyes. I resisted the urge to roll my own. “So that you know I am absolutely serious.”
I stared at his pale arm, and at the ready switchblade. I felt nauseas. This was too risky, far too risky. The judge panels were so unpredictable in Eurovision. What if…
…But. Denmark had never made an offer like this before. I don’t know what warranted the change in him, but he was willing to swear a blood-oath. I don’t know if this opportunity will ever arise again.
And if I lose…no. I wouldn’t think about that.
“Follow me,” I said coldly, storming into the bathroom.
Denmark happily ran after me. “D-Does this mean you’ll do it? You’ll agree to my wager?”
I turned on the faucet and rolled up my sleeve, my back to him briefly. I turned and saw him standing at the door, sleeve still rolled up and switchblade in hand. “Well, what are you waiting for?!” I snapped, not bothering to hide my irritation and impatience. “Hurry up and cut yourself!”
I felt more uneasy to see the unbridled joy in Denmark’s face, and I winced slightly when he shouted in triumph and rushed over to the sink. Still, I couldn’t resist more inquiry into this whole matter. “Where did you even come up with an idea for this?”
“Prussia,” Denmark said. “I was out drinking with him once and he told me about this bet he’d been forced into with Austria over Eurovision 2010. The bet said if he got less than first place he had to leave to leave Austria alone for a whole year.”
That seemed too daunting a task as well. I felt another headache come on. “And what? They had sex when he did win?”
“Nej. Austria had to promise to compete this year, so Prussia could “kick his ass” on his own soil.”
…Okay. Our wager only covered half of that. Which meant Denmark’s perversion was of his own making!
Why am I surprised? This is Denmark, after all.
Denmark held his arm over the sink, but hesitated as he hovered the knife over his skin. He looked up, as if to make sure I was watching him.
Then he cut a line into his palm.
He gasped in pain, and dropped the knife into the sink. I retrieved it as drops of his blood mingled with the running water. I rinsed the knife off thoroughly and dried it with a hand towel. Before I could lose my nerve, I sliced into my own palm.
A white flash filled my vision at the shock of pain. I rinsed off the knife again and set it on the sink. I grabbed Denmark’s bleeding hand and pressed it to mine. Our fingers entwined and our uninjured hands pressed them together.
I felt nauseas from the pain, which was a bit shameful on my part. I was a former Viking, after all. But I had to take several deep breaths to make myself steady, and I forced myself to look into his blue eyes. “I swear,” I gasped out. “On my blood, that if I place lower in the Eurovision Song Contest than you, that I will s-s-sleep with you and let you…do what you want with my body.” Gud! Just to say those words hurt more than my wound!
Denmark forced a trembling smile at me. It looked difficult for him as well to speak. “And I swear, on my blood, that if I place lower in the Eurovision Song Contest than you, that I will severe all casual correspondence with your for a full calendar year.”
“No talking or meeting!” I reminded him.
Denmark nodded. “No talking or meeting.”
It was done. We pull our hands apart and rinsed off our cuts. I opened the medicine cabinet and yanked out a box of gauze. Though our wounds would heal in a couple of hours, as we were countries, it was still important to not drip blood on anything.
We didn’t speak for a few minutes as we wrapped our own wounds. I sat down on the toilet, feeling the sting running up my arm. I gently flexed my fingers and sighed. There. I took the vow. There was no going back now…
I could feel Denmark staring at me, and I only glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. He was smiling, and he suddenly held his uninjured hand out to me. “May the best man win.”
I looked at his hand, and then at his face. I felt uneasy. Eurovision was so unpredictable, but I felt uneasy. Something in me told me that taking this wager wasn’t such a good idea.
Nei. I shook my head. I’m just nervous. I’m going to do fine this year.
I stood up from the toilet and slowly shook his hand. “…May the best man win,” I echoed his words back to him.
Here's a little bit of historical background:
- The Treaty of Kiel of 1814 was in the aftermath of the Napoleonic Wars, where Denmark was forced to sign over Norway to Sweden. Sweden wanted Norway as payback for losing Finland to Russia at the end of their war in 1809, because Denmark had aided Russia in this war.
- Norway gained his independence from Sweden in 1905. Now his own country for the first time since the Kelmar Union of 1397, Norway wanted to reclaim the territories he was forced to leave to Denmark when he was signed over to Sweden: Iceland, Greenland, and the Faroe Islands. But Denmark refused to give up these territories, and Denmark and Norway ended up in international court over the issue. Instead of going to war with each other, they sued each other over who had the right to these three islands. Denmark won the lawsuit and Norway was forced to keep his independence empty-handed.
TBC...
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