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Queen Tiger: The Benifits of EX Rank Luck	By : Tritan Category: +. to F > Fate/stay Night Views: 11806 -:- Recommendations : 1 -:- Currently Reading : 0
Disclaimer: Here's a worthless disclamer saying I don't own F/SN. Here's another idiotic disclaimer that does NOTHING saying I don't earn money from it.

Chapter List
- 1-Queen Tiger: The Benifits of EX Rank Luck
- 1
Gilgamesh, King of Uruk, the original Hero. The man who which all Heroes are based off of. He owned the originals of countless Noble Phantasms. His very presence was noble and perfect. He was the King of Heroes! The greatest, the strongest! All the world was his to command! He cut down the Cedars of Humbaba! He killed the Bull of Heaven! He was the king of his world and all that lived in it.

So WHY THE HELL DID THIS WOMAN BEAT HIM IN EVERY LITTLE THING.

“Gil-chaaan!” Oh god, she was back.

“Ugggg... he-hello, Taiga.” He muttered as Fujimura Taiga wrapped her arms around him.

“Hey, hey, Gil-chan. Wanna take me out to lunch?” She said.

“Uuuuuu...” Damn it. “Taiga... well, you see, I’m a little short on money at the moment so-” A 10,000 yen bill blowing on the wind hit him in the face. Then a second one. ‘DAMN YOU GOLDEN RULE!’

“Oh hey! Lucky!” Taiga snatched the bills off his face, “OK! Gil-chan, my treat!”

“V-very well.” Gilgamesh gritted his teeth. Damn that bet he made!

/-FLASHBACK-/

It had been another normal day for Gilgamesh, King of Heroes. (Namely wander around like a bum, then go bother Saber)

“King of Heroes!” Emiya Shirou yelled at him, “For the last time! Don’t make us a get a restraining order.”

“Ah-hahaha! Like such pathetic courts apply to the King.” Gilgamesh dismissed Shirou’s threat out of hand.

“Honestly, Gilgamesh, when will you get that I have no desire to be with you.” Saber (clearly brainwashed by the Faker) said to him.

“Don’t make me and Archer kick your ass again.” Shirou said.

“Pfft, as if flukes happen more then once boy.” Gilgamesh said dismissively, “Now leave us and perhaps I’ll be-”

“Shirou! Hiii!” Instantly the atmosphere changed as a woman Gilgamesh had not seen before. He had to admit, she was rather attractive, though her choice of clothing was more, the short brown hair and well toned figure made her look good enough. Granted, nothing compared to Saber, but cute enough.

“Fu-Fuji-nee!” Shirou stammered. So the faker knew this woman.

“Who’s this guy?” She said, pointing at him. “<Hello! I’m Taiga Fujimura! Nice to meet you.>” She said in English, “<Ah, are you a friend of Saber’s, perhaps?>”

“<Oh, you might say I am. Hahahaahah!>” Gilgamesh said back, grinning at the Faker, who clearly had no idea what they were taking about.

“....Saber, did you get that? You’re English, right?”

“...sorry, Shirou. I don’t speak modern English... the Grail taught me Japanese and German, not English.”

“Seriously? Anyways, Fuji-nee, he knows Japanese.” He shouted to the woman, “Don’t let him speak privately to you without me being able to point out the crap he will inevitably spew.”

“Pfft. You’re no fun, Faker.” Gilgamesh scoffed, “So, woman, what is your relationship with this lowly peasant!” At this point, he could see that the Faker didn’t want him interacting with this woman. So what else to do but piss him off by doing so?

“Ah. I’m Shirou’s big sister!” She puffed her chest with pride.

“I see...” Oh, this was perfect. Few things could piss a man off more then being a threatening male around his sister. He leaned in close, “Ah, well, frankly, you seem to have a better personality then him.” He gestured at Shirou, who clearly looked like he wanted to create some fakes and plunge them into his heart.

“Ah, Shirou’s kind of a dork but he’s a nice guy at heart.” Taiga said, with a smile, “What about you, what brings you here?”

“That is a long story. I came here ten years ago.” Gilgamesh said casually, “This country has some interesting things.” With that he stared directly at her, implying without actually saying anything that SHE was one of those things.

Oh the look on Faker’s face was PRICELESS. He now understood why Kotomine went out of his way to piss people off, it was so FUN.

“Ah... well...” She blushed a little, “You’ve been here a while then? Your Japanese is flawless...”

“Nothing is impossible for me.” He said, it was not a boast, it was true.

She giggled, “Ah, that sounds silly. What’s your name?”

“Gilgamesh!” He laughed again.

“Eh? Like the hero from the Mesopotamian Epic?”

“Exactly!” His respect for this woman went up a notch. Sadly, many fools had forgotten even his name in this day and age. Or worse, confused him for a buffoon from some video game.

Taiga giggled, “So, Gilgamesh...” she fluttered her eyelashes, “are you free for a lunch?”

Goal achieved, Faker ready to murder him. He would have to tell Kotomine about this. Still, time to put the woman down. “I’m sorry, Taiga. But I can only date the correct woman!”

“Huh?” Taiga sounded confused.

“Well, you see.” He glanced at Saber and gave her a thumbs up, in response she gave him the bird. “The type of woman I am interested in... she must be strong of will! She must possess great martial skill as well and-” Before he could continue to describe Saber, Taiga interrupted him.

“So if I beat you, you’d go on a date with me?”

For a brief moment, pure silence followed.

“Ah...” Gilgamesh’s face split into a huge grin. Such.. audacity! It was hilarious! She truly lacked the full knowledge of who he was. Otherwise she would not be so foolhardy as to challenge the King of Heroes! “Very well! Defeat me and I’ll be your boyfriend!”

“Score!” Taiga laughed, “OK! You know where Shirou lives? Meet me at the dojo there in an hour!” She bounded off in her own little world.

“Heh...” Gilgamesh smiled, today was a good day. He would get to ROYALLY piss off the Faker.

“Gilgamesh...” Speaking of Shirou, he currently had Caliburn and Durandal in his hands, with a dozen other swords created and ready to shoot at him. “I swear... don’t you even think of...”

“Foolish boy! The King does what he wishes.” Gilgamesh laughed. (Then he dodged a Kusanagi, where DID Shirou see that one?) “Still, I will only make her feel the sting of humiliating defeat! She will live with the shame the rest of her life.” He folded his arms and nodded. “Know this Faker, you will see her tears of humiliation! And there’s nothing you can do about it! Ahahahahahahah-” WHAM! “WHERE THE HELL DID YOU GET MJOLNIR!? YOU DAMN FAKER!”

/-------------------/

It would seem that the duel was a sword fight using wooden swords. Gilgamesh considered pulling the original wooden sword out of his treasury, but then Taiga handed him one.

“You wanna watch Shirou?” Taiga asked.

“...yeah.” Shirou said, “Me and Saber will watch.” He glared at Gilgamesh.

“Yes, watch and learn!” He held the wooden sword in his hands, “Ready?”

“Yup!” Taiga said.

Gilgamesh striked! Swining the sword, he aimed to end this in a single blow!

At the last second he slipped, slightly, and his sword went every slightly off course... and missed Taiga. His sword sailed above her head, just in time for her to hit him!

“First blood Gil-chan!” She said with a laugh.

“Wh-what the...?” He shook his head. A fluke! A silly fluke! He leaned back and struck again!

This time Taiga slipped! It was enough to throw his aim off, then she hit him again.

And again.

And again.

For an HOUR it went like this. The duel was grueling, yet Gilgamesh never managed to get a SINGLE strike.

“Could... could it be?” Saber said, her eyes wide.

“Saber.. what is it?” Shirou said.

“She... her luck ranking. It’s a divine protection surpassing any other!”

“Ha... ha... I.. won’t... give.. up...” Gilgamesh gasped for breath, “I’ll.. I’ll... Gate of Baba-”

“Whooops!” Taiga tripped, her shinai flying out of her hands... hitting Gilgamesh square in the head.

THUD. And so the King of Heroes was defeated by a perfectly ordinary high school English teacher.

/-FLASHFORWARD-/

So now they were enjoying lunch. While he may have forced himself into this thanks to the worst streak of luck to ever exist, he had swore it! So he’ll be the best damn boyfriend for Taiga ever!

Luckily that seemed to mostly involve taking her to lunch and kissing her.

The worst part was that, as long as he was chained by this oath, he couldn’t pursue Saber! It was the greatest curse. The other major problem was that both Fakers still wanted to kill him.

Still, he guessed it wasn’t all bad. Dispute her ditzy demeanor, she was rather intelligent and well read. He had been surprised to see quite a lot of books in her house the few times he had visited it, including an English translation of his own legend! And again, she was rather attractive, so holding her and kissing her was most definitely a plus.

“Hey.. Gil-chan...” Taiga said suddenly, “Why... why don’t you come over to my place tonight.” Her face red.

“Oh?” He raised an eyebrow. So she wanted to move to THAT stage in being a boyfriend. Well, it was about time he got something out of this. Hell, it had been years since he had any. “Ah, sure, I’ll be over.” he said to her delight. Finally, some good old fashioned fun.

Once again Gilgamesh underestimated how screwed he really was.

/-----------------/

KNOCK KNOCK.

Gilgamesh knocked on Taiga’s door, cheerily waved to Archer who had Gae Bolg knocked on his bow on top of a nearby building,and waited.

After a minute of waiting the door opened. Taiga was wearing a dark red strapless dress, with long black gloves. Rather then the simple earrings she wore normally, they were silver earrings with emeralds embedded in them. “Good evening Gil-chan.” She said, trying not to sound like her usual hyper self.

‘Hmm. This is the first time she’s ever tried to appear sexy.’ He nodded in approval. “Evening Taiga.”

“Ah... right!” She smiled, “Co-come in Gil-chan!”

Ah yes, the pleasure of deflowering a virgin, would make the past month worth it.

If only it would be that simple.

Taiga took Gilgamesh’s hand, “I have dinner ready!” She pulled him to the dining room, two plates were set up with a fancy looking meal. Candles were lit, wine was ready to be poured.

He knew there was no chance in hell she cooked this, probably bribed the Faker into doing it. Still, they both sat down and began eating. The food was passable.. and the wine was mediocre. Still, he couldn’t fault the girl for trying.

“Ah... Gil-chan.” She giggled as she drank some wine. “You’re such a sweetie. You’re funny and smart...” She sighed.

“Yes yes.” He nodded.

“I don’t get why Shirou doesn't like you though...”

‘Well it probably has do with with me trying to kill him, his little sister, his alternate future self, and steal his woman.’ He thought wryly, “Eh, he’s probably trying to watch out for you.”

She scowled, “I’m a grown woman! I should be looking out for hiiimmm!” She refilled her glass with more wine. “He’s still a kid!”

“Don’t you still get an allowance from your grandfather?”

“...that’s different!” She shouted, her face red. “I.. uuu Gil-chan.. that was mean.” More wine.

“Oh you just realized I’m mean Taiga?” He smirked.

“You’re mean.. huh...? Well.. I’ll be meaner then!” She slammed down her wine glass.She stood up, “Gil-chann...” She walked around the table to him. “You’re my boyfriend, riiiight?”

“...” Gilgamesh sighed, “Yes...” At least until he figured out how to get out of this bet... “You know- mmmph!” Taiga kissed him, shoving her tongue into his mouth. “Mmmphhh!” His hands waved wildly around as Taiga wrapped her arms around him. “What.. haaaa... woman!?” He gasped for breath.

“Up we go!”

“Waaahhh!!” Gilgamesh was lifted in the air, “Put me down! Put me down damn it!” This was SO not how a King should be treated! “How the hell are you picking me up woman?”

“I do work out a lot Gil-chaaaannn.” Taiga pulled him over her shoulder, “Come on.. this is fun, right?”

“Let me go wooommaannn!!!”

/-----------------------/

THUMP

And so the King of Heroes was thrown on the bed. “Taiga! What are you-”

An instant later Taiga was on top of him, straddling his waist. “When was the last time you did this, Gil-chan?”

“Now wait a minute!” The King was not on bottom! He was on top! That’s the way things went! Then Taiga kissed him again, grinding her hips against his. “Mmmphh!” Then Taiga began unbuttoning his shirt. “Taiga...!” He gasped as she tossed his shirt to a wall.

“Ehehehehe...” She looked down at him, a fanged grin on her face. Gilgamesh’s eyes widened as he saw that grin. For the first time, he realized just how fitting her nickname of ‘Tiger.’ “Gillll-chaaannnn...” With a quick movement she undid whatever was holding up her dress. Within a minute, the top of her dress slid down. She had not been wearing a bra under that dress,while her breasts were not particularly large, they fit her slender frame. “You look so cute...” She leaned down and kissed him again, rubbing her breasts against his chest. “Mmmmm....”

“Let me go woman!” Is what Gilgamesh WANTED to shout, unfortunately Taiga’s tongue had forced its way into his mouth again. ‘That’s it!’ He called forth the key-sword that was used to open the Gate of Babylon. ‘I’ll use Enduku to tie her down and show her how a woman is to accept her King’

Then, it flew out of his hands

In Taiga’s zeal for making out with her ‘boyfriend;, one her arms flailed to the right... hitting his sword, and knocking it away.

‘DAAAMMMNNNN IIIIITTTT!!!’ He thought, ‘How! Why?’ He tried to shout, but it again came out as only loud mumbles. Finally, Taiga stopped frenching him. “Woman.. wait just a aiiieeehh!’

That hand that had knocked away his sword? It was now busy unbuttoning his pants and grabbing his dick. Being a man, not even he could avoid getting an erection when a topless beauty was rubbing against him and kissing him. She pulled out his penis, tugging on it for a minute. “Wow Gil-chan..” That FANGED SMILE appeared again, “This is amazing, never seen one this big before.” She pulled down her own dress, quickly throwing it off, now the only clothing she was wearing were the gloves.

“N-no panties?” Gilgamesh finally said.

“Of course.” She leaned in close, and whispered in his ear. “I know what I wanted tonight.. ehehehe.” This wasn’t fair, no matter what he did, somehow this woman came out on top, literally! Had fate decided to make him its bitch!? She began to move forward turning around as well. Was she finally getting off... no. She wasn’t....

‘Gaah!’ Taiga had moved over him! Her vagina was over his face! Was she... was she really expecting him to.. to.

“Come on Gil-chan... make me feeelll gooooodd.”

She waaaassss! Curse the gods! Curse fate! Curse him for making that retarded bet! He was the King! He did not give pleasure, they pleasured him! That was the way of things, they felt the joy of knowing they had served their King, he did not give oral to others! Yet... yet... Taiga seemed to think this was part of the package for being a ‘boyfriend’. He could not refussseeee!! Damn his fate! The strong smell of female arousal filled his nostrils, finally he leaned his head forward and pushed his tongue into her.

“Ohh yeah, there Gil-chan... a little higher... ahhh...” She moaned, leaning over.. what is she.. oh.. ohh!! She grabbed his penis, pulling it into her mouth. Her tounge ran across the tip, slowly slipping it into her mouth, before quickly pulling out again. While she was doing this, Gilgamesh realized that if he wanted any pleasure he’d have to... (he internally shuddered at this) give HER some. His tounge pushed into her folds, moving up slowly. He let her increasingly loud moans guide him. “Ahhh yes! There... ahhh...” She managed to say before forcing his cock into her mouth again, she managed to swallow the entire length, her tongue rubbing against the base.

“Nnnaahhh...” He groaned... she was GOOD at this. He twisted his tongue around her now stiff clitoris... at that she practically screamed. Her body locked up, and her juices poured onto his face as she orgasmed. However, this didn’t stop her, in fact, she began going down on his cock even harder. Her tongue and lips rubbed every inch of it. “Guuuaahhhh!” He groaned, no way! She wouldn’t make him orgasm yet! His pride as a Hero refused to let him go before he had made the woman do so at least twice! Yet... yet... “Aahhhgggghhh!!” This woman was.. she was... “Ahhhh!”

“Pffaah!” Taiga pulled out, just in time as Gilgamesh came, within a minute her face and breasts were covered in white sticky fluid. “Wow Gil-chan, you’re filled with it aren’t you?” She giggled, before slowly rubbing his balls. “Now, let’s wait for you to recover...”

“You... uhhh...” Gilgamesh groaned. How could he be so humiliated?

“Oh?” She tugged at his dick, it was still hard naturally. “You recover fast, huh Gil-chan?”

“Of.. of course I do! I can go for hours! I can hold it in for-”

“Really? I must be REALLY good then, huh?” She said.

“....” Gilgamesh didn’t dignify her with a reply. What was the point?

“Well now...” She turned around again, now she was facing him, positioning herself over his cock. “Ready Gil-chan?” Without waiting for a response she slid down, forcing it inside her. “Ohhh ahhh!” Her fanged smile returned, “Ohhh it’s perfect....” She began sliding up and down. Gilgamesh placed his hands on her hips, gripping her tightly. He helped lift her up, then he thrust his hips up as she pushed herself down. “G-G-G-GIL-CHAN!” She screamed. Her breasts, still covered in his semen, bounced wildly. Her face was an expression of pure ecstasy. “YES! THAT’S IT!!” Her eyes glazed over as she continued to fuck him.

‘Daaamn it! She won’t make me come twice!!’ He thought, which was proving very difficult. Her pussy was gripping his dick TIGHTLY, each movement was making him shudder! ‘I’ll make her do it first!!’ He began pulling her down rather then just letting her push herself down, pushing into her faster and faster!

“AH! AH! AHHH!’ Taiga screamed, but then suddenly stopped. She stopped moving, she stopped shouting. Her eyes, however, widened and her pupils shrunk. “...ahh...” She finally breathed again, falling onto his chest. A moment later, he finally lost control, and orgasmed again.

/-----------------------/

‘This is the most humiliating night of my lifffeee...’ He had been forced to... DEGRADE himself for a woman. Damn this bet! He needed to figure out how to convince her to break up with him! ‘Oh wait. I just gave her the best orgasm of her life. Fuuuuckkk.’

“Gil-chan? You OK?” Taiga opened her eyes. After... that... they had stayed in the bed. She was currently snuggled up to him, still naked.

“I’m.. fine...” He said, “Just... a.. a little tired. Yeah.”

“Really?” She said, “Well, I’m glad you liked it.”

“Oh.. uh..” He paused, what to say? It HAD felt good. But his pride! Why did his pride have to be dragged through the mud.

“I mean, you turned down a Goddess once! I guess that makes me sexier then her huh?”

“Well I wouldn’t- Wait. What?!” Gilgamesh stared at her innocent smile. “Th-that wasn’t me, that’s the Gilgamesh from the legend!”

“Oh?” Taiga raised an eyebrow. “So you aren’t the Heroic Spirit Gilgamesh, summoned forth to take part in a twisted ritual created by insane magi, and then accidentally given a human body again?”

“.....what? How!?”

Taiga laughed, “Silly Gil-chan.” She kissed him on the cheek. “I’m a member of the Fujimura family. We RUN this town. There’s NOTHING that happens we don’t know about.” She grinned, a grin that, for the first time, made her look like the daughter of a Yakuza boss that she is. “I’m just wondering how long it’ll take Shirou to figure out I know about his magic.”

“I... I...” He stuttered, “If you knew who I was, why the HELL did you approach me!?”

“Cause you’re cute.” She laughed. “Now, Gil-chan, you’re my boyfriend... right?” She smiled sweetly.

“That’s... that’s what I bet....” He muttered.

“Good!” The Yakuza smile appeared again. “Now, as my boyfriend, you have to keep your eyes off other girls. That means leave Saber-chan alone.” At this, she began SQUEEZING HIS BALLS. “Otherwise I might get mad, OK?”

“I... I... yes... Taiga...”

“Taiga-CHAN! I’m your girlfriend.”

“Yes... Taiga-chan....”

“Good boy!” She closed her eyes and snuggled up next to him again. “Night, Gil-chan.”

“Good night....” He was doomed.

And so the Hero Gilgamesh was defeated, not by a monster, not by another hero, but by an English Teacher. One that possessed a little knowledge, a little skill, and a level of luck only achievable by a comic relief character.
- 1
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Queen Tiger: The Benifits of EX Rank Luck