Superfical Smiles | By : wingsofseyfert Category: +G to L > K-On! Views: 4440 -:- Recommendations : 0 -:- Currently Reading : 0 |
Disclaimer: I do not own K-on! nor do I profit from the writing of this story. |
Dislcaimer: I do not own K-on nor do I profit from the writing of this story.
Author's Note: Something I wanted to write but felt would be received really poorly by the readers in the other fanfiction website so I decided to write it here instead. Its pretty messed up but I'm feeling like writing something screwy anyway. Enjoy!
--
Azusa was a small girl for her age. Ever since she was young she remembered literally having to look up to everyone, including her peers, due to her size. This had not changed when she entered Sakuragaoka High School but it was something that she had grown accustomed to. Besides it was not like she thought her size to be a handicap in anyway. Sure it was annoying having to rely on others to carry things for her at times or reach for objects beyond her grasp but other than that she had learned to live with it. Her passion was playing music, guitar especially, and size did not matter when it came to her passion.
Unfortunately there would come a time when her size would become a liability and in her time of need she would wish that she had been born bigger and stronger instead of the small, frail girl that she was. It had all started the weekend after her sempais had returned from their trip to Hokkaido that Azusa had noticed something amiss.
The morning after their return Azusa was walking to school when she felt the familiar weight of her sempai suddenly glomp her from behind.
"Azu-nyan!" cried Yui in joy as she hugged her favorite kouhai.
"Y-Yui-sempai!" gasped Azusa in surprise.
"I missed you so much that I never want to let go!" declared Yui as she squeezed Azusa closer to her.
As Yui held her kouhai close to her Azusa could not help but feel that her sempai's hands were in places that really ought not to be at. For instance Yui's right hand was dangerously close to Azusa's left breast and felt as if it was inching ever closer while Yui's left hand was on the border of Azusa's skirt...a bit too low for the small girl's comfort.
To make matters worse Azusa noticed that Yui's antics were gaining some unwanted attention. She looked over at Ui and was dismayed to find her friend looking somber when normally she would either be smiling at their antics or, if she felt serious, be scolding Yui. The look at the younger Hirasawa girl's face suddenly brought forth a sense of dread that welled out of nowhere within her. Azusa suddenly felt very uncomfortable in Yui's arms and pried herself away.
"Cut it out! Must you do that in public? It's embarrassing." scolded Azusa.
"Ahh I didn't get to see you all weekend Azu-nyan can you blame me for missing you?" asked Yui sweetly.
While Azusa would normally start blushing at Yui flattering her for some reason Azusa still could not shake off that something was wrong here and that the last person she wanted to have physical contact with was Yui.
Still Azusa did not want to hurt Yui's feelings and forced a smile on her face.
"I understand sempai. I missed you too but still you can't just go around grabbing me in front of everybody. You may not mind the attention but I do. If you truly care for me can you at least wait until we are at school?"
Yui stood straight up as she placed a hand underneath her chin, as if she were attempting to ponder the mysteries of the universe. It looked comically adorable. Soon Yui's eyes snapped open as she turned toward Azusa with a thumbs up.
"Okay!"
Azusa sweat dropped at the comment but was glad that Yui was going to keep to herself at the moment. However she could not help but notice that Ui was strangely quiet.
"Ui-chan. Is something the matter? You haven't said anything." asked Azusa in concern.
"Azusa I-"
Before Ui could even respond Yui suddenly interposed herself between the two girls and held Ui close to her body.
"Ui feeling a bit under the weather but insisted she come to school. You know Ui how dedicated she is to school and stuff. Isn't that right Ui?" asked Yui with a strangely superficial smile.
"Y-Yes sis." responded Ui meekly.
Azusa felt something was not right. When she saw Yui grab her younger sister Azusa swore that Ui tensed up as if she didn't want to be held.
But why? Yui and Ui are very close. Why would Ui feel uncomfortable being in contact with Yui?
As Azusa observed her two friends she could not help but feel that Yui's smile and demeanor felt off.
I get the feeling that Yui is putting up a front. Her smiles just don't have that same genuine innocence that I'm used to seeing. It is almost as if she is acting. But why? What is she hiding and why does it look like Ui is so uncomfortable around Yui. If I didn't know any better I would think that Ui was afraid of-
"Hey guys we're over here!" cried out Ritsu from the distance as she got off the nearby train station with her best friend, Mio.
Any further thoughts were extinguished from Azusa's mind as they met up with their friends but that didn't mean Azusa forgot what had just happened.
Ui never did smile once the whole time they walked to school.
--
The day seemed to pass normally with Ui acting strangely quiet. Azusa had a strange suspicion of what was going on but dared not voice her opinion. She, along with Jun, inquired to Ui about what was wrong and Ui played it off as her feeling under the weather. Jun seemed to accept the answer without too much thought but Azusa was not sure.
Something is up. I need to talk to Ui.
During lunch Ui seemed to have disappeared so Azusa, despite her hunger, went out to look for her. Naturally the first place she went to was the restroom and it was there that she heard the sound of sobbing inside one of the stalls. Azusa knew from the sound that it was Ui and immediately called out to her.
"Ui I know it is you in there. Please tell me what is really wrong." said Azusa in concern.
"A-Azusa-chan. Leave me alone. I don't want to talk about it." responded Ui from within the stall.
This was all very unusual for Azusa. Normally Ui was open with her about problems and never had any trouble talking to her. Now Ui did not want to talk to her. Azusa then knew that there was more going on and she was going to find out.
"Ui you're one of my best friends and I'm worried. What is it that is hurting you so much that you would be crying?"
It was then that Ui opened the stall door. Azusa was surprised to find the tear stained face contorted to that of suspicion and even anger.
"You would never believe me if I told you and if you knew there would be nothing you could do about it anyway. Just give me some time. I'll get over it and things can get back to normal." replied Ui rather harshly.
Azusa was completely shocked at the tone of voice Ui had used to respond to her inquiries of concern. A small part of Azusa was angry at Ui for responding to her concerns like this but Azusa also knew that whatever was causing Ui to act like this was very serious. She swallowed her anger and attempted to tread lightly again.
"How can I help you if you are not willing to tell me anything Ui? Am I so incompetent as a friend that I cannot even comfort you? Or do you not really not trust me?" replied Azusa sadly.
Ui suddenly grabbed Azusa by the hem of her uniform and knocked the smaller girl towards the wall behind them. Azusa did not expect such a show of force from Ui and was frightened that the girl might do something to hurt her. However whatever anger Ui might have had dissipated immediately and soon her face went back to a somber smile.
"I'm sorry Azusa. None of this is your fault. You are my best friend but there are just some things that I can't tell you. This does not reflect on you as being a bad friend Azusa. These are things I haven't even told my parents and for good reason. My problems are my own. I just hope that the day doesn't come that you can relate to my pain. If that happened I would feel like a failure as a friend." responded Ui with tears in her eyes.
Azusa felt nothing short but utter sorrow coming from the young Hirasawa girl in front of her. The sound of her voice, so full of pain. Before Azusa knew it tears started to come out of her eyes as well.
"Y-You're such a good person Ui. Why do you have to suffer in silence like this? Don't you know that you can count on me? That I'm there for you?" whimpered Azusa.
It was then that Azusa felt Ui's arms surround her body and hold her close. Unlike Yui's glomps, which were often times spontaneous, uncomfortable and even painful, Ui's embrace made Azusa feel calm and safe almost like a warm blanket. Without even thinking Azusa leaned into Ui's chest with the slightly bigger girl stroking her hair.
"Oh geez I'm such a horrible friend. I'm the one who is supposed to be comforting you, not the other way around." said Azusa through tearful eyes.
Ui smiled as she held Azusa close to her. She was going through so much pain but the fact that Azusa was right here comforted her. It reminded her of a time when things used to be normal, before she had to suffer.
"You are comforting me Azusa. You being here in my time of need is more than enough. You don't have to say anything. Just stay with me. Cry with me."
With that the dam burst and both girls soon started to sob in earnest.
--
Later that afternoon when school was over the Light Music Club met up in the music room as usual for their tea drinking and practice, whenever they came around to it.
It was passing by normally but Azusa could not get into it. Her interaction with Ui earlier had dampened her mood and all day she was thinking of ways to make her friend feel better. The rest of the club members were curious as to why Azusa looked so somber but she passed it off as being tired and was left at that.
However Azusa could not help but feel that Yui was scrutinizing her the entire time. Sure Yui was up to her antics but unlike before, where it all felt genuine, Azusa knew for certain that Yui was putting up an act.
It was very good Azusa had to admit. The other members of the Light Music Club did not suspect a thing and went along but Azusa was beginning to feel very uncomfortable and thought about leaving early on several occasions but decided not to since she did not want to draw more attention to herself.
Then almost as if by coincidence Ritsu suddenly remembered something very important, which got Mio upset with her, and the both of them ended up leaving at the same time. Not a minute later Mugi expressed her desire to leave, since most of the band was gone anyway, and soon left as well.
Each and every single time Azusa wanted to muster the courage to leave with them but was too afraid of drawing suspicion. She didn't know why but Azusa did not want to be alone with Yui but in the end she stayed behind and soon it was just her and Yui in the room.
For a while it was uncomfortably silent. Azusa felt her heart racing though she did not know why. She felt like she was a lost rabbit thrown into a wolves den for some reason. In order to break the ice she soon spoke.
"It's too bad that we didn't get to practice. Seriously you guys keep preaching that you will reach the Budokan yet we hardly practice. If this goes on then-"
"I like it when Azu-nyan gets all fired up and stuff. Makes me want to cuddle you so much!" said Yui as she leapt forward in order to grab Azusa.
It was at this instant that Azusa suddenly felt alarm bells ringing in her brain. She, for some reason, knew that if Yui got her hands on her that things were not going to turn out well. Azusa, however, still did not think of leaving, not yet. It was almost as if there was an invisible force that was keeping her in place.
"Yui-sempai! I'm not just some toy that you can grab and play with whenever you want! It's bad enough that we hardly practice but then you go around pretending I'm some doll or kitten or whatever."
"Are you mad at me Azu-nyan?" asked Yui in a strangely superficial, innocent voice.
"Of course I'm mad! You keep grabbing me and I don't like it! I tell you again and again to stop it but you don't. It really makes me think whether you are truly my friend or not Yui because if you were maybe you would open your ears and pay attention to me. At least show me that respect. But so far you haven't even done that much for me."
Yui then started to creep forward toward Azusa making the smaller girl suddenly back away. Something about Yui was not right and Azusa felt like she just wanted to run away as fast as possible. But she didn't want Yui asking her annoying questions the next day so she only backed up slightly despite her instincts screaming at her to get away as fast as possible.
"You know Azu-nyan when Ui gets mad at me I have a special trick that gets her to calm down. You seem very mad and that's bad for you. Makes you gain alot of weight and then you start to grow gray hairs. Want me to show you the trick? It works every time, at least on Ui. I'm sure it will work on you as well if you let me." replied Yui in a creepy voice.
For a moment the mention of Ui's name suddenly made Azusa's eyes go wide as she thought about what had happened between the both of them earlier that day.
There is no way! This cannot be connected to why Ui has been feeling the way she has. If that is the case then....
Suddenly before Azusa could even react Yui had closed the distance between them and before Azusa knew it she was held in a tight grip. At once Azusa attempted to struggle.
"Let me go Yui-sempai!"
"Shh Azu-nyan. Everything will get better. Just let me take care of everything."
Azusa felt Yui pulling her toward the couch at the center of the music room and at once did everything in her power to heave her way out of Yui's grip.
It was useless.
Yui Hirasawa was not the strongest girl in existence but even she had more than enough power to subdue Azusa's quaint little body and no matter how hard Azusa tried she could not escape from Yui's vice like grip.
Azusa felt herself throw on the couch and for a moment she thought herself free but no sooner had the thought entered her head before Yui suddenly sat her body on top of Azusa's straddling her.
"So cute...."
Without even giving Azusa a chance to even react Yui's hand suddenly shot through between Azusa's legs as she felt the soft, silky material of the smaller girl's panties.
Azusa clamped her legs but far too late.
"Yui-sempai stop! Don't touch me there!" cried Azusa in a panic.
"Why shouldn't I Azu-nyan? Do you want me to touch you here instead?"
Without warning Yui suddenly shot her other free hand under Azusa's blazer and white shirt to knead one of her small breasts. Azusa whimpered as her face reddened in complete shame and embarrassment and at once reached out to stop Yui from groping her petite breasts.
"You're still like a little girl Azu-nyan. You haven't grown much yet. Are these still training bras you are wearing?" asked Yui innocently as if they were taking a stroll down the park.
"S-Sempai! Get your hands away from me! Stop touching me!" cried Azusa once more as she redoubled her struggle. Again it was in vain as Yui had both a strength advantage and leverage to boot. There was no way that Azusa was going to stop Yui from groping every inch of her body.
"It's alright Azu-nyan. I know its kinda weird the first time around but Ui soon got used to it you can as well. Just relax and leave it all to your sempai." replied Yui in a soothing, yet malicious voice.
"N-No! I don't want to get used to this!" cried Azusa as she started to tear up.
"Ah don't cry. It is not so bad. I'll let you touch me if you behave." replied Yui in slight reproach.
This time Azusa did not answer as she looked up at the ceiling in complete disbelief that this was happening to her. She felt Yui groping her left breast and playing with the small teat at the end before drawing circles around the areola. Meanwhile her other hand was rubbing the silken material of Azusa's panties, first by going up to her waist then back down between her legs and even further down toward her small buttocks where Yui soon rested her hand on Azusa delectable little camel toe.
" Y-Yui-sempai...I don't know what it is that I did that has got you this angry at me but whatever it is I'm sorry! Please just stop!"
Yui stopped her ministrations for a moment as she gazed into Azusa's tear stained eyes. For a moment Azusa thought that Yui had snapped out of her funk and would let go of her. She knew that even though this event would traumatize her to an extent she was willing to forgive and forget. As long as Yui let go of her right Azusa was willing to put this behind her and bury this nightmare into the deepest recesses of her mind.
Unfortunately for Azusa the soft, chocolate colored eyes of Yui suddenly narrowed as Yui grinned maliciously. To most other people this expression would look rather cute on Yui but to Azusa it was the most frightening thing she had ever seen. She was sure that if Mio was in this position the poor bassist would probably have a heart attack right then and there in fright. Azusa wished that she could have a heart attack, something to knock her into unconsciousness so that she wouldn't have to go through this horrible ordeal. Maybe, if she convinced herself hard enough, she would pass this off as nothing more than a nightmare and leave it at that.
"Who said I was angry at you Azu-nyan? I'm just trying to calm you down is all."
"Then I'm calm! Just let me go!"
"You know I can't do that. Not when we are having so much fun Azu-nyan!"
Without much more ceremony Yui soon managed to grab the panties and tugged them downward exposing Azusa openly. Already there the slight smell of dried uric acid wafting from Azusa's exposed pussy since she was not at her cleanest state. She woke up late that morning and rushed to school without taking a bath. She did shower the night before but that could not compensate for eight hours of sleep and then another eight hours of school with her using the toilet at various intervals. To some this would have been a deterrent but Yui seemed to not care and drove forward as she started to bend down and openly plant kisses on Azusa's now exposed stomach with her destination going downward.
Azusa could hardly believe that this was going on. Yui was openly molesting her. No it was worse. Yui was raping her and there was nothing she could do about it. She was too small and weak to fend the bigger girl off.
Why Yui-sempai? Why are you doing this to me? Didn't you know that I looked up to you the moment I saw you perform on stage during the first year orientation? How cool you looked just standing there with no fear or apprehension. That the entire stage was yours and you held total command. Such presence. That, for a moment, I had wanted to be just like you? To have the same confidence to go up on stage and not fear the crowd and instead play the music which we invested our very souls in and have a blast? And even though you turned out to be different than what I expected still I respected you and I even considered you the closest friend I had within the Light Music Club.
Now you have betrayed me. Everything that I have ever stood for is now nothing to you now.
By this point Yui was now near Azusa's womanhood and at once the older girl lifted Azusa's skirt so that she could see everything. Azusa did not even bother to cry out. She merely turned her head and stared at the ground. Her face was red with shame, embarrassment and anger while a river of tears flowed from her eyes.
Yui looked over at Azusa's exposure and noted its features. The bare beginnings of thin purple pubic hair that lightly covered her pubis and traced itself just outside her labia. The uric smell was stronger than ever now as Yui bent her face forward and started to lap the contents inside. Azusa was dry as she was not aroused at all by being forced into this situation but Yui seemed to do try and compensate by lapping at her vagina like a dog.
All the while Azusa just stared at the ground as she did her best to block off the violation of her own privacy but found it a failing venture. She could not escape into her mind nor tune herself out. She just couldn't do it.
Why Yui-sempai? Why are you doing this to me? Is this what has been on your mind all those times you have been grabbing me? To touch me there? To lick me in that dirty place? Is that all my friendship means to you? All those times we have practiced together, to improve our guitar playing skills and the training camps. Does any of that mean anything to you? That you would give up everything, even our very friendship just so that you can mouth fuck my own p-pussy?
Is this what you have been doing to Ui as well? Forcing her into these sick acts without her consent?
I don't want to believe this. I want to wake up and find out that this is some sick nightmare because Yui wouldn't do this to me! She wouldn't hurt me like this...not the way this monster is hurting me right now.
All the while Yui continued to lick at Azusa's delectable little pussy before venturing even further by driving a finger into Azusa.
At once Azusa clamped her legs tightly as she started to whimper.
"Don't...please...it hurts so much."
"I know it hurts. But soon it will feel good trust me." replied Yui with that eerie superficial smile of hers again.
Before Azusa even knew it Yui suddenly forced another finger inside of her and this time the small guitarist could not contain herself as she screamed in pain.
At once Yui clamped a hand over Azusa's mouth while gripping her cheeks in a painful manner.
"Scream again Azu-nyan and I'll get very mad. You can ask Ui. I can do some really mean stuff when I get mad so try to be a good girl and stay quiet alright Azu-nyan. I wouldn't want to hurt you because really I do care about you." said Yui in a mockingly innocent voice as she placed a hand on Azusa's cheek, a perverse parody of concern.
Azusa was too frightened to disagree. It was obviously apparent that her body was far too small and weak to fend Yui off and if Yui wanted to she could really hurt her.
Never did Azusa think of Yui as an intimidating figure but at this point Yui might as well have been Kimbo Slice it wouldn't really have made a difference. Azusa would have been equally powerless against both.
Azusa then started to wish that she wasn't born so small and cute looking. She had even expressed that concern to Jun during the past weekend when she said that she didn't like the way she looked at times because people thought of her as a cute doll.
I'm not a doll! I'm not a toy! I'm a person... a human being! Why can't anyone see that?
If only she was born bigger and stronger then maybe she wouldn't have been a victim. If she had been born a boy and instead of getting into music she could have joined a sport, a martial art or weight lifting. Activities that would show that she was not some little toy but a force of nature more than capable of holding its own against those who wished to harm her.
But Azusa was not born a boy nor was she born with strength or size. She was born a small, meek looking girl that was as far from a force of nature than anything.
She hated herself right now. How helpless and feeble looking she was. It was exactly those characteristics that has made her victim today and to Yui of all people.
Yui continued to roughly push her two digits in and out of Azusa's dry vagina. It burned so much. The harsh friction was literally rubbing her raw from the inside. It took everything Azusa had not to scream in pain.
"Yui-sempai please stop! It hurts...it hurts so much." whimpered Azusa but Yui was deaf to her pleas.
Fortunately for Azusa her body soon started to react to Yui's ministrations as Yui had finally started to get Azusa wet.
Despite how she looked Azusa was not ignorant to masturbation. She had actually started to experiment with herself as of last year as she too was prone to urges beyond her control. While somewhat gross Azusa had to admit that the feeling of reaching climax was pleasing and satisfying to say the least.
The fact that she was beginning to feel some small amount of pleasure in all of this made the twin tailed girl sick. She couldn't believe that her body was actually starting to enjoy getting itself forcibly finger fucked.
"Look you see Azu-nyan your body is beginning to enjoy this. Look how wet you are already!" said Yui excitedly, as if she found her favorite brand of ice cream.
Yui held her two fingers out that glistened with Azusa's wetness and soon popped them into her mouth, much to Azusa's disgust
"So good! I think you might taste even better than Ui but what can I expect from my Azu-nyan?"
Your Azu-nyan? No, no, no, NO! I don't belong to you! I'm not a doll or pet. I'm a person...not a toy to be played with....
Azusa soon started to not care. She was staring at the ground again as she lay pliant and unresisting praying desperately in her head that Yui would get bored and leave her alone soon.
It was then that Yui lifted her own skirt and drove her fingers inside her panties as she shifted around her own cunt before taking them out again and showing them to Azusa.
"See Azu-nyan! I'm wet too! I got to taste you so I think its fair that you taste me too!" said Yui happily as she drove her fingers inside Azusa's mouth.
Asuza gasped and felt her stomach nearly hurl. The taste was awful. Thankfully Yui did not leave her fingers in for too long and soon withdrew them, much to Azusa's relief.
"We're almost done Azu-nyan. I know it hurt when we started but I promise to make you feel good in the end. Trust me." said Yui happily as she resumed finger fucking the small kouhai this time going faster than ever.
Thankfully for Azusa she did not have to endure as much pain as her pussy was now sufficiently wet but the pain was never what bothered Azusa to begin with. It was the fact that she had got violated by the person she admired most. That she was forced to partake in this gross, iniquitous act without her consent. It didn't matter if Yui was another girl and not a man. It did not give Yui the right to grope and touch her the way she was.
Soon Azusa started to feel her heart race as she felt the pleasure climbing.
I can't believe I'm enjoying this. That I am actually getting aroused while getting raped. What kind of sick freak am I? Have I always been like this? Do I enjoy getting taken advantage of?
That was what made this whole situation the worst. The fact that Azusa was enjoying herself, to the point that she was started to move her hips in accordance to Yui's finger fucking.
I want Yui to stop but at the same time I don't want this to end either. Is this really who I truly am? Just some...some...slut...? That in the end I can give everything up, my dreams, hopes and guitar skills just to submit myself to any sort of perverse punishment?
The worse thing about all this is the fact that I'm so ashamed of myself I don't even want to tell anyone. I don't want anyone to know just how much of a little bitch I really am. That I enjoy getting raped. What girl would enjoy that if she were not the lowest of the low?
I hate you Yui! I-I-I...I fucking hate you Yui Hirasawa! I hate you for making me realize this side of me! Why couldn't I continue living a lie? Why couldn't I continue believing that I was a decent person and that my goals and dreams were so much grander than being someone's little toy? Why do you have to tear the bandages out of my eyes before I'm ready? You're so cruel Yui-sempai. So cruel.
Most of all I hate myself. The fact that I do enjoy this. That I hate myself for being too much of coward to tell anyone. That I'm too weak to do anything about this even if I wanted to.
I would rather feel pain from what Yui is doing to me than this pleasure. At least if I felt disgust and pain then I could tell myself that I was a victim, a decent person that got forced into a situation she did not want to be in and could make Yui the evil one here. But for me to feel pleasure says that I would try this eventually. That I would enjoy this being done to me again, even if it was forced. In a strange way I'm partly to blame because if this is how I truly am.
Yui-sempai. Have you known this part of me the whole time when even I didn't? Is this why you are doing this to me? Because you know I won't tell anyone? Because you know that I would eventually enjoy it?
Azusa soon started to pant harder and harder and soon could not help herself anymore as she screamed in ecstasy as she was brought to climax. It was the biggest climax she ever had. Nothing she did with her own fingers even came close to the way Yui made her feel.
So Azusa lay there out of breath, heaving as if she had run a marathon, as Yui got up and tidied herself.
"I need to go home already but it was fun! Maybe we can do this again? See you tomorrow Azu-nyan!" said Yui as she skipped towards the door as if nothing had happened.
However as she got to the exit Yui turned and, for a moment, Azusa saw on Yui's face a look of pure seriousness and dare she say even malice? It was quite frightening at least to Azusa.
"Oh and let us keep this our little secret since we are best friends. I wouldn't want to get mad at you and do something I don't want to because you're so cute it would be a shame to hurt you. But I will if I have to. Anyway see you tomorrow!"
With that Yui soon left leaving Azusa alone.
For a while Azusa just lay there in complete shock unable to process what had just happened. Her panties were on the ground somewhere as she was still naked underneath her skirt but at this point Azusa just did not care.
Then, out of nowhere, Ui suddenly walked into the room her face full of sorrow and pity.
"I'm sorry Azusa. I'm so sorry." said Ui as she knelt beside Azusa with tears in her eyes.
"Y-Yui-sempai...s-she...s-she...."
"I know. The feeling of hate and worthlessness. The fact that you could actually feel good while someone is dominating you. To be honest Azusa it has gotten to the point that I now look forward to Yui coming into my bed at night and forcing me. I...I enjoy it all! I like it when sis comes and forces my pajamas off, or when she hits me for making her mad, or when she starts to work her fingers on me. It is almost as if I have become addicted to that feeling of pure bliss that I have to have it now. This is why I couldn't tell you earlier. Because you wouldn't understand why I would do nothing to Yui when she forces herself on me. And now that you have gone through this ordeal you now know. You too want to get dominated again. The next time sis tries you will not fight as hard because deep down you know you want it. And each time sis succeeds the harder it is to stop. I am already lost Azusa. Even if Yui decides to stop there will come a time when I will beg her to strip me, to beat me, to rape me. I-I hate myself. I hate myself so much for feeling like this! To know that I am completely controlled by this one person. I know how you feel Azusa. More than you can ever imagine...."
Azusa could not help but feel the upmost pity for her fellow classmate and friend. Ui was now caught in a cycle that was nearly impossible to get out of and the worst part of all of this was the fact that Azusa knew how she felt.
"Ui...I don't know what to do. I don't want Yui to do this to me again but why? Why did it have to feel so good? Am I just some horrible freak is that all I am? I don't want to feel this way! But I'm so lost that I don't even know myself anymore!"
Ui looked over at Azusa sympathetically. She could feel Azusa's pain because she had experienced it herself. No matter how many times she had gone through this ordeal Ui knew that it never got better. She would feel just as wretched and full of self loathing and hate now as she did the first time she got forced. She couldn't tell Azusa that it would get better in time or that she would somehow cope. That would be a cruel lie. There was no getting used to this or coping. If anything it got worse as time went along.
"You know Azusa if I had the answer I would gladly give it to you. Even after all this time I too am still lost. Each time sis takes advantage of me makes me realize how worthless I really am. That without Yui I'm nothing."
Azusa felt the tears burst anew as she grabbed at Ui's uniform collar and beat her feeble little fist on Ui's chest.
"No! I don't want to believe this! This is a nightmare that I'm going to wake up out of! This can't be real. Oh God please don't let this be real!"
Ui immediately grabbed hold of Azusa and she held the smaller girl close to her, cooing her with soft words of comfort. Ui knew the feeling of utter hate and worthlessness after such an ordeal but unlike Azusa she had to bear the burden alone.
But Ui vowed that Azusa would not have to suffer like that. If there came a time that Azusa would fall victim again Ui would be there to catch her. She knew that she could not take away Azusa's pain that was impossible. But at the very least she could mitigate it and share the burden.
You won't be alone Azusa. I'm here for you.
Just cry Azusa. Let it all out. There is no shame in your tears. Cry with me and see that you are not alone."
So both young women clung to each other with utter desperation, finding sanctuary in each other's arms. Neither knew when their torment would ever end but they knew that if they had to continue suffering at least they had each other to fall on.
It was cruel, horrible and unjust but Azusa and Ui had each other and, for the moment, that was all they needed.
--
Author's Note: Yes really out of character and pretty messed up in general but meh. That and I haven't written a lemon in a while but I have been wanting to write this for a long while. Review, critique, praise or flame it doesn't matter. Hit me up and let me know what you all think.
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